As if the universe wasn't punishing me enough, it had to throw the boy from the airport into the mix. I've told people off before. Doesn't everybody? But I never expected to come face to face with them again. This felt different. I can't get his face out of my head. He stared at me like I was a monster and maybe I am, but isn't that why I came here? To change that very thing about myself.
I head into the kitchen where my little brother's giggles lure me. As I reach the doorway my phone chimes with an Instagram notification. My heart aches. Chase liked and commented on my personal Instagram. With trembling fingers, I open the app.
Out of all the photos it's the one I uploaded earlier after my makeover.
TheRealCDawson: Beautiful as always. You didn't need to change, you're beautiful either way. Miss you.
My eyes sting, and nose tingles. Trying to keep the tears at bay is so damn hard. This boy already crushed me and now he thinks he can make these kinds of comments on my Instagram. It's my private profile but everyone who is close to me will see this comment.
The world doesn't know that our relationship was a lie, a sham. There are only a few people including the ones who forced us together, AKA our moms, who know the truth. I say the breakup was mutual because it technically was. It was better that we went our separate ways. In the end only I knew that Chase had been seeing other girls in private and I couldn't hold up the charade any longer, especially when my feelings for him hadn't been fake.
Walker and Dad's laughter pull me from my thoughts. Elli screams with excitement and the threat of tears vanish.
"Hey, where's my ice cream?" I ask from the doorway.
Walker lowers his chin, eyes wide, and Dad... I can't read his expression well, it's kind of shook –– yet confused. They give me a once over, from the new hairdo to the glasses. Elli seems to notice the shift in the room and stares at me.
"Ex!"
I'm almost surprised he recognized me, but Elli seems very in tune with what's going on around him. Meanwhile Dad and Walker are still observing me with caution.
"What?"
I suddenly feel self-conscious, like it was a stupid thing to do. Why did I even think that changing my appearance would help with anything? If dad and Walker don't like it, what will everyone else think?
"It's different," Dad says.
"Different good or bad?" My voice trembles.
"It's good, baby girl."
Walker comes over and puts an arm around my shoulder. His smile is contagious, and I mirror his look. All the bad things that happened today have melted away from just entering this house and being with the family members who care most about me.
"Ex, ice cream," Elli says.
Walker urges me forward. Dad stands from his seat next to Elli and throws his arms around me.
"I do love it, Lennox, it was just a bit of a shock," he whispers.
"Thanks Dad."
He pulls away to get a better look at me and then goes in for another hug. I bask in his warmth, the tears building back up. I truly hadn't realized how much I missed Dad until I got here.
If I had walked into my mother's house looking the way I did today she would've had a fit. The blonde on me was a staple for my character Andi, and for me as an actress.
I take Dad's seat next to Elli as Walker brings over the ice cream from the freezer. Elli's bowl is already full. He's got two big heaping scoops of chocolate ice cream with M&M's and whipped cream on top. He reaches across the table for a bag of miniature Swedish fish and holds it up towards me.
"How did you know those were my favorite?" I ask, making direct eye contact with him, even though I know he can't do the same to me.
I did a little bit of reading before bed last night about Autism. Eye contact is one of the hardest things for those on the spectrum. Elli looks proud of himself for picking out my favorite treat.
"Which should I have, Elli, Vanilla, or strawberry?"
Elli points to the strawberry container. I put some into my bowl and let him put the fish on top. He flaps his hands when he's done and looks around at everyone, proud of himself for helping.
Dad and Walker sit across from us and watch as Elli and I devour our bowls of ice cream together.
"What are your plans this summer?" Dad asks.
I would have responded to find myself, but I know that's not the answer he's looking for.
"Kind of hoping to be a normal teenager and taking it easy," I say. "Unless you need help at the theater. I don't mind working there."
This fall will be my first time entering the high school. Alexa and I dreamed about it for years, but I landed the role of Andi before we got the chance. This summer was supposed to be about wanting a normal teenage experience. Hanging out with my friends, counting down to the school year, and just being normal for once without people trying to capture every moment of my life.
He's thoughtful for a moment but finally says, "I need some help with something, and I know how much time you spend on social media. You might be able to help me out."
Most of my time is spent on social media. It was my job to not only act, but also reach out to fans and do my best to stay relevant. In contrast Dad hasn't had an online account since Myspace. Walker made him a Facebook page, but he doesn't use it.
"You have a gram account, tweetster?"
I almost choke on the ice cream I shoved in my mouth. Walker grins and reaches over to hand me a napkin. I've got a little ice cream dribbling down my chin.
"Instagram, yeah. Why?"
Dad looks embarrassed to admit that he isn't too familiar with it.
"The Orbit is popular, but I'd like to expand our fanbase on other platforms. I want the page to be interactive with questions for the fans to answer, and maybe some giveaways."
I finish my last spoonful of ice cream and push my bowl off to the side. "I can do that, what made you decide to do this?"
Walker stands and grabs my empty bowl along with Elli's.
"I told your dad that a lot of kids and young adults use Instagram and Twitter now, and we could reach a wider audience with it. Facebook is a bit outdated, even for my taste. And while I think Tik Tok would be great, it's a lot to take on, so for our purpose, Instagram could work." Walker says.
Walker is a bit keener on technology from his work, but Dad never seemed interested in learning even though movies are his favorite thing.
"Yeah. Tik Tok is a bit much. I have an account, but rarely update. I like Instagram better, because I love the artistic aspect of it. Maybe starting out on Instagram first. We can work out way up by making Reelz and go from there."
"See. I knew you would know what to do ... what's Tik Tok?" Dad asks.
"Sweetheart," Walker says, lovingly. "It was originally for like those dancing trends but now it's turned into a shit –– I mean." He catches himself, and glances over at Elli to see if he took note. But he's too busy playing with his food. "It's got a variety of people making videos of themselves. I'm sure Lennox doesn't have time to manage both. An Instagram will be good."
"So, you just want me to make it or ––?"
"Actually, I want you to run it for me."
I'm shocked, I figured Dad would have asked one of the employees at the theater to run a page. "Really? Why me?"
He reaches across the table and pats my hand. "You'd do a hell of a lot better than I would."
Dad would more than likely do well if I showed him how to do it but running the page doesn't seem that bad. I love being online and it will be another thing to distract me from my Hollywood drama with Chase and Mom. I could run giveaways, and even do Starlien signed photo ones too.
"I'll do it!"
Dad's face lights up like he's received the best present ever.
"Alright, buddy, it's time to clean you up and get you ready for bed." Walker comes over and picks Elli up from his chair.
"Ex, read a book," he says.
I look up at the little guy held high in Walker's arms and give him a smile. I remember when Dad used to read me books before bed. It was never something Mom cared to do. I didn't mind at the time because it was our thing. Dad would always pick these crazy books to read, and by the time I was five he had read me the whole first Harry Potter.
"I'd love to."
Walker smiles. "I'll come get you when we're all tucked in."
"Elli is great," I say, once he and Walker have left.
Dad smiles. "He seems to like you a lot."
I'm glad that Elli has taken a liking to me. I'm still a little nervous around him, afraid I'll do the wrong thing, but I'm excited to get to know my little brother a bit more.
As I wait for Walker to call me upstairs, I start making the Instagram page for the theater. I set it up as Orbit_TheaterLI. I share the new page on social media. I want people all over to get word of Dad's awesome little theater.
Once I'm done, I head upstairs. I lean against the door frame of Elli's room watching Walker tuck him in. Dad and Walker each give him a kiss and then turn to me. Elli spots me right away and flaps his arms with excitement. I walk into what looks like outer space. On the dark blue walls and ceiling are glowing stars and planets.
I nestle into the small wooden rocker beside Elli's twin bed. He holds the heavy blue comforter up to his chin. I'm nervous to read to him, I've never read a book to a child before. Elli doesn't waste any time. He hands me a blue book with an angry Pigeon on the front cover. For the first time since meeting him his eyes are focused on me.
As I read, he interacts with the story making comments every other page or so. He repeats some of the parts quietly to himself. From the looks of it this book has been red many times over. The binding creaks, and some of the pages are wrinkled.
By the time I shut the book, Elli's eyelids are heavy.
"Night, night, hug Ex," he says.
I place the book back on the small wooden bookcase next to the rocker. Elli has his arms wide open waiting for a hug. I read that people on the spectrum don't often seek attention from others, but Elli is a big mush ball, and I don't mind one bit.
Walking back to my room, I jump at the sight of Dad and Walker waiting.
"You did good, Lennox," Dad says.
I give them both hugs and head off to my room for the night. The events of today are not even plaguing my mind. Instead, I keep replaying in my head how happy Elli was when I read him the story. I could definitely learn to love that little boy as if he were my own blood.