OK SO I'M GOING TO TRY MY BEST TO DO THIS CHAPTER AS GOOD AS POSSIBLE BECUZ I LITERALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT I HAVE IN MIND I'M JUST WRITING FROM THE TOP OF MY HEAD..LIKE I'M PULLING THIS OUT MY ASS LOL SO BEAR WITH ME I HOPE U WILL LIKE IT.
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Chapter 12
Saturday
"Nevaeh I bought pizza..you hungry?" My mom said poking her head in my room. I shook my head no at her.
"I'm not hungry but thanks anyway" I said weakly smiling..she looked at me strange and slowly walked to me..I already know what she wants.
"Is everything ok..you been real quiet lately" she said looking at me with concern..there's so many thing swirling in my head it doesn't make any since.
"I'm fine mom my stomach been feeling weird" I lied.
"Omg....please don't tell me you're pregnant" she said gasping her chest. What the hell? Pregnant? From who? I never had sex and not planning to..that would be the first thing that pops in my mom's head.
"Mom..why would you say that" I said shaking my head, she shrugged her shoulders.
"Well it kinda makes since..you've been acting really weird..like you hiding something" she said looking at me.
Yeah I'm hiding more then you think.
"If you pregnant you can tell me Nevaeh...is its Michaels" mom said rubbing my knee...
What.the.fuck? I cant fathom what she just said right now..why the the fuck would I be pregnant and why would it be Michael's..I'll kill myself before that ever happen.
I took a breath calming down from how heated that made me, I look at her and just simply shook my head.
"No..mom I'm not pregnant..and if I was it will never be his" I said biting my lip from irritation..god just the sound of it makes my blood boil..I will never be that stupid.
"Ok good" she said sighing from relief. I chuckled looking at her.
"Mom I'm not even sexually active" I said laughing a bit. She giggled.
"Of course..you just been distant lately I thought you were trying to hide something" she said.
"No I'm fine" I faked smiled, she smiled back while standing up.
"Ok I'm was just checking on my daughter wanna makes sure she's alright" she said walking to the door. She winked at me and closed the door.
I gently fell back on my bed looking the ceiling. God..why am I still alive..what is my purpose? Why am I here..whats the point..if I was gone I wont be missed..why am I holding on still? If it wasn't for my mom..I would of ended my life a long time ago..its just me and her..who would she have? I cant leave her alone.
Before I started high school my life was so good..I actually had friends and we used to do everything together..but now they do what everyone else is doing..
I know what you thinking *What happened to Michael?*..do we have to talk about him..I actually don't know where he is I haven't saw him in three day..thank god. Ever since he been gone all his goons seemed to leave me alone but of course everyone else thinks they supposed to take his place and mess with me its like I cant get a break.
Why would I wanna know where Michael been he's not here messing with me and today is Saturday so I should feel good.
I don't wanna stay in my room all day today I already cut myself twice this morning if I stay in here any longer god know what I'll do.
Moments later
"Mom I'll be back I'm going for a walk" I yelled.
"Ok be back when the street lights come on" she yelled back.
I finally shut the door and head down the street...I'm going to my favorite spot other then the park..you remember I said I have a spot above the city where you see everything it's like you on top of the world its beautiful.
I sit there and just look at the city and let my mind rest and be at ease..everything just relax you all the tree's and the grass the wind the silence its very therapeutic.
While I'm walking down the street I see a guy walking my way..he looks like he's around my age and I never saw him before.
Oh shit we about to past each other.
I quickly looked down making sure we wont make eye contact.
"Hi" he said smiling while walking past me. I quickly said hi back.
Did he just smiled at me? Oh he must be new in the city no teenager smiles and say hi to me..well not the ones that go's to my school. I quickly turned and glanced at him hoping he's no following me...and he's not he just walking forward minding his business.
Yup he must be new.
And he probably gonna end up in my school and be just like the others..just wait.
After about fifteen for minutes of walking I finally made it here..I already feel some relief the energy here is amazing.
I walked to my little spot by the cliff and sat down crisscrossing my legs while taking my sweater off feeling the cool breeze and just relax looking at the city..oh gosh if only this was my backyard view that would be really cool..I would always be in my backyard taking in the beauty, it looks more beautiful when its dark..it looks like it would take forever to get all the way up here but it doesn't at all. This place is where I run to when I need to calm down and just take everything in...I just let my mind free its like my problems are flowing away with the wind and all I have is peace. I smile to myself feeling a little bit joy in my heart making me feel somewhat happy. I love that feeling.
After I been sitting here from what seems likes seconds I checked my phone to see the time..I have to be home before dark..mom's orders....its only 4:07pm I have plenty of time..I've been here for thirty minute..oh boy time sure do fly by fast don't it.
I smiled knowing how long I can stay here..which is just two more hours..I have to leave early so I can be home..I would hate to walk in the dark.
I put my phone back in my pocket and stated at the city once again enjoying myself. When suddenly I hear a very familiar voice..a voice I know way to well that sound like venom to my ears.
"Nevaeh?"
I froze everything turned black and white...no...No. no. no. no. no. no.
He cant be here..not here, anywhere else but here..this is MY place this where I actually feel somewhat happy he cant be here and ruin the only place I call mine I cant come here having Michael as a memory of this place it doesn't feel right..this place mean a lot to me and he's here..why does he have to ruin EVERY fucking thing I cant ever be happy..I cannot come here and Michael is the first thing that pops up in my head..NO i cant let that happen. I cant believe this.
Tears quickly filled my eyes as I hear him slowly approach me...
Why here.
As he finally reached me he squat down beside me looking me..guessing he notices my watery eyes he spoke.
"Hey whats wrong" Michael asked concerned. I kept quiet looking straight ahead...why here.
"Nevaeh are you ok?" Michael also asked. I shook my head disappointedly realizing this isn't gonna be my favorite place anymore and that's a huge stab in the heart I love this place so much I get away from everything while I'm over here..and my main problem is standing right next me..he fucked it up. It makes me so angry knowing I'm not gonna look at this place the same.
I clenched my teeth together heated from his presence.
"What are you doing here" I said lowly. He looked the city shrugging.
"I came here to view the city just like you are" he said looking straight ahead. I shook my head..omfg.
"Did you follow me?" I said not looking him..I can tell he turned his head looking at me.
"No..I didn't know you was here..i didn't even know you come here..I come here to think" he said. So this is his spot too.....great..even better. I rolled my eyes.
I didn't say anything and so didn't he..we both stayed quiet.
After being quiet for about ten minutes he spoke.
"How long have you been cutting?" He randomly asked softly, I forgot I took off my sweater he must of been watching my arms.
"Four years" I bluntly said. Fuck hiding it. He nodded his head knowingly.
"I see you just did new ones" he said turning back to the city.
"Yea" I whispered not knowing what to say.
We stayed quiet for a few minutes then he spoke again..damn it just leave already.
"Are you addicted to it" he softly asked.
Well duh cant you tell..both of my arms are covered.
"Yes" I said..he looked at me for a second.
"Do you ever try to stop" he asked again.
"Why are you asking me these questions" I said annoyed.
"Just trying to talk to you" he said smiling at me..god his smile is beautiful.
"I tried a few times then relapse" i said.
"When was the last time you relapse?" He asked.
"A year ago..I never stopped after that" I said looking down ashamed of myself..if I would have never relapse I would be clean right now.
"Do you need any help stopping" he asked....again. I stayed quiet this time..I might need help stopping but do I wanna stop is the question.
I slowly laid back on the grass looking up at the sky..there's not one cloud in the sky its beautiful. I lift my shirt up at little so I can feel the worm sun on my skin it feels so good especially since its cool out here. I laid here for a few minutes.
"When was the last time you ate something Nevaeh" Michael said deeply concerned. Shit how did I already forget he was there.
"This morning" I said blankly
"This morning? What was it that you ate" he also asked.. god damn it why is he question me. I admittedly got pissed off..what the fuck is he getting at.
"Stop asking me these fucking question Michael shit!!" I slightly yelled at him.
"Nevaeh this isn't healthy your so tiny" he said with wide eyes. I quickly sat up heated.
"Tiny? I'm not tiny Michael..I'm fat everyone calls me fat..remember you called me fat..if everyone think you fat then you must be fat so..I'm fat ok" I said while getting up grabbing my sweater and putting it on..I looked at my phone its 5:30pm its about that time Michael has ruined my mood once again...I know I'm being bitch but can you really blame me?
"Nevaeh I was being a ass again..everyone copy's me they a bunch of followers they know you not fat..But I can say you are way to small Nevaeh you cant continue like this" he said looking at me.
"Oh now you realize huh..I'm glad you finally coming to your sinces you can see how things are working at school" I said shaking my head.
"I know Nevaeh..look at your waist.. that's not good" he said point at my waist. I'm tired of this conversation I'm tired of arguing with him I'm done.
"Michael I'm going home its getting late" I said
then turned around walking away with him calling after me.
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YALL I'M SO TIRED RIGHT NOW LOL ITS 4:32am HERE...I KINDA RUSHED IT AT THE END BECUZ I NEED TO SLEEP BUT I REALLY WANNA GET THIS OUT I FUCKING HATE KEEPING YOU GUYS WAITING..I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THIS CHAPTER LIKE I SAID AT THE BEGANING I LITERALLY CAME UP FROM WORD TO WORD FROM THE TOP OF MY HEAD WHILE TYPING SO I HOPE I DID GOOD I USUALLY KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA WRITE BUT I WAS CLUELESS THIS TIME LOL
OK LEAVE A LOT OF NICE COMMENTS YOU GUYS I WANNA WAKE UP WITH ALL YOUR LOVE PLZ SURPRISE ME LOL (and i don't mean the one person spamming me) I WANT ALL OF YOU TO COMMENT NOT JUST A FEW LET ME KNOW IF U LIKED IT
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