I wake up to the feeling of fingers delicately making a trail down my bare back. Highly aware I'm completely naked and pressed up againt Christians very hot, and very friendly body. I turn my head and find him gazing down at me, "Good morning," I murmur.
His expression is filled with concern, worry creases his brow, I run my thumb over it, "Stop frowning. You'll age prematurely."
This earns me half of a smile, while he gulps, "Are you okay?"
I shrug, trying to feel out every muscle in my body, I wince from some pain in my legs, "The muscles in my legs hurt a little, other than that I'm fine."
He frowns and lets his hand drift down to my thighs, massaging the skin gently, "I'm more concerned about mentally."
I bite my lip and shrug, "I'm okay."
He shakes his head, "That's not a good answer. Just okay?"
I frown and sits up, resting my arms on either side of him, "Christian, that was the first time for me okay? If you want the truth I'm not going to sugar coat it."
His gaze darkens, "Then tell me."
I sigh, "My body feels really sensitive right now, and my muscles hurt, but that's a normal reaction. Give me a day or two and I'll be fine. Mentally...I don't know. I'm still confused but I need time to think. This weekend away in New York will be good for me."
He nods and cups my chin, "You're not scared are you?"
I shake my head, "No. I'm not scared of you."
He lets out a deep breath and cups my chin to kiss me, his kiss is gentle and is over way too soon. He tucks me into his side and kisses my shoulder, "We need to get some breakfast in you so you aren't tired all day."
I pout and he shakes his head at me, "I can tell what you want by the way your pushing your sexy little body against me and it's not happening. You'll be way too sore. You need some rest."
I sigh and nip at his jaw, "Please."
He shakes his head sadly, cupping my face, "Baby I want to, believe me, but you'd regret it."
I roll my eyes with a pout, "I know I wouldn't regret it. I'm far too horny for that."
He smirks and looks at me amused, "That's because your body is super sensitive right now. We'll play later, I want you to relax first."
I sigh and nod in defeat, "Fine."
We lay there silently for a few minutes until he says, "Shower?"
"Mm bath."
He smiles and kisses my cheek before sitting up, "I'll be right back."
I watch him stretch and then make the walk to the bathroom, his ass looked perfect and it only made me want him more.
I sigh and stretch, feeling out my body for real this time. My legs definitely hurt, and my upper arms did too, probably from the way my arms were stretched. I look at my wrists and sigh, there was no brusing, in fact they felt fine after he had massaged them before he finally had sex with me.
I look down at my stomach and see no marks, he hadn't hit me hard enough for that, he hadn't wanted too. If he had wanted do he would have used a different kind. I sigh and pull my hair back again, using the pony tail holder he had wrapped my hair in last night to pull it back.
He walks back in and sighs, "Are you sure you're alright?"
I nod, "Yes. Just a little sore, but the bath will help with that."
He walks over as I swing my legs out of the bed and he picks me up and holds me against his body, "Come on kitten."
I lay my head on his shoulder as he carries me and once we're in the bathroom I sniff the air, "That's a different bubble bath."
He chuckles and nods, "It is. Beth got it when I realized I was almost out. It's smells girly."
"It smells like chocolate covered strawberries," I sigh as I slide in with him.
He kisses my neck before letting me rest against his chest, "Hmm well if it makes you happy I don't care how girly it smells."
I roll my eyes, "Oh please, if more men smelled like chocolate covered strawberries the world would be a very happy place."
He chuckles and slides his hands down my sides, massaging my skin gently as he goes, "Relax baby."
I sigh and relax against his body, letting him take care of me.
When I walk into the kitchen Christian is in there with Beth who looks very tired. She smiles at me warmly, "Good morning MIss. Sinclair. I hope you're hungry."
I nod, realizing I actually am, "Yes, I actually am."
Christian smiles and slides me my cup of coffee, "Carmal?"
I look at him surprised, "You got carmal coffee creamer for me?"
He nods kissing the top of my head, "Of course."
I let him wrap his arms around me and I lean back to kiss his jaw. He nuzzles my neck and says, "Do eggs sound good?"
I nod, "Yep."
He kisses my nose and walks back around the bar, to the fridge. He pulls out hashbrowns from the freezer and gets them ready for the oven as Beth gets the stuff for the eggs ready.
It's about halfway through getting breakfast ready that Christians phone rings. He puts it on speaker as he puts toast in the toaster, "Clark." He's greeted by silence. He frowns and looks down at the phone, and his eyes widen, "Who is this?"
I frown and walk over to him wrapping my arms around his waist, reading the name, it was a call from my phone.
"Hello?" he says, "Who is this?"
There's a low chuckle from a woman, and then the line goes dead.
His eyes widen and he looks at me, "You pay for your phone right?"
I nod, "It's on Avery's contract. I give her a check every month."
He frowns and nods picking his phone up and dialing Avery's number, which I wasn't aware he had. I frown and he shrugs, "I stole it from your phone just in case."
I listen to it ring for a minute and then Avery's voice, Hello?
I motion for the phone and say, "Avery it's Em, someone called Christians phone with mine, can you call and shut it off?"
Sure, wait you don't have anything important in it do you?
I roll my eyes, "No. I'm not stupid."
Just checking...so who's phone are you calling from?
"Mine," Christian says.
Oh. Okay...well I guess I'll see you tonight right? I have something I want to talk about.
I sigh, "Yeah, sure. You can help me pack."
Alright. Bye.
"Bye."
I sigh and Christian kisses my neck and steps up behind me, cornering me in against the coutner and taking the toast out. He butters it around me and I turn my head to nip at his jaw. He chuckles softly and grinds against me when Beth has her head turned. I bite my lip and pout, his eyes darken and he nuzzles my neck in response.
While we're eating he says, "You're going to need a phone for your trip."
I nod, "I know, I'll have to pick one up tomorrow."
He frowns and picks up his own phone, "It's Clark...yes....no I need a phone for Miss. Sinclair. All of her contacts need to be in it...Yes...An hour?...Yes that's fine."
He hangs up and smirks, "Taken care of."
I sigh and shake my head, "I should have known you'd do that."
When it's around two I look up from my book and say, "Are we still going to see Dr. Fallon?"
He looks at me and nods, "If you want to."
I bite my lip and frown, "I want to."
Once I'm dressed and ready I find Christian in his study, sporting a pair of loose jeans, a cream v-neck t-shirt, and a pair of converse. He looked incredible hot, his hair was still messy from the way it had dried after our bath, and his eyes were as blue as ever. He smiles when he sees me and holds up his finger to show he'll be a minute.
I sit on his desk and he sets my feet in his lap. Reminding myself of my pedicure appointment for tonight. I sigh inwardly. He catches my look though and frowns, "Yeah just tell Mr. Brown we'll discuss it Monday...No it's quite alright...Yes, thank you."
He hangs the phone up and places his hands on my waist, "What's wrong princess?"
I shake my head, "Without my old phone I lost my personal appointments. I just remembered I had a mani/pedi scheduled for tonight. But I'm going to cancel it and go with my mom instead."
He smiles and leans into brush his nose along my jaw, "Hmm you need some time with her, but it worries me. What if..."
I shake my head, "I called her while I was getting ready. She's doing fine and she's looking forward to seeing me."
He sighs, "Good. Wes is staying in the hotel down the street from you. A car will be at the airport for the two of you, and it's Wes' to drive while you're both there."
I eye him, "How?"
He smiles, "A loan from someone who owed me a favor."
I nod and place my hands on his shoulders, "Are you ready?"
He nods, kissing me gently, "I am, but I'm a little worried about this."
I nod, "I know, I am too. But it's not like we have to stay the whole time. I don't expect you to want to do this. I don't even want to, but I think it would help me."
He nods, "I know princess. Grab your purse, I'll meet you at the door."
Dr. Fallon smiles at me and takes my hand as we walk through the door, "Well don't you look beautiful as always."
I smile, "Thank you Dr. Fallon."
He shakes hands with Christian and as Christian lets go he tugs me into his arms and over to the couch. As we sit down I pull away a little, now I needed distance.
But he tangles his fingers with my own and Dr. Fallon says, "So you two arrived together in the same car, and had dinner together last night correct? How did it go?"
I bite my lip and Christian gulps, "Alright I suppose."
"I didn't I have to use the safeword," I mumble.
Christians gaze hardens, "You almost had to Emerson."
Fallon looks at him curiously, "Almost had to? Why didn't she have to?"
Christian pulls his hand away and stands pacing back and forth before answering, "I stopped because...because she used my name."
Fallon frowns, "I thought you didn't allow that?"
Christian glances at me and I narrow my eyes at him as he says, "I normally don't. But this is different."
"Why?" Fallon questions.
"I don't know!"
"I do."
Fallon looks at me, "Then tell me."
I bite my lip, "I've dealt with Victoria just like he did, only I didn't have a safeword with her because it wasn't a true d/s relationship. It was...her idea of practice and training for someone else."
Fallon nods and looks at Christian, "She told you she didn't have a safeword? You didn't mention that."
Christian nods looking out the window, "She told me, and it pisses me off. That was the most irresponsible thing that Victoria could do."
Fallon frowns, "Miss. Delwood is still a big problem for the two of you right?"
I roll my eyes, "As long as I don't see her, and I don't hear her name I'm fine."
Fallon shakes his head, "We both know that isn't true Emerson. You want her out of Christians life too, so that you're comfortable."
I sigh, "Yes, and because he can't see that she has a sick twisted hold on him."
"She does not have a hold on me!"
I glare at him, not being able to hold it in any longer, "Really? Then who did you see after I left the office the other day?"
His face pales, "Who told you?"
"No one told me I was there," I snap, "I was having lunch with Channing."
He gulps, "She saw you didn't she?"
I nod, "Yes, she did."
He looks away and I turn to Fallon, "Did Christian tell you that Victoria made a pass at him at Matea's birthday dinner?"
Fallon looks surprised and he looks at Christian, "What did Victoria do?"
He clenches his fists at his side, "While we were sitting at the dinner table she grabbed my knee and...moved her hand up my thigh."
Fallon looks disturbed by this and looks at me, "And you saw this?"
"I was sitting right next to him with his hand on my leg. It was hard not to notice."
"How did you turn her down Christian? Did you do it directly?"
He shakes his head, "No, I exucsed myself to the ktichen to help my mother."
"Yes and then you drug me upstairs to let your anger out," I mutter.
He looks at me shocked, "That's what you think that was?"
I scowl at him, "What else am I suppose to think? It's not like you did it because you care. We both know that you don't. I know your intentions and you know mine."
He narrows his eyes, "I don't believe we've discussed your intentions Miss. Sinclair."
He's used my formal name, and that's when I know I've crossed some sort of line, Fallon clears his throat, "I think the two of you need to get past your individual problems with Victoria before you can get anywhere with each other."
Christian scowls at Dr. Fallon, "I don't have any personal problems with Victoria."
I snort, "Oh please. That woman is like poison to you. One look or the sound of her name you change completely."
Christian turns to me, "That is not true!"
"Yes, it is," I say calmly, "In fact anytime you get mad at me, you turn to her. Which makes me think you've done that with every sub you've had."
Fallon shakes his head as Christians face pales, "Actually quite the opposite. Christian usually takes his anger out on his subs, I find it interesting that he's not doing that with you. Instead he's talking to Victoria about it. It may be a good thing."
My jaw drops and Christian clears his throat avoiding my gaze, "Emerson isn't my sub Dr. Fallon. She's under no contract and she hasn't signed any of the normal paperwork. All we've done is..."
He trails off and I clear my throat, "In his words, all we've done is fuck."
Christian turns to look at me, his eyes darkened, "Using my words against me, very well done Miss. Sinclair."
I scowl, "Well maybe next time you should use your words a little more carefully. Wouldn't want to get to close to the line right?"
He gulps and turns away walking back to the window once again.
Dr. Fallon looks at me closely, "Emerson, have you talked to your dad?"
I look at him surprised, "Exucse me?"
He raises an eyebrow at me as Christian turns around curiously, "I asked if you've talked to your father openly about Victoria and the world she opened you up to?"
I gulp and look down at my hands, "No. It's not any of his business."
"Really? After your mother drinking and hitting you and your father, you don't think your need for submission is something you need to discuss with him?"
Fear washes over me, I was not ready for this.
"No. And I never will discuss it with him. What I happen to prefer in bed is not my father's business."
"Even when it concerns his girlfriend? Perhaps because he let her do it to you?"
I glare at Fallon, "Just drop it."
He shakes his head, "No Emerson, it's time we talk about this. It's time you talk to your father. He loves you and he's very upset that you don't accept Victoria. But I think there's a reason behind his belief in innocence of Victoria. She told him about your mini affair with your teacher didn't she?"
Tears threaten to overspill as I nod, "Yes, and he thought I was mad at her for that. He didn't believe me and he never will because it didn't happen to my brother and sister."
"They were at you mothers Emerson," Fallon says quietly.
Christian sits down next to me and hands me a tissue, his expression is like stone as he stares at me, "He told me that I was lying and that I should be ashamed to makeup something so shameful. She's one hell of an actress too. She convinced him to pay off Mr. Simone. He works for my dad now, right here in Seattle."
Fallon nods and says, "I think you need to talk to him openly Emerson. You need to tell him everything. Tell him you've met people who have dealt with her. It doesn't mean you have to give him names, but it's something to think about, and I'm sure if your father knew the truth he'd make sure Victoria wasn't anywhere near you to bother you."
I bite my lip, "She makes him happy."
"Do you think he loves her?"
I nod, "Yes, he's loved her for years. It's why I left."
He nods slowly and glances at Christian who is holding is head and staring at the ground, "Do you think your father loves her more than he loves you?"
"Yes."
He presses his lips together, "Do you think he would still love her if you told him everything?"
I shrug, "Just because a person does bad things doesn't mean you stop loving them. My mother hurt me in the worst possible way a parent can hurt their child and I still love her."
He looks at Christian, "What do you think about that Christian?"
He shrugs, "I don't love my biological father and I'll never forgive him for what he did to my mom."
I take hold of Christians hand, "And what about your mom?"
He looks at me surprised, "What about her?"
"You're mad at her. You're mad that she protected you and didn't find a way to protect herself."
He looks at Fallon, "I'm not mad at my mother, I established that a long time ago."
Fallon shakes his head, "No, you decided you didn't want to talk about it."
Christian scowls at him, "I think I pay you enough to honor that."
I groan and sit back, "How is this helping us?"
Christian looks at me and bites his lip, taking my hand and playing with my ring, "I'm sorry, it's not. This is new to me Em, I'm not use to having someone know about Victoria, or even care about what she did."
My jaw drops and so does Fallon's, Christian looks at us both oddly, "What? What did I say?"
I gulp, "You...you just said, what she did."
His eyes widen and Fallon says, "Christian what do you think she did to you when you were fourteen?"
Christian lets go of my hand and stands up, "Beth is pregnant, and it made me think about what I wanted. It scared the shit out of me when I started thinking about close friends and the type of people they really are. And then I started thinking about if I ever have my own children and my own children being around those people. People like her. Predators. It was the first time I thought about it that way. At the restaurant when you were there Em. I didn't see you, and I knew the moment she called it was wrong. It felt wrong and that's why I left."
He turns to look at me, "I wanted to tell you, and I planned on telling you before you left, I just didn't want to risk you being mad before taking you in the playroom. And I messed that up by challenging all of my anger at Victoria and all of my fear of her into that room with you. That wasn't fair to you and I'm so sorry."
I bite my lip and he gets on both knees in front of me, cupping my cheeks, "I just wanted to see if you'd tell me the truth," I mumble.
He brushes his thumb over my lips, "I should have told you sooner, I should have told you when I came to your apartment to apologize in the first place."
I nod, "Yeah, you should have."
He frowns, "Why didn't you yell at me for it then?"
I take hold of his hand and squeeze it gently, "I figured that if you trusted me like you claimed to you'd tell me when you were ready. I could see she had upset you, and I wasn't about to push you to talk about it."
He sighs and takes both of my hands in his, "I do trust you." I bite my lip and he frowns, "I really wish you would stop that."
I pout, "Sorry."
"When is your deadline Emerson?" Dr. Fallon asks.
Christian turns his head to look at him with a frown and I say, "Sunday."
Christian stands from the ground and sits next to me, wrapping his arm around me and pulling me into his side, he cups my chin, "I told you that we would see how it goes. I told you I didn't want to rush you and you giving you a time stamp isn't fair."
I nod, "I know because it's a lot to think about."
He looks at Dr. Fallon and says, "I wanted her to take as much tuime as she needed to make a decision. She doesn't have a deadline, not in my eyes."
Dr. Fallon smiles, "Hmm a Christian Clark without deadlines, how hard did you hit your head again?"
I laugh lightly from this and Christian actually chuckles before kissing the top of my head, "No deadline baby."
I lay my head on his shoulder and look up at Dr. Fallon, "I'll think about talking to my dad, but I know he won't believe me unless I have proof and I'm not showing him those pictures."
"All I ask is that you consider it," he pauses and looks at Christian, "And I think you need to consider really letting go of your past with Miss. Delwood."
Christian frowns, "What do you mean? I don't plan on talking to her."
"You have business with her Christian. You don't have much of a choice, and the only other option is to have Emerson take care of things which is hardly fair. You need to cut off your relationship with her and you need to talk to your parents."
He clenches his jaw, "No. I'll cut off Victoria but I am not discussing it with my parents. She's their best friend, that would hurt all of them."
"All of them?" Dr. Fallon questions.
Christian scowls, "My parents."
Dr. Fallon nods, "Just think about it."
"Fine," Christian mumbles.
Dr. Fallon looks at the two of us for a moment and says, "I think we got through a lot today, but I'd like to get through more with the two of you. It could help you figure out exactly what you want out of this. Because I see more than just a typical dom/sub relationship. And that's because of the ties you share."
I frown, "Typical?"
He nods slowly, "I'm actually the therapist to a Dominant and his Submissive. They've been in their relationship for almost a year and she's been serving as his sub for eighteen months, when they started out the girl wasn't sure what she wanted and he just wanted a quick contract. They realized they had much in common and they have a healthy dom/sub relationship. They're actually discussing children. He wants to be a father and she's considering being a mother."
My jaw drops and Christian looks equally surprised, "That happens?" I question, "They're actually happy like that?"
He nods, "Very happy. They give each other what the other needs. He gives her comfort, and she gives him stability."
Christian clears his throat, "Like Emerson gives me control, which is what I need."
Dr. Fallon nods, "Yes, and you make her question everything."
Christian looks worried at this and I say, "It's actually a good thing. Normally I leave things as is and don't make an effort to change things. You've made me question things about myself."
He cups my chin, "You make me question things about my life too. I just wish I gave you more."
I smirk, "You do. Comfort. At least the type of comfort I need. You know when to challenge me, and you know when to soften the blow."
He nuzzles my neck and Dr. Fallon says, "I hate to say that time is up, but it is. I hope you'll both come back together to talk, and I hope this opens up your relationshp and helps you talk to one another."
I hoped it helped too.
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