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a cliche in which she learns
to forgive him and accept
the way she feels
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gUYS im PISSED i reached the chapter limit for drafts and i cant create a new one so this is the last steve oneshot for this book :(
also it's really cliche but i like cliche
so DEAL WITH IT
idek what this is but it sucks
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You'd think that because you were a superhero faced with so many obstacles and difficulties that seemed to hinder you from achieving your goals, you could handle seeing someone close to you in pain.
You were horribly wrong.
It was a rather strenuous mission that left the entire team mentally and physically exhausted, but despite your body screaming at you to lie down and get some rest, you couldn't seem to fall asleep that night.
Steve was in critical condition for three days after you returned, and it was your fault. If you had been more careful and kept better watch over him, your mission partner, he wouldn't have ended up with a dagger tearing through his shoulder and leaving a deep gash running down nearly half the length of his arm, and a bullet to his side that hit almost dangerously close to a vital organ. If you hadn't been so careless and reckless, he wouldn't have felt the need to be so overprotective and jump in front of you to save your life.
Every time you tried to close your eyes, you saw the same images flash by in the dark; of Steve clutching a hand to his stomach as blood seeped through the fabric of his uniform, blood everywhere, the obvious look of pain etched onto his face.
You let out a heavy sigh, leaning against the cold railing as you stood atop the steel platform of the Avengers Tower, gazing out at the beautiful city lights and the skyscrapers that pierced the flaming orange sky like needles. The sun's rays crested over the tops of the buildings, giving every surface it touched a hazy glow, before sinking lower and lower and dipping completely beneath the horizon and enveloping the world in a blanket of navy blue, almost completely black, darkness.
It was peaceful, watching dusk fall over New York City in silence by yourself. Even if it only lasted for several minutes, you enjoyed it nonetheless, grateful that it was your one chance of escape from a chaotic life.
So you were surprised and froze in panic when you felt someone's hand on the small of your back all of a sudden. They pulled you back and whirled you around, causing your face to bury into their muscular chest.
Steve's.
You glanced up to see him looking down at you with a fearful look on his face; his face that was so close to yours, mere inches keeping your lips from meeting his. Very little distance remained between the two of you and this caused your heartbeat to pick up speed, and he just held you like that for a few more seconds; his arm tightly wound around your waist, your eyes simply locked onto each others', neither one of you being able to speak.
"Why?" you finally managed to croak out, reluctantly pulling away from his embrace. "Why did you have to do that? You could've died out there-"
"It wouldn't be right for me to simply stand by and not do anything," he replied simply, "if risking my life means you would live, then I'm willing to take that chance, and that's what I did. It's simply a matter of chance that I'm standing here right now."
"And if you didn't survive?"
"Then at least I would go down knowing I did everything to save the woman I love."
The calmness in his tone was eating away at your bitterness and it annoyed you just as much as it made you feel guilty. If it wasn't for the fact that you were so upset, you would feel your heart warm at his words. You mentally cursed at yourself for feeling your breath catch in your throat and your cheeks heating up.
"What do you even want?" you sighed tiredly, running a hand through your hair.
"I wanted to check up on you-"
"Check up on me? You're the one who almost died out there," you clenched your jaw angrily, gritting your teeth. "I admit it. I messed up and now I'm paying the price for it. Is that what you want? To remind me that I was stupid and that I almost got you killed? Is that it? Are you happy now?"
You could feel the hot sting of tears at the corners of your eyes but you refused to cry in front of him, deciding to take your anger out on him instead. You were too busy thinking and to overwhelmed by your frustration to realize that he was holding your hand in his ever so gently, his fingers just barely brushing against your own and frankly, it scared you. It scared you because it gave you a feeling of what could only be described as falling for him, hard, and that was the last thing you planned on doing.
You didn't want this to happen; you knew you weren't supposed to feel this way about someone you'd been working alongside for years. Especially not in a situation such as the one you were currently in.
"But this doesn't mean you get to put your life on the line for something I did wrong! It should've been me, Steve, it should've been me," your voice broke and you choked on a sob, "I'm someone who didn't die when they were supposed to-"
"No, you don't," he said in a stern tone. "Don't you dare tell me that, because I didn't save you just to hear you talk about how you wished you were dead. You just don't realize it, do you?"
"I-"
"I care about you, dammit!" he half-shouted as he balled his hands into fists by his sides, and you flinched when he raised his voice. "If I had really lost you out there, I don't know what I'd do, because I lov-"
"Steve...you don't understand, I really should've been the one to have taken those bullets, it should've been me. I don't deserve to be alive right now. I deserve to die because I almost cost you your life-"
You're quickly cut off by the super-soldier leaning down and swiftly pressing his lips to yours, effectively silencing the rest of what you were about to say.
You felt your chest ache as you let yourself lean into him, your arms wrapping firmly around his torso as his hands pressed against the small of your back and behind your head to pull you closer. You don't know whether you should feel happy or upset at this because he's so willing to move on from what you'd done, and also that he's so easily willing to forgive you. But you don't question his sudden actions, and instead when he pulls away to gaze at you for a second you tug him back towards you by the hem of his T-shirt to press your lips to his a second time.
You let out a shaky breath as you broke apart again, pressing your forehead against his shoulder as his arms carefully circled around your waist.
You don't need to say out loud that his company is all you needed at the moment, and as if he can read your mind, he tightens his grip around you and presses a kiss to your hair, gently swaying you from side to side.
"As much as I'd like to hate you for what you did," your voice was muffled by his T-shirt, "I can't. You saved my life and there's nothing you could do to make me love you any less than I do now."
"Wow, the badass Y/N has feelings," he joked.
You cracked a small grin and hastily wiped the remaining tears from your face. "Language."
"You're shivering," Steve said softly as he took off his thick leather jacket and draped it around your shoulders, "how about we head back inside."
"You plan on keeping me up all night, Rogers?" you cocked an eyebrow, giving him a look.
"Those aren't exactly the words I'd use," he replied, putting an arm around you and leading you back inside.
"Guess the drugs did take a toll on your personality, huh," you jokingly whacked his forearm. "Who knew you were so confident."
"You act just like Stark. Now I know where that unquenchable desire to be better than everyone comes from."
"Shut up. It definitely isn't like you don't throw a giant fit whenever Clint beats you in Call of Duty and threaten to impale him with your shield."
"Lady Y/N, are you alright?" Thor looked genuinely concerned as you and Steve made your way to the lounge together, with his jacket still on you. "Did Lord Steve crush what little bits remained of your hopes and dreams?"
"No, Thor, they obviously did some baby-making out there," Tony rolled his eyes and snorted. Steve's face flushed a deep red and you awkwardly took a few steps away from him.