Ava
"Your dad is here Ava," Michael called, "Come here for a second love,"
I grabbed my bag and sluggishly walked to Michael, seeing a present in his hand.
"This is a cookbook you can give your dad for Christmas, is that okay?"
"Thankyou,"
"Talk to me chic, you've been quiet,"
"I'm stressing about Christmas,"
"You don't need to, dad will make sure it's all okay,"
Despite the obvious tears in my eyes, I nodded, letting him carry the present. He answered the door and whispered a bit to dad, then handed the book over and hugged me.
"You'll have fun. You can always text me,"
"Come on poppet, we are going to have a chill evening,"
I took dad's hand and walked back to the car, hanging my head and slamming the door as I got in. Then, I started to cry.
It was overwhelming- the thought of presents and people.
"Hey, hey, are we crying about Christmas? A time for you to relax with your family?"
"I can't relax; not all of my family is here, and when Marcus arrives he will hate me anyway because I've been so miserable,"
"Well you won't be miserable, because as long as you just follow what I say, Christmas will be fine. He also won't hate you Ava, you shouldn't keep saying that,"
"He will, and he won't want to stay, and it will upset me because I already love him which is a big thing for me, and I want him to hug me, not hate me. I want to see him round school, or at the weekends and to watch films, but when he actually sees me he won't,"
"Why won't he ay? You've spoke on FaceTime, he knows you a little poppet,"
"He'll think I'm weird and ugly, and miserable, and that I don't want to talk to him. I know he will try so hard but what if he doesn't understand I feel all the things I just said because he is still a kid afterall- am I stupid?"
"I think you're worked up, but you're not stupid. You're nervous, and Christmas is a whole new experience as well as meeting Marcus,"
I put my head in my hands and shook my head, bouncing my knee.
"Ava,"
"Please can I have a moment dad," I mumbled, though it didn't sound like him. Perhaps my own mind was driving me insane.
"Ava,"
I turned round, staring at the hazel eyes identical to mine. Then, I turned to dad, who had his eyebrows raised with a smile on his face.
Almost as if I'd never stopped crying, the tears were back as I climbed into the back, and felt his arms around me.
I gripped his shirt like he would disappear any second, incase he was just in my mind.
He smelt like freshly washed cotton, and his hugs were tighter than I expected. He was quite toned, and lookedmuch older than Harry up close.
"Marcus," I whispered, feeling him rub my back, "are you real?"
"The last time I checked I was,"
I knelt up and hugged him better, burying my head in his shoulder.
"I can't stop crying,"
"You'll get a headache," he said softly, "talk instead,"
I strapped myself into the set next to him and desperately hold his hand, craving physical contact after only talking for so long.
I stayed silent for half of the journey, then I couldn't keep quiet.
"This is really weird for me. I've waited so long, and been in so many places where I needed you, but even though I have a family now, it only feels complete with you here. Is that stupid?"
"Stop asking if your thoughts are stupid," dad said, "you can be really creative,"
"As someone who has never had a family, it's crazy to me too,"
"You have more muscles than I expected,"
"You're not the only one who goes to the gym," he smiled, "and I'll take it as a compliment that it's the first thing you noticed,"
"And your hair is curly like mine,"
"Your whole face looks like mine," he snorted, squeezing my hand, "we can talk at home,"
We got back to he flat and I stumbled out the car, not wanting to let go of his body.
"Ava, let him walk," dad said softly, "I'll let you have peace and quiet at home,"
Instead of listening, I carried on, hugging his body as we walked. I assumed he didn't mind because he didn't stop me.
"Ava, before you go off, we're not going to stress about Christmas because we don't need to. Presents are bought, the food is all bought, and you don't have to help cook or play games if that's too much. It's only the usual people,"
I nodded and gave him a hug, whispering a thankyou.
"Call me if you need me, I might be FaceTiming Viola,"
Marcus followed me into my room, his suitcase already there. There was a weird sense of tension, but love like I'd never felt before.
"I like your drawings," he complimented, sitting next to me on the bed, "You're really good,"
"Marcus, what was your life like?"
"I've lived an okay life so far, and that's good with me. Since I moved around a lot, I've never really had friends and got bullied, but it's okay,"
"I am bullied too, well not really, some people say nasty things... but I have so many friends that it's getting easier to ignore,"
"Good. There are some bad people in the world that don't want to change, and you have to realise that's their problem, not yours,"
"Have you been to school your whole life?"
"I have,"
"I've not, which means you're really smart. Dad will see how stupid I actually am,"
"Ava," he said slowly, "I've been with you for about twenty minutes, and you've already decided that I will hate you and that your dad will think you're stupid. It's easier to assume about me, but when have either of us done anything that would make you think that?"
"I don't know,"
"Stop devaluing your relationships then. Most people you ever have around you would never cut you off for a small difference,"
"So are you staying forever?" I asked hopefully, watching as he laid back on my bed.
"I might eventually, but dad has to go to court, and you're on holiday, so it'll be a bit after. You're moving as well,"
"Which dad?"
"Your dad,"
"When?"
"Whenever they decide,"
"Oh. Okay," I frowned.
"By school, I should be here with you,"
"We might stay at Calum's house while they move, then we have a bed and aren't stressing them out,"
"We might, that's a good idea,"
I laid next to him and he brushed the baby hairs out my face, rubbing my shoulder.
"They're amazing,"
"They're dentists and doctors," he cringed.
"So is mum and dad,"
"I know. I don't get how you cope," he joked, "also, your elastic has snapped,"
I groaned and sat up, going to my dressing table to put a new one on. He was completely chill, checking his phone.
"Aren't you excited to see me?" I trembled, thinking about how little his reaction was, "I've never had siblings, and now I do you ha,"- "I am so excited Ava, but I thought I should stay calm so that you don't get too worked up,"
"Okay,"
We cuddled and chatted for a while until dad called us for tea, three plates of curry out. I knew they'd had a cooked lunch, and I hoped Marcus could handle it because I definitely couldn't have.
"So Marcus," dad said, and I couldn't help but notice Marcus stiffen up; I didn't want him to hate dad.
"Do you do anything club wise that we could carry on if you decided to stay?"
"No, no one's ever offered it to me,"
"Is there anything you'd like to try? There's a lot round here,"
"I feel like it's a bit late,"
"Of course it's not,"
"I've always wanted to do football,"
"My brother is in that too, you can ask him about it on Tuesday,"
"Please can we stop saying 'if I stay' ? Because, well sorry if it sounds weird but, I've been to so many houses. Having Ava here and you being so nice to me... this is the first that feels like home,"
"Yeah, I was trying not to put pressure on you," dad smiled, "I'm gonna have to ask you both to stop swinging your legs this time,"
I giggled and put my focus onto that task, bouncing my knee instead.
"Will I be allowed to the gym?"
"Yeah, of course. Ava and Luke go on a Monday, or do something, so you can always join them and do your own thing,"
"Usually I go more,"
"Well Cal and I are trying to go on Wednesdays because that's a day Ava is going to start bringing Harry or a friend round. After our shifts, we are pretty flexible- unless we have to pick Ava up- but any of my friends would give you a lift,"
"Okay, I'll see. Does the school have a track team?"
"It does, that could make up for your missed time ay?"
"What's that?" I asked.
"Running, shotput, and longjump, things like that," Marcus explained.
"No thanks,"
"You can stick to your lessons for now love, you've got a lot on your plate,"
I looked down and saw that I'd eaten almost all of it, but I was full. I didn't think this was a lot left.
"I can't eat anymore though,"
"Not like that silly, I meant you already have a lot of things to do and think about,"
"Oh,"
"You also need to decide if you want to sleep with me or Marcus, Ava,"
"Marcus,"
"Alright, and Marcus... have the care system ever given you any support?"
"No,"
"Would you like to see someone? It could be for one session to clear things, or multiple. You don't have to be ashamed, I've seen people, and Ava still does,"
"I don't know,"
"Think about it, because the offer doesn't expire, and it can be hard and weird to move around and learn about your family,"
"Maybe I could try it, I'm not sure,"
"Whatever you decide I'll accept. I just know from experience that it's easy to pretend things are okay when they're not,"