We had spent the next few hours, working on the photos. I showed different filters and effects on my laptop. And taught him how to use them.
Tom was really in to the whole, photo thing. He kept giving me suggestions. "Maybe if you make this photo black and white, and place it next to this one, the contrast would make it look beautiful."
He was good.
It was about eleven o'clock at night when we finally put the whole project thing aside. I was about half way done with the photo project.
"We probably need only one more beautiful attraction, and I'll be finished with my project." I told Tom.
He smiled. "I have just the place in mind. But, its best when you go, in the early morning."
I wondered. "Where? What's the place you have in mind?"
He shook his head. "You'll just have to see when I take you."
I laughed. "Don't you have to get going? Its getting awful late. And if you really want to show me the beautiful place, You may need to get some rest."
He picked up his jacket. "Yeah I'll be on my way."
I followed him to the door, like usual, to say goodbye.
Tom turned around and I almost ran straight into him. He looked down to me. "...but the thing is, I don't know if I'll be here in time tomorrow, If I leave." He said.
I looked at him confused. "What are you hinting at, Tom?"
He shrugged. "Nothing, its just. If I go home tonight, I may not be able to get here in time tomorrow morning, to show you the beautiful place." He added a smile and his eyebrow raised.
He wanted to stay over. I'm not stupid. I knew what he was hinting at. I was a little uneasy about the idea. But, I just had to see this place that he was going to show me.
"Are you blackmailing me?" I asked.
He laughed. "Maybe a little." He played with his jacket. "Look, if you don't want me to show you the place, I'll just be on my way..." He began to slowly walk to the front door.
"Wait!" I stopped him. Damn him and his trickster ways. He really is Loki.
I sighed. "You sleep on the couch. And in the morning, you bring me to the place you told me about."
He smiled. "Deal."
I shook my head and looked at him. "You are cruel."
He laughed. "I have my moments."
-
-
"Okay. Here you go." I handed him an extra blanket and pillow, from my bed. "I'll be in my room. If you need anything, drinks, snacks... don't even ask, even though I may not have much in my kitchen, help yourself to whatever you find. You know where the bathroom is, straight down the hall, and..." I paused, and smiled at him. "Goodnight."
He nodded and gave me that same smile. "Goodnight, Ariana."
I walked away and into my room. I kept the door open a crack. So he wouldn't feel like I was completely shutting him out. I'm pretty sure he had a good understanding that, I didn't want him in my room. He wasn't an idiot.
As uneasy as I was, I had a long day. And I wasn't worried about Tom enough to keep me awake for long. Once my head hit the pillow, I was out like a light.
-
-
"So, Ariana. Tell me about yourself. What kinds of things do you like?" John asked.
He walked right beside me through the park. Our hands dangled by our sides. Each step we took, my hand got closer to his, close enough to touch.
"I like a lot of things. But, mostly, I like to take photos. I've always wanted to be a photographer. And when I graduate from collage, I'm going for it." I answered his question, still focused on our hands.
He smiled. "Wow. A photographer. I never pegged you to be the artistic type."
I looked up to him. "I've always loved the art in photos. Ever since I could remember."
He nodded. "Well. I bet you will be the best photographer in the city."
I laughed. And focused back on to our hands. "So, what kinds of things do you like, John?" I asked.
He smiled. "Well, I like a lot of things..." He said, mocking my words, in a sweet way.
He stopped walking, and finally grabbed ahold of my hand. "But, mostly. I like... you."
How corny. But still so cute.
He pulled me in to him and his lips met mine. First kiss. There was nothing better than that feeling.
"Ariana! Hey, wake up! Ariana!" Tom said, standing over me in my bed.
I had another dream of John. This one was all too real. I felt Johns lips touch mine. I heard his voice in my head. Am I going mad?
I felt the dry tears on my face. I don't remember crying. I must have cried in my sleep. Over the flashback.
Tom saw that my eyes were open. "Ariana, what was that?!" He seemed genuinely worried.
I sat up. "What?"
He looked at me. "You just started screaming in your sleep. And when I came in to check on you, you were crying."
I was screaming too. Perfect.
I shook my head. "Its nothing. Just a nightmare."
His expression changed and he sat on the side of the bed. "Of what?"
"Nothing." I said.
Tom's jaw clenched and he stared into me eyes.
"It was of John. Wasn't it?" He asked.
He's too good at this. I looked up to him. "Yeah."
Tom faced me. "Do you want to talk about it."
All of a sudden my face got real hot. Like I was catching on fire. I took a deep breath. Trying to relieve the feeling. "No, its okay. I'm fine."
"Like hell you are." He rolled his eyes. "Talk to me."
I surrendered. "It wasn't a nightmare." It sure as hell felt like one though. "It was a flashback. To my first date, with John. Of our first kiss..." I looked over to see Tom's expression. He studied my face, listening. I looked away. "I've been having dreams of him, ever since we broke up." My face grew even more hot. Until a tear finally fell, and cooled it off, one degree cooler.
Tom, ever so gently, touched his cool hand to the side of my face, and wiped my tear with his thumb. "It going to get better, Ariana."
I shook my head In disbelief. "How? How is it going to get better if I can't even sleep without him in my thoughts. How is going to get better if all I see is him. All I remember is him. His voice, his laugh, his scent. Stuck in my mind." I caught my breath for a moment. "How is it supposed to get better, if I don't even know why he left? What did I do wrong?"
Tom took my hand. And sternly looked into my eyes. "You did nothing wrong. Don't you see that? Nothing is your fault! Don't blame yourself."
"Who else is there to blame?!" I snapped.
"John!" Tom shouted.
I jumped at the sound of his scream.
Tom closed his eyes and took a deep breath, calming down. His hand still hung onto mine. He's squeezed a little tighter and looked back to me.
"Its John's fault. He let you go. Don't you ever blame yourself. You, are amazing. It was John's fault that he couldn't see the greatness inside of you. You did nothing wrong. You need to believe that." Tom said. "Believe that it will get better."
I shook my head. "I can't."
I couldn't believe either of those things. I couldn't see how I could be happy, without John's memory ruining it all.
"Seven years of my life, were devoted to that man. I gave up so much for him... I fought so much for him... he meant everything to me." I said.
Tom shook his head. "That's the problem, Ariana. You fought for him. But, did John ever fight for you?"
No. He never did.
I didn't say anything. I just kept the blank, depressed expression on my face.
Tom knew the answer. "He didn't. It was always you..." He said. "Well, that's not how its supposed to work, Ariana."
Tom lifted up my chin, so that I'd look at him. "A man who loves you, will sacrifice everything to be with you. John, wasn't that man for you, Ariana. And that is his fault." I didn't say anything. I just looked at him. As he continued. "One day. You'll know it was his fault. When you find a man that fights for you. A man that does, what John couldn't."
All I could think of in that moment, was the words that Tom said to me before.
"The light at the end of the tunnel..." I whispered.
Tom grinned and nodded. "Yes."
He guided my body to lay back down. "Now, get some more sleep. Dream about your light, not your past."
I wasn't protesting. My eyes were burning and my head felt like it had its own heart beat.
I closed my eyes once again. The last thing I saw, was Tom, walking back into the living room.
I didn't dream about John again.