Anxiety • part 2

37 • bruises

Never has saying goodbye been this hard on either of us. We both felt so numb while we sat on the plane back home. We said goodbye to his family at their home which included many many tears from all of us. And my mom and Jackie had a flight an hour after us so we said our goodbyes at the airport which ended up with even more tears. They're on their way back to London and the four of us are going back home, Piper was laying on the chair beside me and Bella beside Ashton.

"I'm excited to go back home and have some peace for a few days but I also want to start crying and ask the captain to turn the plane around." Ashton softly said. I lifted my head from his shoulder and looked at him with a small smile. "If we have kids, all the family they'll have is us. We don't have either of our moms or siblings with us, they'll barely see them."

"Yeah but they will have the rest of the group as their fun uncles and aunts and we will make sure they know who their family is very well. We'll figure something out, we always do."

"I like the thought of us having kids one day." He said with a smile as he looked at me and I chuckled softly. "In our house with a big garden and there would never be a silent moment, either you are playing music or our kids are talking or I'm singing them to sleep. I look forward to that."

"One day, Ashton, one day..." I replied softly with a smile on my face, "and the dogs would be super protective over their human siblings. We could even manage taking them around the world with us until they have to start school." I added and he smiled widely.

"And you will have to help them with all their homework because I'll suck at that. I hope they would get your fantastic brain." He said before placing a kiss on my forehead. "I look forward to having a family with you one day."

"So do I." I replied softly before he placed a peck on my lips. "But maybe, just maybe, we shouldn't discuss this on a plane again." I said when I looked at him and he laughed and shook his head.

"That's a good idea, actually. But atleast now there are happy thoughts in my head." He replied softly before taking out his phone and earphones, handing me one earbud and putting in the other.

"I swear if you play Don't Stop again, don't complain about it after. Either remove it from your playlist or don't complain." I said when I saw him looking for a song.

"I was looking for another song, I'm sure you will love it." He said with a grin and as soon as he pressed play, I got the biggest smile on my face. I never thought Bruno Mars would be able to make me this happy. "Is this better than Don't Stop?"

"Much better. Although I do like Don't Stop and I still don't get your hate for it."

"You will get it once you've had a few albums out. You start hating songs you once wrote and loved. Either they get overplayed and you're just sick and tired of them after playing it on shows 300 times, or you just start hating the way you wrote the lyrics and music, the memories attached to it that you once loved, the mindset you had at that time and the things you know that nobody else knows about it." He explained all deep and thoughtfull. I looked at him, asking to continue and he chuckled softly when he got what I wanted to hear. "Don't stop is the first and second. We played it on two tours so about 170 shows plus at some extra shows. But lyric and music wise, it's definitely one of the worse that we've made."

"I know it's not the best but I really like it just because it is not the best. Not many of your first album were really good but it shows how much you have improved over the years and how much your style has changed and I think that's a beautiful thing."

"How are you always able to see the best in things?" He asked me with a cheeky grin and I lifted my shoulders with a smile on my face. "I still love many of the other songs but I just started disliking Don't Stop a lot."