Edited: 30/05/24
Reuploaded: 30/05/24
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"You what?" Temari looked at me just as heartbroken as I felt.
"I don't remember anything from before coming here," I managed to stop my tears enough to get out steady words, "I can't remember my Dad's name, my Mum's. I can't remember their faces. I don't even remember the names or faces of closest friends. How did I even end up here in the first place? Why am I here? What happened to me?"
None of them seemed to know what to say to me but Gaara just slid to the floor and knelt in front of me, holding my hands on my lap as he looked up.
"You're y/n. You are and always will be y/n," he told me, reaching up and wiping away tears from my eyes that were threatening to fall again, "your Father was called f/n, your Mother was called m/n. You came to us from another world, a world so much more different to ours. I don't know how you came here either, I don't think you ever told us, but you've been with us for a while now."
"Your past doesn't make you who you are," Temari sat beside me and took one of my hands into hers, resting her head against my shoulder, "of course it's a bit part but it's not completely who you are. It's hard, I can imagine that, but you can make new memories."
"But what about the people I've left behind?" I asked her.
"They wouldn't want you to be upset over their loss of you or your loss of them," she told me, giving my hand a small squeeze.
"What do I do?" I asked, "I feel lost."
"You live," Kankuro said as he stopped next to Gaara and looked at me with a mix of a worry and determination, "you live and become a whole new... but the same... you. You live as y/n. You are no different from the y/n we met that day in the hospital after you were healed from close death—by the way too reoccurring a theme here, stop dying—you're stronger, you are a better nin. But you are not different. You are still the y/n we all know and love. You're our little sister, our little brother's fiancée."
"We love you," Temari sat up and looked at me sadly, "you are our family. And we will always love you not matter what happens. If you decide that it's time for a whole new y/n with the loss of the old memories, then you can do that, and we will love you still just as much as we do now. And if you don't, then we will still love you."
I took a small breath before looking away and pulling my hands back.
"Do I need to rebuild who y/n is?" I asked, "to feel a sense of me?"
"No," Gaara shook his head, standing and looking at me, "you can be you in anything and everything. The way you live, the way you fight, the people you love, the people you hate. You don't have to rebuild anything if you didn't want to."
I let out a sigh, "I guess so. I don't know what to do from here. What do I do? Living is good and all but what do I do?"
"Well," Gaara took my left hand and adjusted the ring on my finger, "we can start by getting married. But if you don't want to anymore, I do understand and I'm happy to wait for whenever you're ready and happy with who you are."
He cupped my cheeks with his hands and leaned forward but not getting too close, his voice lowered to a whisper, "I adore you. Every part of you. All of you. Each version of you. I adore you so much that I will wait for the world for you."
"Thank you, Gaara," I smiled, leaning into his hands slightly before pulling away and looking at Temari and Kankuro, "and you. Thank you, you two, too."
"Of course," Temari smiled.
"What are siblings for, right?" Kankuro asked.
I just exhaled a small laugh before looking at Gaara, "I still want to marry you. I want to see the future we can have and the world we can make. I want to be part of this family."
He smiled and nodded, "and we want you too. But, I feel like there's a but... right?"
I nodded and just took a moment before taking his hand, "let's... not rush. Can I have a year? Just a year to sort out everything in my head, rebuild somethings?"
"Of course," he nodded, giving my hand a squeeze, "I will wait for as long as you need."
"I appreciate you so much, Gaara," I told him, "and I love you—all of you. No matter what."
I looked at Temari and Kankuro, "you're my siblings."
And then Gaara, "you're my soulmate. I will forever love all of you. No loss of memories can change that. I swear that is the undeniable truth."
"Oh, y/n," Temari threw herself at me, hugging me tightly before Gaara joined in and Kankuro let out a 'hey what about me?' and joined in.
It doesn't matter what I do or don't remember.
Whether I am confident I am who I am.
The love I have from just these three people alone... that's enough for me.
How lucky I was to fall in front of Sunagakure's gates that day so long ago. I could not have asked for a better family.
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A day later_
"So were there any survivors or not? Stop being so cryptic and just tell me!" I snapped at Shizune, I'm getting bored of this game of 'let's not tell y/n anything'. It's really getting on my last nerve. No—it has fully jumped all over my last nerve, picked it up, tossed it off a cliff, dragged it through the salty depths of the ocean and launched it fully up into the heavens above without sick of this I am.
"There were two survivors," she finally gave me the straight answer everyone else refused to give me, "yourself and Ao of the hidden mist."
And the answer was not the answer I wanted to hear.
Was I not strong enough?
Or was I just not fast enough?
How... in the end, how did I only save two lives out of so many.
"So I didn't help anyone out much," I looked down sadly taking a breath and sighing, "damnit."
"The best thing is you tried to, y/n, you really did!" she started to try and console me, but I was just feeling an increasing sense of disappointment in my own abilities, "all their bodies are being sent to their villages as we speak, and we'll be leaving soon as well."
I just nodded and turned and walked out the tent.
What a joke... I used my energy to do nothing, I changed nothing, people died anyway.
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Days later_
The sand siblings and I walked back into our home.
It was quiet and dusty. Nice. Just what you want after a traumatic war, dust.
"I've never been so happy to see this place," Kankuro sighed as he flopped down on one of the armchairs, "I'm so happy to have a seat that isn't wooden or the floor. Dust and all!"
I nodded in agreement when I sat on the three man sofa with Gaara and one side of me and Temari on the other.
"I'm just glad we're all alive," Temari said as she dropped her head on my shoulder.
"Yeah," Gaara agreed, doing the same.
"What am I? A pillow?" I asked but didn't get a response, so I looked down. They both were sleeping soundly. I glanced over to Kankuro to see him the same.
They must've been so tired after everything.
Rest well. You deserve it.