We pull up to the restaurant, and Bella and I get out as Jessica and Angela are walking down the steps.
"Hey, I'm so sorry we're late," Bella says.
"Bella, where were you? We left you messages," Angela asks.
"Yeah, we waited. But, we were, like, starving," Jessica says.
"We're sorry we kept the girls from dinner," Edward says, stepping up beside Bella.
Angelia and Jessica freeze. "Oh."
"We ran into each other and got talking," Edward says with a smile.
"That's fine," Angelia says.
"Yeah, that happens, right?" Jessica says.
They walk to the end of the path and look back at us, waiting for us to join them.
"I think we should make sure they get something to eat," Edward says, then adds while looking at us. "If you'd like. I'll drive you home myself."
Bella looks at Jessica and Angelia. "We should probably eat. We'll see you at school?"
They nod and leave, giggling to themselves.
Jasper is still standing close to me, but he let his hand drop when Angela and Jessica appeared.
We get a table, but have to sit a little apart. Luckily, though, it does give us each some privacy.
I order a chicken sandwich, because I'm plain and it's probably my favourite food.
Neither Jasper nor Edward order and when Bella asks why, Edwards reply is, "We're on a special diet."
I roll my eyes and drink some of my coke. It's cold, and makes my eyes water.
"How did you find us?" I ask.
"We were passing by, and heard fighting. We didn't know it was you until we got closer," Jasper says.
"Uh huh," I say, drinking again. "So, you weren't following us?"
"Of course not," he says, the hint of a smirk on his lips.
I see Bella rise to leave, and Edward sigh heavily. I grin at him.
"Told you," I say.
But she sits back down, and resumes speaking to Edward quietly.
"Jasper, I need to speak to you," I say.
He looks at me curiously, silently telling me to continue.
I feel a little nervous, only because I don't want him to run away or disappear because he's afraid I'll tell others.
"I know," I say, holding his gaze.
His brow creases for a moment, then his face smooths out completely. I watch his reaction carefully.
He draws away from me almost imperceptibly, but I catch on and grab his hand to stop him in case he leaves.
"How did you find out?" He asks quietly, not looking me in the eye.
"I put it together. But I don't want you to worry. I don't care," I say.
"How can't you care?" He asks disbelievingly.
"Because it doesn't change who you are."
He raises his head, and the intensity of his, now back to honey, eyes makes my breath catch in my throat.
"Doesn't it?" He asks softly. "Does being a monster not change who I am?"
"No, Jasper. It does not, because you aren't a monster," I say.
"I would love to hear your theories on that," he says bitterly.
"Well, you are a vampire. And you've been a vampire since I met you. I like you. Thus, being a vampire does not effect who you are because it is part of who you are."
His head falls as he shakes it. "There's more to it than that. Do you think I show that side of me at school? How do you know it doesn't change me if you haven't seen it?"
"Because, Jasper, the biggest part of it I've seen is you using it to save my life," I say.
"There are other things, too. Ask me, Jordan. Ask me the most basic thing about my life," he says, lifting his gaze.
"You don't kill people," I say.
"And how do you know?" He asks.
"I've met people who kill. I know the feelings I get off them. I've never felt anything but safe with you, Jasper."
He sighs and let's his head fall against the wall. "I should have known I couldn't keep it a secret. You're too smart for your own good, sometimes."
Edward and Bella rise to leave. I give them a 'five minutes' look.
The restaurant has died down a little, and the lights have turned to a golden hue.
There's no music, only a background chorus of low talking and the sound of plates being moved. The occasional bout of laughter will appear, but always turns soft.
I feel Jasper staring at me, and smile. Charlie's words come back to me and make me think.
Is that how I feel? Could I do that? But the most important question, does he feel like that too?
"I can hear your gears turning," he says.
I laugh. "You always know when my gears are turning."
"But very rarely why," he says in a frustrated tone. "You're a remarkable person, Jordan. I don't want to ruin that."
"Jaz, if everything I've been through so far hasn't, I doubt there's anything you could do," I say.
"This won't work," he says bluntly.
"Well, it won't with that attitude," I say as I stand.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The journey back is not awkward, but Jasper is stiffer, and quite blank. It makes me sad, because I feel like he's shutting me out.
Although, he still gets out of the car to say goodbye that when they drop us off.
"Thanks for dinner, Jasper," I say.
"You're welcome, Jordan," he replies.
I hover on the steps, then bite my lip and hop down to him. His posture doesn't change with my proximity.
"I mean what I say, I don't care. I like who you are," I say, and kiss him on the cheek. "That's for dinner."
I go upstairs to my room and sit on the bed for a while, mulling over everything in my head.
Jasper is a vampire, so is his family. I might like him, and he might reciprocate that. But he doesn't think it could work between us because I'm human. And finally, Jasper might cut me out.
My head hurts a little bit, so I seek out Bella, and find her sitting at her computer with the book she bought open on her desk.
The expression on her face says it all. I sit behind her and wait.
"They're vampires," she says after a minute of silence.
"I know."
She looks at me in shock. "Did Jasper tell you?"
"No. I figured it out. But he's kinda down about it," I say.
"Is that why you're in my room?" She asks with a smirk.
"Maybe."
Bella turns her chair to face me. "Spill. You like him, don't you?"
I flush bright red. "N-no."
"Rubbish," she says.
"Alright, fine! I do. But I've only just realised it," I say.
"So," Bella teases. "When are you going to tell him?"
"I don't think I will," I say as I bite my lip.
"What? Why?" She asks, her brow pulling together.
"Well, he doesn't seem too keen on me knowing, and I think he might try and distance himself from me," I say, feeling a lump forming in my throat.
"Jordan, he won't. I've seen how Jasper looks at you. There's no way he can stay away," she says encouragingly.
"Both Charlie and you have mentioned that," I say, hating the urge to sniffle.
"Well you know I'm not lying," Bella jokes, then sobers up. "But, seriously, he looks at you like you hung the moon."
That cheers me up a little. "Yeah, well, Edward looks at you like you made the moon."
She blushes bright red and hides her face with her dark hair. "Shut it."
We sit in silence for a moment, enjoying each other's company. Then Bella breathes in shakily.
"So we're involved with a family of vampires," she chuckles half-heartedly.
"Does it scare you?" I ask.
Bella thinks for a moment. "No. It's more surprise than fear."
"I'm glad. Because I'm pretty sure Edward wouldn't last if you were afraid of him," I say.
She makes a noncommittal noise, and I take it as my cue to leave.
I spend the rest of the night either pacing around in my room, drawing or staring out the window, always too caught up on my thoughts to realise the time.
Imagine my surprise when the sun pours on to my bedroom floor as I get ready to sleep.