Dean
"Dom," I call out, knocking on his door. It's crazy how just a few weeks ago, I'd walk right into his room without a second thought and be excited to walk in on him getting dressed. Now though, it'd be awkward. Lately everything's been awkward and the only way I can cope with it, is to be angry. But all that's resulted in is hurting everyone around me. Guilt eats at me, but pain is downright starving. It fills every being of my mind and all I want is for it to stop. I've never felt so lost before.
"Yeah, Dean?" Dom asks when he opens the door. Bags are under his eyes and his hair is disheveled. He looks like how I feel and obviously needs comfort and protection.
So I give it to him.
Dom shudders in my arms when I wrap my arms around him and squeeze. I can feel him falling apart in my arms and I try my hardest to keep it together.
"I miss them so much, Dean." He begins. "I miss you. I miss her. I'm so tired of sleeping alone and reliving their betrayal and her walking away. I want to redo that whole week and cherish you all harder. I should've loved them harder. I should've told her more. Why didn't she trust us? I trusted her with my life, my mind, my heart. Why-"
"I don't know, Dom," I tell him from the bottom of my heart. "I don't know why things went wrong, I don't know how we could've changed it, hell I don't even know how to fix it. We just have to keep pushing on."
"I can't keep pushing. Not when I don't have you guys." He looks up and I've never seen his eyes look so lost. The composed leader I've known for most of my life is gone, replaced by a heartbroken man who can't find his way.
"You still have me," I try with a slight smile. Dom didn't hurt me, I mean sure breaking up was painful, but it was necessary. And we're in no place to have a healthy relationship. That doesn't mean he lost me.
"I love you, Dean," he sniffs.
"And I love you. And I love them. And I love Sienna. We're gonna be okay. We're just going through a rough patch," I comfort while rubbing his back.
I pull his face to mine and hug his lips with my own. I move them slowly, trying to convey that I'm here for him.
He pulls back and pulls me to his chest, tighter now. His head is burrowed in my shoulder and he mumbles against me.
"What?" I question.
He pulls back and sighs before going over to his bed. Patting the bed, he lets out a low exhale. "We need to talk to them, I mean really talk. Getting Sienna is gonna be dangerous and we need to trust each other as much as possible."
Fear creeps up, slowly but surely. I'm terrified to face them and listen to them. I know why they did it. They needed comfort. But why wouldn't they come to us, first? I guess that's something we have to ask.
"I don't think I'll be able to keep my cool," I admit, wincing before I sit by him.
He chuckles humorlessly and throws an arm around me. "They don't deserve our cool."
I rub his palm before reaching for my phone. After texting them both to come to Dom's room, I stand up and walk into the corner. I need to be as far away as possible from them. I might do something stupid, like punch them... or hug them.
Cole comes in first. He immediately makes eye contact with both of us before finding a spot on the wall. He stands to the side on the door and folds his arms behind him. His face becomes as stoic as the Cole I had first met in high school comes back. That hurts more than him cheating.
Theodore comes in looking skittish. His eyes flit around the room and he opens his mouth before closing it. He stands on the other side of the door and looks down at the floor.
It seems we've all reverted back to our ways.
I look at Dom, waiting for him to start, but he has his head in his hands, sobbing silently. Cole's face twitches and Theodore's own eyes well up. My fists ball up and I want to punch Cole's stony face.
"How could you stand there as he cries his heart out?" I yell at them, specifically Cole.
Theodore jumps, but I'm watching Cole's reaction.
"Crying with him won't fix anything. And he won't let me touch him," Cole says, monotonously. "What do you want me to do?"
"Anything! Something! Something to make this better. This hurts, Cole!" I continuously shout. I can't control my volume now. "This hurts and you're standing there like this is an average day for you."
"Please stop yelling," Theodore asks quietly.
And because I have such a soft spot for him, I calm down. I turn around and take a deep breath, closing my eyes tightly.
"Why didn't you come to us?" Dom, having found his voice now, questions. I turn around, wanting to hear them and see their faces.
Theodore twists his hands as he thinks hard. "We- I... I just wanted to hurt her the way she hurt me. I forgot about... about the other people who loved me and who I love. My rational thought went completely the window and I... I'm so sorry. There's no words to describe how sorry I am and there's nothing I can do to fix this. You trusted me and I broke that." he trails off, looking back down.
I look at Cole, waiting for his explanation.
"I slept with Mia because..." he starts off terribly. Just hearing her name makes my heart pound painfully. "She was there. She was there when I was at my lowest. I could've looked for you two, but only Theo and Mia were there. Theo couldn't provide any comfort when he needed it himself, so I selfishly found it with the woman who hurt you so deeply. And for that," his mask slips as his face becomes pained. "I will do everything I can to bring Sienna back to you. I will do anything to make sure you are happy. Both of you," he adds, looking up at me. "Even if that's not with me."
I don't know how to feel. This talk was supposed to make everything better? I already knew why they were sorry. And I don't even know what I want from them.
"Do you still love us?" Dom asks like he's afraid of the answer.
"Of course," Cole answers without hesitation as Theodore says, "Yes."
"Would you be willing to love us as friends?" He adds.
Cole's face falls while Theodore's rises. "Yes," they say together.
"In time, we'll get back to where we were," Dom says with certainty now. He stands and folds his arms, eyes locking with each of us one-by-one. "Come here," he holds out his arms.
Cole moves first, surprisingly, and wraps his arms around Dom. Theodore joins, hugging both of them. Not wanting to miss out on what might be the last time hugging them, I join. Soon, we're all hugging each other silently. No one's crying, because there's no reason to cry. We've progressed, slightly, but it's still progress.
And with this progress, I'm one hundred percent sure we'll get my Pancake back.
*
"What'd you call us here for?" Dom asks grumpily. After our talk with Theo and Cole, Dom and I tried to go to sleep. However we both had trouble doing that and it felt like we had just gotten to sleep when Leader Hill called us.
Leader's Hill smile is entirely too big this late at night. "We can officially confirm that General Ryan has Sienna," he exclaims. It's obvious he wants Sienna just as much as us, maybe even more. But for his own reasons, of course. Reasons that we need to find out sooner or later.
"So when are we gonna get her?" I question, folding my arms. I want to get Sienna back as soon as possible.
His smile wavers and he gives a pathetic look of fake remorse. "I'm afraid we can't do that as of yet. She's in a facility of hundreds of Soldiers. Sienna is important to me, but I wouldn't risk all my Soldiers for her. Besides, the likelihood of success is low due to all the unknown barriers."
"And just why is Sienna so important?" Dom hums.
Leader Hill stutters before lying through his teeth, "She's my daughter. "
It's obvious Dom doesn't buy it and I don't either.
"What else do you have to say?" Cole asks, obviously pissed at having to wake up so early.
"General Ryan has agreed to have a civil dinner with the five of us. She said she'll bring along Sienna," he responds. "And before you ask, we cannot grab her. There will be backup everywhere and we can't fight in a restaurant full of innocent people."
"Since when did you care about innocents?" I mumble mostly to myself. What's the reason of having an army of Soldiers if not to hurt people? And not everyone is bad. So obviously Leader Hill doesn't give a damn about hurting innocents.
It's silent as we all think. Well actually, as they all think. I'll do anything just to see Sienna, just to make sure that's she okay. I don't know what I'll do when I see her, but at least I'll know she's alive and well.
"When do we leave?" Dom asks, solidifying that we're going.