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in which she finally accepts
that she's in love with him
and he does as well
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ok here we goooo a slightly angsty beginning but eh. i got inspo and @coldpepperoni is being an awesome m8 by helping me cowrite a oneshot! and giving me really good prompts reeeeee
IT GETS SUPER CRINGEY AND BADLY WRITTEN TOWARDS THE END IM SO SORRYYyyYyyYy
ALSO SECOND DAD STEVE DJFLKSDJFLDSJF
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Clint sped the team to SHIELD HQ's as fast as the jet could go, and you managed to make it there almost an hour faster than you'd hoped. You'd also made good timing, as Helen was just outside talking to an agent when you landed, so she was able to take Peter in right away.
You insisted on sticking by his side the entire time but weren't allowed to go inside the operation room, so you simply stood outside to watch as that was the most you could do.
"So this probably isn't the right time for me to say this, seeing the condition that you're in right now but I thought, might as well get this over with and just say it. I want to start off by saying I'm sorry," you cleared your throat, pressing a hand up against the one-way glass, "for not keeping a close enough watch on you because if I had, you wouldn't be under the knife right now. I should've done what I was told and kept a close watch on you but I didn't. And I'm sorry for that. For being careless."
You choked back your tears but continued speaking anyways. "Can you believe it? It has to take you being on the verge of death for me to admit my feelings. You have to be on the verge of death and fighting for your life, so that I feel pressured to finally tell you that I'm in love with you. Yeah, I said it. I'm in love with you, Parker. And as much as I keep trying to convince myself otherwise, I can't keep denying it anymore. It's easier for me to say that I don't like you like that and that we're just friends rather than facing the truth itself. But friends don't cry over other friends whom they're so in love with when they're dying in a hospital, and profess their feelings to them when they can't even hear you, do they? I ignored you just because of one silly text and now I'm about to lose my opportunity to tell you how I feel.
"I wasn't looking for anything at all when I first met you. Actually, I wasn't planning on falling for anyone so soon. But then I met you. And that was it...I guess things just happened. When we were sitting together and laughing over something stupid at 4 a.m and I felt the butterflies in my stomach, I knew I was screwed. I knew that I'd fallen for you, and I'd fallen hard-"
You didn't even get to finish your sentence before you broke down into heaving sobs that ripped through your chest and your heart like a flood with hot tears stinging and burning their way down your face.
"Y/N, angel, what's wrong?" Steve approached you carefully and sat you down next to him, gathering your figure into his warm arms and smoothing your hair back. "You okay?"
You shook your head in reply; being unable to speak because every time you attempted to open your mouth you'd be overcome by another round of tears. The super-soldier let out a long sigh and simply rubbed soothing circles on your back in an attempt to calm you down.
"I should've told him earlier," you croaked out, "and look where we are now. If he doesn't wake up from this, then I have to carry the burden of not telling him how I really feel on my shoulders for the rest of my life. I made a mistake and now I'm paying the price, and I'm going to end up blaming myself for his death-"
"Why are you feeling responsible for something you couldn't control? You shouldn't lose your faith in the fact that he'll be just fine; you can't just assume he isn't going to make it. If you give up on waiting, the pain of loss can kill you."
(ooh sheat kdrama quote this hit me kinda hard)
"Thanks, Steve," you sniffed after a few moments, wiping your nose with your sleeve, "I love you."
"Love you too, kid," he chuckled, "now promise me you're going to make things right and tell him you love him once he wakes up, or your dad will never let you hear the end of it."
"Okay, fine. Can we still go on Friday for that boba date you promised me?"
"As long as you confess, sweetheart, as long as you confess."
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You were taken back to the compound and after four more hours of waiting, were allowed to see Peter as he'd been transferred to his room. For once you were too distracted to snap back at Pietro's and Sam's comments about you being in "love" with him, not even replying to what they said.
"Yeah, so she's lovesick."
"Definitely."
When you walked into Peter's room and saw that he was awake, simply reading a book in a hoodie and sweatpants and looking rather bright and happy despite the condition he was in, a bit of the weight sitting on your chest was lifted off.
But he could feel his stomach twisting itself into knots upon seeing your tear-stained and flushed face. It was clear that you'd been crying for a while and he couldn't help but feel guilty, knowing it was because of him you'd been worrying yourself sick. You sat down at the edge of his bed with a worried look despite his telling you that he was just fine and would be up and about soon enough.
"Y/N, hey..."
"Peter," you pursed your lips and glanced at him with a pained expression on your face, "you scared the hell out of me out there. You need to be more careful..but I can't really say that when it was also kinda my fault, can I?"
"It wasn't your fault. It never is," he sighed, running a hand through his brown curls, "you can't prevent all the bad things in the world from happening. You couldn't have possibly stopped him."
"Yes, I could've!" you cried. "I was close by enough to have watched over you. But I didn't keep a close enough watch and look where you are now!"
"Look, there's no need for you to freak out, I'm fine-"
"Well, excuse me for freaking out, I only thought that you were going to die!" your voice cracked on the last word, as you felt fresh tears welling up in your eyes and threatening to spill down your cheeks, "I thought you were going to die...do you know how much that terrified me? Knowing that there was a chance you were never going to wake up? The thought on its own is too much for me to handle."
"I'm okay now, so you don't need to worry anymore, and I'm sorry that I worried you-oh, Y/N, please don't cry," he pleaded, reaching up to brush the tears from your face with his thumb, "I really didn't mean to, hey, it's okay..."
He took your hand in his and intertwined your fingers together, giving you a reassuring squeeze, Then when you didn't say anything and broke down into sobs, he pulled you into his arms and held you tight.
"Peter?" you mumbled into his chest after several minutes passed in dead silence.
"Hmm?"
"Please try and be more careful next time and try not to do something that might land you in a situation like this again? I'm not going to worry myself sick over wondering if you're going to be okay. I've done enough of that already."
"Hey, I will, don't worry," he murmured into your hair, "as long as you stop blaming yourself for something that happened to me. And please stop crying, because I hate seeing you cry-"
"I love you."
He paused but a smile spread across his face at the sudden words. "I love you too."
"No, really," you cut him off. "I love you as in, I actually love you. Like, I look at you and I just love you, and it terrifies me. It terrifies me what I would do, because there's no distance near or far that I wouldn't go for you. I'm not supposed to love you. This was a mistake."
"What do you mean it was a mistake?" he questioned. "What are you talking about?
"I know this isn't destined to turn into anything more than friendship," you closed your eyes and took in a deep breath, "but I still can't stop hoping that it will. You probably don't feel the same way, but I just thought I'd let you know how I felt about you. It hurts, too, because there are some things I can't fake. Like the feeling I get whenever I see you. The weird, fluttery feeling which makes me happy but scares me at the same time. It also hurts because no matter how many times I try to tell myself none of this is real and I can't possibly be falling in love with you, my heart tells me otherwise. That I'm in love with you and there's nothing I can do to change that."
"I'm in love with you too. It's always been you," he cleared his throat, "and it always will be. I should've realized it sooner. I never believed the others when they said I loved you and that you did too, but now I'm realizing that maybe they're right. They always were, but I was too scared to admit it."
"At least you did now," you cracked a grin, but then you hiccuped and started laughing. "Oh, God, we're so screwed. Once everyone finds out you said that and then I said stuff they won't stop teasing us about it until the day we die."
He started laughing as well but then stopped for a moment, the expression on his face softening as he gazed at you for several moments.
You paused. "What's the matter?"
"Nothing."
"Then why are you staring at me like that?"
"Can I kiss you?" he blurted.
You were taken aback at first but when you came to the realization of what he'd just said, you nodded.
He brushed a lock of hair behind your ear and let his hand linger on the side of your face for a moment, before leaning down and pressing his soft lips against yours. Fireworks seemed to ignite in your body and you felt as if your blood was on fire and when you pulled away, found yourself wanting more of it.
"HA! I CALLED IT! Y'ALL OWE ME FIVE BUCKS EACH!" Sam whooped as he burst through the door just as you were both about to lean in again. "Okay, I'm sorry, I just had to. We were all betting on who would kiss who first and I said it was Petey here."
You rolled your eyes and Peter simply laughed, this time pressing a light kiss to your forehead and tightening his arms around you. "I mean, I'd bet on me too."
"Damn. I'm gonna be broke if I keep losing these bets. Come on, Y/N, I was rooting for you to go at him first!" Bucky groaned.
"So you did make a move, huh, kiddo," Steve smirked sightly, nudging Tony in the shoulder. "Your daughter has some nerve."
"He kissed her first," Tony countered.
"She initiated the conversation."
"Whatever. At least they admitted it to each other. Isn't that all that matters?"