Cali Serenity.
I worked on my Entrepreneurship homework as I bobbed my head to the sound of Keri Hilson's "Pretty girl rock" that blared through my headphones.
I and Kross have been seeing each other but I haven't placed a title back on our relationship and I think it's starting to get to Kross.
That's how I wanted it
We've been having better chemistry, better sex, and just an overall better relationship with out the title as I would like to call it.
Kross still be hustling in the streets, doing hood antics with the homies, but he seemed to have his son more than usual, which cuts into the wild sex that we've been having but its fine.
That has allowed me to pick up a volunteer job tutoring kids in reading during after-school hours.
I decided that I needed something on my resume that my guidance counselor was constructing for me.
She made a valid point that I need to show colleges that I am involved in the community next to my outstanding grades.
Besides homework, I needed something to keep me busy when I got out of school.
Sitting around smoking weed and shopping wasn't the most productive, especially since my dad caught me smoking a J in the back yard.
He didn't even buck on the fact that I was smoking, just the fact that I went in his stash and didn't ask.
Mom and dad have been so involved in Bryson and Kayden about to graduate and alongside my Uncle Cube and Auntie Cynthia that they've barely had time to sit around the house and have much family time.
Anyway, I finished my last sentence and closed my binder before slipping it into my tory Burch bag and heading into the living room.
Vrr...Vrr...
I looked down at my phone in my hand to see Kross's name flash across my screen.
Kross (4:51 PM): Come outside.
What the fuck is he up too? I thought as I tossed my bag into the chair and made my way to the door, opening it to reveal him standing there in his Mariner's hat, a white Polo button-up shirt and blue Jeans with a fresh pair of Air Force 1's.
His long braids cascaded on his shoulders as he stared down at me, eyes red and glassy from smoking a fat L.
He looked me up and down.
"You look nice" he complimented, eyeing my body.
"This ain't the first time you saw me in this raggedy uniform," I said as I held the door open for him to walk inside.
"I know but I always like that tennis skirt thang that shows yo legs and shit. Make a nigga feel a way" Kross said, walking past me into the house.
I huffed as I closed the house door, following Kross into the living room where he plopped down on the couch and taking his hat off, revealing his fresh Zig-Zag braids.
"What you fuccin wit beloved?" he asked me, licking his lips. " I need to talk to you"
"So you couldn't call like most people?" I questioned, sitting down in my dad's chair.
"Nah, I needed to talk to you face to face"
The room fell silent, besides the sounds of Spongebob coming from the TV. I looked around and stared back at Kross.
"Sooo...." I started. "You gonna say what you have to say?"
"So what we doin?" he straightforwardly asked.
I jolted my head back, examining Kross's eyes and with no avail...as usual, I found nothing.... Well, more so because he was straight-faced and staring at me.
Unemotional. Blank. Pokerface.
"What you mean what we doing?"
"Like is you my girl or what?" I could tell by the look on his face he was sincerely troubled as if it upset him that I wasn't going so exclusive with him again.
"Where is this coming from?" I pried more, crossing my legs and smiling. "Is it bothering you that I'm not running around saying Kay is my boyfriend or something?"
"Damn right" He piped up, shaking his head.
I was taken aback about how honest he was. This guy is one that doesn't show his feelings or emotions, so sis was not ready for this.
"I ain't think it was a big deal to you.... seeing that you had me and we was exclusive but that ain't stop you from doin yo thang" I stated, rolling my eyes.
"Look I can't go back and change that shit, I know I fucked up and I deserved anything you thought about doing to me, but look Cali I'm serious bout you now"
"OH!" I yelled. "Now niggas is serious... I guess you spending ya money and eatin my pussy with no title was getting to you huh?" I sucked my teeth.
"Chill out cuh, I know I eat yo pussy just like you suck my dick... you say all lat to say what?" Kross raised his voice, looking me square in the eye.
I said all that to say nothing. I look dumb because I thought I was really saying something
"Kross, I don't know If I even want to give you another chance. Yeah we fuck around and shit but you cheated a lot on me...and a lot of issues came along with yo ass. How can I even trust you again?"
I stood up, eyebrows crumbled and mad as hell. I shook my head as I exhaled, placing my hands on my hips as Kross snickered and shook his head in disbelief.
"What you looking like that for?!" I screamed. "You lookin like you the one who got played in this thang we got"
"You don't trust a nigga to be with you again but you trust me enough to let me still hit that shit wit no glove on. That's ass backwards as a muthafucka" Kross stated, standing up.
"So the fuck what!" I shouted. That don't change you from being trifling as shit to me Kross" I argued back, stepping my small frame up to his tall one.
"Look Beloved..." he groaned. "A nigga aint tryna argue. I just wanna know if you really fuckin with me"
"I should be asking you that. You claimed you did, made me your girl and still made me look like a clown. Can you be faithful Kross?" I bluntly asked, staring him into his eyes.
Kross stared back at me and grabbed my hands. I felt his hands caress mines as he nodded his head.
"Yeah, I can"
I squinted. "How do I know that for sure?"
"You gotta trust me"
"TUH!"
"The shit aint gonna work if you don't trust me Cali, that's on hood"
I knew that I was taking a risk on taking him back but I guess you could say we are in a relationship.
I sighed as I licked my lips, contemplating if I really wanted to give this another shot.
"Aight" I mumbled.
"Aight den" Kross replied back.
He leaned down and pecked me on the lips before hugging me tightly. I inhaled his intoxicating cologne as I melted in his arms like I always did.
I'm Kross's girl, again.
2 Months later.
"This cannot be fucking happening,"I said out loud as a flood of tears formed in the rim of my eyes.
I closed my eyes, feeling my body become weaker as I leaned on the cold green and white wall of the bathroom stall I was in.
It was fourth period, Ms. Xera's Entrepreneur class and I wasn't feeling the best. I had splatters of Panera Bread's Passion Papaya Green Tea that I had for breakfast with a Nova Lox bagel on my white uniform shirt.
I'll be damned if I stay at school with this shit on me like a toddler. I had to leave school, but I know my mom would catch a bitch fit if I asked her to come get me.
I had no choice because my daddy gonna' be in business meetings all day and I know my brother isn't gonna leave school to come all the way up here to get me and then bring me back to Baldwin Hills.
Shit!
I coughed as I already knew what the fuck was up with me and I had no way to deny it. Pulling my iPhone out, I pressed the facetime button waiting for an answer.
After four rings, the video call connected and my mother pretty round face appeared in the camera.
"What Cali?" she asked.
"Mommy" I whined. " I don't feel good"
"What's ya problem?"
I could hear a bunch of commotion in the background of hairdryers going off,
laughter and the sounds of Lauryn Hill's Ex-Factor playing softly in the background.
I knew she was at work, hopefully not working on a client's head so she can swing to come get me.
"Shay...when yo next appointment?" I heard a voice shout in the background.
"At 1:30" my mom said, turning around to acknowledge the person she was talking to.
"What's wrong with you Cali?"
Mommy focused her attention back on me.
"My stomach is really hurting me and I threw up"
I moved the camera down so she could see the evidence of this morning's activities. My mother squinted her eyes as she pressed her nude matte lips together.
"I'll be there in 20 minutes. Go sit in the main office" she said before disconnecting the call.
Thank god, I thought as I placed my phone in my shirt pocket and opening the bathroom stall.
I walked over to the bathroom mirror, using my hands to smooth up my already laid ponytail before staring at myself. My almond-shaped, bright brown eyes were red as hell as my lips trembled.
I leaned on the bathroom vanity to keep myself from crumbling to the floor. I had to get myself together before going back to class and getting my books and things before heading to the main office.
I just don't want to hear my momma mouth bout nun and I don't want her questioning me about shit.
----
"So you throwing up and what not huh?" My mother questioned as she pulled out of the school parking lot.
I knew I should have just taken the chance to have daddy come and get me, I thought as I looked out the window.
Mila J' Kickin' Back played through my mother's system in her Black on Black BMW. I watched the passing cars cruise past us as I felt my mother's eyes piercing through the side of my face.
My mom looked so pretty, even when she was pissed off. Her long Jet black hair hung to the middle of her back as her face was flawlessly beat with nothing but high-end makeup gracing her skin.
She batted her almond-shaped Asian like eyes that were extra dramatic, thanks to her Mink Lashes and her ocean honey-colored eye contacts.
I slowly looked over at her and her eyes widened, waiting for an answer.
"Yeah ma" I dryly responded.
"Why.... them splatters look like that crap you always drinking"
"It's not crap ma"
"It must be. I gotta come pick yo ass up cause you threw up from it. You know how bad that damn traffic was coming from Compton?"
I frowned.
"Ma...I just don't feel good"
"Mhm" she replied, not believing me. "You aint been feeling good for a minute now. I know you and that lil boy better be using protection unless there's something you wanna tell me", she said, raising her eyebrows.
I continued to look straight ahead as we pulled up to a red light on Sunset Blvd.
The sun was hazy and bright, giving the trees the life it needed to stand tall and Beautifully in the city of Los Angeles, city of angels.
"Cali," My mother said in a stern voice.
My chest heaved up and down as the tears streamed down my face as the light turned green.
I hung my head low, sniffling as my mother began to drive down the Blvd. Mila's voice kept harmonizing as mommy kept driving before merging on I-405 S.
My mother stared at me from the corner of her eyes as the rest of the ride was nothing but Mila J singing.30 minutes later, we were making a turn into our driveway in Baldwin Hills, the city in the clouds.
My mom placed the car in park as I grabbed my Kate Spade Hot pink Tote bag. Her hand grabbed my arm, causing me to sit back in the car seat.
"Cali. Is there something you want to tell me?" she asked, this time concerned.
I blinked rapidly as I broke down in tears. I couldn't hold it anymore. Its as if my mother already knew and she just grabbed me, cradling me in her arms. She rocked back and forth as I cried a terrible cry. Snot and ugly as hell, but I didn't care at this point.
"Shh baby...its gonna be okay" my mother said in the most convincing voice.
With no warning, my mother stopped consoling me as she placed the car in reverse and backed out of the driveway and began to cruise past the houses with freshly manicured lawns and big structures.
I closed my eyes and cried silently in the passenger seat as my mother finally made it out of the suburban neighborhood, ending up on the raw streets of South Central.
The whole ride I had my eyes closed until I felt the car come to a stop. My mother killed the engine as she parked in a free parking spot and opening the car door. I followed suit, grabbing my bag as I slung it over my shoulder, using my palms to wipe my tear stricken face.
The sounds of the busy LA streets placed me at ease for a second as my mother slammed the car door.
I watched her sling her Louis Vuitton Never full Tote bag on her shoulder. Standing at 5 foot 6 with thick thighs that can save lives and a great big ass to match, my momma was still bad as hell at her age.
She in her early 40's but she can easily pass for someone in their early thirties. She still had on her Smock from her job since she is a hairstylist and owns several shops in Los Angeles, with her home shop being in Compton.
Her Jimmy Choo sandals flip-flopped against the concrete pavement as I walked behind her in my white tennis uniform skirt, my white cardigan with my white school uniform button-up that was decorated with green specks of vomit and green tea.
"Let's go," my mother said, holding the door open for me.
The cold wind smacked my face as I watched my mom walk towards the receptionist's desk.
There were three windows with three different women on the phones and typing on the computer in front of them.
The lady who was an older woman sported a black and grey bob that hung down to her shoulders looked up and my mom and I as she handed my mother a clipboard.
I read her navy blue button-up shirt with the stitching "Planned Parenthood/Baldwin Hills Crenshaw Health Center".
"How can I help you today?" she said.
"I'm here to get her" My mother nodded to me – "A pregnancy test"
"Have you been seen here before?" the receptionist questioned.
My mother turned and looked at me, resting her elbow on the counter. If I didn't hurry up and answer, I'd be sure she would slap the taste out my damn mouth.
"No Ma'am" I answered quickly, shaking my head.
"Are you 18 or older?"
"She's SIX-teen," my mother said, showing all of her teeth, emphasizing the six.
"Okay. I need you to fill out these four pages. Front and back and then your mother will sign where it requires a parental signature"
I nodded as I took the clipboard, walking over to the patient waiting area. I crossed my legs as I nervously scanned over all the questions it asked me on this new patient packet.
How many sexual partners, have you ever had any STDs, do you use condoms, when was your last period, do you drink/smoke, are you gay, straight, bi-sexual and a shit load of other questions.
I was getting sick just looking at all of this shit.
"Hurry up Cali," my mother said, crossing her legs. "You know if you do half that shit they ask you on that paper"
"Okay" I replied, embarrassed.
I'd never had thought I would end up in this position. Sitting here at a fuckin clinic with my mother about to receive a pregnancy test. I'm still in the clear because she hasn't snatched me the fuck bald yet. I'm a good girl.
I always go to school, I'm boujee and bad. I'm not supposed to be sitting here in a clinic in South Central like some of these girls who come here every week because that's their lifestyle.
I so hate myself right now.
Completing the packet, my mother signed where it was needed and returned the paperwork to the receptionist.
She told my mom someone would be with me in a few, which was good because I wanted to get the fuck out of here.
10 minutes of me scrolling down Instagram and my momma huffing and puffing from being annoyed at the situation, my name was being called to the back to see the nurse and doctor.
"Cali Wr-?"
"Yes!" I shouted, interrupting her as I walked quickly to the door. My mother didn't seem to amped, so she took her sweet time.
Everything was moving in slow motion as I walked down the bright hallway, letting the smell of Lysol fill my nostrils.
All this stress on my brain is not helping me calm down. I knew something was up when I missed my period but hopefully, it's becoming unregulated since I haven't been taking my birth control on the regular.
I really just hope it's a bad batch of green tea.