Seonghwa's pov :
I waited for a long time outside the timber door. The room was silent. Probably he still didn't want to meet me. But I waited patiently.
I heard footsteps approaching from the room and slowly the door opened revealing a tired Yeosang. His eyes were red. He looked like he just freshened up but I could clearly see how much he must've cried.
All this felt like Deja Vu to me.
His face was tired, hair messy. Still he managed to give a weak smile.
Atleast he calmed down. I said to myself releasing a sigh.
"Come on in" he mumbled closing the door behind me.
I looked at the room. Unlike his usually clean and well organized room, it was super messy. I Frowned. Finally finding a vacant space on the desk, I kept the tray of breakfast and juice.
"Umm... So what did you want to talk about" he asked looking at the floor.
"Eat your breakfast first" I ordered.
"Later" he remained persistent.
I sighed. He's so adamant sometimes.
Knowing that he won't eat until I talk to him, I decided to tell him everything.
He went and sat on his bed. I followed him and sat opposite to him.
He still didn't make any eye contact with me. His head was hung low.
I took a deep breath.
"Look Yeosang, I'm - I'm really sorry for hurting you last night. Now that I think about it, it came out pretty rude and sudden. I didn't even think about how you will feel. I'm really ashamed of myself." I apologized and waited for a response.
He didn't say anything. Without even looking up, he just nodded.
"What is that supposed to mean Sangie...? Did you forgive me or not?" I spoke again.
He let out a small "Yes" and looked away. He was hurt. I felt bad. I wanted to hug him tight and never let him go. But that was not the reason I was here for. I wanted to tell him about the problems and reasons why I said no to him in the first place. So I restrained myself.
An awkward silence filled the air. Neither of us was saying anything. Breaking the silence, I finally spoke.
"Yeosang... Umm, actually I wanted to talk about... Well you see, my parents are very strict and close minded. They will never let me date uh someone of the same gender... You - You're getting it right? I don't really have any choice as I love my family too." I stopped. He was staring at me in the eye. His messy hair almost covered his forehead and eyes but I could see tears welling up in them.
I could feel that even I was beginning to tear up. We both needed each other so badly. I looked away from his staring eyes. I will never forgive myself. I will never forget this boy.
"I understand." were the only two words he spoke. He fell silent again leaning his head on the wall,as if he was thinking something. My head was low looking at the sheets underneath me. I can never face him ever again.
"Seonghwa, I totally understand what you're going through and why you did that. So I guess let's just forget everything we had since we met.... Especially yesterday night and today's conversation and start over from tomorrow. A new beginning." he spoke in one go. A small smile plastered on his face which was painful to look at. It was fake obviously. But he was right. We couldn't just 'not talk' to each other forever. Starting over seemed like a good idea.
"Are you sure? Won't it be awkward?" I asked. I lowkey wanted him to say 'Yes, it'll be super awkward' so that I could just disappear and would never ever see him again. But to my disappointment, he said it won't be awkward for him and we'll get used to it.
I cursed under my breath. I wanted to stay away from him. Being so close to the man I love but still not being able to love him was painful. Even the thought of it made me shiver. But he was persistent. Denying him one more time was the last thing in wanted to do. So I just nodded.
Sigh.
He looked at me for a while and tilted his head. I was staring at him for one last time. He looked beautiful even in that state of his. His brownish hair was almost covering his eyes. Involuntarily I moved his hair to reveal his forehead and honey colored eyes. He was shocked at such a gesture and smiled. His tender, pink lips tucked the side of his cheeks. This smile is not the fake one, I instantly realized.
I was just lost in that moment of appreciating how beautiful he is when he suddenly spoke.
"Uh-Erm... Seonghwa... Before we start acting like normal friends from tomorrow, I just wanted to do something. Can I?" he asked, twiddling his fingers. There was a blush on his cheeks.
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A/N :
Oof, the end of the story is near :)