AshtonIrwin: happy holidays everyone ♥️
312.510 likes
SamanthaE: you're cute
UpdatesofAshtonIrwin: Happy holidays to you and your family. We all love you
LukeHemmings: merry christmas ash, see ya soon?
AshtonIrwin: @LukeHemmings so you can comment on my post but cant reply a text?
5SOSGlobal: fuck you're cute. Merry christmas!
JackieClifford: merry christmas :)
Teeny._.tiny: MERRY CHRISTMAS IRWIN. I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT TIME
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Tagged JackieEvans
SamanthaE: I hope everyone is having happy holidays and gets to spend it with the ones you love.
204.618 likes
JackieEvans: out of all the pictures of today, you had to pick thisone?
SamanthaE: @JackieEvans yes.
AshtonIrwin: you're cute
SamanthaE: @AshtonIrwin you're stealing my comment
SamGlobal: you look so fucking happy ♥️ I hope you're having a great time in Australia with your families.
UpdatesofAshtonIrwin: How is it to spend Christmas in Australia?
SamanthaE: @UpdatesofAshtonIrwin very weird. I can't even wear ugly christmas sweaters because I'd melt if I did.
UpdatesofAshtonIrwin: holy shit you replied
5secsofEline: merry christmas to all of you 🎄🎄
—
"This was amazing, such a different dinner from what we're used to but it was great." Mom said with a smile as Anne sat back down next to her. We made a small camp fire in their garden and everyone was just sitting around it, smiles on our faces. "Next year you're all invited to come celebrate with us in London."
"Oh that would be lovely." Anne said with a big smile and Harry and Lauren seemed excited about it too. Abby and Joel are with their mother for christmas but they would be with us for New Years eve.
"We can't promise snow but atleast it will be cold enough for christmas sweaters." Jackie said and Lauren was so excited.
"I'd love to celebrate christmas in the snow once." She admitted and I looked at Ashton when he sat back down beside me with his old guitar. "No christmas eve without christmas songs." Lauren said with the biggest smile and Ashton nodded happily.
"This might be the best christmas we've had so far, it's amazing having all of you here." Anne said as she looked at us with a proud smile. "So when can we expect a new generation to join us?" She said as a joke and she and my mom laughed
"Let's first get married." I replied with a chuckle before looking at Ash.
"That sounds like a good plan" Ashton said with a smile as he looked at me.
"Seeing that guitar reminds me that you still haven't played us the song you're releasing soon." Chris said with a smile and I nodded slowly.
"You want to hear it now?" I asked and everyone seemed to agree on thatone so Ashton handed me the guitar. I put the guitar on my lap and looked around, "It's supposed to be on piano but this will work too."
"It's amazing both ways." My mom said as she looked at me with the smallest smile. I smiled back at her and took in a deep breath before starting to play it.
every breath that I've been takin'
since you left feels like a waste on me
I got so lost in the song and the feeling I had when I wrote it that the whole world faded around me.
It's the second christmas without him and I miss him.
I hadn't even realised a tear escaped the corner of my eye untill it landed on the side of the guitar and I quickly wiped the stain away when I was done.
"It's beautiful" Anne said while she looked at me but my eyes drifted to my mom straight away. She had a smile on her face and she was trying not to cry.
"It really is, thisone is going to hit big worldwide." Chris said with a proud smile and I looked back at him with a smile.
"I hope so. It's definitely the most personal one on the album and my favourite." I replied and everyone was a little silent. Ashton put his arm around my waist and I leaned into his touch before starting to play a christmas song because everyone seemed to need it. Lauren smiled as she looked at me and she and Ashton sang along while my focus was on playing this right and my mom. She was struggling but she wanted to hold on. She has been all night, I'm just waiting for the moment she breaks.
"I've come to the realisation that the music talents are clearly only given to the oldest childs." Anne said with a laugh as she listened to Harry, Lauren and Jackie sing along.
"I'm the worst in anything to do with music, I have no rythm or any singing talents." Jackie admitted with a laugh as she looked at her, "I'm strongly convinced that our dad pushed all of his talent in Sam and left none for me." She said with a smile and that was the breaking point for her.
"I'm sorry." She said before getting up quickly and Jackie looked so guilty.
"I'll go, just go on. Holidays are the hardest." I said as I handed Ashton the guitar and got up. I followed her inside and I could hear Ashton playing another song already. "Hey" I said softly when I stood beside her in the kitchen.
"I promised myself I would hold on tonight but it's so hard." She said as she looked at me.
"It's okay mom. I had my breakdown this morning." I replied and we both laughed softly. "I miss him too but he's gone and we can't do anything about it. It's okay to break down every now and then."
"How do you stay positive now?" She asked me honestly and I looked outside through the window at the others.
"Because I have this. I have Ashton and Lauren, Harry, Anne, Chris and you and Jackie." I said softly and she looked outside with me. "I'm trying to see the good in it all but that doesn't mean I don't have my bad moments anymore. I'm trying to do what I would have wanted him to do if I would have died."
"You told us that loud and clear when they thought it was your time to go." She said as she looked right at me.
"I would have never wanted you guys to keep crying over me every holiday or birthday. I know he wanted the same, he wanted us to see the good in life and move on." I said to her and she nodded with a small smile. "Are you ready to go back outside?"
"Yeah, let's enjoy the rest of this strange christmas. I have spend it in cold weather all of my life so this is just strange but still it feels right." She said and I nodded. It did feel strange but exactly the way it should be at the same time.
"As long as you're surrounded by the ones you love and care about, the weather or season doesn't matter."
"When did you grow up to be such a wise woman?" She asked with a laugh and I shrugged my shoulders with a smile on my face. We sat back down on our places and Ashton put his arm around my waist again as he had already put away his guitar.
—
"Saaam" Ashton said again and again while placing kisses all over my face to wake me up. "It's Christmas morning and I'm pretty sure everyone is waiting for us to open their presents."
"I just want to sleep." I said as I turned around and pulled the sheets over my head again. But I almost rolled out of his small bed as I did so. We all crashed at the house after the party last night so we could open presents and have breakfast together. But that also meant we had to share his not so big bed.
"I'll let you sleep as long as you want tomorrow but you have to wake up now before impatient Harry comes to get us and he sees you naked."
"I'm not naked." I said out of defence but he just laughed. I was wearing a very limited amount of clothes, but I wasn't naked. But he was right, I had to put more clothes on before anyone would come to get us. I sat up in bed and went over to my pile of clothes to put on my bra and he handed me one of his old shirts which I gladly accepted.
I put on my shorts too before looking at him. "You look cute in that shirt."
"How old is it?" I asked with a chuckle because it was a lot closer to my size than his usual shirts are.
"I think I was 17-18 when I got that shirt. But I moved away not too long after so they all just stayed here until Harry starts stealing them." He said with a soft laugh and I looked at him with a smile. "Let's go get our presents."
"They are awake!" Harry yelled all excited as he stood at the top of the stairs just when we walked out. "Which is good because I was too scared to go into your room." He said with a laugh before running downstairs again.
"Told you so." Ashton said with a grin as he let me go down the stairs first. And he was right, everyone was already downstairs waiting around the tree.
"We've been waiting for an hour already." Jackie said as she looked at me.
"I'll go get coffee." He said as he kissed my cheeck before going to the kitchen followed by queen Piper and princess Bella. I sat down on the last empty spot beside Jackie and she looked at me happily.
"I had to stop Harry from not going in to wake you up because I wasn't sure if you still sleep naked. That would have been embarrassing." She said soft enough so only I could hear her.
"Thanks, you saved me there." I replied with a chuckle and she nodded before looking back at Harry as he started searching for a present with his name on.
"You have to wait! Ashton isn't here yet." Jackie yelled and Harry grunted when he sat back down next to his mom. Ashton came back with two cups with coffee and soon realised there was no place anymore.
"Get up and then you'll get your coffee" he said to me and I looked at him confused, "I'm not sitting on the ground so get up, so I can sit and then you can sit on my lap."
"That sounds a lot better than trying to get me out just for coffee." I said with a chuckle as I got up and took the cup from him. He sat down and almost just pulled me down with me, letting his one arm rest around me, holding his cup with the other.
"Okay can I now open a present?" Harry said and he was so impatient so when his mom finally gave him the okay, he almost ran to the tree looking for his name.
"Be nice and hand out the ones you push aside." Chris said and Harry just grunted because he still hasn't found his but he did do what Chris said and started handing out the presents untill he found one that had his name on it.
"Finally. I almost thought Santa forgot me." He said with a chuckle as he sat back down with his present. It was the present Ashton and I got him so we watched him as he opened it, the biggest smile on his face when he saw what was inside. "Thank you American santa for all the amazing candy we can't get and the signed shirt." He said as he looked at us with a big smile. He took out the football shirt and put it on immediately.
"That looks good on you Harry" Ashton said with a smile and Harry nodded happily.
We watched as Jackie, Lauren and Harry unpacked their presents. I loved that my mom also got presents for them and Chris and Anne got a present for Jackie too. The most important thing to me is family so to see them get along so well just makes me happy.
"You should get the present for you that's lying right infront of you." Ashton whispered and I turned my head to look at him. "It's a little something from me." I put my cup down on the table and got the small present with my name on it and the one with Ashton's right beside it.
"A little something from me." I said as I handed it to him and he took it with me with a smile.
"Open it!" Jackie said impatient as she watched us.
"You know what's in it." Ashton said with a chuckle and I looked at him before looking at her again
"Yeah I know both of them so hurry up and open it." She said with the biggest grin and all eyes were on us now.
"You can go first" Ashton said with a smile as he watched me.
"No. Do it together." Jackie pushed and everyone just looked at her confused.
"You're a weirdo" I said to Jackie before we both started to unwrap the presents carefully. Just like in my present, there was a small flat box in the wrapping paper which was literally identic so for a second I worried if we accidentaly switched presents but we didn't. Because I used the blue snowy wrapping paper and he used the one with reindeirs.
"Why did we use the same boxes?" Ashton asked a little worried as if he could read my mind, I shrugged my shoulders with a chuckle and we both opened the box but I had to hold back not to laugh.
"So what is it?" My mom asked curious.
"Tickets to New York to go see The Lion King on Broadway." I said with the biggest smile and he mirrored my smile when he realised how similar our presents are. "Thank you, my love."
"And tickets to Florida to go see the Greenday concert." He said as he looked at me with a smile. "Thank you" he said before placing a soft peck on my lips.
"I made sure that nothing will interfere so no worries. You do only have less than a day between the two."
"Or we change our flight and go straight to Florida from New York so we don't have to cross the country twice." Ashton said with a chuckle and Jackie nodded
"Yeah that might be a better plan." She replied with a smile.
"I just love how different the two are. Broadway versus Greenday." My mom said with a chuckle.
"It's going to be fucking great." I said happily and I was so excited. I've been telling him for a while how I want to see a Broadway show one day and he got tickets to go see the Broadway version of my all time favourite movie.
We're flying home the 4th, flying to New York the 8th and to Florida the 12th and back home again the 14th just in time for my tour rehearsals. So instead of a peacefull week before the madness, we're not going to be home much.
"It's really funny when you listen to Sam's playlist because it goes from rock to classical to pop to country and somehow she enjoys everything just as much." Ashton explained to Chris who looked slightly confused by the situation.
"It's just all good. I can't help that I love all of it." I replied with a chuckle and he looked at me with the happiest smile which I returned. I still can't believe I will be marrying him.
"We're going to start making the pancakes for breakfast." Anne said and she and mom disappeared in the kitchen. Somehow Lauren and Jackie disappeared just as fast without anyone noticing so I took Jackie's spot on the couch.
"Thank you for the shirt and the candy." Harry said with the kindest smile as he came up to us and hugged us both thightly. "Thank you for bringing him here, that was the best present." He whispered as he hugged me and my heart broke in a million pieces.
All he wanted was to have his brother closeby for Christmas.
"You are very welcome." I said to him and he nodded before going outside with Chris to play a game of football in his new shirt.
"This is going to be a hardass goodbye when we leave." He said with a sigh as he looked at me.
"Yeah. It's so great to have everyone together but it can't last forever." I replied but I looked away from him, my eyes landing on a last present underneath the tree. "Someone forgot their present." I said with a chuckle and I got up and walked over to take a look at the name.
"Who's is it?" Ash asked me and I couldn't really reply as I read it.
'To: Samantha
From: dad'
I sat back down next to Ash and handed him the envelop. He looked at it confused before looking back at me again. "Do you know what this is?"
"This is the 4th letter I get. I didn't really tell you about them yet. The first one was for when I finally moved out of the UK and chased my dreams and love. It was hidden in one of the boxes with my clothes. The second one got in the mail the day after I signed my contract at Capitol. The third the day of the release of Peer pressure. This is the fourth." I said when he handed it back to me but my hands were shaking.
"Maybe read it when we are back at the hotel?" He suggested and I nodded slowly as I stared at it. But all I wanted to know was what thisone was for.
I know he wrote them while I was in LA after our trip to Norway. I don't know if Jackie gets them too or if he left some for my mom. All I know is that they show up during milestones in my life. I just want to know how many more there are and how many different life paths he wrote about. Because I wouldn't have gotten the first three if I didn't move and just sticked to medicine. But somehow, 1,5 year ago, he already knew that I would chase music instead. Or he wrote many many letters and it's just up to my mom to see which ones to send when.
But it was always his handwriting, so I knew he wrote them himself.
—
Dear Samantha,
I don't know when you will receive this letter because this is one for a big milestone. One that will change your life forever and one I wish I could see. But if you get the letter, it means I can't tell you in person.
You're receiving my favourite letter of the two versions which means you are finally engaged to the handsome Australian man. I gave him my blessing in Norway so I hoped he would do it one day, he promised me he would actually. You would have received another letter if you ended up with another man, which would have been a shame but I would have loved you anyway.
But now that I know you are engaged to Ashton, I have a good feeling which letter you have already received for sure. I'm proud of you for making the step and moving across the world to be with the one you love and to chase your dreams, whether that is in music or medicine.
I am proud of you my beautiful Samantha. Even if I won't be able to walk you down the isle, I will be there with you and I will be watching you from above. I loved the Australian guy since the first day we got to meet him and I am glad you are ready to spend forever with him.
What you and he have, is something unique. I saw that first hand in Norway. Cherish that and never take it for granted.
I still remember when I told you how crazy you were for fangirling about his band, for the fanaccount and dreaming about him. Let me just say this might have been the last man I expected you to end up with but I'm so glad you did. From what I got to see, his love for you is so clear and pure.
I love you deeply my beautiful girl and I wish I was with you to celebrate this. But I hope that in the letters you have already received and the ones you still have to get, you will find closure and find a way to move on.
Don't stay stuck on me Samantha.
You have an amazing fiancé now and you should enjoy the life you've got, my happy bee. You got your second chance in life and you made me feel like the proudest father in the universe and I'm probably bragging about you in heaven.
Congrats on your engagement Sammie.
With love,
Your father,
Oliver
———————————————————
I'm not crying.
I hope you're happy with the semi happy christmas chapter. But I was so not in the mood for a christmas chapter 😂
Are there any questions that you have about Sam, Ashton or anything else in the story? Or about me or whatever? I'll reply everything unless it would be a spoiler, I don't do spoilers. :)
Anxiety pt 1 is 700 away from 50.000 and that's insane and I'm gonna cry happy tears when it does. This is just insane.