I THINK I COULD TOLERATE the idea that the reason Stanley and I didn't get along was because he didn't seem to work well with the human race in general.
But the fact that he was capable with interacting with mankind sithout them wanting the jump in front of the nearest car, only told me one thing: He just had a problem with me.
It made me feel even worse that it wasn't because of things like my stutter, no it was my personality that he had a problem with.
I sat nervously in my living room, staring at the clock, tapping my fingers on the arm of the sofa. Counting down the minutes until I had to see Stanley again for a date like I was in a horror movie. Which I might as well be.
Bird watching, fucking bird watching. At 8pm? Well yes it was still light outside, but that didn't mean there would still be birds out. Maybe this was all some sort of joke. Like this was what Stanley liked to do for fun, play pranks on people.
As soon as the thin, black hand rolled ontop of the hour the doorbell rang, instanly making me jump. That was something else I had noticed about Stanley: he seemed to always be a perfect. At being on time, being neat and being tidy.
It was something which I despised because well, it seemed so fake. I hated 'perfect' people, I always felt like they needed flaws or a hobby instead of just being a 2D image of being a perfectionist. It was too boring to me.
I groaned as I walked down the hallway and opened the door. Stanley stood there with a bored expression on his face as if there was a thousand other things he could be doing instead now and to be honest so could I.
"You're looking pretty happy" Stanley said sarcastically and I rolles my eyes.
"C-could say the s-ame about y-you" I said and he smirked.
"Well nothing makes me joyful as being forced to spend time with my partner for life, given to me by the government" He said with a fake grin and I rolled my eyes, again.
We continued to walk in silence until we got to a certain spot in a forest clearing, we're I guess you were able to bird watch. Or you know prank me, still wasn't too sure yet.
But when Stanley put down his bag, taking out several books on birds, binoculars and a notebook, it was officially confirmed that he was a bird nerd.
Uh, even his flaws are so fucking boring.
I spent the next hour, hour! laying on the grass, doodling as Stanley was occupied with staring at birds...just living their life and recording what he saw in notebook, which I was tempted to steal for some reason.
"Can w-we go n-now?" I asked for about the millionth time which caused him to be even more irritated with me.
"No, Bill we can't go yet" He said.
"B-but I'm bored" I whined, rolling onto my back.
He sighed heavily "That's because you haven't even tried to look at any birds" He said.
"T-they're boring" I argued and he rolled his eyes, walking over to me.
"You don't know that for a fact" He said leaning over me, I titled my head to the side before granbes me by the arms and dragged me to my feet.
"N-No, S-Stanley" I protested as he passed me the binoculars and pushed me over to the spot we're he was standing a minute ago.
I gave in and looked through the lenses, looking around me quickly "I c-can't find a-anything" I heard him sigh loudly as I dropped the binoculars.
"That's because you are looking at the grass" He said behind me, reaching his arm around me to tilt the binculars upward, to the top of the trees.
My fell shallow for a second and I gulped as he wrapped his arms around my waist amd rested his head on my shoulder. "We have company" He whisped in my ear, sending a burning shiver down my spine.
My gaze flickered to the side and in the distance I could see he was right. Two people, sitting there with a clipboard and pen. I wasn't suprised to be honest, they were keeping an eye on us...making sure we were enjoying our boring ass date.
He pecked my neck lightly and I dropped my binculars onto the floor as my skin burned with a molten fibre. He took a step back amd spun me around to face him, his grip on my waist puling me closer towards him.
I was confused at first, what the fuck was he doing? Why were we so close? Was there something behind me? Was there something on my face?
He lowered his head, drifting down to my height, tilting his head to the side, stealing every breath from my lungs. That's when it hit me.
Litterally, due to the shock of the realization of what the fuck was happening, I quickly moved my head, head butting him in the process. The impact caused him to jump back, his hand carassing his head.
"Bill what the hell?" He mumbled and I just blinked at him, trying to catch my breath.
Me? He's the one who tried to kiss me.
I looked back at the watchers in the distance and groaned. I wrapped my arms around Stanley hugging him awkwardly.
"What the hell was that?" He whispered.
"Y-you tried to k-iss me" I said and he rolled his eyes.
"Of course Nancy Drew, we're being watched" He hissed.
"D-don't do t-hat" I warned and he sighed, clearly frustrated.
"Why not? I don't want to be exiled" He said.
"B-because I don't w-want to kiss s-someone who d-doesn't l-love me" I said simply and he rolled his eyes, placing his hands on his hips.
"Bill, I'm your soulmate, sadly. You won't be allowed to kiss anyone else...ever" He said and I nodded.
"I k-know" I said, looking at the floor.
After another half an hour of silence, as you know, it was impossible to have a conversatiom with this kid, Stanley finally decided to call it a night "I guess we should get going" He said packing away his books in his bag. "It's dark"
"Thank f-fuuuu, f-flip" I said, pushing myself up from the floor, where I had been doodling again.
Stanley rolled his eyes "See you around Bill" He said waving before dissapearing into the night.
"B-bye" I muttered beneath my breath evem though he was long gone.
This was going to be a long life.
ᴬ ᶠᵉʷ ⁿⁱᵍʰᵗᵐᵃʳᵉˢ ˡᵃᵗᵉʳ...
I felt even worse the next morning then I did for the morning of the selection. It was going to be the first time facing school with Stanley, AKA the demon soulmate.
Richie was in a better mood that I was, which was good I guess. "So me and Eddie went to watch a movie and then went to the arcade. I'm so glad it was a horror, he got a bit scared so I got to cuddle with him the entire time. He is the most adorable being in the fucking planet!" Richie rambled on forever, gushing about Eddie.
I smiled, admiring the way his eyes lit up when he talked about the small boy and deep down, I wish someone could possibly love me like that.
"What about you Billiam? How was your date with Staniel?" Richie asked instanly causing me to frown.
"S-shit" I said and his grin fell "W-we went f-fucking bird watching!" I added and he laughed. "It's n-not funny! Now I-I think the W-Watchers are s-supicious"
"What, why?" Richie asked as he finally calmed down.
"B-because he tried to k-kiss m-me, and I m-may of f-freaked out" I said and he started laughing again
"Big Bill you're insane you know that?" Richie laughed and I rolled my eyes.
"I k-know" I mumbled "W-what am I g-going to do R-Richie? H-he's horrible to m-me"
Richie's smile fell and he wrapped his arms around my shoulder. "People are usually mean for a reason Bill, maybe there is something wrong at home. Maybe this is one of those dodgey books with toxic relationships, maybe you just need to find out" He said and I gave him a fake smile.
"I-I guess so" I lied. Richie continued to to talk about Eddie throughout the whole day, which I listened to happily, wishing that I could love someone like that.
By the time it was lunchtime, I realized I was a third wheel, to the power of three. Ben rested his head on Beverly's lap, who was braiding the slightly longer strands of his hair, whereas Eddie was sitting on Richie's lap, comolaining about almost everything Richie said, but Richie would only laugh and place a small kiss on his cheek or neck.
I kind of wished that Mike was here, but then thought better of it. As I realized he would just be doing the same. It made me feel sick, because even Greta was sitting with her soulmate. Sure he looked miserable but that was beyond the point.
"Bill" Bev said and I looked up from staring at my food immensly, hoping it would make me look normal. "Where's Stanley?" She asked and I shrugged my shoulders, I hadn't texted him since our date or at all for that matter and neither of us had talked to one another.
"Bill, I know things aren't going well" She lowered her voice "But for your own sake you probably should find him, it looks a bit suspicious if you aren't sitting with each other" Her eyes gestured to the two Watchers in the corner of the canteen and I nodded.
"I-I'll look for h-him"I mumbled and she reached over and squeezed my hand under the table.
If the canteen made me feel bad, the corridors were a lot worse. Couples being all lovey-dovey against the wall, I just hoped more than anything that it would remain PG.
Eventually I found Satan, underneath the bleachers, listening to music. I took a deep breath and walked over to him, sitting a safe distance apart from him.
I waved my hand in front of his face to get his attention and he took his headphones off. "What do you want?" He asked, suprised I was here by my own accord.
"W-watchers are s-uspicious" I said and he sighed heavily. I took out my notebook and began doodling again. "W-what are you l-listening to?"
"This doesn't mean we have to talk to each other does it?" He asked and I glared at him. "Fine, you wouldn't like it"
"T-Try me" I said and he hesistated for a moment before placing the headphones over my head.
The moonlit wings reflect the stars that guide me towards salvation
I stopped an old man along the way
Toto, of course he was the kind of person to listen to shit music from the 80's. I tried to address this in a scowl and he rolled his eyes and tried to take them back, but I held on to them tightly.
Maybe I was enjoying this Toto song.
It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you
There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do.
The music actually helped me with Stanley's whole pressence, calming me down a little bit. The lines and swirled seems to congregate independatly, the only control I had was when my head tilted up to check what Stanley was doing as I had stolen his headphones.
When the song finished I reluctantly fave him his headphones back and continued doodling in silence.
Only then did I realise that I had been doodling him the entire time. I almost ripped out the page in horror, almost.
But I didn't want him to know, obviously so I just turned to page, doodling again. This time when I looked up I saw the Watchers, walling around and well...watching everyone.
I sat up and shuffled over to Stanley, resting my head on his shoulder as it was something that I had seen Bev do the Ben.
His whole body tensed as I did so, and I gestured to the watchers in the distance and he nodded. My eye lids grew heavier as I did so, I could see why Bev did this so much, it was comfortable.
"Hey Bill, they've gone" He whispered and I nodded, still nit moving. "Bill" He shook me.
"I-It's comfy" I said and I could feel him roll his eyes. I was so tired, mainly because I had spent most of last night crying about all of this shit.
"Fine" He muttered and I smiled, giving in and resting my eyes. I must of fallen asleep at some point because the next thing I knew I was being shaken awake by Ben, who had found me asleep under the bleachers.
Stnaley must of ditched me long ago, embarassed I sat up and I walked to class with Ben, confused more than anything. Cursing myself for being so unloveable.
This was going to be an even longer life.