Tw. abuse
Ava
I had a bad dream.
What Viola said had made me dig a hole, and I was spiralling down into a pit of memories I didn't want to be in.
I hadn't told dad all of it, I'd barely managed to tell the police.
How could I tell him, someone who cares about me and loves me? He would be so mad.
I wasn't even sure if it was a dream, because dreams were supposed to be imagination, and mine weren't. It was a real thing that had happened over, and over, and over.
I just wanted dad to be happy, and funny, and not worry.
But every corner of my room loomed over me, suffocating me; if I looked long enough I could see them.
I could smell the damp. I could feel my knees cut, my neck being squeezed as they made me look into their eyes.
The way they covered my mouth as I screamed in agony. The smoke filling my lungs. The blood. Tears. Fainting.
Every single...
Slice. Punch.
Slap. Grab. Gasp.
Crash. Kick.
Cry.
Poke. Taunt. Choke.
Monster.
And it wouldn't go away.
And I didn't know why it was back.
And I thought I was getting better.
And I saw their faces.
And I heard their voices.
And I felt the pain again.
I grabbed my phone and called Marcus, the line not picking up.
"Marcus," I quivered.
I called again, he didn't pick up.
"Marcus," I said more loudly.
I rang again, he picked up.
"Marcus," I cried, "Marcus, help. Help me, they're here, please help me. They're in my room,"
"Ava, what the fuck?" he mumbled, "who?"
"They're here," I shouted, "they're gonna do it again,"
"Ava, you're scaring me,"
I felt a hand on my shoulder, then another, that gently pushed me back. Someone else took my phone and the light came on, my body freezing.
"Woah, woah," dad said, "Ava, babygirl,"
He took his hands from my shoulders and cupped my face instead, wiping the tears. I whimpered, tightly gripping his arms.
"They're here,"
"They're not here," he whispered, "They're not here,"
"There were in the corner,"
"No one is here, I promise,"
"They're good at hiding,"
"You need your inhaler,"
"They might've poisoned it, or-or,"- "Ava, it's just me, and it's just Viola,"
"Where?"
"Talking to Marcus,"- "he won't love me anymore,"
"You need to stop saying that, because he will. Take your inhaler,"
He helped me sit up and pressed it for me, squeezing my hands tightly afterwards.
"They're listening dad,"
"No one is here babygirl," he said, kissing my head.
"My chest hurts,"
"You need to talk, and take deep breaths,"
"I don't know what to say,"
"Anything," he said desperately.
"Viola asked if I told you everything and- and I haven't, and-and-and it's built up, then I-I had a dream that I was there again,"
"You're at home, poppet,"
"But I remember it,"
"I know for your age,"- "not that. Lucy helped, and it sill hurts, but it's not that,"
"Then what?"
"They did more than hit me, and bruise me a little,"
"Ava," he said quietly, "I guessed that sweetheart, you didn't need to keep it in,"
"I don't know why it's coming back,"
"A lot of things can make that happen. Why don't we try and sleep again?"
"Not while they're here,"
"Ash, you two go to our room," Viola said, rubbing his back, "if she's seeing her friend tomorrow then she needs sleep,"
"Come on poppet, lets go and calm down,"
Still holding his hands, I followed him to the bedroom, climbing onto the bed.
"We are going to do some breathing together,"
"I'm sorry dad,"
"You have no reason to be sorry. We should be more open, but that's hard, I understand,"
He guided me through some breathing, not getting mad when I started crying again or struggled. Eventually, I laid on his chest, feeling sleepy.
"You are safe in this house," he whispered, "you're safe with me,"
In the morning, dad was ready for work when he woke me up. He gave me a plate of toast, and sat beside me.
"Will you be okay today?"
"Yeah,"
"Jordan probably knows a bit more about it than Sam, so if anything starts happening then tell him,"
"Please can I take sweets?"
"I think you've eaten enough rubbish lately, don't you?"
"No,"
"Don't be cheeky," he chuckled, "we need to be healthy, don't we?"
"It's not as fun,"
"It's not always, but you have to eat healthy poppet. Luke and Michael would be upset if you weren't,"
I groaned and passed him my empty plate, climbing out the bed. It felt like a sensitive topic for me today, and I didn't want to have the conversation.
I brushed my teeth, and got changed, checking the corners of my room. Nothing was there anymore, which was good.
I felt crazy.
Once in the car, I told Sam I was on my way, and plugged my headphones in. Today would hopefully take my mind of things.
"Remember your manners, okay? And have a good time," dad said, turning round and giving me a kiss on the cheek.
"Can you come to the door?"
"Sam has come out look, you'll be okay. I'll see you later,"
I nodded and climbed out the car, walking towards Sam. He held his arms out and hugged me; it felt so good to see someone again.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm sorry if I'm a bit slow today,"
"Don't apologise. Do you want a drink?"
"Yes please,"
"Ava's here," he called, Jordan running down the stairs and into the room. Calmly, he gave me a hug.
"Harry told me to give you one from him,"
"Oh,"
"Give her some personal space," a woman laughed, followed by a man; I assumed they were the parents.
"I'm Kelly, and this is Adam,"
"It's nice to meet you," I said quietly, fiddling with the bracelet on my wrist.
"You... you have a nice house,"
It was true. It was huge, and the kitchen alone was surely the size of mine and dad's rooms together. They even had space for a chandelier- it made me feel out of place.
Someone like me shouldn't be somewhere like this.
"Thankyou," Adam said, "you don't have to try and impress us though hun,"
"My dad said to use my manners though, and in the movies they-they tell them they have a nice house,"
"Why don't you two go downstairs?" Jordan said, "put on a film or something,"
I followed Sam down some stairs, into what I guess was a basement. Instead, it had been decorated and was now like a home cinema.
At least I knew who the rich folk of the town were now.
"Did I upset them?"
"What? No, you did nothing wrong,"
"Okay, I've just had a tough night,"
He sat down on a beanbag, pulling one next to him for me. When I sat down, he turned the tv on, as well as the air con.
They must make a lot of money.
"This place is cool,"
"I know, it's really good for when you need a cool down,"
There were posters from old bands on the wall, a large bookcase, fairy lights and a huge sofa.
"What do you do when you need to cool down?" he asked, "you don't have to say but I want to learn more. I guess it's personal, and you don't really know me,"
"It gets bad. You've seen me at a low, but it gets bad,"
"Did it happen last night?"
I shrugged, looking at him. He genuinely looked worried, and interested, and almost protective.
"In the least rude way possible, you really don't know a thing,"
"I know, but you can tell me when you're ready,"
"Can I tell you something I've not told the others?"
"Of course,"
"It turns out I have a biological brother, and he's coming over at Christmas. I feel like I've freaked him out, and that he probably doesn't love me anymore, but I want him to like me,"
"I don't see how he couldn't love you, Ava," he said quietly, "you're amazing, and so strong,"
"You think he'll like me?"
We were interrupted when footsteps were coming down the stairs, Kelly appearing at the doorway. She looked at me more softly, not that she was mean before, but I wondered what I'd done.
"I'm sorry," I blurted out.
"For what?"
"Whatever I've done,"
"You've not done anything hun. I just wanted to make sure you were okay,"
"I think we are good," Sam said, "don't freak her out,"
"I'm okay," I said quietly, giving her a small smile, "my grandma is coming at three,"
"That's okay, you could stay for tea if you like though,"
"I've got to go to therapy, but thankyou,"
"Another time, yeah? We'd love to know you a bit better,"
"Why?"
"Sam has had the same friends for years, it's loud and annoying, and we want to be able to adjust to how you work. Plus, your Jordan's friend too, I'm sure we could do with yours and Harry's company,"
"Oh, that's nice, you don't have to,"
"Don't argue with her," Sam chuckled, "you deserve some attention,"