Kamakiri didn't return.
By the time the zombie escorted me out of the attraction and even offered to buy me a drink, him and his friends were long gone.
Being the numbskull I was, I waited by the exit. Praying I was mistaken, and that maybe Kamakiri and his friends didn't mean any harm. That maybe they had honestly gotten separated from me and wanted nothing more than to reconcile.
I was so stupid.
When faced with the facts, my mind the clearest it'd been in a while, my eyes no longer watered. In fact, part of me was relieved.
Princes didn't exist. It was something I'd always known. Daisuke Kamakiri, although handsome, wasn't the exception.
I fell for a guy because of some flowery words and fake smile. Looking back on it, I was probably falling for what I wanted Kamakiri to be. I reflected my ideals onto a guy I barely knew, just because he'd given me the time of day. Just because I desperately wanted somebody in that school to treat me like a normal girl.
This wasn't anything new. This wasn't the first time somebody from Hoshizaki treated me poorly.
I'd be fine.
"You really are an idiot."
My fingers curled into tight fists but that didn't stop them from trembling.
I'd be all right.
✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧
Hoshizaki Academy's hallways were remarkably animated. Laughter as well as trivial conversation pooled around me, but somehow, it grated in my ears. It felt menacing—as if they were pointing their amusement towards me. I knew I was overreacting, but that didn't stop me from reflexively picking up the pace and bunching the fabric of my sweater vest.
My classroom was quiet, only because it was early and not many people had arrived. I hastily took my seat, hooking the strap of my bag underneath my desk where it belonged. It was after I straightened my posture that a yell boomed across the room.
"Shiina! Thank goodness! I was worried you wouldn't come until after the bell!"
As if it were rehearsed, Hachi barrelled into the classroom, arms outstretched, face stained in crocodile tears. Before I could make sense of what had brought this on, or why he was dashing towards me, I was tackled.
"I'm so, so, so glad!" he exclaimed, rubbing his cheek against mine. "If you weren't here I wouldn't know what I'd do! He would've killed me—"
Hachi's ear-piercing scream was muffled against a hand that'd smacked over his mouth. He was brutally shoved head-first into my desk.
"If you want to die so badly, I'll get it over with right now."
Hachi flailed for freedom, genuine waterworks begin to prickle the corners of his wide eyes.
Shell-shocked, I mutely craned my neck.
Jin Narumi, the class representative alongside Hachi, stood scarily apathetic. His honey blond hair framed his chiselled features, chilling turquoise eyes narrowed into slits. It was the look of a murderer—one who'd dragged countless souls to the underworld without the slightest remorse.
It wasn't unnatural for the two to bicker. While Hachi was popular for his outgoing and sunshine-like personality, Narumi's dark demeanour allowed him to be dubbed Hoshizaki Academy's 'Ice Prince'. Truly two opposites of a pole.
Still, it didn't explain why these two were having this farce right in front of me. There were countless empty desks around us, and tons more classmates.
"Rumi!" Hachi complained after breaking free. He huffed and puffed to regain his breath. Then, cradling his cheek, this time with genuine pain in his voice, he ducked behind me. "You can't threaten a student just because of a little mistake!"
"Little?" Narumi's glower was bone-chilling. He whipped out a shredded piece of paper. "You destroyed our class list for the Sports Festival!"
"That's why we're here to rewrite it, right?" Hachi frowned, resting his arm on my shoulder. "Jeez, Rumi. And you wonder why you have so many wrinkles. Lighten up."
Narumi's jaw twitched.
I sweatdropped.
Oblivious to the thick malice in the air, Hachi straightened up and beamed down at me. "Anyway, Shiina. The original copy of what students signed up for the Sports Festival is ruined so Rumi and I are going around to ask everyone to sign up again."
All the theatrics for a conversation that could've ended within a minute.
Sighing, I dug into my desk for my supplies. "Anything's fine."
Hachi blinked dramatically. "Anything? Are you sure?"
"Yup." I rested my chin on my palm. "Even if I chose a sport, our classmates will ask me to switch with them anyway. Save me the trouble by putting my name last."
The silence was overbearing.
Hachi crouched, placing his elbows on my desk. His emerald green irises stared up at me. "Is everything okay, Shiina?"
Tears pricked the corners of my eyes. It wasn't intentional, and I batted them off before he could notice, but the heaviness in my chest remained.
I'd always admired Hachi. He was kind to everyone. Friends with everyone. There wasn't a single person who didn't hit it off with him. Although the two did argue here and there, the same applied to Narumi. They spent a lot of time together, completing their duties and conversing. Hachi made it look easy to befriend somebody who otherwise wouldn't give him the time of day.
Maybe in the beginning being greeted by Hachi or being complimented after gym class, touched me. But I soon realized his kindness wasn't selective. There was no point thinking I was special; that he genuinely cared about someone like me—the constant object of ridicule by our peers—when he had so many others at his side.
There was the chance it was sincere, that he truly did care about everyone equally, but I didn't want to get my hopes up. Just because I talked to Hachi wouldn't change that I ate my lunch alone every day. That I had no friends to hang out with on my way home. That I had nobody other than Rin-Rin to text about nonsensical things.
Taking his kindness for granted wouldn't pull me out of the shadows and into the light. Just like he was meant to have friends, I was meant to be alone.
"I'm fine," I choked out, turning the other cheek. "I'll show up and do what I can but I don't want it to be at the expense of another. So, any sport's okay. I'll even be a referee."
Hachi's frown spoke volumes. "But. . ."
"Let her do what she wants." Narumi was already a scribbling something into the margins of the brand new sheet. "If we can save ourselves the others complaining about being put in this beanstalk's group, let's take it. I for one don't want a repeat of the chaos that day the teacher was forced to put her into the boys' gym class."
Hearing it out of his mouth stabbed me like an arrow. Unlike Hachi, Narumi's callousness was commonplace.
"Rumi!" Hachi rebuked anyway, lurching to his feet.
"She should be grateful we even offered her the chance to sign up," he huffed. "At least she realizes where she stands. Makes my plate lighter."
"Rumi!" Hachi's shout was uncharacteristically stern. "Shiina is—"
"—this class's burden." Arms crossed, Narumi held his head high. "So hindrances should make like hindrances and stay out of everyone else's way."
I shakily stumbled to my feet. The chair screeched. I couldn't hide the stream of tears currently cascading down my cheeks.
The shock registered on Hachi's face was immense. He was speechless. Not only Hachi. The rest of my classmates. Narumi was, too.
"Shiina—" Hachi tried.
But it was too late. I'd already bolted out of the room.
I could already feel all the surprised head turns. Could hear all the gasps of those bumbling out of the way to avoid collision. But I didn't stop. I couldn't.
All the tears and sadness I'd piled and piled throughout the months came pouring out.
I felt so pathetic.
I already knew. I knew it terribly well. That I didn't fit in.
So why did it still hurt?
I crashed into an unbelievably firm surface. The impact was enough to knock me to the ground. My knees and palms skimmed the concrete to save my fall. It left a soaring pain in its place.
"Hey! What did you do that for?"
I should've paid more attention to the fact that the person I'd collided with was Igarashi. However, once on the floor, I no longer could power through. I couldn't surface any strength to get up and run—hide. Simply burying my hands into my face to protect whatever dignity I still had, I pathetically bawled.
"Ki. . .saragi?" Igarashi was jaw-dropped and bug-eyed once it settled in for him. He scrambled onto his knees, grappling for his bag. The big red spot in the middle of his forehead and the pain that must've came with it, was lost to him. "I know our collision must've hurt but you don't have to cry about it."
I shook my head, whimpering heavily. I couldn't muster my voice.
"Come on. Stop crying. People are watching." He poked his head closer, eyebrows scrunched tight. "Is it your foot? Did you twist it? Here, take my hand."
What was he doing? It was so uncharacteristic and gross.
"St-stop. . . being nice," I sputtered between breaths.
"What do you mean stop? When somebody offers to help you, it's courtesy to accept it, woman. Here." He grasped my hand between his surprisingly soft fingers. "Stand up."
"No." I bit my lip, hard. "You're going to tease me."
"I'll save that for after you're standing."
I sobbed harder.
"I— I was kidding. It was a joke. I won't make fun of you!"
"Or laugh?"
"Or laugh." Igarashi sighed as I rubbed at my eyelids with a hopeless frown. "Jeez, for somebody so freakishly tall you're surprisingly wimpy."
Although that'd typically score him an immediate slap-fest, my hand tightened around his. It took a lot of effort for Igarashi to assist me to my feet. In fact, he even dramatically hunched over to 'catch his breath.' I wasn't sure if it was because of his personality, or my reflexive need to keep face around him, but I'd stopped crying so heavily. Sniffling, I fixed my gaze to the floor and my scratched shins.
"Better?" Igarashi asked after straightening his posture.
The hushed whispers of those around us didn't bother him in the least.
In that very moment, the school bells chimed—echoing across every inch of the campus—signalling the start of class.
Before I could dare turn on the heels of my shoes, my sleeve was seized. Igarashi's hold was firm, nails pressing against my skin. Stunned, I twisted around. He carried a mischievous look in his eyes.
"There's no point if you're not feeling it." He hooked his thumb behind him, his other hand tucked firmly in his pocket. In that moment, his grin was immaculate. "Follow me."
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