Ashton
Since I'd worked all week, Ava was with my mum. She had no therapy until after the holiday, which would hit hard, but we would get through it.
Calum had followed us, wanting to see my family.
"Hello," I called out, holding the door for the other two, "you have visitors,"
"Don't come in the living room," Ava shouted, very firmly.
"Not even Calum?"
"Calum can come in,"
He stuck his tongue out at me and went in, Harry coming downstairs with a smile.
"Ash,"
"How are you doing?"
"Good. All my presents are wrapped, and tomorrow we are putting up a tree,"
"That'll be fun then,"
Harry and Viola hadn't has a chance to build a relationship at all, and were practically strangers, so it didn't surprise me when he stuck by my side.
"She doesn't bite,"
"I know,"
"We've got to go on holiday together," she teased, giving him a hug.
"Aren't you spending Christmas with us?"
"No, I'm going to visit my dad,"
"Oh,"
"Dad, why is Calum smiling so much?" Ava asked, walking out the living room.
"Because there's a new dentist, and he is head over heels,"
"There's a girl dentist?"
"Yeah. Are you ready to go?"
She nodded and hugged Harry, then mum who had just walked out the living room.
"I'm gonna stay for a bit," Calum said, "but I'll see you all tomorrow,"
When we got in the car, Ava picked up the box for Viola. I shook my head and she sulked, plonking it backdown. It made me happy that she found so much excitement in giving others gifts, and I hoped everyone reacted the way she wanted.
"I might take my car for a quick drive, just to get used to it," Viola said, "if that's okay,"
"Of course. Ava and I will cook, but I think she wants you to open your gifts first,"
I parked the car and Ava undid her seatbelt, moving to the middle seat where she could see. I'd filled the box with chocolate, some films and cds as well as photos of us.
Then, she opened the fluffy socks from Ava.
"They're from me! Do you like them?" Ava exclaimed, making me shush her.
"You can't do that after someone's opened a present poppet, let them have their moment,"
"I do like them sweetheart, and they're perfect because my feet are always cold,"
"That's why I bought them,"
"Thankyou, they're lovely,"
"You're welcome mum,"
Viola kissed her cheek, delving into the rest of the box.
"Ash,"
"It's only a few bits and bobs,"
Again, she was trying to bite back tears, so I kissed her in an attempt to hide it from Ava.
"Thankyou,"
"I'll take them up, go and have a drive round. Tea will be about 45 minutes,"
She nodded and we all got out, Ava and I heading to the flat. Her small hand was in mine, twisting one of my rings.
"Why did she cry?"
"Viola hasn't had someone buy her such a big present before, and having a car means she can do things on her own terms. She was really grateful that we got her those little gifts too, that's all,"
"Do I have to cry about my Christmas present?"
"No. What shall we cook tonight?"
"Fish and chips,"
"Where did you hear about that?"
"Some youtubers had it,"
"Well we can make that if you want, but I don't need much help. Could you tidy your room please?"
"Okay,"
That was generally her response to things, I found, and I still didn't know if it was her lack of vocab or a simple way to go about life.
As I put the fish in the oven, she came back through with her handwriting book and a pen.
"That's not tidying,"
"I'm done,"
"Alright. Tonight, we will wrap presents because tomorrow you're with Michael!"
"Oh yeah. Can Milo come?"
"He's going to stay here, but Michael has a dog,"
"Okay,"
Typically, she swung her legs under the table, and chewed the top of her pen. To say I was worried about her going to school was an understatement- I hoped she'd be okay. Spending more time in the classroom, with more rules, wouldn't be easy for her at all.
"Dad, my elastics are hurting me today,"
"Let me take a look,"
Pulling her cheek back, she opened her mouth and a small smile appeared on my face.
"You've put them on all twisted silly, that's why. Go and try again,"
However, she'd done it wrong again, and her shoulders were starting to droop.
"We are eating soon, so leave them out, and Viola will teach you again later,"
"Can I ask for something?"
"You can,"
"Please can I see the girl dentist?"
"Do you have toothache?"
"No, but when I have to come in again,"
"Of course you can sweetheart. Next Friday, Viola and I need to go in for a huge briefing, and she will be there so you can meet,"
"Thankyou,"
"I'll do whatever I can to make you comfortable in any situation, and you know that. I completely understand if having a girl would make you feel better,"
"What's the plan tomorrow?"
"We are going to get your glasses from the opticians, then going to see Calum's family. You will say a big goodbye to Viola and go to Michael's,"
I cupped her cheek and she nodded, biting her lip.
"What else is it, Ava?"
"I don't want to go on holiday, because Julie told me all about the airport and the plane, and I don't like it,"
"Julie's experience and our experience will be different. Since we have all your medication to take, and the whole thing could stress you a little, the airport have been kind both sides and are taking us a calmer route,"
"I've been feeling a bit stressed,"
"Well that's okay, we all feel a bit stressed sometimes,"
"But it's making my back hurt,"
"Let me finish putting tea on, then I'll put some medicine on it. I think you should shower first really,"
"Tomorrow,"
"No poppet, you need one tonight,"
"Please can you make me a heating pack?"
"You still have cramps? I'll rub your tummy later,"
"It's uncomfortable,"
"I'm sure they'll go soon. Can you try and speak to mum tonight, because we don't get to see her for a few nights,"
"Yeah. When is Marcus coming?"
"That's a secret,"
She groaned and I took her towel down, kissing her cheek before leaving her to shower. Then, I put the chips in the oven and heard Viola come in.
"That smells good!" she called, heading into our room to get changed.
"Fish and chips,"
I put the peas on and followed her, wanting to change myself. She no longer turned away from me as she did it, and I was pleased she had grown more comfortable.
"You always forget to change," she hummed, throwing me some jogger bottoms.
"My scrubs are a little more comfy now,"
"I think that this process of becoming healthier has helped clear your mind too. When we first met, you weren't in a great headspace. You pretended you were, but in reality you weren't,"
"Do you want to know what I think?"
"What?"
"I think it's you that helped,"
I leant down and kissed her, my hand slowly making its way down to her waist. From mine- and other's- perspective, she had only ever done good for me. Right from day one, she'd looked after Ava, but also me, which sounded ridiculous if you didn't understand.
Nether of us had been in a relationship where the other was so committed, or loving really, but she cared about me. Just because we were adults, it didn't mean we were ready to face everything on our own.
The three of us ate tea together and I was really glad to see Ava actively trying to join the conversation. Ever since I tried to become a lot more aware of how she'd feel in a situation, there had been no tensions.
Some parents assumed it was all the kids fault that there was arguments, and admittedly I'd fallen into that trap, but your kids are still humans. They're processing things, and learning about themselves more than they ever have before, and that can be terrifying.
When we are shopping, for me to take one second and look around, seeing and hearing things as best as I could from her perspective- it was a natural habit now. I could reassure her however she needed.
Ava packed up the card for Viola's dad, then got in pyjamas and brushed her teeth. We taught her how to do the elastics again, a few frustrated tears, but nothing unbearable.
"Your braces are really pretty this time, the purple looks lovely," I smiled, "Ava is going to come to work on Friday and meet Sophie,"
"That will be good. She might even come over because we want to be friends with her,"
"Is she pretty?"
"Very pretty," Viola nodded, "and she as really nice,"
"Because I want her to be my dentist if she's nice,"
"That would be a great idea,"
"I don't want you to leave," she said sadly, giving her a long hug, "Can I read to you?"
"For a little, yeah,"
We both cuddled Ava as she read to us, then she went to bed, us sleeping shortly after.
The next day, Viola woke up and got ready in the morning, then we took all the bags to the car. Kindly, Ava has made us breakfast, so we all ate the yoghurt and granola.
"What will the optician do?"
"Make sure the glasses are comfy around your ears. It won't be long,"
"I don't want to wear glasses, all the nerds wear them in films, and they're made fun of,"
"That doesn't happen in real life," Viola smiled, "I had braces and glasses, plus your glasses aren't for all the time,"
"It's changed though,"
"Ava, you've seen how your school cracks down on bullying, so I wouldn't worry. Anyone who says anything is an,"- "dickhead?"
"Idiot,"
"Oh,"
"Don't use language like that please,"
"Sorry,"
"It's okay, I'm just not a fan of using swear words against people,"
We got dressed and ready, setting off into town. Viola waited in her car and I took Ava in, holding her hand as they fitted her glasses. They actually looked really pretty on her, so I hoped she saw that herself.
"All done," I smiled, taking her back to the carpark, "I've got some nice cookies for Calum's mum, Joy, so do you think you could give them to her?"
"Yeah,"
"That's amazing Ava, thankyou. Do you want to put your music on the car because it's about a half an hour journey?"
"You won't like it,"
"I don't mind,"
I plugged it in and she played her playlist, which consisted of a lot of one direction and the vamps.
"You like bands huh?"
"Is that okay?"
"There's no rule to what music you like. I like bands too,"
"Did you go to their concerts?"
"Yeah, I've been to a lot,"
"Are they fun?"
"They can be. I'm really happy you find comfort in music poppet, do you think that when you're anxious you could try to listen to it more?"
"No. It overcrowds my brain,"
"If you focus on the words, it really helps a lot of people,"
"Dad, I feel a bit excited to meet Calum's family,"
"Good, you should be,"
She didn't say much until we arrived, taking the cookies from me and walking alongside Viola.
I knocked on the door and Joy answered, pulling me into a massive hug.
"Ash, how are you? You're looking really well,"
"I feel great, thankyou. This is Viola, my girlfriend, and Ava,"
"Come in, come in,"
"We brought cookies,"
"That was so kind of you," she said, kissing Viola on the cheek as they hugged. Joy was a second mum to me. I used to go to her if I felt like I couldn't go to mum, and this house was a large part of my childhood.
"Is Mali here?" I asked, taking Ava's hand, "and Cal?"
"They've just nipped to the shop because we realised we didn't have enough Christmas snacks,"
"Ah, Ava was incharge of those for us,"
"I bet you chose some good stuff," Joy smiled, "does anyone want a drink?"
Viola asked for a tea, me a coffee, and Ava went with her to make a juice. I sat in the living room with my hand on Viola's thigh, savouring out last time together. She wasn't returning until Thursday, and I didn't want to think about how much I would miss her.
"Dad, this is really hot," Ava warned, "and Calum is back,"
"You gonna sit with him?"
"No, Joy,"
Cal and Mali entered, making me stand and hug them. Joy brought Viola's tea and sat with Ava, who looked really comfortable here. Whether she was excited for Christmas, so this was easy to get through, or she genuinely felt safe- I didn't mind.
"Where's Ava?" Cal asked.
"Behind you,"
"Oh!" he chuckled, "this is my sister Mali,"
"Hi," she said quietly, Joy putting her arm round her shoulder, "I'm Ava,"
"How come she gets all the cuddles from mum?"
"Oh, sorry, I'll sit on the floor,"
"I was joking hun, you don't need to sit on the floor,"
Mali sat the other side of Joy, Calum next to me, taking a sip of my coffee.
"Yeah Cal, you can have some coffee,"
"Ava, what do you like doing?" Mali asked.
"Reading, and drawing,"
"Oh right, I bet you love English then?"
"Yeah,"
"She's really good," I interrupted, "you're in the middle set now, and you've only been to school for less than one year,"
"Wow, that's amazing,"
"It's okay to be proud," Joy said when she started blushing, "it's something that can be hard to learn, but vital,"
All of us talked for a while, Ava's energy up like I'd never seen before, and she didn't want to leave in the end. I let her stay while saying a proper goodbye to Viola, who was heading to get herself some food while I dropped Ava off.
Timings had changed, and Harry needed picking up from football but mum was on a shift, so I could no longer drive behind Viola. I'd wanted to see her dad so badly, because he was such a lovely guy, but I just couldn't.
"Ash, I've got your gift in the car,"
"I'm sorry I can't come,"
"It's okay. My dad said he was really tired anyway, so I'm heading to the hotel for a rest when I arrive. It's no one's fault,"
She opened her boot and pulled out a frame, some spots full and others empty.
"It can be filled after our holiday, for our new house, which I got a call about this morning. They accepted our offer,"
"When can we move?"
"After Christmas. Around when Ava starts school, when we hopefully might have Marcus fostered,"
"Great. I love this, thankyou,"
"I'm not done,"
I opened my car boot and put the photo frame in there, taking the next gift. I opened it and scrunched up the paper, admiring the journal. My initials had been engraved, and it was really good quality.
"This is for when you are stuck in your mind, and you don't know who to talk to, or how to say it. I'm sorry I've not gone all out, but I didn't think that was something you liked,"
"This is beautiful, really. Thankyou so much,"
I kissed her again, keeping my hand round her waist.
"Stay safe, okay? Give me updates, but most of all, enjoy it. Marcus leaves on Thursday, then the court date is the Sunday on the week of our holiday. Ava is getting her nails done on Friday afternoon, so the week will have cooled down when you get back,"
"The court date is so that we foster him, right?"
"Yeah,"
"Also, we need to end our rent contract,"
"I've never had a Christmas full of so much adult stuff,"
"That's what being a parent does. Have fun," she smiled, kissing my cheek, "I know he will love it,"