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where he comforts her and
is her safe haven in times
of need
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this oneshot sucks and the ending is really cheesy. but it was sitting in my drafts and i wanted to get it published so here ya go !
WOW two updates in a day I am insane. ok
PSA if you haven't figured it out already. i'm in love with the 100 series. bellamy and clarke better get together and stop jumping around from person to person like fuckboys or doing nothing to progress their relationship or im gonna lose my shit i swear
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"Y/N? Coulson's on the line and he's asking for you. Might wanna come over and pick up, this sounds important," Tony held out his phone to you and you took it, holding it up against your ear. How serious did the situation have to be for Phil himself to call you or one of the others directly? You couldn't seem to recall any other occasions in which he'd done the same thing, either.
"Y/N, you there?" Phil questioned.
"Yep," you replied, "there was something you wanted to inform me about?"
"I have good news and bad news. Which one would you rather hear first?"
"Good news."
"Alright then. The SHIELD operative teams deployed for three months in Colombia were successful in completing their mission, so you guys will be taking a break for a bit unless something else comes up."
"And the bad news?"
"The bad news..." he paused for a moment, and you grew worried upon hearing the slight uneasy edge to his tone. It didn't sound normal. "Not everyone made it back."
"Who didn't make it?" your brows furrowed together as you tapped your foot nervously.
"Out of 24, 7 didn't. Your older brother was killed in action as they were making their escape. I'm sorry."
"What?" your voice raised by several notches, causing the others around you to look at you in confusion. "That...that can't be possible..."
"I'm so sorry, Y/N," he offered, in a much calmer tone than before, "but for now, just take your time, alright? We'll make any other necessary funeral arrangements if needed. It'll take place two weeks from now."
"Okay," you replied as your hands began shaking violently, "I'll see you then. Bye, Phil."
"See you later."
You let out a long breath and handed Tony his phone back, trying to steady yourself and still in shock over what you'd just been told.
"What happened?" the billionaire observed your pale, grief-stricken face, "Y/N, honey, what's wrong?"
You couldn't seem to find the right words to speak and simply stood there, shaking your head as tears started stinging at the corners of your eyes and began blurring your vision.
"He's dead," your voice came out in barely a whisper, "he didn't make it. Tried to escape but he was too late. They caught him and-"
Nobody said a single word and the entire room fell silent, unknowing of what to say.
A single tear slipped down your flushed cheek and you turned around on your heel, storming out into the pouring rain.
Peter pressed his fingers to his temples and let out a long sigh, contemplating what to do for a moment before standing up and putting a jacket on. "I'm gonna go get her. She's gonna catch a cold if she stays out there for any longer."
"Go get 'em, champ," Sam whooped, but quickly shut up when Natasha smacked him in the shoulder and gave him a look that said now's not the time to tease the lovebirds.
"Ow!"
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"Hey, Y/N, you okay?"
"I'm fine," you firmly pressed your lips together, but the pained expression you wore told him otherwise. "I can get through this and move on. That's what Andrew would've wanted for me to do. The last thing he would've wanted was for me to shed an extra tear over him."
"I'm sorry," he spoke quietly, carefully choosing his words as not to trigger you in any way, "I know what it feels like to lose someone-"
"Please, just stop!" you yelled over the thundering sound of raindrops slamming against the ground, causing him to flinch when your voice cracked, "I'm so sick of this. All people can tell me is 'I'm sorry for your loss' or 'I'm so sorry' and that's it. I don't want to hear it anymore because I know it's out of pity that people are saying anything at all, feeling obligated to at least say something or because they don't know what else to say."
You wiped furiously at the tears that began escaping down your face. "Hell, I don't even know what to say to myself either, Peter, I don't even know what I'm supposed to do anymore."
"Look, if there's anything you need, just let me know," he offered, "I know it's not easy to-"
"I don't need your pity! If anything, it's my fault," you croaked out, pointing at yourself, "Why couldn't it have been me? I should've been the one out there. He volunteered to go with them. I didn't even bother trying to stop him from going and taking his spot instead, and look where that got him! He's about to be buried six feet under because of a decision I didn't make. I should be dead right now, not him. He's the one that should be alive, not me, I don't deserve to live when he went down suffering, I can't live with that weight on my shoulders-"
"Don't say that," he said sternly, "you didn't know how it was going to turn out. How are you supposed to know whether the outcomes will be good or bad? Placing blame upon yourself for a situation you have no control over isn't right. And if you died...I don't know what I'd do then. I'd die myself before that ever happened."
His chest ached. He couldn't stand to see the sight of you in pain, especially when you were wishing to die in someone else's place because you felt as if it was what you deserved. Peter didn't want you to leave. He'd already lost someone he loved before and wasn't about to let you suffer the same fate.
"If given the opportunity to go back in time to before he was sent off, I'd jump at it the first chance I got," you whispered, "but this is real life, and I can't restart things when I make a mistake or regret something that I did in the past."
"That doesn't mean you can't forgive yourself," Peter responded, "I know your brother wouldn't want you to torture yourself like this. He'd want you to give yourself a second chance."
"I really miss him," you mumbled, fiddling with your thumbs as several more tears dripped down your cheeks, "I just wish I could at least see him and say goodbye one more time. He was the only family that I had left, and now he's gone."
You couldn't seem to hold back the wave of grief trapped inside of you, and squeezed your eyes shut as the tears started dripping down and flowing out of you like a flood. They clawed their way through your body in racking, heaving sobs that left you unable to breathe properly without feeling like something was twisting in your chest. And you just stood there for who knew how long, without caring about the fact that the weather had only worsened, claps of loud thunder resonating throughout the gray skies and the rain soaking you from head to toe.
Anyone on the team could embrace you and tell you everything was going to be okay but in reality, the only person you truly wanted to comfort you and the only one who could genuinely make you feel better was Peter. You reached out for him and mumbled his name, and in the blink of an eye he was right there, enveloping you in his warm, strong arms and whispering soothing words into your ear.
He silently placed a hand on the small of your back and led you inside, and despite how you were shivering all over because you were starting to grow rather cold, it felt a bit warmer under his touch.
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"Odin's beard, kiddos, you guys are soaked," Steve's brows furrowed together as his eyes widened slightly in shock when he opened the door to see you two completely drenched. "Are you trying to catch a cold or something? Go wash up and we'll get some hot cocoa ready."
You nodded numbly and went down the hallway to your room, quickly taking a steamy shower on the hottest setting and changing into more comfortable clothes within ten minutes. More like twenty, though. You spent half the time standing there and moping, but at least you couldn't tell your tears apart from the water.
Afterwards you dragged yourself down the stairs and flopped onto the couch with teartracks still etched on your flushed face. You laid down and rested your head in Peter's lap as you stared blankly at the dark TV screen in front of you, willing yourself to stop moping.
"You're going to be okay," he reassured you as he ran his fingers through your hair, "I'll make sure of it."
"Awwww, how sentimental," Sam let out a wistful sigh and placed his hand over his heart.
"My brother is dead, Wilson," you muttered without looking up at him, "that's not sentimental."
"No, kiddo, that's not what I meant," he shook his head, "I'm talking about you guys being a thing."
"We're not a thing," you deadpanned, but at the same time you spoke you swore you could hear Peter's heartbeat pick up speed and his body grow warm from your words. "Hey, Peter, you alright? You seem tense."
"Y-yeah, I'm f-fine," he stuttered, which seemed strange for him to be shaking as he was wrapped up in a bunch of fluffy fleece blankets with you. "N-nothing's wrong at all."
You put two fingers up against his neck in the spot right below his jaw, and felt his heartbeat going wild. "You sure?"
"It's 'cause he's in loooooooooove," Sam drawled.
"Cool," you shrugged, causing Peter to freeze up and sit there stiffly. "Just kidding, I love you."
"I love you too," he managed to get out before the rest of the team started teasing him relentlessly over how red his face was.
And for a moment, everything seemed perfectly okay again, and you tried your best to stay in the moment for as long as you could.
Good job, sis, you could almost hear him speaking to you from above. I've been waiting for this to happen for a while. Be sure to make him happy.