Here are some songs that I listened to while writing this chapter.
24 horas - CNCO
Before the strom - Miley Cyrus ft Jonas Brothers
Cometa - CNCO
Everybody's Changing - Keane)
This morning I woke up because Baby kept on licking and spreading his saliva all over my face.
I need to run some chores today, buy Baby's puppy food and toys for him to stop eating all of my slippers.
I pet him and he followed me to the bathroom, watching me pee, watching me brushing my teeth and washing my face.
He followed me literally everywhere, lazy ass Christopher is still sleeping with his mouth wide open. Hopefully this place doesn't have flies around.
Going inside the kitchen, I cook pancakes and pour a glass of milk for me. Baby is going to eat another chicken stripes for today until I bought puppy food for his diet.
I sent mom a text last night before going to bed that I adopted a puppy here and she reminded me this morning to send the puppy to the vet for vaccination and I need to scheduled that.
As I was enjoying my breakfast on the dining table, I was hoping that Chris is awake by now but no dude is still sleeping.
I sighed, was it such a long flight for him that he's completely dead now.
So I poked him with my fingers, he groaned "What the fuck do you want." He hissed.
Oh. Language.
"Is that how you treat someone who let you stay at their place for free?" I asked, annoyed I grab the pillow and hit his head hard enough for him to wake up.
It's almost eleven in the morning, he needs to stop being a lazy ass.
He grab me by my wrist and pulled me to the couch with him, I screamed and struggled to get way from him but he was enjoying it.
Baby kept on barking at us. It seems like Baby is pissed or something, I'm not so sure but he was barking.
Christopher laughed and hugged me instead, "Hey puppy, calm down."He said to Baby.
I slapped his arm and stood up, he looked at me with a frown. "Get up and go take a shower or something." I said.
He sighed, "Jesus, Valerie you're no fun at all. I wanted to cuddle with you for awhile." He said then he walked to the bathroom.
I pouted, I enjoyed it just now too but it's just we need to take it slow this time.
I hope he knows it's still hard for me to figure everything out.
I hope he understands.
So I entered my room to change my clothes because today I'm going to take a look at my new college here.
I'm super excited and I cannot wait to meet everyone.
Yes how new is that for me, the old me was extremely shy and hard to socialize.
The old me was always with my best friend but I guess people changed after something happened to them.
After I apply a light makeup on, Christopher appeared at my back and I look at his reflection in the mirror "What?" I asked.
"Where are you going?"
"To my new college."
His eyes widened, "Wait what? I thought you were just taking a vacation."
I smirked.
"Valerie.." He called me with a begging tone, almost sounded like he wanted something from me.
"What?"
"You're leaving New Jersey for good now? You're not gonna come back anymore?" He asked.
I nodded.
That's not the truth, I'm here for a new start but I will come back to New Jersey, I just don't want to tell him.
I wanna see him making some effort. If he really wants me then he will do anything to stay here or he can run away and find another girl.
He looked sad, he sat on the edge of my bed. "So is this a sign that you wanna break up with me?" He asked.
Pardon? Is he stupid or what? I never wanted anyone else. I've always wanted him and he can't even see it.
"I never say anything about it." I said.
His eyebrows furrowed, "But you clearly showed it." He said.
"Show what?"
He looked so frustrated that he stood up and point a finger at me, "You kept pushing me away! Ghaddamnit Valerie I came here to take you home!" He shouted and my eyes widened.
"Excuse me!" I stood up from my chair this time.
"I didn't ask you to come."I said, pissed off.
I saw his shoulders slump, "If you wanna break up with me just say the word and I'll leave you alone." He said.
This time I almost felt like I'm going to cry, why can't he understand that I need some space and I don't want to lose him but for now I need to be alone.
Why is he so complicated? Why am I so complicated?
"Chris..I don't want to break up with you." I said, defeated. I sat on the edge of my bed with my head down.
He sat next to me, pulling me closer. Cupping my face, he made me look at him.
He is so beautiful.
"Then don't push me away. Come home." He said.
I shake my head and move away from him, he still doesn't get it.
I moved out from New Jersey to get away with things and most importantly from him but he's here and it's making me hard to move on.
Honestly, I have no idea what I'm gonna do. All I know is I'm so stupid for acting this way but I need to put myself as a priority. I need time to heal.
I lost the most important person in my life and it's hurting me everyday. I need time to heal.
"You should go back to New Jersey." I said with a sigh then I grab my bag and left my room.
He didn't follow me and I know I was really harsh and cold towards him. I gave him mixed feelings but I will never change my mind. I'm staying here until I finished college.
He will wait for me if he wanted to, I did told him the truth that I don't wanna break up with him ever.
I love him so much.
I just want him to give me some space.
Whether he gets it or not. I'm staying here.
....
So after the whole tour around my new college, I finally having my lunch at this pizza restaurant with my fellow new friend called Kevin.
Yes he is a boy and he's my age. He's very friendly, he was the one showed me around the campus and everything.
He suggested me to lived at the dorms but I refused. I have my own apartment anyways.
Oh did I mentioned he's gay? Yeah he is gay.
"So I dated this one boy and he wanted me to give him a blowjob right away but I was like dude I barely know you? Ew." He said and I laughed.
He's very open with his sex life and I'm quite surprise with what he just told me.
We just met and he's sharing all these details with me.
"So you rejected him." I said and he nodded.
"I prefer straight boys to be honest." He said and I giggled.
"Straight boys are your type."I said and I almost choked on my pizza because straight boys like straight girls but I don't want to hurt his feelings.
He seems like a nice person.
He smiled, "For sure girl..ugh they are so hot and just damn. My type is tall, musculine but not too much and super cute face." He said in the most sassy tone ever.
"Did you date any straight boys before?" I asked and he pouted sadly.
"No, I wish." He said.
"You can always try again." I said and he laughed. "Yeah when I become a transgender."
I heard my phone rang and it's my skype that's ringing.
"Excuse me for a minute, I need to answer this."I told Kevin and answered the call immediately.
"Valerie where are you?" Chris said and I clucked my tongue. Impressed he is still here or probably on his way to the airport.
"I'm in this pizza restaurant having my lunch. What do you want?" I asked .
He sighed, "Can you come home because Baby pooped on your bed. Hate to say this but it stinks a lot." He said.
My eyes widened, omg Baby!
I sighed heavily, without saying anything. I just ended the call and grab my bag.
"Kevin I need to go home like right now. I have an urgent." I said and he nodded.
"It's okay Valerie, I'll pay for this. Text me when you arrived." He said.
I smiled, "Thank you so much Kevin. I promise I will pay for next time when we have lunch or dinner."
He nodded with a smile, "It's okay and you're welcome."
I ran out from the restaurant and I saw Hans waiting for me just infront of this restaurant.
I sighed in relieved, thank God he's here. Thank my parents for hiring him to be my assistant/ helper.
"Hans we need to go home like right now before my whole bedroom smells." I said.
For goodness sake, Chris can't even help me change the sheet or something. He is a pig.
I forgot to buy Baby his diaper last night. I am so clumsy. I hate the smell of poop.
Thank goodness just now I bought everything that Baby needs to stay in the apartment.
When we arrived, I ran to my apartment and when I open my bedroom door. There I saw Chris and Baby playing and cuddling.
"What is the meaning of this?" I asked.
He sit up straight, "You're here oh and I changed the sheet for you. It's in the washing machine right now. I also sprayed the room with a refresher spray and you're welcome." He said while petting Baby's head.
"Oh thank you, you shouldn't do that but thanks." I said.
He nodded, scratching the back of his neck. "So you wanna accompany me to get lunch? I haven't eat anything."He said.
"Since you helped me with this.. then yeah sure." I smiled.
I pet Baby and gently put on his puppy diapers so he won't pee or poop randomly making this place smells and dirty.
"Let me know when you're ready then we can go get lunch." I said.
I smiled a little, how can I ever say no I don't love this man anymore.
The truth is I really love this man and I always will. Maybe a lunch with him won't hurt at all.
My heart fluttered and it felt like back when everything is the way it was.
He hold my hand and I gladly intertwined my fingers with him as we walk at the street.
"We can get chinese here if you want. This restaurant seems nice." I pointed at it.
He nodded, "Maybe we should give it a try." He said and we entered.
After we ordered our food, I decided to ask him a question. "So when are you going back to the States?"I asked.
And he sighed, "Next week."He said.
Oh, he is leaving so soon.
This is what I wanted from him to give me some space but why do I feel so sad about it knowing that he's leaving so soon.
My ego is so stupid that I don't even have the courage to ask him if he's coming back here.
What am I kidding, this is not a Cinderella or any fairytale story. This is reality and I know he won't bother to stay longer here with me.
What the hell is wrong with me. First I pushed him away and now I wanted him to stay here with me.
"Well then I think you should buy some souvenirs." I said and he nodded .
"You're right. Do you know anywhere I can buy them?" He asked and I lazily sighed.
"Do I look like I'm a local here? I will call Hans and ask him." I said.
And he giggled, "I love it when you sigh like that. You look so cute."
"Shut up."
He leaned closer to me then pinched my cheek, "Adorable."
"Cringe!" I rolled my eyes.
He imitate me but overacting, "Cringe!" He sounded like a dying rat.
It's almost six in the evening when we arrived in my apartment. We were walking and enjoying the city of Kuala Lumpur just now.
Now that we're back in my apartment and Baby was so adorable wiggling his butt, he looked so excited just to see us both.
"You know the couch is super uncomfortable." He said.
I scoffed with my arms crossed, "So?" I raised a brow.
"Can I sleep with you on the bed?" He asked shamelessly.
I gulped and looked away.
"Oh come on." He pouted.
"You can but I will put a pillow in the center so we can have our own sides. You can't go near me. Got it?" I warned.
He nodded with a smirk, "Aye mam."
"Good."