Ava
"Luke, you know dad better than me,"
"Possibly,"
"Do you think he would fight for Marcus?"
"I think so, why?"
"I really love him,"
"I'm glad you've found him, I really am. When you meet my older brothers, you'll see how great it is,"
"I'm so excited to meet him. Please can I call him later?"
"Not too late," he smiled, "but of course. Is pizza okay for tea?"
"Yeah,"
"I wasn't prepared for an extra one, there's some,"- "Oh, sorry,"
"That wasn't a dig," he smiled, "just an explanation. Petunia needs lots of cuddles,"
"Will Viola be okay?"
"She will be, but just like when you were sick, you wanted your dad,"
"She probably wants her dad,"
"I expect so, but your dad also loves her a lot,"
"They never answer when I ask about getting married,"
"I don't think your dad cares too much for a wedding,"
"So they're boyfriend and girlfriend forever?"
"I guess, but they can be just as committed,"
I hummed and shrunk back in the carseat, slightly disappointed. If that was his view then I accepted it, but even I was excited to see Viola in a big dress, and get a nice dress for myself.
When we got to Luke's, I went to the living room and jumped on the sofa, cuddling with Petunia. It took me a few moments to realise someone was next to me.
"Ava, don't run off, I need to introduce you to somebody," he called.
I sat straight and stumbled off the sofa, grabbing Luke's hand as he came through.
"What are you doing?"
"There's someone there," I whispered.
"I can hear you," she laughed, making me clasp Luke's hand even tighter.
"What's this about? She's not going to hurt us hun,"
"Who is it?"
"A close friend of mine, a bit like your dad and Viola before they got together. She's called Sierra,"
"I'm sorry,"
"It's okay," she laughed, "are you Ava?"
She knew my name. She knew about me. Why did she know about me?
"Yes,"
"Calm down hun" Luke shushed, rubbing my back. It made me feel more at ease, because meeting new people wasn't my thing, especially if my first impression was ignoring them.
"I was excited, and you didn't tell me anyone was here,"
"I tried, you ran off. Let's order this pizza before we get too hungry,"
He got the laptop and we say down together. Luke's flat was simplistic, but I really loved it. He had a black and white theme, with two sofas and a coffee table- everything seemed modern.
Yet, it wasn't overwhelming as there were photos of his family, and plenty of art and plants around.
I chose the toppings I wanted, Sierra and him doing the same. She was really pretty, and we had similar hair which was nice to see.
However, I still felt tense. The opticians had been some kind of barrier in my mind, so nothing else that worried me was let in- now it was flooding back.
I didn't know anything about Sierra, and hated showing my vulnerability, but my heart had suddenly started to pump, and I knew it was a bad sign.
"Luke, I'm scared."
"What of?"
"Michael's parents,"
"They are really lovely,"
"And I feel really bad for Viola,"
"She'll be better soon, don't worry,"
I buried my head into his chest and closed my eyes; I had a lot on my mind. So many challenges were thrown at me and I wasn't sure if people thought I was stupid for finding it hard
Sierra reached across and squeezed my shoulder, Luke placing a kiss on my head.
"Do you want some time alone?"
"I think,"
"You think?"
"I like being with you guys,"
"Everyone needs some alone time, I was just being aware because I'm sure dad's been with Viola a lot,"
"I'll stay,"
He shut the laptop and wrapped his arms round both Sierra and I, Sierra holding his hand.
"Luke,"
"Mhm,"
"I love you," I whispered, something I was only used to saying to dad. He smiled, scratching my back.
"I love you too,"
"Am I allowed to say that to you?"
"You're allowed to say that to whoever you want,"
"Okay,"
"You feel a bit warm," he mumbled, touching my forehead, "You don't feel sick right?"
"No, summer is just hot,"
"There's a fan in my room, go and have a lay down and talk to Marcus,"
I nodded and took my phone, going into his room. I put the fan on and called Marcus, putting it on speaker when he picked up. Every time we spoke I became more excited and giddy about it, thinking about all the things we could do together as siblings.
One day, we would meet.
"Ava,"
"Hey,"
"Are you okay? I'm just cleaning up after tea,"
"Oh, sorry,"
"It's okay, I'll just be a few moments,"
I heard clattering pots, and a few laughs before he returned; at least his home had laughter, because that was important.
"How are things?"
"Okay. I'm with Luke because Viola is sick,"
"Oh no! Are you okay there?"
"Yeah,"
"Good. I heard my foster parents talking about Ashton. Apparently they've been talking a lot,"
"Oh, he hasn't told me,"
"Something about visiting, or your dad fostering. I'm not sure,"
"He wants to move houses now,"
"And how does that make you feel?"
"A bit nervous, to be in an unfamiliar place,"
"You can do it. It's a bit nosey but I looked up the area you live in and it looks cute,"
"I think Viola would want one of the cottages,"
"Well that would be nice,"
"Marcus, I really wish I could hug you,"
"I know, me too, but we can't get upset. I'm sure we've both been through some awful things, and I wish I could've had you sooner- I get it. But thanks to your amazing dad, we now know each other and have the chance to be happy together. We will see each other Ava,"
"I want you to stay,"
"Enjoy your holidays still, and don't spend every moment hung up on not seeing me,"
The front door opened and I heard them getting plates out, my stomach rumbling. A small smile cracked onto his face which was contagious, so I smiled too. His smile was nicer, but I didn't care because he was my brother. I usually looked like trash on our calls.
"I need to eat now,"
"Okay, I'll talk tomorrow,"
I went through to the kitchen, Luke passing me a plate with pizza on; It smelt really nice. As we sat on the sofa, eating and watching tv, I remembered I had forgotten my medicine.
Luke would be so mad.
I tried to eat the pizza but I felt so nervous and sick, so I just nibbled at it.
"Don't you like it?"
"I do,"
"Then why are you eating so slowly?"
"My tummy feels funny,"
"Are you sure you feel well?"
"I feel fine, I'm just scared... again,"
If I was honest about my feelings with dad, surely I had to be with his friendsz
"Why?"
I looked down and shook my head, taking another bit of pizza to make him happy.
"I forgot,"
"You forgot why you're scared?"
"No, I forgot my medicine,"
"Oh you silly billy, we'll have to get your dad to bring them to the office,"
"I'm sorry,"
"Did you need any of it? Like anything for your muscles and joints,"
I shrugged, having not even taken notice of my aching body.
"Eat as much pizza as you can, then I'll see what I can find. You don't need to worry sweetheart,"
"I'm finished,"
"No, you need more than that Ava,"
"I can't,"
"Yes you can, I'm not letting you go hungry,"
He wrapped his arm round me as I finished the food, not enjoying the stubborn side of Luke. It made me feel really distant, and I felt that way with everyone but Michael and Marcus right now.
It was just... weird.
Once I'd eaten, I got up and went to the guest room, changing into my pyjamas. I brushed my teeth and tied my hair up, before getting into the bed. I had no book, and didn't feel like talking to my friends.
Today had sucked.
I got a goodnight text from dad, and put my phone down, Luke walking into the room.
"What's going on ay?"
"I don't know,"
"You've said that a lot,"
"I want today to end,"
"Alright... are you going to sleep?"
"Yeah, goodnight,"
"I brought you this," he said, holding up ibuprofen cream.
"Please can you put it on my back?"
"Of course,"
I laid on my front and he carefully rolled my top up, putting it across my back. I had a tank top on so he even massaged it into my shoulders, and it made the rest of my body feel really tight compared.
"Thankyou,"
"That's okay, goodnight,"
"Thankyou for the pizza,"
"You're welcome, have a good sleep love,"
He turned out the light and shut the door, making me turn on my lamp.
I hated the dark.
I really hated the dark, especially when I wasn't at home.
Although I read a book once, and it says you aren't scared of the dark.
You're scared of what's in the dark, of what you can't see, of what you can't stop.
And I thought that was really, really true.