[ Little Do You Know by Alex and Sierra is the song on the side]
*Play it near the end*
April's POV
"Are you sure about this?" Jasmine asked skeptically. I nod and grab my clothes to change into and head inside the bathroom.
"Of course I am. I've been wanting one for a while and the best part is Perrie is coming here in a hour or two, so she can help with which place is best to get it done," I tell Jasmine and Darren. I slipped on my cropped jumper that had the words 'MEOW' across the chest and squeezed into my ripped, black skinny jeans. I do some mascara and natural eyeshadow along with some concealer to hide the circles under my eyes while Jasmine and Darren continue to talk to me through the door.
"You know there's a needle involved, right? Not in your arm, it's going in your face," Darren said nervously. I step out of the bathroom and smirk at him.
"You want to get one?" I ask him. He shakes his head furiously and holds his hands up in defense.
"No fucking way. I'd like to keep my face in one piece," He said with wide eyes. I chuckle and grab my steel grey converse before sliding them on, along with some black hoops.
"I think you should get your ears pierced. You'd look so fucking cute," I cooed at Darren while he scowled.
"Hell no," He refused. Jasmine pushed him slightly and gave him a smirk.
"Oh come on. I have to agree with April here. You'd look so fucking cute with pierced ears," Jasmine laughed. Darren looked slightly nervous and fearful.
"I don't have a choice, do I?" He asked hesitantly. Me and jasmine looked at each other and smirked, already knowing the answer.
"Nope," We said simultaneously. Darren groaned and stomped out of my bedroom. I could faintly hear Darren saying 'I'm not ready to die' over and over in the hallway. I turn to Jasmine and raise an eyebrow.
"What about you?" I ask her. She furrows her eyebrows in confusion and soon raised an eyebrow.
"What about me?" Jasmine asks hesitantly. I sit on my bed and pat it in a gesture for her to sit. She takes the seat beside me and looks over at me.
"Any piercings you'd want to do?" I ask her. She shakes her head before pausing and scrunching her eyebrows together. She smiles slightly before looking at me.
"A lip piercing," She says with excitement laced into her voice. I laugh and nod at her.
"That would look nice on you," I grin. She gives me a sheepish grin before standing up and dusting off her dress.
"We should be heading out now. Perrie's at the shop now, probably," Jasmine says. I nod and follow her towards the front door before I hear the lovely and groggy voice of Ryan.
"Wait!" He calls out in a hoarse voice. I turn and see him dressed in jeans and the shirt her wore yesterday. I raise an eyebrow at the shirt but ignore it for now.
"What?" I ask. He rubs his eyes and looks me over before mumbling something to himself.
"Your getting your first piercing done. I have to come," He tells me in a stern, still groggy, voice. I laugh at him.
"This is not my first piercing. I've had my ears pierced twice," I laugh. He shakes his head and grumbles.
"It's your first unique piercing. Same thing," He explains with an eye roll. I grab his arm and drag him towards the door, not wanting to wait in a line.
"Get your jacket and shoes so we can go," I tell him. He squeals in a mocking way and goes back to his room to grab his stuff.
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"Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck," I say over and over nervously. I was currently sitting in a chair, waiting for the man to finish cleaning that needle thing and get the stabbing over with already. I squeezed Darren's hand and stared wide eyed at the man with the needle.
"See? We could've been at Starbucks or something, but no. We just had to go to a tattoo and piercing parlor to get piercings all over our bodies," Darren said with a huff. He was probably mad that he was going next.
"After this I promise I'll go buy us some Nando's," I promise him which makes him grin.
"Deal," Darren says with his bright, pearly smile. Ryan walks in with his phone and starts to take pictures. He's been doing it ever since we got here.
"Say cheese," Ryan says with a grin. I glare and scowl at him while he takes pictures.
"I swear, if you say that one more time and take another picture, I will murder you," I glare at him. He smirks and sets his phone on the side table.
"How would you do that without getting caught and arrested?" He asks with humor. I shrug and flash him a smirk.
"I've been watching How To Get Away With Murder. I've learned, my child," I smirk at him deviously. He scowls and mumbles under his breath.
"I need to block off that channel," He grumbles to himself.
We've been here for about half an hour already and Jasmine has her lip pierced, Perrie had her neck pierced, and I'm finally getting my nose pierced. When I first met Perrie, which was half an hour ago, I thought I was going to faint. She was way more beautiful than me and she had the cutest outfit on. Why cant I look that cute?
She turned out to be super sweet and she's really funny. No wonder Zayn loves her. I would marry her if I could. But that would be kinda weird, ya know?
My thoughts came to a halt as the needle was pierced through my nose. I squeezed Darren's hand tighter and squeezed my eyes shut as I listened to Ryan talk while recording me.
"This is my sister. She's a big girl. She's getting her nose pierced. Yay!" Ryan mocked. I knew he would mock me. That little arsehole. I should've locked him in his room and nailed it shut.
I kept my eyes closed but telling Ryan through my mind to say his prayers because he won't have an ass anymore after I get to him. I had the urge to scrunch my nose up and scratch it at the same time. I tried to keep myself from scratching or scrunching my nose up while he took the needle out and replaced it with my nose ring. I decided to get a ring instead of a stud because I'm awesome like that. Not really.
"Your done. The cleaner is up front and make sure you use it 3 times a day so it won't get infected. Don't take the piercing out until it's been 6 months," The man tells me while he puts his death tools up. I nod and stand up as Darren smiles, trying to walk out of the door. I grab the back of his coat and push him into the seat. He looked nervous as the man got his piercing gun out and cleaned it.
"Why do you hate me?" Darren glared at me. I smiled and grabbed his hand as the man marked his ear with a sharpie. We already picked out simple square diamond studs. I thought that they would look good on him.
"Come on. Its not that bad. Just close your eyes and squeeze my hand as hard as you want if it hurts," I tell him. He nods and the man counts to three before piercing the stud into his ear. Darren winces and squeezes my hand. Like, really hard.
I hold on the groan of pain I wanted to let out and let him continue his torture. The man does the other ear and, if it's possible, Darren squeezed my hand even harder. I was on the verge of telling him to let go and squeeze the chair. Once the man was done he cleaned around the ear and told Darren the same thing he told me.
Darren stood up and walked out of the room with Ryan and I in tow. Perrie was speaking with Jasmine while Jasmine shyly nodded her head along with Perrie's rambling. I smiled at the two and walked over towards them. With my new appearance, they looked up at me and smiled.
"Ready to go?" Perrie asked. I nodded and told the two boys to come on. We were going to get some lunch and head over to the boys' place and show them our new piercings. And Perrie wants to go see Zayn again, obviously.
We all headed inside Ryan's car and buckled up before following Perrie down a couple streets. After about 10 minutes, we came up to a restaurant called McAlister's Deli. We exited and locked out cars before heading inside the large deli restaurant. Perrie walked in and stood in line while the paparazzi were outside waiting for her. The people inside were quite starstruck. They would stare and not even order their food. I'm starving! You can't make a girl wait this long for some food.
"Um......Could you order, please? I'm really hungry," I said awkwardly. People turned and looked at me before taking another glance at Perrie. The group at the cash register started to order and I was relived. I needed a snack. Or a sandwich. Maybe both. Soon enough, we were at the front of the line and ordering our food.
"Ham and cheese sandwich with chips and a Pepsi, please," I tell the cashier. She nods and returns my large grin. This is one of the non rare moments where I'm hungry and happy I'm about to be fed. Anyone else like that?
We received our meals and headed out of the deli and towards our cars. It was more difficult since their was more paparazzi than when we got here.
"Perrie. How's the album going?"
"Where are the other girls, Perrie?"
"Are you friends with Liams girlfriend?"
"April. Who's the other guy? Are you cheating on Liam?"
"Why are you always acting like a slut, April?"
That's when I froze in my spot. I looked towards the ground and felt the tears burn the edges of my eyes. Maria and Tom used to call me that all the time. Were they right? I felt a headache starting to form from all the questions and images filling my head. I lifted my hands up and held my head. I wanted to scream, cry, and just lay in my bed in my sweats. Unfortunately, I can't. I'm stuck with these horrible human beings. People who don't have real lives and bug celebrities until they spill their secrets.
I wipe the edges of my eyes and move out of the crowd that had formed around the paparazzi and moved towards the car. My headache was going full force and wouldn't edge down, not even a small notch. I waited beside the car for Ryan and the others as they were just coming out of the crowd.
It's always me, isn't it? I know people have it worse, I'm actually grateful that it's just the paparazzi calling me names, but that doesn't mean things people say about me hurt. They hurt a million times more than what people think. There's people that have been raped, almost beaten to death, don't have any family, don't have a house to live in, bullied constantly at school, and more. The worse part is, people don't care. Sure, you might find a kind, genuine person who cares, but most people don't. They're just happy it isn't them.
"You okay, babes?" Ryan asks me. Concern and Worry was swimming in his eyes and I honestly just want to be left alone at the moment. I love Ryan, I really do, but I don't want anyone's company at the moment.
"Yeah. I think I'll skip going to the boys' place. Can you just drop me off at home?" I ask Ryan quietly. They know I'm acting odd, but don't say a word after Ryan nods his head at me. I hop into the passenger seat and let my thoughts take over as Ryan drives.
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I sit on my bathroom floor debating. Should I do it? Maybe I shouldn't. It would make the pain go away. Only for a little while. It would distract me long enough. Only for a certain amount of time. I've gone crazy. I'm arguing with myself.
When I got home, I headed into my Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook accounts. Hate, hate, hate. I couldn't stand it. It's part of being Niall Horan's sister and Liam Payne's girlfriend. If I had to go through this to be with the ones I love, then I would do it in a heartbeat.
I had a razor in one hand and a wash clothe in the other. I've been debating with myself for about 10 minutes. I want to be clean. I want to stay the way I am. I don't want fresh marks on my arms, but flashbacks and nightmares have been in my head for the past week. The words on my accounts, the words in real life, it's hard to deal with. A lot of people would know what I'm talking about.
I made my decision in that moment.
I brought up the object in my right hand and let it pierce my skin. The razor made a straight line through my arm and made the skin break and let the blood flow. I let a tear roll down my face and, soon, more followed. Sobs racked my body as I sliced my arm another 3 times.
Slut
Whore
Bitch
Your a horrible person
My sobs became louder as words from my parents, people I know, fans, and paparazzi said to me or about me. I let the razor go as I lay my head down on the floor and rolled up into a ball. I cried harder as I saw the many slashes I made on my left arm.
A total of 8 cuts were on my arm.
I scream out in sadness and anger. I was angry at myself for letting myself do it so many times. I was angry at people for knocking me down to such a low point. I was angry at Niall for being famous. I was angry at Maria and Tom for being such shitty parents. I was angry at myself. I was angry because I could've fought back bullies. I could've broke up with Michael when he started having weird behavior so I wouldn't have to go through such heartbreak. I was stupid. I am stupid. I could've prevented a lot of things, but I was too stupid. Too naive.
I wrap my arm in the wash cloth and put a sweatshirt over my head before heading inside my bed and crying myself sleep.
______________________________________________________________
New chapter!
Sorry for taking so long!
But thanks for getting 12 reads on my last chapter! That's amazing and it really made my day.
I have a test tomorrow and I had a math quiz today and I'm pretty sure I failed.
Anyway, I hope you still like my book and you have enjoyed this chapter. I know it got a little depressing near the end and I'm sorry!
I will update soon.
Thanks, Love you all!
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