Hades' POV
Dionysus is going to dare me? This will be good...
"I want you to streak across Olympus." he told me in a bored tone as if he had better things to do. What did he want me to do? It must have been something embarrassing because my idiot brothers began to snicker. To calm myself and resist the urge to strangle them, I imagined them having an old Western trial for being the Most Obnoxious Brothers on the Planet. It ended with them getting a noose around the neck. The thought made me smile on the inside.
"Hades, will you stop glaring at us like you wish to stab us?" Poseidon asked, still trying to hold in his laughs.
"Not stab, strangle," I thought. "Close but no cigar."
"Yeah, Hades. Just get the dare over with." said my youngest brother, damn him- wait, nevermind. That means I'll have to be stuck with him. Then well... what do kids say these days?... ah, yes. Screw him! Ugh, now I sound like my annoying nephew, Dionysus. The only reason I said his name is because you wouldn't know what nephew I was talking about. Stupid brother spawns children faster than the bachelor breaks women's hearts(in fact, my brother does that faster too).
"Do I look like a comet to you?" I asked. "I don't 'streak' like one! What the heck is streaking?!"
My brothers couldn't take it anymore. They both burst out laughing. Suddenly, the Western trial became more violent. I gritted my teeth.
"What's so funny?" I asked through my clenched teeth.
"It means you run around Olympus naked!" Aphrodite squealed like the thought of seeing me naked thrilled her. I paled(yes, it's possible!).
"She's not serious..." I said. Then I looked at the rest of my family's faces. "Yep, she's serious."
Sending my most murderous look at Dionysus, I went outside to strip. Persephone followed me outside(what can I say? The ladies just can't resist me).
"I'll wait here for you." she told me. I slipped off my robe and watched, amused, as her face flushed a deep pink.
I told her, "We should really see more of each other like this after we're done with this wretched game."
This caused her to blush some more.
"Uncle Hades!" I heard my other nephew, Hermes, call out. I tried not to blush because the lord of the dead does not blush. I just don't like anyone besides my wife(and woman I am fond of) seeing me butt naked.
"What do you want, insect?" I hissed. He pulled out a camera, unfazed.
"Dad told me to film this. Is that okay?" he asked. Then my face started to flush in anger. Zeus! That little, stupid-!
...Then, I got an idea. If my brother wants to film this to embarrass me, fine. Two can play at that game.
"Alright, just give me a second." I told Hermes. He nodded and I began to change my form.
Hermes gaped and said, "You look like-"
"Shh!" I hissed. "This is... a... uh... prink!"
"Prink?" he asked confused. "Wait... do you mean prank?"
"Yes, that!" I said. "This is a prank! So, do you want to help me prank your father?"
Hermes nodded excitedly.
"Just get the camera ready for when I start running," I told him. He lifted the camera and pointed it at me.
"Ready... set... action!" Hermes said and I raced off hearing my wife mutter, "Zeus is so going to kill him..."
For the next five minutes, a naked Zeus(me in disguise for you slow mortals who hadn't figured it out) streaked across Olympus. What can I say? It's not like all the woman on Olympus hasn't seen his body like this already.
Zeus' POV
I couldn't resist but smile after I had the brilliant idea to send Hermes out to film Hades while he streaked across Olympus. All the while, Hera had to rain down on my parade as she gave me a lecture about how to be a better sibling and why I shouldn't do stuff like this. Poseidon, however, seemed to be finding everything about this hilarious.
Hestia's cellphone beeped and she pulled it out. Someone had sent her a picture. I couldn't see it well but it looked like a naked person running across the streets of Olympus. That would probably be Hades. The text at the top said something like, 'Lol! Look at this pic I just snapped! Look at who's streaking across Olympus.'
Hestia blushed slightly, looking like she was hoping no one noticed that. Then she pressed a few buttons and saved the photo. After that, she slipped the phone back into her pocket.
"Who's turn is it now?" I asked.
"Mine." Hephaestus said. Then he turned towards my wife. Uh oh. This won't end well. Hades and Hermes choose then to slip back inside. "Queen Hera, truth or dare?"
"Truth." she answered immediately, knowing that the other choose wouldn't be safe for her health.
"How do you feel about the fact that the majority on Olympus rated your beauty at a 4 on a scale from 1 to 10?" he asked. I winced. Ouch. She wasn't going to like that. He face turned a bright red.
"You idiot-!" she began.
"-Just answer the question, Hera." I interrupted her, not wanting to hear her yell at him again.
"I feel angry." Hera answered Hephaestus.
"I know! The least they should do is get it right!" Apollo said, grinning like he does when he's about to make a joke. "It's really a 3!"
"Nah, don't be so modest," Hermes told him, also grinning. "It's a 1 at best."
"Your both wrong! It's a 0.2!" Ares said and they all laughed.
"Technically, you can't go that low when the scale's minimum is 1." Athena informed them. Ares shrugged.
"Whatever. But we can all agree that she is a 1 then?" he asked. Almost everyone at the table said yes. Me, being the good husband that I am, decided I better not say anything.
"Queen Hera is rather ugly." Artemis mumbled. Apollo's grin grew.
"Yeah! She looks like Echidna!" he said laughing. The others joined him. Hera sat there, her temper rising.
"I'm right here you know!" she shouted at them but they completely ignored her(which, I don't know how they did. I can never find a way to ignore her).
"She's so plain." Poseidon pointed out.
"And her hair is hideous." Hades added, smirking.
"Also, there is a reason Queen Hera didn't get picked by Paris!" Aphrodite felt the need to say.
"Because you cheated!" Hera screeched.
"If her hair was all shaved off," Persephone said. "She'd still look as hideous."
"Nice one." Hermes complemented. Then he and Apollo glanced at each other like they were getting an idea.
"Also, I personally find it funny that Hera believes that make-up makes her pretty at all." Dionysus said, his lips curling into the faintest smile.
"How about we stop making fun of Hera now?" Hestia asked, frowning with displeasure.
"Fine." they all mumbled reluctantly, not about to argue with Hestia.
"Let's continue this tomorrow." Hera said, getting up out of her seat.
"But-" Ares started.
"-We're stopping the game tonight!" she said, giving him a glare that would make Medusa cringe.
"Yes, mom." he muttered, obviously not pleased. We all left the game while Hermes and Apollo sat beside each other and began talking like they do when they have a plan. Ugh. They better not get their step-mom angry...
Apollo's POV
"So, you thinking what I'm thinking?" Hermes asked me. I grinned. Oh yeah! I knew exactly what he was thinking.
"Prank Hera?" I asked, raising an eyebrow in a cocky way.
"We can slip hair removal into her shampoo." Hermes replies, grinning like the mad genius that he is. I returned the grin until a thought occurs to me.
"Wait... can't she just grow it back with her immortal powers?" I asked. Hermes shrugs.
"This isn't the first time I've done it," he said. "I've made a hair removal that takes days before your immortal powers can work to grow it back!"
"Hermes, you are the man!" I said, fist-bumping him. Time for all Hades to be released...