Ashton
"Michael said you need to rest," I said, Ava wanting to walk Milo, "and you're not going on your own,"
She picked him up and turned on her heels, marching out of my room and through to her room. We'd eaten tea, and it was getting late, so she knew I would say no.
Plus, she couldn't hide the wobble in her steps.
Viola was curling my hair round her fingers, while I traced patterns on her stomach. Every so often, I kissed her cheek, and she cuddled into me even more.
"I feel so bad for her,"
"I know, I never thought heat would be a problem,"
"Well it's not your fault, and we are doing our best,"
For a while, we watched the tv in peace. I assumed Ava had picked up a book, and that was why it was quiet.
I'd learnt to let her do her own thing, because at the end of the day, she had to make her own choices. I could guide her the right way, but she chose.
Of course they weren't big, but for her to be able to pick up a book or do some drawing in peace gave her independence and freedom- something she never got.
She often showed me neatly coloured drawings, and they were stuck on her wall and on the fridge... and on my mum's fridge, and Calum's fridge.
However, when Milo ran through, barking like a maniac, I went through to her room and found her curled up in a ball.
I kicked myself for not double checking, especially after today.
"Oh poppet, what's up?"
"It's so hot and I feel so confused,"
Miloaz had jumped onto the bed and wriggled his way to her chest, making her uncurl.
"What's confusing you?"
"Everything, I feel so frustrated," she cried, taking staggered breaths. I laid her down flat, gently running my hand through her hair.
"You've gotta breathe Ava, it's okay, we'll be okay,"
"I feel stupid," she cried.
"Don't feel stupid for crying, I'll always wipe your tears ay?"
She pushed my hand away and turned on her side, wiping away her last tears. Gently, I rubbed her shoulders, placing a kiss on her head.
"Do you know what I was told once?"
"No,"
"The most beautiful souls are the broken souls, and the most extraordinary minds are the emotional ones,"
"That's really smart,"
"It is, isn't it," I chuckled, kissing her cheek as she sat up, "it is,"
"My joints hurt," she sniffed, rolling onto her back, "everywhere. My head hurts. I feel sick,"
"I will bring you the fan. Can you change into loose clothing please?"
"No,"
"You're going to overheat even more in that poppet,"
"I'm too achy,"
"Has the joint medicine been working?"
"Yeah, usually it does,"
"Why don't we put the cream on?"
"And you massage it,"
"Wouldn't you feel mor comfortable if you put it on yourself,"
"No," she whined. She was getting tetchy, and I decided I wasn't going to argue anymore.
"Alright, you've had a tough day. Get into your pjs,"
She nodded and I went to the cupboard, finding the cream we'd got. It was like a painkiller, and went straight to the joint, but I had to be careful; I couldn't use it everywhere.
"Ava, what's hurting the most?"
"Everywhere,"
"Okay, but let's think. I can't put this everywhere okay?"
"My shoulders and back, and feet, and hips, and knees, and wrists, and neck,"
"Ava, that's everything,"
"It's not my fingers,"
Despite the situation, I cracked a smile. For a while, she hadn't been cracking her small jokes and annoyances, and they were starting to come back.
"Right. I can rub your feet, you don't need your wrists and knees because soon we are sleeping, so I say I put it on your hips and shoulders,"
"Does that sound good?"
She nodded and pulled her shorts off her waist. As I put some on, she flinched, and tensed up, but she was okay.
"Please can you sleep in here tonight?"
"Don't you think it will be cooler on your own?"
"Why will you never sleep with me?"
she groaned, "I want cuddles,"
"It's not because I don't like you, but I have a girlfriend now ,"
"Well I'm allowed to feel safe while sleeping, and I don't on my own,"
"I thought you were fine on your own?"
"Yeah, but sometimes I wake up and it's not good,"
"We've had this conversation before, come and wake me up. We won't be mad,"
"You'll send me back,"
"If you were that upset, I'd come and make sure you got to sleep. Do you want a massage?"
"Please,"
She was pretty quiet, a few tight spots making her cringe. Granted, I could tell the medicine worked, but it was unbelievable to me how bad it got.
It was hard to balance the rest and movement.
"I swear you've just slept all day,"
"I have- ow that hurts,"
"Deep breaths, Luke said this part always makes you whine,
"Maybe it's more hurt,"
"It's just tighter, I promise,"
"Just rub my feet. I have to stand on them all day, and then Luke makes me run! And now they hurt,"
"Ash, is she okay?" Viola called.
"Yeah, I'm just rubbing her feet,"
"Does she want to read to us?"
She shook her head, and I sighed.
"Come through for a bit,"
"Carry me,"
"I can't believe you sometimes,"
I gave her a piggy back- for the very short distance- and playfully dropped her onto the bed. She laid her head on Viola's lap so that her legs were on mine, innocently watching the tv.
Viola held her hand, kissing me on the cheek. I smiled and gave one back, kissing her lips when she looked.
"You look very beautiful tonight,"
"I'm in my pjs, and I'm sure my hair is greasy," she blushed.
"You look fine,"
"You look better than me, I'm a sweaty mess," Ava grumbled, "What am I gonna do tomorrow?"
"Going to Grandma's, I want someone watching you after today,"
"Today was confusing,"
"It can be, can't it? You're doing so well,"
"I want to see Luke,"
"You saw Luke today,"
"Oh, um, oh. I did?"
"Yeah, he bought us those crisps, didn't he?"
"I love Luke,"
"I know," I chuckled, "you've told us a lot how much you love my friends, but do you know who you don't tell much?"
"Viola?"
"Yep,"
"Grandma?"
"Yep,"
"Harry and Lauren?"
"Yep,"
"Milo,"
"I guess,"
"I love you Viola,"
She snorted and hugged Ava, who looked utterly confused- almost hurt.
"What?" she asked, "why did you laugh?"
"Nothing, your dad just pulled a face,"
"Can dad sleep with me tonight?"
"Ava,"
"I'll pinch your bed then. Lots of teddies to keep me company," Viola smiled, "I want him back from then on though,"
"Yes, okay, thankyou. I will brush my teeth now,"
I kissed Viola as Ava left, holding her body close to mine.
"I'll try and cuddle for half an hour in the night,"
"You can have a night with her, it's okay. I think it's all a bit much for her,"
"I love you, for supporting her too,"
"I love you for helping me realise love isn't so bad,"
"That's so cheesy, but I love it,"
She laughed and hugged me, tightly holding onto me. I felt her heart beating, and her breathing against my neck.
"Me too,"