Sunday's were always my favourite days, they were quiet and peaceful, beautiful. I had the power to do whatever I wanted on Sunday's.
Saturday's were usually dedicated to Bonnie's fights, so we'd do nothing but wait till fight night. But Sunday's were for me. And they always started out with him. He would wake up beside me, as I laid on my back with a book in my hands.
Bonnie was always there. Snuggled into my body, resting his head on my shoulder as his arm reached across my body. He'd begin to groan, asking why And how I'm awake so early.
Leave lazy kisses on my skin, before climbing on top of me. That's how we would start our Sunday mornings. Madly and deeply in love.
Now, I lay awake without him. Somehow Sunday's have now become my least favourite day. Every morning I spend without him, the more harder things get. It's been two years, and I still cry remembering him.
He's never made me cry, I guess that's what makes it so hard for me. He was my ray of sunshine in this dark, tainted world. And now that he's gone, I can't seem to find the light.
I imagine Bon in heaven, only because of how loving he was to people. Even strangers. He was so damn kind and sweet to anyone who crossed his path. God knew this world was too good for him. He would hold the door open for a flock of people, grinning. Teeth glistening as he said you're welcome. I miss him so much.
He didn't have a bad bone in his body. Not a single one. Which is something I never expected from him.
When I first met Bonnie, we were five years old. Two little shits, he was a proper arse, constantly getting into it with the teachers and that. We were classmates before we became friends. Then, when we were teenagers, World War One came, and he enlisted. I didn't think I'd see him again, I mean, most people who left didn't come back. Including my older brother who parishes in Flanders.
Anyways, I didn't think I'd ever seen my longtime crush, Bonnie, until finally I had. We were fifteen, a stranger had gotten into a fight with another stranger at the Central Fair. That's how we met again, a fight broke out in front of me and as my friends and I got closer, he saw me, I saw him. That's all it fuckin' took. One look, and I was hooked.
He ran towards me once the fight ended, Bonnie had knocked out his opponent very quickly. He was bleeding with a cracked lip. I winced, but blushed because he said I was beautiful. He asked me out that night, pulling me away from my friends. How could I deny such a handsome, tall, muscular man?
He became my everything. And I was so happy, and so ready to embark on a life with him, filled with love, and passion, happiness and laughs.
Like most days, I get up and head to my shower. When Bonnie passed away, the lawyers came running to me but I turned them all away. They gave me cheques with their names on it but I didn't want them. The lawyers and I had decided we'd give every penny of his away. I didn't want anything to do with the Shelby's.
I live and work by the pier. I'm a dancer at a shitty little lounge, rich men and the occasional women. I serve drinks in a tight dress, until someone mentions something about a private room with a price. The most I give is lap dance.
I spend my mornings like this though, sitting on the window sill with warm cup of tea. I look outside and watch ships big and small depart. They roll into the water, never looking back.
Nearly every morning, I sit, crack open the window to get that air in, light a spliff and have my peppermint tea. My mornings will always include a spliff of marijuana.
Seeing as I don't have a television, the sea makes for great entertainment.
My eyes don't leave the murky blue water, even as the street cat appears from my balcony and makes its way into my apartment. I inhale the rolled spliff, watching as a puff of smoke erupts from my mouth. I wonder where all the annoying pigeons are before hearing the cat meow.
She must've climbed up the fire escape and made her way to my floor. I live in one of those old school complexes, with an emergency outdoor staircase facing the dodgy alley way. I've had a few homeless lads try to break in.
My fingers reach out as the cat, who visually looks ill, purrs. She approaches me, her baby blue eyes are droopy. I relax my fingers, feeling her soft fur, she walks by me and I twirl my fingers around her tail. She roams my small boxed apartment like a boss. She owns my apartment, strutting and inspecting. I am mesmerized by her, before she turns around and looks at me. She tilts her tiny head, examining me.
"What?" My voice comes out in a croak. I haven't spoken to anyone yet. I put my smoke down and feel the need to touch the cat. I've never been an animal loving person, as a matter of fact, I get kinda scared about certain animals.
Pushing myself up to my feet, I put down my cup of tea on the coffee table across from me. The cat approaches me, this time allowing both of my hands to massage and caress her. She smells awful, and I feel like I might contract flees from her but remind myself to be nice. The grey cat who smells foul does not have a name tag or collar. She's all alone in this world.
"You know," I start in a low voice, "you and I are very similar." She rolls on her back, allowing me to rub her belly. I break into a smile, she's already given it up to me. "Both..." I struggle to smile now, "Alone."
I note her physical state, She, is definitely a lady. Her eyes are a crisp, cold blue, and her coat, a stunning shade of grey.
Ashy, with hues of dark blue.
I look at the cat as she shuts her eyes, mouth slightly parted and whiskers flowing freely. She's happy.
For some reason, I feel compelled to reveal what I have planned today to the feline, "Todays my day off from work." I tell her, "I've got to pay someone a visit." My eyes travel up to the small table by my front door where a small pistol lays.
Today I'll kill Aberama. He's next on my list.
I stop looking at the pistol and push myself to stand. I get my spliff from the ashtray and light it up again to take a few more toke. I wrap my arms around myself, watching as this cat trots her way around the flat.
I snort, noticing her waffle her way into my kitchen. "Ain't nothing in there, kitty!" I laugh, but it only comes out as a scoff. I haven't been able to do much of anything. You know, since Bonnie dead.
I remember everything about him. How romantic he was, or at least attempted to be. Fuck, he was the best lover I've ever had, and will have.
He was playful, and rough, and dorky. He always wanted me to cook, always wanted me to be like his ma. I would always protest, and he would laugh. Oh, he loved laughing.
He called me baby in bed, honey everywhere else. Always kisses me, caressed me. He always asked questions, always!
Do you reckon we'll have babies someday?
Do you reckon if I propose right here, right now, you'll say yes?
He was spontaneous that way, and yet so damn gentlemanly that he wouldn't dare propose to me without my fathers permission. For one whole month, Bonnie went searching for my dad who went MIA decades ago.
When I find your pa, I promise youse. I'll have a ring on that finger, and I'll call youse mine.
I get lost in my memory of Bonnie when the door sounds, startling me. The cat makes a run for it. Making her way out of the cracked window and onto my balcony, I stand. Stumbling to my feet as my toes get soaked.
"Fuck," I curse once I glance down. My tea spilled all over the wooden floor.
I step back and around the puddle, another chorus of knocks sound causing my metal door to annoy me. I hurry to the kitchen and grab some paper towels before jogging to the puddle, I throw the thick paper over top of the mess and learn to ignore it.
I smell like piss from the cat but push back my hair with my hands as I look out the peephole. Stupid things been broken for ages, but I'm able to see a little glance of a figure.
I can't see much but I pull back and unlock the door.
When you live in dodgy areas, you know exactly where the weapons are in your flat. I've got a bat right beside me, a fake pistol in my drawer under the sink. A real pistol in my purse which currently sits beside my bed. I'm well equipped.
The door cracks open, literally, making a loud wincing sound. I have to use the back of my leg to keep it open, it's so heavy.
This immediately brings attention of the man who spins around, facing me. I should have pulled my leg from the door and shut it immediately if I hadn't grown familiarized to those black eyes of his.
It's Aberama Gold. In his entirety, he gives me a crooked smile and runs a hand through his luscious locks. He's grown out his hair! I bend my neck to look up at him and instantly remember the night my life ended.
The memory of him encouraging Bonnie to get the surgery. The memory of me promising Aberama that if Bon dies as a result of the surgery, I will never associate myself with him. Jesus, it all comes back in a flood of sadness.
Pure, sadness.
Aberama and I haven't spoken ever since then. It's been two years, and he looks so different. So much older.
"Lex." He steps back, drinking me up like a tall glass of water. Still has that slithery snake of a voice and timid smile. A guilty smile. And the small scar under his left eye is still there.
My eyes don't allow themselves to leave his eyes, because I feel rage, and anger. I have had countless sleepless nights because of this man. Days where I break down because the only man I've ever loved was gone. I've had to attend a funeral for Bonnie that should have never happened.
Bonnie's death could have been prevented if it wasn't for this fucker.
With that, I pull my leg from the door and watch as the door slams shut. Leaving the monster to what he deserves.
My back is cool against the door as the bangs rumble, he wants me to open the door but I can't. I won't. I sink to the floor, as a chorus of questions fill me. How is he here on the day I planned to kill him? How did he get my address? What does the hell does he want?
I made it known that I do not want to ever speak to Aberama Gold. He knows better than to come to my flat. He knows better.
A gasp of airs comes from my mouth, and I slam my hand over my mouth as a tear races down my cheek. My eyes pinch closed, the feelings come back.
I've never thought I would be so broken after Bonnie's death. But if he passed in a way that was acceptable, like a heart attack, or something natural, I wouldn't be like this. But it's because he died in such a fucked up, and preventable way, I simply cannot shake it.
The bangs stop, and I can hear him breathe softly. He's done enough, no, he's done too much now. I want him gone.
"Lex, listen," He breathes. He places something on the floor, I can hear it. "Please-I-I need you."
"It's been two years," He sounds different. I hold my breath, wanting to know what he's talking about. "Alexandrea, it's been two years, please open up."
I roll my eyes, moving my gaze to the concrete floor under me. My eyes fill with tears. After the two years, I didn't know where he went, but I also didn't care.
Word spread that he left Birmingham for good, and thankfully, I haven't seen him once throughout those miserable two years. Though it was standard for Bonnie and his father to roam the forest and create a home there. I was thankful to hear that Aberama Gold was no more. Just like me...
I tuck my knees under me and sniffle, rubbing my eyes. Go away, I almost shout. My heart continues to thump rapidly against my chest. I breathe, or at least try to.
"Alexandrea, I have to confess that I haven't been happy ever since my sons sudden departure."
Do it. Something tells me, encouraging me on my feet. I walk towards my bedroom and grab the heavy pistol. With my mind set, I stand taller as I pull apart the gun to see three bullets.
One for Aberama Gold.
One for Polly Grey.
One for Tommy Shelby.
I go ahead and walk back to the door, my heart is in my stomach. I am reminded of Aberama's words, going with everything that Tommy said. He ultimately led Bon to his death, with that in my mind, I pull open the door and fire my weapon. I notice how wide Aberama's eyes get before he falls to the ground. My eyes squeeze shut for the first time in my life, I am scared of what I've done. But it's too late, Aberama's body falls to the ground in a loud thud, a bullet between the eyes sends him to hell. I drop the gun and tower of the body that still twitches. My eyes cast down on him, I see red, before dragging him back into my flat.