Chapter One Hundred and Fifty Eight
My nap never came because Jak woke up while Horst and Woody were downstairs.
I only knew he was conscious because of the violent coughs and choking.
"My neck," he wheezed. "Horst...? Horst...?! Where are you?!"
I rocketed out of bed and sprang off the mattress, coming to rest beside him and pressing my hands flat against his chest to keep him from moving. His dark eyes landed on me, disoriented and confused and pained so I forced a reassuring smile.
"He's downstairs with Woody getting something to eat," I said gently, swallowing hard when he looked at me a little more closely and intently. "He'll be back in a little while but to be honest... he got lucky. Really lucky."
"What happened?" he rasped, raising a hand and touching his bandaged neck. "Why am I in so much pain? The last thing I can recall was talking to my boy, and then... nothing."
"What happened is... everyone's pretty much lost their mind because of hormones," I carefully murmured, rubbing his arm in a soothing manner. "One of your guys lost control of himself and broke your neck before attempting to assault Horst. I stopped him, of course, but he said things to the kid that he definitely shouldn't have heard, things that are... personal to you."
"What did he say?" Jak whispered, dark skin draining of color. "Tell me."
"He mentioned the incident, the one that... gave you Horst," I grimly admitted, squeezing his shoulder when he jerked; he hissed in pain, clutching his neck, but I held him still. "He was being really vicious and nasty about it so I don't think the kid took it too seriously, but still... I think it'd be better if you tried to talk to him about it at some point."
Jak said nothing, simply stared up at the ceiling with an expression of raw hopelessness.
"Who was it who assaulted me and my son?" he asked in a very quiet drone. "Tell me."
"Dave Meyer," I said just as quietly. "The younger of the Meyer brothers."
He sighed through his nose.
"When I am healed," he muttered, clenching his fists, "he will kneel... and I will kill him."
My stomach jerked and I immediately blurted, "like hell you will! You're not killing anyone from your pack! They're your family! People make mistakes, sometimes huge mistakes, and I think it would be better if the most you did was give him a very well-deserved ass beating."
"He broke my neck, bashed my head in until I lost consciousness, then tried to sexually assault my son, a fifteen year old child," Jak hissed at me, "while spewing personal traumas that were not his to disclose to anyone--least of all the person it would likely hurt the most."
"So, beat his fucking ass for it," I snorted, scowling at the memory. "Beat him black and blue, and if anyone bothers questioning you... go ahead and tell them what he did to you and your kid, put him to shame for it. Once you're satisfied... make him swear he'll never do it again, and then force him to apologize to everybody he hurt, especially Horst."
His eyes drifted to my face and stared me down.
"I'm lucky to be alive," he retorted. "Why are you so adamant about forgiveness?"
I sighed heavily and leaned forward, cupping his cheek. He twitched, seeming surprised by the gesture of affection, but I simply brushed the dark skin beneath his eyelid with my thumb.
"Because without it, this world would be total chaos," I whispered. "Please, Jak... just give the idiot his well-deserved ass kicking and make him apologize for doing what he did. You don't need to kill him over it... I mean, the guy has a brother and he's also part of your pack."
"Why should I show him mercy when he intentionally inflicted a killing blow on me?"
Confusion filled me. "Killing blow?"
"It's what we call attacks that would most certainly kill a normal human being," Jak explained, carefully raising a hand and gesturing to his neck. "Snapping someone's neck, for example, is considered a killing blow among our kind. We have rules within packs against using them... and not only did he snap my neck on purpose, he repeatedly bashed my skull in with a lamp."
"Do whatever you want to punish him as long as its not cold-blooded murder or torture," I said simply, shaking my head. "Please... there's already so many things happening. The last thing anyone needs is to grieve the death of someone who made a stupid choice because of the sexual frustration Bash's rut caused."
Jak let out an exasperated sigh.
"Fine... but heaven take you, you're a very irritating individual," he muttered, and although he sounded decidedly unimpressed he still pulled the blanket higher around him. I hummed an agreement, settling back on the floor.
"So I've been told," I murmured, rubbing my tired eyes; when I lowered my hand, Jak looked more resigned than annoyed. His eyes were staring straight up at the ceiling.
"How is Sebastian?" he asked, and I stared. "Has his rut ended yet?"
"No, its still going strong," I told him, grimacing. "It might be a few days."
"And what of you...?" he asked, glancing at me. "You have been crying. I can see it in your face and smell it from your body."
"Broke down about my sister," I said simply, not wanting to think about it. "With everything going on all at once, I haven't been able to think about it very much. A wave of it just hit me at random, but Horst and Woody were here to help me through it."
Jak turned his eyes back on the ceiling, but his features had twisted into a grimace.
"And Jasper?" he lowly quipped. "What do you intend to do if he comes back?"
My stomach plummeted at the thought. "I... I'll... I'll rip his eyes out and make him leave."
"Will you really?" he harshly demanded. "Because I don't think you have it in you to kill him if he comes back. You're fragile, Aerin... physically and emotionally, you are fragile. The fact is, if he's stupid enough to come back, you will likely wind up getting hurt again if your pack fails you."
I lowered my eyes and my hair slid across my shoulders, a stark reminder - more than the low iciness of pain - of what had actually happened.
All of their memories, replaced. Wiped away.
Every moment I'd spent fighting to prove myself, worthless within seconds.
Every touch, every glance, every step taken to stand as equals in life, gone.
When I didn't respond, Jak rubbed at his bloodshot eyes. He looked tired in that way that only trauma and grief could beget, a gauntness to his face that spoke of extreme prolonged stress. Hell, injuries aside, he looked thoroughly exhausted.
"Aerin... as much as I hate to say it," he ground out, refusing to meet my eyes, "you're a liability."
Well. That was... yeah. True, but still, rude.
"You're not like us," he continued. "You're a naive, gullible little lamb trying to prance among a pack of feral wolves with no regard to your own fragility. You may as well be walking around with a target painted on your back. What the hell are we gonna do if something happens to--?!"
His words suddenly degenerated into a bark of aggravation, claws slicing in to the wooden floor with a scraping, splintering, horrible sound. I kept my eyes on the floor, cowed by his question.
"What am I to you?" I asked quietly, and he froze, I saw it out of my peripherals. "Am I your friend, Jak? Or do you consider me to be part of your pack? Part of your family? A confident? Or, am I just somebody you know you can get advice from?"
"You have to ask?" he growled, dark eyes flaring to a bright amber glow for the first time in a very long while. "After everything I have said and the progress you have obviously made, what sort of question is that?"
"One that needs answering."
His face tightened in anger and he immediately snarled, "all of the above, you idiot!"
"Is that why, then?" I asked, dazed, and his face twisted in confusion. "Is that why I'm a liability?"
And that's when Jak lunged up, grabbed my arm, and proceeded to crush me.
I smacked the floor, dragged off balance, hair flying in an arc and landing all around me, and then there was his weight, the feeling of powerful legs pinning me down. I twitched when two heavy hands snatched my wrists and pinned them against the wood, ensnaring me.
His wide eyes were going yellow, brightening all the way to searing white, burning his pupils.
Wide glowing irises staring down with a level of rage that terrified me to my core.
"Stop it," he snarled, lips drawing back over sharp teeth; his face curled into a savage expression of hate that burned into my eyes, into my memory. "Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. I have had enough. No more sadness. No more doubting yourself. This is not you. This hopelessness, this grief, the scent of your heart being broken and wounded so easily, and the uncertainty... none of it is you. Stop it. Just stop it."
I stared at him when he punched the floor beside my head, chest heaving.
His face quickly covered itself in a sheen of sweat.
The hand that was digging into the wood lifted and moved to touch my sternum, just beneath my rib cage, pressing lightly with five fingers splayed out widely. A star of warmth that burned through my clothes and made me feel a little less alone. I went limp, suddenly feeling exhausted and oddly numb in a physical sense. I didn't move as he pressed down, hard enough to hurt.
His eyes were hypnotizing, pulsing with brilliant platinum luminescence, but only one thought came to me as I lay there.
"I can't," I said, staring up at him sadly. "I am what I am... and right now... what I am is sad. Lost. Grieving. I know that you, Horst, and everyone else is here... that I can reach out at any time, but even if I do I won't stop being sad. My heart broke the night my sister died. It broke the night I saw Jasper and Sebastian... together. I'm messed up, Jak... I honestly... feel kinda broken."
It was strange, putting it into words.
Here I was, taking one day at a time and dealing with crazy event after crazy event like nothing had ever happened. Everyone was being considerate of me lately, keeping me distracted, but I couldn't really smile the same way I had before that night.
I was too sad and depressed to muster a real one.
The part of me that had always been optimistic and trying to find the bright side of every bad situation felt like it had been crushed the moment I'd walked in to see the guy I'd very hesitantly given my all to writhing beneath the one who'd pretty much tried to wipe me out of my own life.
I no longer had the same emotional drive and eagerness to help others.
I alternated between letting sadness rule me and fighting to hide that it was ruling me.
Jak leaned down, moving so quickly it almost made me jump, and then his lips touched my forehead. I blinked, staring at his throat, feeling the way his hand moved a little higher before digging into my sternum, as if to keep me from moving. His lips seared my skin so much that when he finally pulled away I could only stare stupidly at those harsh white eyes.
"What was that for?" I whispered.
"An apology," he retorted, lip curling in fury, "for my selfish words. It... hurts, Aerin. To see you suffering, to know that you are, and to not have any control or means to help. I can do nothing to make this pain go away. It makes me angry."
"I'm sorry."
Jak rolled his eyes. "For someone so perceptive you're awfully good at being blind."
I cracked a grin, a real one. "That's my specialty."
He rolled his eyes again and they finally dimmed.
I lay still as he crawled off of me, hand vanishing from my sternum as he rose.
"Well," he uttered, bending down and extending the hand that had been warming me, "let's put it to use, then. Come. Let us head down into the chaos."
"Why?" I asked, startled. "Going down there right now wouldn't be smart."
"Perhaps not, but when have you ever been that?" he questioned, and I cringed.
"Fair enough," I mumbled, taking his hand and letting him pull me upright. "Just so you know, though, people are being extremely aggressive and it has everyone in Bash's pack on edge. Some other guys tried to go for Kyle and ended up in a brawl with Richard. Ah, and last I saw Leo he was keeping Kip, Louise, and Jun in the pantry, well out of harm's way."
"It is typical behavior when one falls into a rut or heat," Jak said distastefully, then looked at me with a sharp glance. "It affects me as well. I have been heavily tempted this entire time to let go of my sanity and rip your clothes off to do unspeakable things to you."
I jerked back a step or two, eyeing him warily. "Why are you telling me this?"
"Because it is true," he muttered, not meeting my eye. "Your lover's heat-scent clings to your skin. It is like... a poison that frenzies the mind and drives the body ragged with desire. Many weaker minded wolves are driven to do things that they would never even attempt with a clear head. Many more regret losing the battle against their own bodies. It is dangerous, mon."
I swallowed hard, touching my slightly aching rear as Sebastian's actions came to mind.
"This doesn't seem like a good idea then," I muttered. "We should stay up here and wait for Woody and Horst to come back."
"Or you can come with me and we can do something to help everyone calm de fuck down," he calmly shot back, pricking my ears. "I know a method that could help calm everyone's blood, but it will require a bit of on-hand helpfulness."
I wasn't in a mood to argue so I just shrugged and said, "okay."
He smirked and turned, heading over to the door and extending his hand. The knob creaked as he turned it, and then he was stepping out into the hall. I shrugged again on the inside and followed him, heading down the hall towards the stairs. I kept a close eye on him while we walked, particularly on the makeshift brace keeping his injury still.
"How's your neck feeling?" I asked, jumping down the last two steps and dogging his heels; I heard no more arguing from anywhere nearby but that didn't mean I wasn't on guard. "Is the brace I put together helping at all?"
"A little," he snorted, raising a careful hand and brushing my question aside. "Then again, I'm in a great deal of pain and no amount of bracing can fix that. It's going to hurt until its healed."
I frowned, hating that he had a point.
I cast an offhanded glance in the now-empty sitting room as we passed it but kept my focus on the man in front of me. I heard a great deal of voices talking from the kitchen the closer we got to it and although there was no more fighting from the sounds of things I still braced myself for the worst. I thought I'd gotten used to strange events happening all around me, but walking into the kitchen to be greeted by screeching wall of lightning in the shape of a dragon was a new one.
"Holy shit!" I screamed, lunging backwards and smacking into the remnants of the busted kitchen door; I squinted at the blinding, monstrous creature. "What the the hell is that?!"
To my confusion, I heard a surprising uproar of male laughter.
"It's a hologram you doofus," someone hooted. "We're playing Dungeons and Dragons!"
I squinted past the creature as it roared, realizing with a feeling of surprise that it was, in fact, translucent and somewhat digital-looking. I managed to spy Woody, Horst, Kyle, Louise, Kip, Jun, Richard, Leo, Darryl, Sam, and a good portion of the Derkshires sitting in the kitchen.
Including Rex, who was smirking past Jak and right at me at with an expression I hated. All of them were leaning over a game board, a plethora of dragons, knights and swords all carved from wood dancing around their heads.
"Pop!" Horst cried, instantly lunging to his feet. "You're awake?! Are you okay?"
Someone pushed a button on the holographic display and the dragon vanished,
"I am fine," Jak said, raising a hand when everybody lunged to their feet and stared at the brace with stunned, pissed, or downright murderous eyes. "Return to what you were--"
"Who hurt you bad enough to warrant support for your neck?" Darryl demanded, cracking his knuckles with a murderous glint in his eyes. "Name him."
"Stand down," Jak said, puffing his chest out and holding his head high; Darryl bristled and the two males glared at each other for nearly thirty seconds before the blonde caved and reluctantly averted his eyes. The Jamaican man instantly relaxed. "I am fine. We will deal with my injury, as well as who caused it, at a more appropriate and less chaotic time."
"Are you okay?" Buck asked. "Is it broken?"
"It is, but I will recover," Jak said flatly, then gestured at the board. "How did this come about?"
"You mean the game?" Kyle asked; I noticed that both he and Richard had changed out of their bloodied clothes. "It was my idea to play it. Everyone's been kinda high-strung and messed up so I figured, why not play some games to get our minds off of our ugly hormonal reactions?"
"Good idea," I said, stepping over the debris of the door and padding inside. "So, Dungeons and Dragons, huh?"
"Yep," Louise deadpanned from her spot against the far wall; I noticed right around that moment that she was sitting on a blanket with her sleepy-eyed and pale-faced little brother curled against her side. Leo was sitting in a chair directly to her left, one leg folded over his knee.
I looked at her a little more attentively and asked," how are you two holding up?"
"You mean aside from being assaulted and nearly raped?" she tartly demanded, and I flinched at the acid in her tone. "Peachy. Tell me, when is Sebastian going to get his ass back up here?"
"When it stops making everyone here wanna fuck it, Lady," Richard barked, and everyone flinched, even me. "Shut yer yap unless you're rolling the dice."
"You know?" she sighed, clucking her tongue. "When I become a werewolf, I think your ass is the first one that's gonna get a very mean-tempered stiletto between the cheeks."
"Yeah, yeah, keep dreamin,'" Richard sneered, rolling his eyes. "Oi, Dreads, its your move."
"Aerin," Louise said, and I glanced at her again. "Can I talk to you?"
"Uh, sure," I agreed, nodding and motioning for her to follow me. "Come on."
She rose, letting go of her brother who made to get up as well; she instantly put a hand on his shoulder and sat him back down on the blankets with a stern stare.
"You stay here," she said seriously. "I need to talk with him alone."
"Not happening," Kip squeaked, instantly trying to struggle against her; Leo reached around her arm and planted a huge hand on his other shoulder, forcing him to sit on his ass.
"Respect your elders, whelp," he deadpanned. "If your sister says stay, you stay."
Kip tried to shrink out of his grasp but Leo had him pretty tight. Louise gave him an oddly calculating look that matched his own bizarre glance before rolling her eyes and sashaying her way over to where I was standing. I wasn't oblivious to the hungry stares she garnered.
Chills shot down my spine and I reached out, snagging her hand.
"Come on," I muttered, pulling her out into the hall and making my way around the corner; she seemed confused when I led her all the way to the front doors and took her outside. The confusion increased as I pulled her down the porch steps and around the side of the house.
"Is it really necessary to go this far just to talk?" she asked, squeezing my hand.
"Yep," I chirped. "Unless you want every person in that house hearing what you want to tell me."
"Um, fat chance of that--"
"Actually, one hundred percent chance of that," I said seriously, stopping in my tracks and turning to face her. I let our clasped hands drop and rubbed at the cast keeping my arm stiff, grimacing since it began to itch almost instantly. "They have supernatural senses. They can pretty much hear and smell everything happening inside that building at any point in time."
"How?" she scoffed. "If that's the case, it would mean that nobody has any privacy!"
I gave her a blunt stare and watched as the realization slid into her features.
"You're serious?" she asked, startled. "You mean to tell me that there isn't any privacy among those creatures? Like, at all?"
"Only semblances of it," I admitted. "They typically keep a respectful silence when intimate things take place between couples, but now and again they make embarrassing comments that clearly state they can hear and smell and sense what's happening inside their home."
Louise just stood there and stared. I stared back.
After a while, though, my attention wandered so I looked at the property.
The long driveway with the huge, gorgeous trees stretching in a symmetrical path towards the house, and then the forests which had grown in over the years due to lack of proper care. Apparently the whole "ignore the problem until it goes away" strategy wasn't working, because when I finished staring at my surroundings Louise was still there.
Staring.
Without blinking.
Somehow I accidentally ended up in a staring contest with my therapist.
I refused to lose.
"So... you two gonna kiss or what?"
We both jumped and turned to see a somewhat familiar face lurking in the shadows. I searched my thoughts for his name, since the guy was a Derkshire wolf, and Bruno something came out of the dark... but for whatever reason his face simply didn't match it. He looked ethnic, possibly even Arab, and had coal black hair with a very thin mustache. He was a handsome guy.
I remembered, vaguely, that he talked very little and preferred to sit far away from everyone.
"Jesus," Louise breathed, patting her chest. "You know, usually when creepy men lurk around people's houses to stare at them they at least bring candy."
The man blinked, smirked back, and replied, "that's an amusing observation."
"Thanks," she drawled, "it's an honor to have my wit be appreciated by a not-so-mythical creature."
He gave her what anybody else would see as a charming smile and said, "Randal Singh."
Louise tilted her head and warily replied, "Louise Bardot."
Randal stared some more. Didn't come any closer. Just watched. Observed.
A sudden chill ran down my spine and I stiffened, eyes flicking to the left as a bit of movement caught my attention between the trees. It was faint, and I couldn't be sure what it was that I had seen, but I swore I'd heard something. I let my eyes flit forward, sidling closer to Louise.
"I'm Aerin," I said, and his gaze turned to me. "You already know that, though, I assume."
"I do," he said with a smile that lit up his eyes; he grinned, showing teeth, and I admit I was a little taken aback by how genuine his expression was. "You're the little vampire who could. It is because of you that certain people in our pack are thriving and why we have a brand new beach house to start a better, much happier life in. We owe you quite a bit."
So saying, he inclined his head.
"No, you don't owe me anything," I said with a smile, shrugging. "I'm glad I was able to help, but I've been thanked more than enough and there's still a lot for everyone to work through. It's still gonna be rough... even with the nudges in the right direction."
"We're still grateful," Randal mused, turning his attention to Louise. "I have a request, however."
"Oh?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "What is it?"
"Could you please go back inside?" he asked, and we both stared. "I came out here to breathe away from the others. I am... the most at risk of losing myself. I have only been a werewolf for about seven years and I cannot really control myself the way others can. I am... very susceptible to instinctual behaviors. I am afraid that your Alpha's rut has... affected me profoundly."
"Oh," Louise said, blinking. "Of course. My apologies."
He kept a careful distance but nodded and smiled winningly. Louise turned to go, and I twisted to follow her... but then, I heard it.
That sound.
The one that I thought had been erased from my life forever.
Click.... whir...
The werewolf behind me obviously heard it, too, because when I whipped around I saw that his head had snapped to look off in the direction of the dark with a confused frown and alert eyes.
Click.... whir...
My hair stood on end and I scanned the dark in terror, clenching my fists.
Click.... whir... click.... whir...
"Aerin?" Louise called, sounding perplexed. "What are you doing? Aren't you coming? I still have to--"
"Get inside!" I called, quickly backing away. "Get inside right now!"
"Huh?"
"JUST GO!" I cried, then turned to look at Randall, who was staring at me oddly. "YOU TOO! COME INSIDE!"
"Why?" he asked, tilting his head. "What was that sound?"
Instead of trying to explain, I hummed a sprightly little melody and lunged towards him, skidding to a halt in front of his body. He jumped when I snatched his wrist, meeting his eyes.
"I associate that sound with vampire stalkers," I whispered, and his eyes popped open wider than dinner plates, startled to the core. "We need to go talk to the others right now. That sound doesn't mean anything good at all, so let's go!"
He said nothing else and allowed me to drag him towards the door, following Louise.
Behind me, chilling me to the bone, I heard the sound... as if it were taunting me.
Click.... whir...