Ashton
I watched as Ava gave Luke a long hug, holding a bag of things. It hurt me to know she needed all of this, plus the shot Luke had given her.
What I had to remember was that if she wasn't here, she wouldn't have got these, and would still be in pain.
It stung a little when he'd asked me to leave the room, but I understood. Her and Luke did the exercise together, which for her was a really personal and emotional time.
"Are we going out for lunch?"
"Yeah, Viola is meeting us,"
"But I'm wearing this,"
"I brought you a spare top,"
"Thankyou,"
She hugged Michael too, then we got back in the car. I needed to read all of the medication to see if some needed an empty stomach, and some needed a full stomach. Some could make her drowsy, others wouldn't.
"Thankyou for making that easy, you were really good,"
"I still don't like it,"
"I know," I said, "but you can bear it, can't you?"
"I guess. Everything feels weird,"
"It's only because Luke brought attention to it. Let's get something to eat,"
I called Viola on the way there, holding Ava's hand tightly. We'd got out a little later than expected, so there was a table when we walked in.
I sat next to Viola, slipping my hand round her waist and kissing her head.
"Hey," she said quietly, "all good?"
"Better," I chuckled, "got a ton of stuff,"
"And Luke said I get massages whenever I want them,"
"Whenever you need them,"
"Can I change please?"
I nodded and handed her the top, gently squeezing Viola's thigh. Being able to call er my girlfriend wad an honour.
"Is she happy?"
"Happy enough," I smiled, "did you have a nice walk?"
"Yeah, it was nice to be outside, having some time to think,"
She took my hand from her leg, intertwining our fingers as the waitress came. I ordered us all drinks, but since Ava had been so picky lately I wanted her to choose the food.
She came out of the toilets, her cheeks flushing a deep red. Angrily, she threw the top in my lap, then plonked herself on the chair.
"What's up poppet?"
"My period came and I have nothing,"
"Then I will quickly pop to the shops,"
"There might be a pad in your car. It'll be big but work for now," Viola said, "I'll check,"
"I don't want my period," she cried, letting me shush her.
"I know, but we can deal with it now. I'll rub your tummy later,"
"I want Calum,"
"Well you're stuck with us,"
"Calum," she whined, hitting my hand away.
"Ava, I'm gonna say no. You can't have everything you want, and everyone on demand okay? Perhaps we can go round tomorrow,"
"It's not like that,"
"Sometimes you just have to do things you don't want to do,"
"I do every day,"
"And I'm not saying you can't see Calum, but I'm compromising,"
Viola came back, taking Ava's hand.
"Let's sort you out,"
"I want to see Calum,"
She was starting to draw attention to our table, which would upset her even more.
"Ava," I said firmly, "sort yourself out in the toilets, come back and decide what you want to eat-take a step back to think. I have just spent a lot of my money on medicine that might not even work. We are having a nice meal, and I have been incredibly patient this week. I get you want to see Calum, I do too because he's amazing,"
She wiped her tears, whispering a sorry.
"It would just be nice for you to consider that Viola and I need time together, and that I just want to treat my two girls,"
"I think we are all a bit caught up," Viola soothed, "pick what you want to eat,"
She chose soup and they went to the toilets, the waiter taking our order.
Sometimes I wondered if I was too harsh on Ava, other times I was afraid I was too lenient. I knew she needed that extra push, or extra bit of time, but I used to be at her beck and call which wasn't possible any more.
It felt quite bratty to me that she just expected me to cancel any plans to see Calum. That made me feel unaccomplished, because I was her parent.
When she came back, she slumped on the chair and put her head on the table, Viola sitting next to me. I went to ruffle her hair but Viola grabbed my hand, shaking her head.
"I spoke to her, she's gonna talk later,"
"Is she okay?"
"Yeah, she just wants to think about how she's going to speak without lashing out, and you will have to listen,"
I nodded and kissed her cheek, my spirits really dampened. It'd been a bad week, and my head was all over, so I just wanted this nice family time. Home could be pretty intense, and my mind could be pretty intense, and I wanted time to relax.
I wasn't blaming Ava, I just felt... exhausted.
Viola and I talked quietly until the food came, Ava sitting up with tears in her eyes.
"Take some deep breaths," I said softly, "what are you doing this week at school?"
"We are watching a film in English, and Mr Carter is sitting with Charlie and I in an art class,"
"That sounds fun,"
"I'm sorry,"
"I know, we will talk at home,"
She nodded and smiled, contently eating her food. Viola and I had shared a pizza, so we ate that between us.
Everything had blown up, then shrivelled.
When we got home, I went to her bedroom, letting her climb into my hold.
"I am sorry. This week has been so horrible, and I've felt really targeted with everything. I felt like I disappointed everyone, people at school see me differently, and I have faced a lot of situations I don't feel comfortable in. Everything hurts, and my period sucks, and everything it agitating me,"
"We can learn from this, okay?"
"When I came here, I was suddenly oblivious to the fact that there can be bad. You took it all away, and protected me, and I'm slowly being shown that people aren't that nice, and it sucks. It's not you, but I know I take it out on you because you're the one who asks me the most often how I am,"
I nodded, kissing her head.
I literally couldn't imagine what it would feel like. She wasn't treated like a human for her childhood, so yes she missed school, but also how emotions work. She didn't know what to say or do.
"It can be hard, Ava, because I can't give you everything. I do so much, and you always want more, and it's probably my fault. At the start, I just wanted to make you feel special, and I still do, but lots is going on. It's my fault really, because I shouldn't have spoilt you,"
"It's not your fault,"
"With all your medication, a third person living here, my own mental health wobbling- it's too much,"
"I get it," she said, "I get hung up on things. I'm upset, and Calum can always brighten the mood, so my mind jumped to that. I'm still working on dealing with things,"
"Me too," I chuckled, "We will just have to be more aware,"