NDeMeer- After the End
Title: 5/5
This title intrigues the mind, and certainly lets the reader know when picking up the book that it falls into the realm of Paranormal. It's appropriate for both the genre and story. However, I would have concerns about using this as the the title when marketing it away from Wattpad. The ideal title is original and can't be confused with others. On Wattpad, there are a number of stories called "After The End". It doesn't necessarily stand out in the way your signature title should.
Blurb: 8/10
The blurb is well-written and does all the things a blurb should do. It introduces the main characters, the conflict, and poses the reader a question that hopefully entices that person to journey with the characters. The blurb could be improved in terms of both the grammar and the flow of the writing. Even though blurbs must be tightly worded and there isn't much room for descriptive writing, the art of "blurbing" is making every word count. By adding sensory and/or detail-oriented words to the description, you'll paint a more vibrant picture. Paranormal is, after all, largely about engaging the senses. As I tell everyone, awards and such do not belong in a blurb. It's more appropriate to include them in the actual text. The only things a potential reader should see in a blurb are the credits to cover designers and other major contributors, and notes such as "Book One Of The Blah-Blah Trilogy. Everything else is merely a distraction.
Cover: 5/5
This is one of the more beautiful covers I've seen on Wattpad in a long while. Instead of the highly filtered, modern, photorealistic covers that are very much the vogue these days, you've chosen a more traditional artistic approach and it works well. It immediately puts me in the mindset of Picasso's blue period, and makes me very curious about the figure on the cover and the story she has to tell. Things do not always need to be complex to be beautiful, and this cover is a perfect example.
Plot: 18/20
It's not an overly unique or revolutionary plot in of itself that this book is presented, but the way it's brought to life makes it seem as it is. The plot contains a number of typical Paranormal tropes: "I'm dead and I don't know it.", "I've died and no one can see me", "Despite being dead, I need to save someone else.". However, the execution of the plot keeps it from becoming a cliche. The pacing captures the perfect art of building suspense, particularly the first half of the first chapter. It's important to grab the reader early on and you certainly do that with this story. The thoughts and feelings and confusion of the main character are captured early on and inspires the reader to follow her journey, although that speaks more to characterisation than plot itself. The plot of this book is strong enough to carry the weighty topic at hand, the emotions that comprise the characters and the situations, and it's fast-paced enough to make even longer chapters a quick read that people shouldn't say "Oh, but this is so long..." just because you exceeded the typical 2000 word attention span. It isn't perfect, but it's strong enough to let the other facets of the story shine.
Characterisation: 20/20
The character work in this story is what drives it, and it's thoroughly well-done in regards to every character. I love the way that "Sophie" is given a name even though she is utterly unaware of what's going on around her. That's a very nice touch that shows the main character's sense of unreality. The way in which Death reveals himself is also charming. You likely know I'm fond of endings of chapters and scenes that are short, poignant, and the equivalent of an emotional splash of cold water to the face. I didn't know that you were the same, because you naturally use that technique and execute it well. The only problem is that it provides a sense of completion early in a longer chapter such as Chapter One. If I were you, I'd almost be tempted to separate the opening scene and introduction of the MC that concludes with Death apologising for her being dead. The finality of his line is the perfect ending of a chapter, that entire scene would would stand out more as a prologue. Characterisation is what's going to make people invest in this story and care about what happens, and I see why they do. Excellent work.
Creativity/Originality: 9/10
I've already touched on this, but I'll put a bit of a summary in the space. ;) I don't think this is the most creative of plots. It uses elements most readers have seen before and it doesn't go too far with the mind-bending "Twilight Zone" plot twists to spice things up. Instead, it relies on world-building and character development to tell a strong Paranormal story the reader will care about. In that way, it succeeds admirably. Your storytelling voice is a unique one, your pacing is perfect, and you naturally understand where that point is between being overly descriptive and relating a dry, emotionless set of facts. Do I think this book is the most original? I do not. Do I think there is a lot of creativity and uniqueness in the way the story is presented? Most definitely
Spelling/Grammar: 13/15
There's no category for it, so this is where I typically make note of writing style. Yours is a strong, natural one that has an inherent ability to bring characters and the world they inhabit to life. Even though your storytelling is impeccably done, it's not overly sophisticated or heavy-handed, which makes it a great fit for Wattpad. You won't have trouble attracting both the younger readers this site favours and older,more experienced readers that expect "something more" from the story. The grammar needs some work here and there, mostly in terms of commas and phrasing. It's a pet peeve of mine when sentence start with "And", "so", or "But". It's often a sign that a fragment is coming, but even if not, the word is typically unnecessary and lends and inelegance to your writing. Indeed, you do often end up with fragmented sentences that begin with conjunctions or prepositions,. That pulls away from the refinement of your style and is something that will take this book from one that often finishes in the top three or four to one that consistently wins. Otherwise, there's nothing major of note in the grammar department that a simple edit won't fix. Don't feed the commas after midnight. They multiply. ;)
Enjoyability: 5/5.
"Enjoyability" is highly subjective and it's hard to judge on what others may potentially enjoy. You can only add the less-than-biased view of what you find enjoyable, and for me, this was a fast-paced but interesting read. The plot didn't grab me, yet the characters and the realism of the world contrasting with the surrealism of "after the end" more than make up for it. In my personal experience on Wattpad (and probably yours as well), many readers don't care for chapters as long as some of yours are. I think it's either an attention span issue or something to do with reading on a phone. I personally enjoy longer paragraphs interspersed with meaningful short sentences that comprise their own paragraphs. That's not everyone's preference, though, and so you may think about re-reading your longer sections with an eye on separating dialogue from narrative for easier reading.
Literary Devices: 5/5
You manage to write descriptively without making use of too many traditional literary devices. As a result, when they are used, they stand out and add flair to your writing. It's a wonderful way to show off your writing skills without sacrificing the appeal and accessibility for a younger audience. This book is ultimately marketable because young adults will enjoy it, but older readers will also find it an engaging read. Your balance of how you employ descriptive writing techniques is a large contributor to what makes this book successful.
Descriptive Writing: 5/5
You're one of those writers for whom descriptive writing isn't learned, but a natural part of your voice when you sit down to tell a story. Unlike many other descriptive writers, you don't go overboard with modifiers and flowing poetry within your prose. Your descriptive technique is simple but extremely effective, something that's used to create stellar world-building and characters that jump from the page and into the minds of readers. If you become a little more mindful of when and how you're using your descriptive writing talents, it will enhance the emotional connection to the reader. Nevertheless, your grasp of how to use this to great effect is already very solid. This is a book that's in need of editing on the technical side, but otherwise, should start to see potential publishers soon.
Total: 93/100