Micah Bell X Female Reader
Summary: Being friends with Micah is an interesting experience but nothing could have prepared you for what you would stumble across one evening...Micah Bell crying.
WARNING: toxic masculinity?
A little out of character but a cute idea.
Word Count: 2100
You and Micah have been friends for some time now, but it wasn't exactly an easy road to where you both are now.
Usually Micah wasn't the type to have friends and he liked it that way but you seemed pretty damn determined to befriend him. He definitely didn't understand why and he always pretended to be annoyed by it but it actually intrigued him. Nobody had tried to befriend him before, and he didn't blame them, but you did.
You were kind to him but didn't let him walk all over you, you told him where to go when he was stepping out of line. You laughed at his jokes, which most people didn't even realise were jokes in the first place but you did and you seemed to enjoy them. Actually, you seemed to genuinely enjoy his company and to genuinely care about his well-being. All of this was completely foreign Micah.
Despite all of Micah's resistance, he had became fond of you and found that he enjoyed your company as well.
The two of you became good friends but then another curve-ball was thrown at Micah, it turns out that he had fallen for you. He tried to deny it, a lot, and tell himself that you were just his friend and that was as deep as his feelings for you ran.
However, no matter what Micah told himself, it had become painfully clear that he had fallen in love with you. It sickened him.
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It was late one evening and you were going for a walk in the woods near camp, just enjoying some peace and quiet. As you were wandering among the trees, you heard something. You weren't sure what the sound was, but you were pretty sure that it was either a person or an animal.
Curious, you walked closer to the sound, making sure to stay quiet so that you didn't startle whoever or whatever was making that noise. Then you heard...sniffling? Was somebody crying?
Growing more concerned and curious, you continued to get closer to the noise. You wondered who it was and why they were crying out here, were they injured?
You froze completely when you found the source of the sound. Micah was sitting against a tree, just crying. His hat was on the ground beside him and his hair was hanging over his face as he hung his head, but you knew that it was him. He covered his face with his hand, running the other hand through his hair before just continuing to cry.
You were in complete shock, you had never seen Micah cry before, in fact, you had never seen him show any vulnerability. You had been pretty sure that Micah Bell had never cried before in his life but now you wondered just how sad he truly was. You wondered how many times he had broken down like this, how many times he just couldn't hold it all in any longer. You wondered how many years of pent up emotions Micah was releasing right now.
You knew that nothing had happened recently that would hit him this hard, nothing that would make him feel like this, so you wondered if this was something to do with his past. His past was a topic that he often kept to himself and whatever small things he mentioned about his life before the gang weren't pleasant but he would always pretend that nothing about it bothered him. You knew that he was lying when he told you that he didn't even think about all of that stuff but now you were seeing just how much it must have effected him.
You knew that Micah wouldn't want to you comfort him, you should walk away and never let him know that you saw him like this, but you couldn't do that. You couldn't just ignore this and leave him, you had to comfort him.
You started to approach him again, trying to stay quiet but he must have heard your footsteps. His head shot up and he looked straight at you, your heart broke at the mortified look on his face.
"Fuck" Micah snarled to himself as he quickly wiped his face and began to stand up.
You panicked a little, not wanting him to run off and pretend that this never happened. You hurried over to him and dropped to your knees beside him, wrapping your arms around his neck.
Micah was stunned by your actions, not sure how to react to that but he soon pulled himself together. He scoffed and pushed you away from him, causing you to fall back and land in a sitting position with your hands on the ground behind you to support yourself. "Get off of me and leave me the hell alone" he snapped, pretending that he was fine and that you hadn't just caught him crying.
"Micah calm down, just let me help" you pleaded, the last thing you wanted was for him to be mad at you.
"Ain't nothing wrong" Micah told you as he turned away from you, grabbing his hat.
"Micah, please" you pleaded again, pushing yourself back up onto your knees.
"No, just shut up" he snapped again as he stood up, beginning to walk away.
You jumped up to your feet and hurried over to him, wrapping your arms around his waist. You pressed yourself against his back and rested your head between his shoulder blades. Sometimes, with Micah, you just had to force him to accept that you care about him and to let you prove it. Micah tensed when he felt your arms wrap around him but he seemed to slowly relax.
"Will you please just sit down with me...just for a minute?" you asked him, speaking against the material of his shirt.
Micah just sighed before nodding slightly. You smiled softly before stepping away from him. He returned to where he was sitting earlier and you sat down beside him. You both sat in silence for a moment because you weren't sure what to say, you had never had to comfort Micah before and you didn't even know what had bothered him so much. You figured that you shouldn't ask, you were pretty sure that he wouldn't want to talk about it, not yet anyway.
"You don't have to say anything, I know that you won't anyway. I've know you long enough and I know you well enough to know that you don't like people seeing you vulnerable and that you don't want other people to think that you are weak...I want you to know that I don't think you are weak because of this. It's okay to cry, it's okay to have feelings. It's what makes us human and as much as you may hate to admit it, you are only human. I would be more worried about you if I found out that you didn't feel anything at all" you told him, your voice soft but not patronising. You just wanted him to know that this was all okay and that you didn't think any differently of him.
"...it would be easier to not feel anything" Micah muttered and you didn't know whether you were meant to hear him or not.
"Well, yeah...sometimes...but that would also mean that you won't feel the good feelings" you pointed out but he didn't say anything. "As much as you might try to deny it, I care about you Micah. Please just let me be here for you when you need me" you asked of him, turning your head to look at him, hoping for some sort of response.
Just as you were about to give up on him responding in anyway, without saying anything, Micah lay his head on your shoulder. You could feel that he was tense and uncomfortable, that he had never allowed anyone to see him this vulnerable before.
You were surprised by his actions but you still instantly wrapped your arms around him and pulled him into a comforting embrace. Even though you and Micah had been good friends for a while now, you had never even hugged him. He wasn't the type of person who seemed fond of any sort of affection, physical or otherwise.
You just held him, running your fingers through his hair as he relaxed and calmed down. The pair of you just sat in silence, your head resting on top of his. Of course, you weren't happy that Micah was so upset about something but you couldn't deny that you enjoyed sitting with him like this. You enjoyed being close to him like this.
"I guess I should thank you" Micah mumbled, since thanking you would be normal etiquette in this sort of situation.
"You don't have to thank me for anything" you assured him, it's what friends are for, right?
Micah cleared his throat before pulling out of your embrace and sitting up straight, you tried to hide your disappointment. "You better not tell anyone about this" Micah said, his voice turning defensive again.
"Don't worry, I'm not going to tell anyone anything. I wouldn't do that" you promised him, you would never do that to him. You knew how angry he must be with himself because he got caught in such a vulnerable moment. Micah glanced at you but didn't say anything. "I know you probably don't want to talk about it but...if you ever want too...if you ever want to talk about anything, you can talk to me" you told him, reminding him once again that you were here for him.
"I know..." Micah nodded, his voice lowering again.
"You do?" you asked, a little surprised by his confession. He often liked to pretend that you didn't care about him at all, it annoyed you to no end.
"You're the only person I can talk to, the only damn person who can stand me" he said. This was the first time that he had spoken about something like that, normally he pretended that your friendship meant nothing to him even if you knew better.
"Y'know...if you were a little nicer, other people would be able to stand you" you pointed out, nudging him gently with your shoulder.
"No, you don't get it. I don't give a shit about them or what they think about me...I give a shit about you" Micah confessed, making you look at him with slightly widened eyes. Of course you knew that he cared about you but he had never said it to you.
"Oh...well, you already know that I care about you" you smiled at him.
"I...uh...you've already seen me acting like a little bitch so I don't really have much to lose here" he hummed, something was clearly on his mind.
"You weren't acting like a 'little bitch'" you told him and rolled your eyes. Why do people think that it's not okay to cry?!
"Just let me talk" Micah huffed and you just nodded, waiting for him to continue. "Look, this is kinda weird to say but...I've...uh, I think I love you" he confessed, this surprising you more than anything else this evening.
"You...you think you love me?" you asked, still a little in shock.
"God damn you're-" Micah growled slightly, obviously not liking that you were trying to get him to explain himself some more.
"I love you too" you interrupted him before he could go off on some rant or talk himself out of being open and vulnerable around you.
Your words did shut him up, making him look at you with a torn expression on his face. You just watched him for a moment, wondering if he was going to say or do anything.
Micah just looked at you before huffing to himself. You shouldn't have laughed but you did, you chuckled softly to yourself before lifting your hand and resting it against Micah's cheek.
In probably the gentlest action Micah has ever done in his life, he wrapped his hand around yours and pulled it away from his cheek. You worried that he was going to pull away from you but instead he kept your hand in his as he leaned towards you. You smiled softly as you closed the gap between you, your lips meeting his.
The kiss was soft and sweet, something else that was foreign to Micah. He had never kissed a woman like that before, maybe because he never cared about them like he cared about you. His fingers threaded through your hair mindlessly as he kissed you.
The two of you slowly pulled away from each other, neither of you really knowing what to say after that.
You both remained sitting against that tree for a little longer into he evening, this time Micah's arm was wrapped around you as you rested your head on his shoulder. His grip on you was firm but comfortable, like he was trying to prevent you from leaving. But you wouldn't leave, you could stay here forever.
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