Ashton
By the time we'd got home, Ava had calmed down a little. She had to go to school, but even I had to admit it was a little extreme.
"I want a break from school," she said dramatically, falling onto her bed.
"You deserve one,"
"I deserve pizza,"
"You are having that on Saturday,"
"Oh, so we have a rubbish tea,"
"Stop being so cheeky," I smiled, "where are you going tomorrow?"
"Luke's office,"
"Good plan. I need you to look online for some swimming costumes and clothes you might like,"
"Does his office have air con?"
"It does, because he's lucky,"
"Who gets paid the most?"
"Michael," I said, "you nosey bugger,"
"Then?"
"Luke, me, Calum. We are definitely not short of money though,"
"Now I feel bad for taking those presents off Calum,"
"Do not," I said firmly, "Can you shower please?"
She nodded and hugged me, making me feel her heart pounding.
"Go and cuddle with Milo first," I suggested, "and it's still an early morning tomorrow, so don't start a film,"
I went to the kitchen and got out the pasta, Viola already making the sauce. There was sausage in the oven, and a dish to bake it in.
"That was intense,"
"She's cooling off, it seems a bit extreme,"
"At least they're not making her do more than the minimum,"
"I feel like my life isn't together again,"
"Don't say that, you're doing great," she said, holding my hand, "I love you,"
"I know,"
"Then what's the problem? You can tell me,"
I shook my head, turning on the stove.
"Ash, you don't have to be embarrassed,"
"I think I'm just handling this wrong. I'm totally winging it, and hoping I give her what she needs, while... I'm not even happy with my body, and I don't feel good,"
"You are beautiful,"
"Viola," I whispered.
"No, you are. You make me smile, and give me cuddles when I'm cold. You appreciate my feelings, and treat me with respect. You don't expect me to do all the work round the house, and let me build a relationship with your daughter. I love your eyes, and the way your hair flops in the morning. I love being curled up by your body, and laughing with you,"
"Viola," I stressed, "I don't see it like that,"
"I'm not saying you shouldn't go to the gym, or eat the foods that make you feel better, but you are beautiful,"
"Dad, the shower's really slippy and I am stuck," Ava shouted, breaking the moment.
"Viola can help,"
"No, dad,"
"Ava, we've had this conversation,"
"Ash, she's gonna cause a fuss if I go,"
I sighed and went to the bathroom, passing the towel to her. Keeping my gaze down, I helped her out, catching her when she fell.
"I spilt conditioner,"
"Oh dear, we need to give that a rinse,"
"Can I read before tea?"
"Yeah, I'm gonna leave you to dry now,"
She cling onto my arm and shook her head, not letting me pull it out.
"Ava, that's silly. You need to get dry and changed,"
"I'm too hot to get dressed,"
"It's just us three in the house, so we could try shorts?"
"My loose shorts,"
"Of course," I smiled, "Go and get changed,"
She shuffled out of the bathroom and I rinsed the bath, returning to the kitchen. Viola put the food in the oven to bake, and turned round to me.
"She needs her braces tightened before our holiday,"
"Give her a week, please. She needs to relax,"
"I will," she smiled, "Is she in Luke's office tomorrow?"
"Yeah, she's missing all of them,"
"I love how close you all are," she smiled, "I wish I had friends like that,"
"You have your little group,"
"Then I come home and see the five of you cuddled together, making mine look tiny,"
I smiled, kissing her again as we edged towards the sofa.
"Don't compare,"
I sat down and she rested on my side, her head on my chest. Montana jumped onto the sofa and sat on my lap, Viola stroking him.
"Ash, what made you adopt?"
"I never thought I'd find someone who made me so happy, and I am- well not settling down, but it felt right for me to have my own family,"
"I've always wanted a little baby,"
"That's down the line," I chuckled, turning as Ava walked in, "Hey poppet,"
"If I wore these shorts out, would I be okay?"
"You'd be fine," I nodded, "most people wouldn't even notice,"
"Because I feel really sick from the heat,"
"Go and lay by the fan then,"
"Where's my phone?"
"Right here," I said, giving it to her, "ask Luke if you can stay in his office,"
"Please can you?"
"No, you can do it. Just text him,"
She slumped onto the sofa and laid down, her cheeks bright red. I'd opened the windows, and turned all the lights off, so there was nothing else I could do.
"I think we will take your duvet out the cover, then there's less on your bed,"
"Okay,"
"How did you cope at school?"
"Air con,"
"Ash, don't we have air con?" Viola asked, "you're an idiot,"
"It's expensive,"
"You have a little more money now, come on, I think we can use it,"
I took the remote and put it on, turning off the fan. Ava's eyes were glued to her phone, while Viola and I served up tea.
Over the past few months, I'd managed to add a little more onto her plate. Sometimes, it was overwhelming to realise how far she'd come.
"That smells really good,"
"Thankyou,"
"Dad's a good cook, but when you both do it, it's even better,"
She sat down and grabbed the knife and fork, tucking in immediately.
"Did you want to offer anyone drinks?"
"Sorry,"
"I think you're spending a few nights with Luke or Michael to save waking up in the morning, so you need to make sure you do it then,"
"Wait, why?"
"There are a couple of days in summer where we do days like the orphanage coming in, or making it more affordable, which means we work late and start early. Luke and Michael get a bit more off around Christmas, so if you'd like, you can stay there,"
"Oh, okay. I want to see Petunia,"
"We know," Viola said, "you gonna see Calum tomorrow?"
"Yeah. Is it weird for me to be that close to your friends?" she said quietly.
"No, because they're like your uncles. If they make you happy and feel safe, then why would we not want you to be with them?"
"Am I too clingy?"
"Ava Irwin, enjoy your food and stop worrying about yourself, because we all love you,"
"I want a hug,"
"After tea,"
"Okay,"
"Tell us something you want to do this summer, and we will try our best to do it,"
"I want to go on a trampoline,"
"Harry has been bugging me about a trampoline park. Perhaps you could both go?"
"Yeah, I would need a slushie though,"
"I think we can get you a slushie,"
"Harry is really great,"
"We are all going over at Christmas. You need to choose what you're doing because it's either Harry's bed or sharing with me,"
"Oh, that reminded me, please can we get the air bed for Owen. He asked for it because he said he liked having his own space,"
"We can do that,"
"And I want to share with you,"
"Alright. It's not for a while yet I suppose, but grandma likes to be sorted,"
"Dad, will there be photos at Christmas?"
"A lot, but you don't have to be in them,"
At first, we decided not to post or take photos because she was so insecure and upset. Although it was getting better, she never liked the angle, or found something wrong unless she took them.
I'd managed to squeeze a few out of her, mainly when we were hugging and she was hiding her face, but it was something. I wanted to show her how beautiful she was, and have something to look back on.
"Well I think my body is okay at the moment, and Luke said it was too at the appointment. I'm just a bit worried that Savanna was telling the truth, and you are all lying,"
"She wasn't telling the truth at all. You are beautiful,"
She really was. Her skin was brighter . Her hair was often wavy, and her eyes were similar to mine. When she grew up, she'd have natural curves, and probably be tall.
"Ava, you are so pretty," Viola said.
"I wonder what my parents looked like,"
"I'm sure they were beautiful too,"