Rudra left abruptly before I could react. The only polite thing he did was to close the door behind him. I quickly got up and latched the door firmly from my side in case he came back, since that is what my traitorous heart hoped for and also an explanation.
A knock on the door put a stop to my heart wracking sobs. I didn't want anyone to see my puffed up red eyes but hearing Vaishali's whispered plea to open the door, I gave in.
" Why was Rudra standing outside your door .. did you punish him" laughed Vaishali.
" Oh my God! .... you are crying. What happened? Anil said you were asking for me" she said putting her arms around me.
Anil was indeed devious. I let out a small smile at his tactics. Suddenly realization hit me that Rudra had heard my pitiful sobs while standing outside the closed door. He was a sadist, I decided with a frown.
"I have decided to bear it all with a smile and you have to help me. We will not let the enemy know what's in our heart" I spouted with a face full of determination.
"Enemy? Who?... Why are you being so dramatic Lekha. What do you have to bear with a smile ... hmm. Isn't this a moment to celebrate the victory... Victory over that evil witch... Let her cry and whine alone. Everyone here is on your team. I love your family Lekha... I actually envy you for having found them first"
Doesn't having the main protagonist on one's side makes one the winner irrespective of which side 'everyone' is on.
I was soon going to be travelling in the same boat of envy along with her, but why trouble her and spoil her mood I thought. She was another lady warrior when it came to her friends, so it was for the best that I didn't reveal the truth to her. I didn't trust her not to go on an attack mode if I revealed my secret even under the sacred blood oath.
I smiled sweetly to show normalcy.
"But why were you crying " repeated the old nag.
"I was just saddened by the thought of losing my friends after marriage" I lied.
"You silly goose, let me talk to Anil we can stay back too. I would then find someone as handsome as your Rudra and marry him. As for Anil we can get a not so pretty village girl... And then..."
There went my friend weaving fairy tales which would have got me in a chatty frame of mind had my heart not been hurting so much.
I let her continue, humming and nodding my head at appropriate points with a smile on my face. I had dimmed the lamp as we lay together on the bed pretending to be sleepy while the scene from before kept me awake. I lay their analyzing every second of our conversation trying to find some kind of hope but came up with a blank every time.
My last thought was of extreme shame as I recalled Vaishali saying that Rudra had been standing outside, which meant he heard my sobs and got to know about the pathetic me. What was the point of putting on a brave facade when I had to ultimately embarrass myself in such an undignified fashion.
It was good that we had agreed on him not coming in front of me. I wondered if he felt relieved at not having to cater to a watering pot.
Next morning, we were shaken awake by a very excited Lajjo.
"Come on jeeji ... Today's going to be so much fun. How can you sleep? "
"Fun?... What is it?" beamed Vaishali suddenly quite alert, while I still rubbed my sleep ridden eyes. I was still in a state of gloom and doom.
"It's jeeji's pithi dastoor ceremony today" she sang. " Both bhaisa and jeeji will have it together. Ooo... how romantic. I wish when I get married I too get to do the same"
The chatterbox though loveable 'sometimes', gave me a massive headache at that moment. If I could have done it without raising suspicion, I would have pushed her out of the room and closed the door on her face in retaliation. I got all kinds of violent thoughts since hearing about the joint ceremony. I felt betrayed... Rajputs and their sacred promises were all a big lie.
I didn't want him to be part of the marriage rituals associated with me. It would just become a traumatized memory for me whenever I got married again for real in future.
Maasa and Vasundhara entered soon after with thaal covered with cloth.
"Lekha dear, today is your haldi (pithi dastoor) ceremony, so finish washing up and wear these clothes. Punditji would be arriving soon for the puja before the haldi" said maasa placing her hand softly on my head.
"Vaishali and I will help Lekha get ready don't worry maasa" smiled Vasundhara.
"Me too" chirped Laajo.
"Who will help me then?" smiled maasa gesturing at Laajo to follow her, much to my relief.
Rajasthani Poshak
After my bath, I was asked to wear the orange poshak which maasa had brought for me. Vasundhara and Vaishali escorted me downstairs to the verandah where the ceremony was to take place. My heart fluttered with nervousness thinking about the joint ceremony. I walked down with my head bowed like a meek bride so as not to show my flustered feelings to anyone.
Through my peripheral vision, I saw that the verandah had been divided into two parts using a cloth partition. Before I could get a proper view I had already moved on to the other side. I was made to sit on a colourful chowki under the canopy which was upheld by four women using swords on four corners.
Chowki
Suddenly I saw Gayatri pop her head out from the other side of the makeshift curtain.
"This is so good ...now I can attend both the ceremonies together," she said clapping her hand in excitement.
That made me realize the purpose of the partition. He had indeed kept his word. I wondered how he convinced all or perhaps that was the norm for a joint ceremony before the wedding in this period. My hurt pride felt satisfied and that's what counted.
I was made to sit a few minutes before Rudra came in on the other side. It was enough for me to fume about his tardiness. Well, he had given me enough reasons to make a mountain out of even the smallest discomfort he gave me. I could not be verbal in my complaints being the 'meek' bride but cussing and fuming inside the head was equally satisfactory.
We had two priests to conduct the ceremonies separately for both sides. I heard murmurs of the priest on the other side and Rudra answering in a deep modulated voice. No matter how angry or hurt I felt but his voice had this magnetic appeal, which made me want to pull the curtains apart and beg him to marry me for real.
Suddenly there was silence and as I looked up I saw the entry of the true fiancé. She was wearing orange too. I was saved from temptations by the arrival of Roopmati. It was a serious reality check for me. I forced myself to concentrate on what was happening on my side of the curtain.
Kangna
A small puja was conducted by the priest then I was made to wear 'kangna' which is a red thread strung through iron chaaku (small iron knife for protection), turmeric sticks, supari (betel nut) and kaudis (shells). These are all symbols of good luck and to protect the bride and the groom from the evil eye.
Maasa and other married women then put leaf green bangles on both my hands, the symbol of a married woman.
Tears glistened in my eyes and even though I wanted to brush them away I couldn't as both my hands were being held by the ladies.
" Oh... Lekha don't cry " consoled Vaishali from the side.
" Shh.. don't make a fuss" I murmured to her in an annoyed voice. I was embarrassed that Rudra could hear all.
But it was too late as the other ladies had caught on and each had her own sympathizing wisdom to give or narrate the story from her own wedding.
Maasa came and hugged me, as she kissed my head.
This all hullabaloo worked best in diverting my emotions from being sad to be embarrassed, thus causing the waterfall to stop.
Rajasthani ladies attending a wedding
" Something went inside my eye," I said for the benefit of the people on the other side. I didn't want them to get the wrong idea.
" Every bride gets something in the eye from time to time during the wedding... Nothing to be ashamed of" jested an 'experienced' lady, shredding all my remaining pride, dignity etc to pieces.
I did what all meek brides do, I bowed down my face to cover my scowl.
" O look now she is feeling shy" piqued another commentator.
I really hated this dual ceremony. Too much laughter at my expense.
Haldi paste made of turmeric and sandalwood
Taisa brought in the haldi paste which is always sent from the groom's side to be put on the bride, which was me in this case. She seemed extremely happy, as her eyes glistened with unshed tears as she blessed me. That made maasa cry too as she stood beside her. The jesting had stopped for a minute at the emotionally charged atmosphere.
Dholans
The dholans (the women playing dholak and singing wedding songs) started singing a funny number teasing the groom's mother which got the feelings back to the fun-filled ones.
The bride being applied Haldi
All the married women came one by one and started putting haldi paste on my face and feet using a mango leaf. Soon after that, the celebration took a different turn as people applied haldi on each other's faces and exposed body parts as pranks. It was slowly turning into a riotous celebration similar to 'holi' with the only difference that the holi colours had been replaced by the haldi paste.
Others having fun
" Someone put haldi on Roop also ... She will get married soon then " shouted one enthusiast. It was considered auspicious for an unwedded girl to apply a little haldi from the bride's bowl of paste.
A lot of giggling and denials later I knew that the job had been accomplished. As I looked towards where I had last heard the 'victim's' giggles, I saw her standing at a distance towards the other side of the curtain sending coy smiles towards 'her' ex-fiancé. I couldn't help but wonder the reactions of her intended target. Was he smiling back at her?
She was the one actually looking the part of a beautiful shy bride with the carefully applied haldi paste on her face. As for me even though I couldn't see, I knew I looked like a zombie with all the pranks my fun-loving friends played with my face. A sting of jealousy passed through my heart. Even if I was rejected I wanted to go down giving the victor a strong competition.
I could hear Rudra's laughter as the women on his side made some naughty comments. Was he happy that his fiancé was in front of him? Was he glancing at her with laughter-filled eyes? I closed my eyes to ward off the images of 'his' bride but then my brain had to go ahead and display the images of him laughing in the past. It hurt even if the images were of the time when he was with me.
"From now onwards till the wedding both the bride and the groom are forbidden to leave the house "I heard taisa say.
As I was asked to make a move back to my room after the end of all the fun-filled chaos, I turned around discretely to take a look at the other side but he was gone. I felt disappointed but then what else did I expect.
The worst part of this ceremony was when the nahin( barber's wife) came to scrub off all the haldi from my body using ubtan. The lady was really strong and I had an unwanted vigorous massage of sorts, was all I could say.
I refused to go to the evening festivities which would have been similar to the night before, stating tiredness. All of the girls left when I promised to sleep.
I heard footsteps approaching so I turned my back towards the door and quickly feigned sleep. The door opened after a knock and I felt somebody stand at the threshold staring at me. I sensed that it was not one of my friends. I debated whether I should open my eyes but before I could come to the conclusion the person left closing the door behind.
I had the urge to open the door to discover the identity of the intruder but again was too late as I heard the steps hurry away.
This gave me food for thoughts other than the cause of my perpetual unhappiness.
I did hear Vaishali's soft murmurs some hours later perhaps but I was in my own wonderland where all was fine.
Have put in pictures to describe what some might not know. If anyone has any query about the customs etc do write to me. Always love to hear from you. <3 <3 <3