Jane's P.O.V
"I'll tell you," I said to Liam and he signed.
"Louis was our younger brother. He loved to hang out with my sister and me. He wanted nothing more than to be around us. He was smart, funny, and so adorable. At such a young age, he loved to fix things. He recorded everything he saw with the camera our mom bought him. My sister was already in high school. She was fifteen then, I was thirteen, and Louis was nine years old. Louis and I attended the same elementary school. On a Wednesday, August 12, 2003, a few days before Louis's 10th birthday. I remember that day like it happened yesterday. It was after school, and one of my friends wanted me to follow her to talk to a boy she liked. So I told Louis to wait for me in the playground because I didn't want him in our business, so I asked him to stay and he did. He did." I paused for a moment. I let out a couple of deep breaths.
"After she was done talking to the boy, she left through the main entrance of the school, so I went back to the playground to take Louis home. When I got there... I... I saw Louis... laying on the floor... in a pool of blood," I stopped to close my eyes. I gripped the bed, hoping it could soak in some of the pain. I opened my eyes again when I was ready.
"I rushed to him, and I tried to wake him up, screaming his name. I saw all the cuts. He was stabbed not just once not twice but a lot. I was in shock I didn't know what to do or who to call, the playground was far from the school building, and there was no one in the playground. I screamed for help, but no one heard me. Liam, I screamed till my voice was gone. No one came, not until some minutes later, one of my teachers saw me and ran towards me. He called the cops and my family. The next thing I knew, the police and ambulance came and took Louis, and I followed them," I tried to control my breath by taking a moment to focus on my breathing.
"My mom, sister, and grandparents got to the hospital as fast as they could. They asked me what happened, but I couldn't talk. I tried to, but I couldn't, Liam. I couldn't move my mouth. The doctor walked towards us and announced he was dead. When I heard that something just went off in me. I can't explain it. It was like my world collapsed, I just blanked out. I blamed myself for his death every day. Everyone asked me what exactly happened. I tried to talk but I couldn't. I couldn't form any words. I could have saved him, Liam. I could have saved him," I had to stop.
Liam placed his hand on my back and started caressing.
"It's not your fault, Jane." He said, consoling me. I couldn't look at him. I didn't want to see the pity on his face.
"It's okay if you want to stop," He said in a worried tone.
"The police did their investigation, and they arrested the man behind it. He kept claiming he was mentally unstable. They got the evidence to charge him. He confessed but kept saying Louis was just a target of opportunity. How can someone be so cruel to such an innocent boy?" I shook my head. It still baffles me.
"I can't stop blaming myself. I told him to stay there. His birthday was the next day. He wasn't even ten yet. How could I do that to him? He was my responsibility, and I just left him there. I remember my mom's health deteriorated, especially her mental health. She was so shocked about his death. I remember hearing my sister cry every day because of Louis, and because I couldn't talk. I became mute. I was taken to the hospital, but the doctor said it was trauma. Everyone was affected by the incident. My family was never the same again," I closed my eyes and kept quiet for a minute.
"Mom was admitted to the hospital. We had to live with our grandparents. Things I wanted to say, I wrote them down on a piece of paper and gave it to whoever I wanted to talk to. Two months later my mom was discharged, and we moved home. Every day my mom and my sister would beg me to talk, but I just couldn't talk for another three months. On a Sunday morning, I woke up screaming Louis' name. I remember my mom and my sister rushing into my room. I called out their names when I saw them. It was like a miracle to them. I had to start learning how to pronounce some words again, but within a few months, I was finally able to have conversations," Liam offered me another tissue.
"Everything was sort of normal again. We tried to continue our lives until my father appeared in London, and decided to take me away from my mom and my sister. He believed I needed to change my environment. At first, my mom fought it, but she later changed her mind. She thought it was for the best. My sister and I were born in the United States only Louis wasn't, so she felt more comfortable letting me go there. She sat me down and to me, she trusted my dad to take care of me. He has the money and power. My dad decided to take me to Chicago with him. At the age of sixteen, my dad took me away and I started living with him, my stepmother, and my stepsister," I decided to stop there for now. I wasn't ready to tell him everything.
Liam took my hand in his.
"I still find it so hard to let go. I remember him every day. Knowing how smart Louis was, I knew he would have grown up to be successful and he would have worked in the IT field. That's why I studied hard, and I tried to accomplish his dream by becoming an expert at my job," I explained.
"One thing I want you to know for sure is that it wasn't your fault, Jane. So stop blaming yourself. And I can tell that's not all, but you need to get some sleep. It has been a long day," He said removing the hair falling on my face and tucked it behind my ear. "Thanks a lot for today," I managed to smile at him.
"You're welcome, good night" He tucked me in and left my room. I let out a deep breath and slept off.
I woke up with a serious headache, I got out of bed and took a shower. After dressing up, I walked into the kitchen, and I saw everyone in the kitchen including Liam and John.
"Good morning," I said gaining their attention. They all replied at once. We all ate breakfast together.
After breakfast, Liam and I decided to take a walk.
"Liam, can I get some days off? I need to stay with my family for at least a week. I know it's short notice, but I need this," I asked in a hopeful tone.
"Yeah sure, I understand. You can come back to work next Monday. I should be on my way back home, thousands of people are counting on me. I need to get back to work," He said.
I appreciate his kindness. I never knew he was this nice. I guess I'm really lucky I have a boss who I can consider a friend.
"Thanks a lot, I will be back on Sunday. I just need to settle things with my sister and spend some time with my family," I explained.
"You're welcome, take care of yourself. We'll be expecting you soon," He said, hugging me.
After they left, I told my mom to take me to my sister's house and she did.
We got to a very beautiful house. The foyer is huge and beautiful with lots of expensive decorations and paintings.
A cute little girl ran into my mom's arms "Grandma!" She giggled. She looks more beautiful than in the picture my mom sent to me.
Mom sent her baby picture to me years ago. I believe she's three years old now. She looks just like Julie.
"Ms. Rosy, good to see you again. I'm sorry I couldn't make it yesterday. I was so busy at the firm. I had a case at hand. I couldn't escape." A tall handsome man with a deep voice said, walking towards us. "I understand Ryan. It was unexpected," He smiled at Mom and turned to face me.
"You must be Jane," He said and I nodded. "It's nice to finally meet you in person. I'm Ryan your sister's husband," He said with a smile.
I know that. I might not have attended their wedding, but I saw pictures and videos.
I can't believe I missed my own sister's wedding. I feel so ashamed. I wasn't there when she gave birth to this beautiful girl either. I guess that's why she is mad at me, and I don't blame her.
"It's nice to meet you too sir," I finally answered with a smile. "Please call me Ryan. Julie will be with us in a minute. She's taking care of Ryder. Mia, go and let your mom know that grandma is here," He said, and the little girl skipped upstairs.
Who is Ryder?
I can't believe my sister named her daughter after me. I must be the worst sister ever.
I saw Julie walk downstairs with a baby boy in her arms. Oh! That must be Ryder. I never asked what the name of the baby was, I'm seriously horrible.
Julie's smiling face turned cold when she saw me.
My mom took sleeping Ryder from her and mom headed upstairs.
"Mia come with Daddy. Let's leave Mom and Aunt to talk alone. Let's go get some ice cream?" She grinned at the sound of ice cream and followed her father.
I didn't miss the warning look he gave his wife before he walked away closing the door behind him.
"I thought you left with your boss this morning. What are you still doing here?" She asked coldly. I let out a deep breath knowing I deserved all the coldness. "I came here to talk to you. Julie, I know there's no excuse for neglecting everybody, but I'm sorry," I said in a brittle voice.
"Do you have any idea how lonely it was for Mom and me? I lost a brother, she lost a child. My sister who was also my best friend was taken away, another child was taken away from her. I was left to deal with everything else. I was left to take care of our mother whenever she felt like giving up. It was like we lost you too. She might have agreed to let you go, but it doesn't mean the decision was easy for her. She was not okay. I had to pick a college close to home because I was too scared to leave Mom alone. She fell into depression again. It was horrible," She said in a friable voice.
"I'm sorry. Many things happened when our father took me away. I just didn't want you guys to worry about me. I only lived with Dad for six months. His wife watched all my steps. She and her daughter threatened me, and they despised me. They even burnt all our childhood pictures, I had with me. The pictures I had left of Louis, everything. I don't know why, but they saw me as a threat to them. I became her daughter's maid. She blamed any bad thing she did on me and I got punished. It went on for six months. Dad was always busy he didn't even notice. So, after graduating high school, Dad went on a month-long business trip to Australia. His wife saw it as an opportunity to throw me out of the house." I paused.
Julie sat down, staring with a look of disbelief in her eyes.
"With nowhere to go. I slept behind a dumpster in the street. I thought I was gonna lose my life that night. When mom called I couldn't tell her because I thought it was temporary, so I lied to her and told her everything was fine. The friend I met in high school, Arie, invited me to her house. Luckily, her parents were nice enough to let me stay. I waited, hoping Dad would come get new. No one looked for me not even Dad. I called Dad's younger sister, who lives in Sans Francisco. I asked her for help. I told her about my scholarships, and she helped me with the little money I needed to move to college. I was done waiting for Dad, so I decided to cut him out of my life. I got his sister to help me out and promised not to tell Dad about me if he asked. I got into college, and I started working two jobs to support myself. I didn't want you guys to worry about me that's why I didn't tell you. Mom doesn't even know about it, and I don't think I want her to know. I still haven't seen Dad or heard from him. I only hear about his business and his successes from people. It wasn't ignoring you, I just had to get my life together. I had to stay focused. I wanted mom to have a peace of mind. Please forgive me. I didn't mean to ignore anyone." I burst into tears.
Before I knew it my sister pulled me into a hug, crying. We heard the door open.
"Jane, why didn't you tell me all this?" My mom cried out angrily.
"You heard everything I said?" I asked. "Of course, I heard. Jane, I didn't mean to let you down. I trusted your father. I should have sensed something was off. All he told me was that you guys didn't get along. I didn't want to push the conversation every time I spoke with you." She said crying.
"No Mom, you didn't do anything wrong. I'm so sorry, I'm such a horrible daughter. I didn't tell you," I said wiping my tears away.
"I should have visited! I'm your mother, I shouldn't have left you alone." Mom cried.
"Jane, I'm sorry. I didn't know you went through all that. I'm sorry, I was just so mad at you because I missed you. I didn't mean all those words I said yesterday," She cried.
"I'm sorry sissy." We hugged each other and cried.
After crying and hugging each other for God knows how long, we decided to talk about something else.
"Let me take you around the house. I'll tell you about everything you missed," She said cheerfully and I nodded.
She showed me everywhere around her home and told me how she met Ryan, her wedding, and when she gave birth to Mia and Ryder.
I told her about my bad breakup with Luke, about my friends, and about everything that happened between Liam and me. We cried and laughed. We spent the day bonding again. I'm glad I insisted on seeing her. I missed her more with every conversation we had.
Mia is a very cute and bright little girl. She followed me everywhere I went. Ryder is so adorable, he has a very cute smile that can light up your day. I didn't want the day to end.
I wasn't able to visit Louis's grave, it was too hard for me. I don't think I have the right to be there, because I don't deserve his forgiveness.
I spent my time off with my family. I haven't felt this happy in years. It felt so good to have them back in my life again. We laughed together, ate together, and talked about the old times. Those five days were the best.
Even though I had lots of fun I can't deny the fact that I did miss Liam. He called me on the phone once in a while to check up on me.
I also visited Aiden and his family. I told him I was leaving soon, and he made sure I spent a whole day with him.
It's finally time for me to go back to America. As much as I didn't want to leave again, I knew I had to. I have another life in America.
All of my family followed me to the airport, and my sister promised to visit me in New York. I cried again because I was going to miss them so much.
I looked back and waved at them again before I checked in. They waved back and smiled.
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