We had no choice. We had to follow suit. I just wouldn't be fighting. I couldn't for the sake of my child.
I grab our bag of clothes and Jasper's toys and one with our rations. Even Jasper had a little satchel on, I took his food in my bag, so he just had toys and books in his, but he felt like a big kid.
When he couldn't walk anymore Bellamy and I would take turns carrying him.
We trekked through the desert with thousands of men and women. We tried to distract Jasper by having him count and spell words for us.
Bellamy held a gun, which I could tell made our boy uneasy.
"Mommy said guns are bad." Jasper tells his father.
"They are if they are in the wrong hands." His father replied. Bellamy's radio goes off, Echo speaks into it, in trugedasleng. He turned away to talk to her. Harper follows after him, I do too. "Echo-"
"Wait she's speaking trig for a reason." Harper injected.
Bellamy replies in trig. Echo replies in the same tongue. He scoffed in reply.
"What is it?" I asked him.
"They know we're coming." He sighed irritably.
"Shi... ugh." I groaned out of frustration. "Clarke?" I asked.
"It had to be." Bellamy agreed.
"Bellamy, if Clarke's on their side, she speaks Trig, too." Harper stated.
Echo and Bellamy talked back and forth, I really wished I learned the tongue in space instead of changing dirty diapers.
"We're on it, be safe." Echo replied in English. "Over and out."
"They will be defending the valley. Echo is trying to find us the best way in. Let's hope she pulls through." Bellamy told us. We nodded our heads in reply.
We joined the crowd once again. I felt so exhausted with the heat on me. I talked to Bellamy, trying to find something else to focus on.
"Remember when you were... dancing with all the girls at the 100 camp? I remember you constantly... danced with two girls at a time." I smirked.
He rolled his eyes. "Don't remind me."
"Bellamy Blake, the lady killer." I teased.
"Daddy killed?" Jasper gasped.
"No, that's not what that means. It means... girls loved daddy when he was younger." I tried to explain vaguely.
"They still do." Bellamy muttered.
I scoffed at him playfully. "Please."
"But daddy only loves you, right mommy?" Jasper asked me.
"I hope so." I replied, staring directly at Bellamy.
"I do, I only love mommy." Bellamy said firmly.
"Because she's the best you're ever gonna get." I added with a smile.
He rolled his eyes. "Yes, dear." A guard came by and took Bellamy's gun away. "What the hell?"
"Octavia's orders." Miller said beside the other guard before walking away.
"I'll be back." Bellamy approached Octavia and Indra followed him. They still aren't giving up, after everything.
He looked really pissed off, for good reason. I understood why he'd be so angry. We were walking towards a massacre and it wasn't fair.
Eventually the sun set and we set up camp. The desert was cold like ice. I tuck Jasper in tightly on his mat with his blanket and mine.
"My feet are cold." He complained.
I tucked the blanket under his feet. "The heat will be trapped in and you'll warm up." I tell him.
"Are we bad guys?"
"No, we aren't bad guys. We're good guys in a bad situation." I kiss his head. "Sleep tight."
I lay beside him, I was shivering and my teeth were chattering, but Jasper was content and that was all I cared about.
I felt Bellamy lay against me. He pulled his blanket over the both of us. I held onto his cold hand.
"Like I said, you're a good mother." He whispered in my ear.
"I just want this all to be over with." I replied as my teeth chattered.
We laid together in silence. Others got comfortable in our large tent. I could hear men lightly snore. I heard Jasper turn to his side and let out a big sigh.
I felt like I was too cold to sleep. I felt Bellamy move hair off from my neck, I was annoyed, I was using that for warmth. He placed his lips against the crevice of my neck.
"Really?" I breathed. "Now?"
"Just trying to warm you up." I felt him smirking against my skin. "And I'm relieved that I'm not dead."
I grabbed his head and ran my fingers through his hair. "I'm happy you're not dead too." He continued to kiss my neck, but I used my elbow to lightly push him off me. "We are in a room filled with people and our child is beside us. No mood is going to be set."
He laid his head back against his pillow. "Noted." He sighed.
We fell asleep and woke up to loud mouths. We were soon packing up and eating our rations for the journey. Food wasn't for anything but fuel and to keep us alive, I learned that a long time ago. It wasn't about the taste, it was just to fill your belly.
Bellamy joined my side, while I packed my things. "Echo found an entry point shortly after you fell asleep. They will surrender and we'll share the valley."
"Does Octavia know?" I asked.
"Yes and accepted the terms."
"That's good news." I grinned.
"You and Jasper will be staying half a mile behind. I don't need you getting hurt. I'll send for you when this is all over. Okay?"
"Yes, Mr. Blake." I teased.
"Good. Just four more days." He turn to Jasper who was playing with his toys. "How are you doing, bud?"
"I'm okay, bud." Jasper replied, mimicking his father.
"Good." Bell smirked before ruffling his hair. "Let's get going, family."
We were on on our trek again. I sang songs that I knew, they were mainly songs that my bestfriend Jasper listen to. Monty knew that by his sad look, but he joined along with me. It was one way to pass time. Many walked in silence, but being alone with my thoughts was awful.
"You know... I... I sometimes get jealous when I see you with Echo." I whispered to Bellamy when Jasper was bothering Monty.
Bellamy gave me a confused look. "You get jealous? Why?"
"I don't know. I know I shouldn't because we we made a vow to one another. But vows get broken and I get jealous. It's stupid." I sighed. "I'm stupid."
"I think it's okay, as long as we know we love each other. I got jealous when I saw you laughing with Murphy on the ark. You guys patched your relationship and I secretly hated it." He admitted.
"What? Murphy and I?" I let out a shaky laugh. "I would never be with Murphy again. And Emori would kill me."
"I wouldn't be with Echo, you'd kill me and so would Octavia, but she'd actually succeed." He replied.
I grabbed his hand and intertwined our fingers. "We are all a big dysfunctional family."
"Yes we are." Bellamy smirked. "But I wouldn't want it any other way."
We continued a long trek. Octavia was growing anxious and had us trek at night. Bellamy carried Jasper while he slept. I envied sleep. But she wouldn't allow us to stop until we all nearly collapsed in exhaustion.
Our last night was riddled with anxiety. Octavia had some tents stay up for some of us to stay behind, including Monty. Bellamy was preparing for war and I didn't like it. I didn't like any of this.
Jasper and I lay in a tent, I shine the flashlight on the ceiling of the tent and show him shadow puppets. I teach him the crocodile and the dog. He loves dogs. He wishes he could own one. And I hoped he could one day, if they all weren't dead. Maybe there was a bunker, filled with dogs. That was a lovely thought.
While I spent time with my son, Bellamy planned for war. I knew Jasper missed his dad, but soon he'll be spending time with him again. And we will be happily on a farm. I couldn't wait for that to happen. I just hoped nothing got in my way. But there was always complications... always.