Kora
"Kora, kora."
I moaned as I turned to the other side of my bed, reaching for my pillow and throwing it over my ears. My head was literally banging, and I had no intention whatsoever of getting up from it.
It had been two days, two days since Jeremiah's outburst during one of my lectures, two days since I had locked myself up in my room. Locking myself up in my room for days happened to be something I was getting really good at. It was my escape route to not facing whatever it was that was happening outside my room. Not that anyone even cared.
No one in NAUN had said a word about what had happened between me and Jeremiah since it happened. I doubt they could even remember it, but I did, and if I did, it meant he did too.
I turned Grace's phone over again. I had his number on the dial screen for two hours, and I was still thinking within myself, if I should just go ahead and call him, to try and explain to him again, make him understand what happened. What really happened.
To try to make him see that I wasn't taking advantage of him, because I wasn't. The whole school noticed. It was all over every group chat, and even on the school's website comment section. Everyone knew Jeremiah had been absent in school for two days, since what happened had happened, but the funny thing was, no one ever talked about me. They just talked about him. That was how life was, when no one literally cared about you.
I groaned to show my frustration. The back and forth was killing me, the voices in my head. I hated myself, and I wanted to hate myself even more at that moment, but I just didn't know how to hate myself more than I already did.
I was obsessed with looking into Grace's phone's screen to see if he had texted back. I had left him exactly a hundred and two messages since what happened, but he hadn't even bothered to read them. There were absolutely no blue ticks on his message app, and before you ask me how I was able to get his number, even though my phone was broken, blind and literally lying down lifeless behind me, I'd just say that I memorized it.
Yes I did.
And it wasn't because I had some kind of feelings for him, it was just because I crammed a lot of numbers. I literally knew everyone's number on my phone off heart. Don't worry, it's not anything to be proud of, because I only had six people saved on my contact list. There was my Mum, Luke, Jeremiah , Nanny Obianuju, Nanny Pamela; the head help in our house, and Grace's. like I said, I didn't really have a lot of friends, and yes, I didn't care about Racheal or Peter enough to want to save their numbers. I didn't care at all.
"Kora!"
I could hear Grace call my name again, as she moved closer to the bed. The door shut quietly behind her. I felt her warm hands hold on to my arm, trying to pull me to turn around.
"You need to get up, you can't lock yourself in here all day."
Nah, I could, and she was going to watch me do just that.
"It's really beautiful outside, and you still have to talk to your mum."
"Leave me alone." I pushed myself further into
the bed. I wasn't exactly in the mood to talk to anyone. I felt so horrible and extremely sad. "I don't want to talk to anyone." I groaned. "I just want to die."
I felt a hard slap on my arm that made me jump up from my bed.
"How many times have I told you never to use such words carelessly?" I turned quickly at the sound of my mother's voice. I wasn't really surprised. She was the only one that loved to hit me like that. I was surprised to see her though. What on earth was she doing here?
"What on earth are you doing here?" I rubbed my eyes, finally sitting, so I could see her properly. I turned to Grace, because I didn't remember inviting my mother over. That had to be her handwork.
"I'm sorry." Grace apologized. "I couldn't handle all this," she pointed at me, and my really untidy hair. "Alone. I needed help."
I placed a hand on my face and then exhaled. She really didn't have to do that.
"Grace?"
Mum and I had not talked in weeks. Not since I left the house the way I did the other day. I mean, she always called and texted to say she was sorry everyday, but I just didn't pick or reply any of her texts. I meant it when I said I was going to ignore her forever. for taking the sides of the man that separated me from the love of my life.
"I'm really sorry." Grace stood up from my bed. "You didn't leave me any choice."
"You should be happy she called me." My mum told me, just as Grace pulled a chair to her, so she could sit right across me. "Look at the mess you've made. Look at you."
She was late. I had done that all day yesterday.
"What on earth happened to your phone?" She noticed my broken phone on the center table. Please God, tell me she got me a new one. At least Grace must have asked her to.
"You're lucky your friend asked me to get you a new one, because you had spoilt this one. It's a good thing you got rid of this old model. I always wanted you to upgrade to one of the latest series, so I got you an upgrade. "
I rolled my eyes as I watched my mum drop a bag on the table. A phone was actually the last thing on my mind. I groaned. I heard her exhale.
"Come on, Kora. I already said I was sorry. How can you not forgive me? How can you not talk to me? I'm still your mother."
I sat up straight and stared at her. My current mood had nothing at all to do with her, and I hoped she realized that.
"I'm sorry baby." She leaned closer to me. "I've really missed not talking to you. It's really breaking my heart. You know you're my best friend. I can't keep living like this, living without you."
Now she was just teasing.
"What can I do to make you feel better?" She asked me, and then smiled. "I know what you want. I know what can really make you smile. I loaded your phone with over a hundred pictures this morning for you, with different outfits and poses for you know who." She whispered at me, probably so Grace wouldn't hear, and then winked.
Maybe she thought Grace had no idea about Jeremiah and I. I could hear Grace burst into a light chuckle, while I just stayed on my bed, staring at my really embarrassing mother.
"Really hot pics." She went on.
If she was talking about Jeremiah, I just couldn't wait to let her know that she was wasting her time.
"If you see them, I'm sure you'd commot cap for me. I really put in my all, changed outfits twice . Even applied make up."
I stared at my mum, wondering if she ever felt, even if it was at the slightest chance, embarrassed of her self, and embarrassed of herself for me? Like if she ever felt she was anything but a good example to me at anytime.
I mean, other mothers would have strongly advised against this, against what I did, against catfishing. Maybe if she had tried to stop me, and not support me, I wouldn't have been in so much mess. Maybe if she was just a normal parent for once- sigh. But that was the thing with my mum. She was not a normal parent. She wasn't even an adult when she had me, so I doubt she was ready for parenthood, and the past years didn't even help teach her.
Maybe it did a little bit. I mean I love my mum. I loved how she was different from all the other mothers out there, many African mothers. I loved how she was okay with the choices I made, and how she always supported me. How she had faith in the fact that she had raised me well, well enough to be responsible at least, and how she trusted me to make my own decisions, but sometimes, I wished she was just like the other mums. I wished she was a typical African mother.
"Oh my God" she gasped and then clapped her hands once. "That reminds me. I actually think you've caught a big fish, Kora. This guy you text," She paused. "I think he's from a very wealthy family. Some guy approached me the other day to ask me some questions about me, and how I knew him. I think he thought I was you. I didn't tell him anything, so you don't have to worry, but from the looks of things, I think he worked for a very rich family. Your friend's family. Plus now that I think of it, your friend looks really familiar, like I've seen him before."
"He's Jeremiah Ozor, Aunty." Grace cut her off, just as my mum turned to Grace. "The first son of Benjamin and Susan Ozor. Benoil and gas."
My mum gasped, before Grace could even finish her sentence. She looked so surprised.
"Really?" She asked covering her mouth. "The second son of Benjamin Ozor? The one that had always been abroad?"
Really? Did everyone in this country really know this guy besides me? Even mum?
"Oh my God. I can't believe this." She turned to me quickly. "Kora, can you believe this? I always knew something was different about him. Jesus Christ." She clapped her hands
She was lying. She didn't know anything.
"What are we going to do when he finds out we've been deceiving him?"
Was she really asking me that now?
"Ewo, we are in so much trouble, Kora. We have to get rid of him and all the evidence."
"There's no point." I leaned to the desk, and then pushed the phone back to her before she could say anything else. "He already knows who I am."
My Mum almost fell off her seat.
"I'm dead."
Look who was always warning me about making bad confessions.
She turned to Grace immediately
"Is it true?"
Grace confirmed it. She turned back to me
"Was he mad?"
I shook my head.
"No. He gave me a good kiss on my teeth and thanked me for deceiving him." My sarcasm just jumped out. What on earth was she expecting?
"Jesus Christ." She placed a hand on her head. Now the other part of her was jumping out. The part before we started living this kind of life. The commoner side of her. I was literally more embarrassed. I exhaled.
"You should have seen him, Aunty. He was so upset with Kora." Grace continued on my behalf. "I was actually really scared for her."
"Why are you here mum?" I cut Grace off, before she could say anything else. My mother turned to me. I knew she was dying to know more, but I didn't want to say anything bad or wrong about Jeremiah. At least not yet, and not to her, because I knew my mum, and I knew she'd rather die than watch anyone hurt me at all. She was overprotective of me.
"W-what do you mean why I'm here?" She asked me. "I'm here to see you. I heard you were sick."
"Well, I'm not sick." I told her "And parents are not allowed into the hostels."
"How can I pay one million every academic year for accommodation," She chuckled slightly "and you'd tell me that I'm not allowed to come inside to see my daughter? Are they mad?"
I rolled my eyes, just as my mum got up quickly, and then hurried to my bed. She sat down right beside me.
"Kora, I'm sorry for all the things I said the other day, I really want to make it up to you. Can't you forgive me?"
I looked at her. She was pouting now. Why was she pouting? It was so weird.
"Stop doing that." I told her
"Okay sorry." She released her lips, and then cleared her throat, cleaning her hands on her dress. I wasn't ready to forgive her, at least not yet. She knew that for a fact. She took a deep breath and then smiled.
"Have you two had lunch yet?" She sat up. "What do you have here, let me prepare something really quick, we could all fill our bellies with."
"We are not allowed to cook." Grace stopped her. "Everything we want to eat is at the cafeteria. Or we could just eat outside."
"Let's order some snacks then."
"I'm not hungry." I threw myself back into my bed, and then reached for Grace's phone again, but that didn't stop her. My mum found her way to the bathroom, while I just turned back to the phone, still focused on it's screen.
He had not texted back.
Not even a word.
Not a single text. I took a deep breath, and then I exhaled.