Chapter Eighty One
Six hours later, the workers were gone, the door had been replaced, and I was scared.
More than that, though, I was angry, and all I could do was sit alone in the dark on one of the love seats in the living room. Woody and Tiffany hadn't come back. Sebastian hadn't come back. I'd received no texts on my phone, and I hadn't had the heart to text them myself.
I don't know how long I sat there on that couch in the empty cabin, but sometime after my anger cooled off, the full weight of what had just happened smashed me across the head. With everything that had been happening, all of the drama going on, and me being in a new relationship, there had been no time for me to just sit by myself and think, to dwell on what was really, truly happening.
There were strange and unsettling things occurring at every turn.
Seemingly random vampire attacks... weird incidents with intruders... my boyfriend's nephew somehow being in a household repair business despite his old age. I had been discovered by a normal person, and he wasn't friendly... what would happen if he really did try to expose me?
My thoughts spiraled, making me feel panicked, making my heart thunder in my throat, making my ears ring, making my body prickle.
If I told Sebastian, would he kill Steve? Or would he just be angry that I didn't text him about it instantly? No... he would go the violent route... he would definitely kill him, and that frightened me. I had to think. If he asked me why I hadn't called him or texted him the moment after it happened, I decided I'd tell him the truth and explain that I'd just needed a bit of time to process the situation and let it sink in on my own.
Unfortunately, that came much harder than I would have expected since I couldn't wrap my head around anything after that. I felt like I was trying to catch my balance but the ground wouldn't stop moving, it kept changing, kept distorting, leaving me teetering precariously with no idea if I was going to fall or get a hold of myself.
The entire world was strange.
Life was strange.
I looked at my shaking hands through blurry eyes, already hyperventilating, right on the cusp of having a nervous breakdown. I couldn't wrap my brain around how my hands, my small, calloused, music-making hands could be seen as being capable of hurting people. I didn't understand how or why people saw me as a frightening person.
I just couldn't fathom it.
Brooding was getting me nowhere, though, so I forcibly pulled myself out of my turbulent emotions and rose to my feet. Silently sitting around and panicking over the how's and why's wouldn't solve any of my problems. If anything, it would just make them worse, so instead I did the one thing I could think of doing and picked up my phone, opened my contacts, and started scrolling down the list of choices.
When I saw Tiffany's number I pressed the call button and watched as a holographic video square popped out of the projector, hovering translucently in the air before me. I saw myself in the small screen, ashen-faced and alarmingly easy to read with my frightened emotions covering my features. Wide rabbit's eyes, dilated pupils, furrowed brow, pinched nose...
I looked utterly terrified.
I think I see what Sebastian and Louise mean, I mentally sighed, trying to smooth my features out and failing. I really can't hide how I'm feeling--
My train of thought burst when the screen flashed and Tiffany's face popped up with a brilliant grin.
"Ohaaaiii!" she cheerfully greeted, waving frantically. "This is the first time you've called me! Are you missing me already, you sweet little cinnamon roll?"
"Kinda," I admitted. "Why else would I call?"
"Awww! My heart!" she whined, face screwing up for a second. "Don't worry, I'll be back to stay with you guys for a very long while in about an hour. I wasn't expecting you to call, though!"
"Yeah, I know," I said tentatively, and her face instantly slid into a concerned look. "Sorry if I'm bothering you."
"No, no, it's perfectly fine," she said, waving her free hand; I noticed, then, that she was actually sitting in one of the manor's bathrooms. "So, you okay? You look upset... like, really upset."
"I'm not exactly sure," I said, swallowing hard. "When are you guys coming back again?"
She instantly looked at a watch on her wrist, chewing on her cheek.
"Well, I mean," she drawled, "I could come back over right now if you really wanted me to. Woody and I have been taking care of things over on this end. There's a lot to do what with me moving out for a bit and this whole meeting we're having with the wolf pack from South Carolina, but I'm sure everyone will understand."
"No, if you're busy, I can wait," I said in a small voice, letting loose a sigh. "I don't want to interrupt... it's just, something happened and I kind of don't want to be alone right now?"
Her head flew up and she looked extremely worried all of a sudden.
"What do you mean?" she asked, tilting her head; a shock of fine blonde hair fell across her cheek, but she hooked it behind her ear and shifted on the toilet so she could lean close. "Be honest, what happened? You don't just look upset... you look kinda scared, too."
"Accurate," I muttered, but when alarm crossed her features I blurted, "one of the guys who came to work on Woody's front door was my ex boyfriend's nephew! He recognized me after thirty four years of not seeing each other! Worse, he knows exactly what I am!"
Her eyes bugged and her tan skin went oddly grey. She looked to the side for a moment, fear apparent on her face, then looked at me.
"Aerin, uh--" she tried to say, but before she could finish the video flashed and I heard a loud rustling until it swiveled, revealing Diana's serious, stern face. Cassidy was behind her, eyes narrowed up at the hologram with her thin features pinched.
"What happened?" Diana asked seriously, amber eyes fixed on me. "Talk to me, honey."
Honey? I wondered, momentarily perplexed by the term of endearment; aloud I said, "Um... I didn't know you guys were there. I--"
"Don't hesitate to talk to us," Diana said quietly, and I snapped my jaw shut when I saw the solemn sternness that came over her features. "Listen to me, Aerin, I know we've all had terrible issues with each other, and I know that there's likely still a lot of bad blood between us, but no matter what our relationship is like, you are a member of our pack now and we protect our own. This is a serious matter, so tell me everything that happened. Don't leave anything out, okay?"
I looked at the screen, stunned and a little moved by her confession.
My eyes flitted to Cassidy, who was standing beside her with a sour look but nodding slowly.
"I'll say 'sorry' as many times as it takes," she deadpanned, "but Diana is right about this. If you were ever in trouble and something happened to you because you felt like you couldn't trust us, Bash would never forgive us or even himself. He would be completely devastated."
"And that's why you need to tell us," Diana finished, shutting the bathroom door. "Talk to us."
I took a deep breath and let it out, and then... I did.
I told them everything about the encounter with Steven Kennedy, from the way he'd been staring, to the incident with the box cutter, and then our fight. I explained to them how we'd met, how he'd known me, and then proceeded to tell them about the demand to meet him. By the time I finished, Diana's eyes were narrowed and Cassidy seemed disturbed.
To my subtle shock, the latter actually turned and hugged her wife, burying her face in the folds of her white floral sundress... or, more accurately, right into her underarm. The gesture was so natural-looking that if I hadn't been told, I would never have guessed that it had anything to do with scenting or even werewolf stuff, at all. It looked to me like nothing but a simple hug.
Something someone would give if they were looking for reassurance.
"That's a lot," Tiffany finally said from somewhere off camera. "Have you told Bash?"
"Not yet," I admitted, but when Diana's eyes hardened I quickly added, "but only because I was worried he would go off the rails and do something terrible to Steven--"
"If he tries to talk, there might not be another choice," Diana said seriously, and I balked, but deep down a part of me felt a sick little knot of acceptance because it was true. "If he exposes the creatures of the underground to the normal world it'll put millions of innocent people all over the planet in extreme danger. You have to tell Sebastian about this the moment you can."
"I... I will," I feebly promised. "Really..."
"Good," Diana said, nodding; without another word, the camera swooped over to Tiffany's face and I saw her looking at them with her pretty face pinched. Those eyes soon landed on me, and she gave a weak little smile.
"Sorry about that," she chimed, wincing when I looked away. "Hey, really... I'm sorry. I forgot to turn down the audio and they were in the hallway, so--"
"It's fine," I interrupted, shaking my head. "They were right. I need to tell Sebastian. He should have been the first person I told... I just... things are going so well, I don't want him to get so angry about what happened that he goes off and hurts someone, you know? He... he's scary when someone is a threat, and Steve... well, right now, he is one and I'm worried."
Tiffany stared at me in total silence for the longest time. I watched as she leaned back against the porcelain, tapping her cheek with long, bright blue nails.
"Did Sebastian, you know, ask you to go running with him yet?" she quipped, and I blinked at the odd shift in topic. "Did he, like, ask you to come run with him the way the rest of us do?"
"Y-yeah," I spluttered, turning red in the face, "but, how did you--?"
"He did it for the rest of us, too," she informed me, and my face went tight. "Even me."
I didn't know what to make of that.
"Really?" I asked, confused and mildly surprised. "He did?"
"Yep," she confirmed, cracking a small smile. "When I first did the whole humiliating domination thing--you know, that yucky moment where you give up your pride and dignity and prostrate yourself on the ground in front of a werewolf alpha to let him bite the back of your neck--I truly thought that living with him was going to be a sexual nightmare. I was scared, you know?"
"You were?"
"Um, duh?" she scoffed, scowling at me. "Like, knock, knock, hello? He squashed his dick against my back and bit my damn neck! Werewolf or not, it was freaky and made me extremely uncomfortable! But... the moment after... when he took my hand and pulled me into a hug... for the first time in my life, I felt like I had come home. I've never been hugged like that before."
I instantly had a flashback of Sebastian pulling Woodrow into a tight embrace after he'd rejoined his pack. I had an idea about what she meant, since that had been one of the warmest gestures I'd ever seen from the foul-tempered, hot-headed man I could safely call my boyfriend.
"And then, after that," she said softly, smiling wider, eyes half-lidded and glazed, "he asked me to go running with him. Just him and me. That night, and then the next day, and the next night, and the day after that, so on and so forth, for almost two weeks... it was just me and him. I didn't know anything about shifting, about how to run, about the jumping, none of it. He took those two weeks to really get to know me, and he taught me everything about being a werewolf."
"Wow," I murmured, awed. "He really did that?"
"Yeah," she said, smiling at me. "Everyone in this pack feels like family to me. Bash... sometimes, he almost feels like a dad. I don't think anyone can really blame me for wanting to see him be happy with someone special. He's a good guy. Don't forget that he's good, Aerin... okay?"
I swallowed, searching her face as I digested the meaning behind her words. She wanted me to have faith in him... to put trust in him about this issue. I could and would do it. I had to, I couldn't let past occurrences cloud my judgement.
We could resolve this issue.
"Okay," I said simply, but then she leaned forward and looked at me gently. I leaned away, staring at her. "What? Is there something on my face?"
"Oh, be quiet," she sighed, rolling her eyes. "Later tonight, when he takes you running... it's going to be different for you than it was for any of us. I was talking with Diana and Cassidy about it earlier. Running with your new life mate is different than running with a new pack member."
A twinge of curiosity sparked inside my heart. "Really?"
"Yeah," she said, and then her eyes became faraway, looking at something past me. The unexpected dreaminess of that expression caught me off guard. "You know? I've been doing a lot of thinking, Aerin... like, a lot. I've met a lot of men, been with a lot of them, too... but I've never been loved or even treated well by any of them. Not any of the guys I dated when I was human... not the guys in the films I made when I was still in the porn industry... not Leo, not my father, not even my little brother. Everyone treated me like a joke."
"You're not a joke!" I instantly snapped, and she looked at me in surprise; I swallowed, trying to stem my sudden aggression, but I couldn't. Gritting my teeth, I looked her dead in the eyes and said, "you deserve the world. You've got a bigger heart and a more down to earth mindset than anyone I've ever met, okay? Don't let your past experiences define your outlook on romance--"
"Oh, I'm not," she instantly laughed, and I snapped my mouth shut; her eyes glimmered gorgeously when she shyly looked down for a second. "The thing is... I think I'm falling in love with Woodrow Mason. The way he looks at me... its like, to him, every word I say to him has some very important meaning that he treasures deep down long after the conversation ends."
I smiled to myself since I'd gotten that impression from him, too.
The way he smiled when people spoke to him, the way his green eyes lit up like fireworks on the Fourth of July, the way he would watch and try to understand people even when it was clear that he sometimes didn't. Despite being over three hundred years old, he was an innocent.
He had a heart befitting a very young child and the mind of a grown, if not old, man... and the combination of those two features made for a very beautiful, very kind, very warm soul.
"Yeah," I murmured, closing my eyes. "Woody's a great guy, and what's more, he really likes you. I say go for it. Really."
"I know," she said softly. "I just... he's a virgin, Aerin, and I seriously don't get how an awesome guy like him wasn't snatched up by someone else, like, even once. Ever! He's so much older than me, too... I just, I dunno. It's weird, you know? It's weird and hard to believe."
"Well, how many banshees do you know?" I asked, and she paused. "And do you really think there are many werewolves out there who would want him? He's a hybrid... I mean, some werewolves think that they're better than others if they were turned instead of born."
"True," she reluctantly admitted. "Didn't think about that part."
"Are you worried about dating him because of that or something?" I asked. "Because if you are, you don't have to--"
"Oh, no, that's not it!" she instantly protested, flailing her free hand. "I'm going to ask him out, believe me, I am, I totally want him for myself... but Richard also told me something earlier."
My eyes snapped open and I stared at her through the hologram.
She looked a little flustered.
"What did he say?" I demanded, narrowing my eyes. "Nothing bad about him, I hope?"
"No, nothing bad," she mumbled, fiddling with a stray strand of hair. "It's just... well, if what Richard said is true... Woody's biggest dream in life is to be a father, Aerin. He wants, more than anything else in the world, to have a wife and many, many children. Like, a lot of children."
My heart almost melted into a puddle.
In my head, I could definitely picture Woody as the sort of man who would lovingly and willingly cart his swaddled babies around, smiling at them and bouncing them and taking care of them. He was that sort of man, he gave off a very specific vibe no matter how often I was near him. It didn't matter if you were male or female, gay or straight, vampire or werewolf, old or a baby.
He was just the sort of person who protected others.
Like a living, breathing guardian angel.
"Go for it," I murmured, smiling so widely that my eyes crinkled. "If that's his dream, you can be a part of it, too, if you truly want it."
"Eh?! B-but, we haven't even--"
"Tiffany, you don't have to start popping out his babies right away," I soothed, and she blinked, brows furrowing. "Relationships take time. For now, just focus on him... ask him out and go on romantic dates. Then, after a few weeks or months or however long, when you're finally going steady, start thinking about the future... it'll happen naturally, that much I can promise."
She looked at me for a long time before she smiled.
"Geez," she scoffed, rolling her eyes, "sometimes I forget you're an old ass man."
"So do I," I agreed, laughing a little. "Anyway, thanks for talking with me. I'm gonna text Bash."
"Ah, wait until after you go running to mention this Steve guy," Tiffany warned, and I paused. "I don't think you should say anything right now. Just wait until after you go running to talk with him, okay? Tonight is going to be one of the most special nights of your life... you don't want it to be ruined or postponed. Trust me on this, okay?"
"Er, if you say so," I murmured. "So, when is this meeting with the werewolves again?"
"Ah, tomorrow night," she drawled, running her fingers through her hair. "You have all of tonight and all day tomorrow to hang out with Sebastian. Although, just so you know, when you guys do get back from your run, Woody and I will be waiting for you, okay?"
"All right," I said, nodding. "I'm gonna go now."
"Cool," she chirped, beaming at me with soft eyes. "Love you, Aerin."
Pleasant surprise flooded through me and I instinctively beamed right back.
"Love you, too, Tiff," I said thickly, and with a giggle she hung up; the holographic square instantly vanished into the phone, the room went dark again, and suddenly I was alone.
I leaned back against the cushion, crossing my ankles together as I looked at the chandelier made of antlers, and then at the loft railing to my right. I sighed through my nose as I looked up there, wondering if I should hop on Atlas Chronicles or another game after I texted Sebastian.
Only, just as I was thinking about it, I saw a shadow above me.
I went bolt rigid.
My eyes popped open wide and I sat there completely frozen as I watched the huge shadow creep across the ceiling. My pulse thundered in my ears and I felt like I would throw up as mental flashes of the perimeter alarm going off seared behind my eyes.
Someone's in the cabin, I silently screeched, hands growing clammy. Oh, shit! FUCK!
I took a deep breath and pocketed my phone before I rose to my feet as calmly as I could, making an extreme effort to look undisturbed as I stretched and yawned. I intentionally did it loudly, then made a show of walking with my feet slapping against the cool wood floors.
"Man, I'm bored," I murmured, rolling my shoulders as I headed right over to the kitchen counter and silently pulled a sharp kitchen knife out of Woody's utensil holder. "I'm gonna get AC started before I text Bash..."
I listened carefully even when I walked back over to the ladder and carefully started climbing up it with single-minded intent. I clenched my teeth, hands shaking as I made it to the top, holding onto the knife with a crushing grip. I poked my head over the edge, peering around, but to my absolute confusion I saw nothing.
I poked my head higher.
Although I couldn't see past the back of the couch from this angle, I realized after a moment that the shadow I'd seen had been cast by a bright orange bubble pleasantly drifting around inside the huge lava lamp and nearly melted into a puddle of relieved Aerin-flavored pudding.
"God," I murmured, climbing down the ladder and making my way over to the kitchen, "fuck my nerves. I'm way too jumpy for my own good right now."
I put the knife back in the plastic holder, and I turned to walk back over to the ladder... but for some reason, the window I'd woken up in front of drew my gaze and a strange feeling swept through me. My feet dragged to a halt and I stared at it as washes of confusion and inexplicable anxiety crested through me. I felt a cold creeping sensation running down my spine.
I stared at the window I'd woken up in front of that very morning with Sebastian behind me. Nothing looked out of place, but something about it... I dunno, it gave me the creeps. I shivered as a draft of air tickled the back of my neck.
And then, a presence entered my awareness.
Several loose strands of hair drifted in front of my face as I stood there, staring at the blackout curtains with sightless eyes and a blank face. My ears began ringing, blotting out everything around me and I felt, rather than heard, the breath of air that the person behind me took.
I don't want to see, I silently whimpered, heart speeding up and pounding against my chest; the world around me faded out and tilted slightly as the ringing noise grew deafening, making my vision spot over with black and red. I don't want to see what's behind me...
I felt as though dark and shadowy hands were reaching out to grab me from behind.
I heard static... I couldn't breathe.
Something or someone was behind me, I could feel it, there was a lack of space in my ears.
I could feel their hands reaching out. Could feel the way they were going to close on my neck.
I had to face the nightmare behind me.
I had to, before it was too late, before I was attacked.
Strike before I was struck.
I took a deep breath, steeled myself, and whipped around with my mouth open, already preparing to sing whoever had broken into Woody's home deep into a heavy sleep, but to my shock and confusion... nothing was there. The sensation vanished the moment I blinked.
I looked around, hair standing on end, but nothing was amiss.
I turned my eyes to the loft, not understanding why I was suddenly feeling the way I was, but I shook it off and pulled my phone out so I could text Sebastian. Just as I was about to highlight our previous messages, however, I heard a strange noise from the front door and froze.
My eyes snapped up when the knob slowly jiggled and then started squeaking. I couldn't move, couldn't breathe, could only stare in paralytic terror as it twisted, and then it flew open wide.
I couldn't help it.
I folded right then and there, covering my head with an earsplitting scream. I heard a loud bang and a snarl of rage, and within a split second someone was standing over me with a series of pops and cracks. I heard heavy breathing, and then a pause... the air went still. I trembled on the ground, unable to move, curled up into a little ball and on the verge of tears.
I flinched when two big hands touched my shoulders, tentatively at first, and then roughly.
"Aerin," Sebastian growled, and I instantly let out a breathy whine of relief, muscles instantly unwinding as he shook me. "Aerin, what happened?"
I took a deep, juddering breath, trying to steady myself, but I couldn't. His hands helped me uncurl and gently pulled my fingers from where they'd fisted in my hair, lowering them down before he helped me sit up. I shakily met his eyes, swallowing hard when I saw how grim and and downright murderous he looked, even though that stare was laced with worried concern.
"Sebastian," I croaked, taking a deep breath and jerkily letting it out. "Oh, God..."
"Why are you so afraid?" he growled, staring at me without blinking. "I can smell it all over you... your scent is full of fear. You're terrified. What the hell happened to you while I was gone?"
I instantly leaned forward and set my head on his shoulder, wrapping my arms around his back and balling my fists into the soft leather of his jacket.
"I thought someone had broken in," I whispered. "I... maybe it was because of the nightmares... or maybe because of that weird alarm, but I looked at the window and got a weird feeling, like something was really, really wrong. I don't know why, but I thought someone was behind me."
Sebastian instantly held me, rubbing my back with soothing hands.
"No, Beloved," he murmured into my ear, pressing a kiss against my lobe, and then down against my neck, trailing feather-light lips all the way down to my collarbone. He squeezed me, lips burning hot against my skin, and soothingly ran his fingers across my scalp. "Not with me guarding you... I promise."
"You weren't here," I reminded him. "I was alone."
"No, you weren't," Sebastian snorted, raising his harsh eyes and pressing a vicious kiss against my lips. He pulled back after a second and murmured, "you weren't in any danger, believe me when I say it. I am no fool. I would not leave you alone in these mountains, and I did not, even though I was not here. Jun has been guarding the house for me the entire time I've been gone."
"Wait, Jun?" I asked, startled. "He's been watching the house?"
"Yes," Sebastian confirmed, bumping our foreheads together; he stared into my eyes so closely that it was impossible to look away, those burning irises were all I could see. "I would never, ever leave you unprotected... especially not when there might be something to worry about."
"Promise?" I asked, breathless because of the enchanting flecks of red and gold and orange licking his pupils like flickering, dying embers.
"You have my word," he grunted, lightly nipping my nose and smirking at me. "Nobody would dare to do anything to you as long as you are mine... there is nothing to be afraid of. Even if you feel like something is wrong, even if something bad happens, remember that I've said here and now that I will protect you even if I am not here to do it myself. You. Are. Safe. Aerin. Safe."
Safe... I was safe...
I was safe.
I let out a deep exhale and closed my eyes, relaxing little by little. As much as it confused me, his words genuinely put me at ease... maybe it was his confidence, or maybe it was the unfaltering conviction in his eyes--it didn't matter what it was, the end result was the same.
"I love you," I murmured, but before I could say more I felt his lips on mine; I shivered as his fingers dusted my spine and caressed the small of my back while he kissed me into oblivion. My pulse skyrocketed and I sighed against his mouth, clinging to him for dear life, toes and feet curling into tight little balls right up until the moment he pulled back.
I stared at him through my lashes, dazed and melted in all the right ways.
He licked his teeth, molten eyes flicking across my face.
"God, I want you," he muttered, leaning down and kissing my throat. "I have you, but I can't stop wanting you. Difficult to explain. Emotions are complex."
"You're telling me," I shakily chuckled. "Anyway, what time is it?"
"A bit after seven," he murmured, mouth spreading into a slow, mischievous grin. "Are you ready to run with me tonight?"
"I am," I said, and he blinked when I smiled at him. "I want to run with you... tonight, for the first time, we can run together. No more you going ahead, or me going ahead, or you carrying me regardless of how much I like it... tonight, we can run together, side by side."
He wagged his bushy eyebrows at me. "You like being carried?"
I paused, then admitted, "yeah, I do, actually. You're a big guy, and when you pick me up, lately I can't help but enjoy myself. I like being held in your arms. Even when we were speeding down the highway going a hundred miles an hour, I wasn't scared. I felt... safe... in your arms."
His face tightened and his nostrils flared. He pulled back, raising his eyes to the ceiling, taut jaw opening and wriggling from side to side.
"Fuck... the things you say, and the way you look at me when you say them," he hissed, heaving slightly as his breath hitched, "God, I wanna fuck you."
I jumped, startled, but a pleasant tingle went through my belly and I flushed hot.
"L-later," I somehow managed to articulate. "After we run... like I said, we have eternity."
He snarled, but gently, the sound coming from deep in the bottom of his throat. His teeth extended, then shrank, then sharpened and grew longer before retracting. I watched as his eyes shifted from dark to amber in an undulating manner, and it concerned me for a few seconds.
"Fuck..." he hissed, licking his chops without looking at me; his chest heaved, breath coming harsh. "Fuck, fuck, fuck... god damn it."
"Are you okay?" I asked, but he set his hand against my mouth and covered it, gently pushing me backwards until I was lying flat on my back. He had his head turned up and away, thick neck bulging, veins popping out on his muscled skin.
"Don't... speak," he hissed. "Fighting with... myself. Hard."
Oh... oh.
I obediently kept my mouth shut tight when he pulled his hand back and used it to wipe the sweat forming on his brow. After a long moment, however, he let out a heavy exhale and lowered his eyes to mine. They were dark, all traces of amber gone from them.
"Are... you okay?" I quietly repeated, suddenly feeling conscious about the way my hair was bunched around my head and ears.
"Maddening," he muttered, smirking at me. "You are maddening, Aerin. Your eyes... are my kryptonite. The way you... look at me, it's like... like I can... see right into your soul, into... who you are, and all I see is... light. You are... supposed to be... a creature that thrives... in darkness, but you're just... not. You're... light. My light... all I can say is you're fuckin' beautiful."
I stared at him for the longest time.
Emotion welled up inside me as I looked at him, emotion that I recognized.
I didn't fight against it.
I was falling heavily in love with this man.
"The endless of darkness is hovering... the sound of the silence is deafening... ten billion decibels shattering," I sang softly, watching as his eyes widened; those dark pupils blew open wide when I reached out to him and brushed his cheeks with my fingertips. "Forces of gravity taking me, taking me, weightlessness forsaking me... oh, this pull is astronomical."
"Aerin," he hissed, eyes flickering and starting to glow again. "I... can't."
"I'm drawn to the unknown, where shadows hide," I hummed, not missing a beat, "a slave to the powers that magnetize... there's something inside of me, I can't fight! Forces of gravity taking me, taking me! Weightlessness forsaking me! Ooooh, this pull is astronomical."
"Aerin..."
"Oh, this pull is astronomical..."
"Aerin..." he huskily ground out, dilated pupils drinking in the sight of me and growing increasingly visible thanks to the thin, ever-brightening ring of fire surrounding them. "Your voice... you... we can't yet."
I stroked his lips with my thumb in defiance, taking a deep breath as I leaned forward.
"We can," I whispered. "We can, because I love you."
"We can't," he hissed out. "Not yet. Not until later, as you said. Things must be done. We can't."
Instead of answering, I decided to sing my response, which was a perfect match.
"Oh," I hummed, leaning forward, "can anybody, anybody... anybody, anybody... anybody, anybody... can anybody stop me?"
He kissed me like a wild man, lips crushing against mine, silencing my words. I relaxed as he gripped my hair, body settling on top of mine, kissing me as if he would never be able to kiss me again, as if he were drowning and I was air, and I felt my breath become stagnant in my lungs.
He pulled away, clutching my face, but all I could do was smile.
"Can anybody stop me?" I softly chimed, "Oh, this pull... is astronomical..."
He looked at me, wide pupils flitting to and fro across my face.
His expression was raw.
"Do you know... how much... your voice means to me?" he suddenly rasped, and I blinked when I saw a twisted storm of emotion flash across his eyes. "Not once... in all the years that Jasper and I were together... did he ever sing to me the way you do. Not once in our entire relationship. He sang, of course... he sang, but it was never for me. Never meant for me."
"We're different people," I said softly, smiling faintly. "He expressed his love in a different way than me. Music... when I can't express how I feel through words, I convey it through singing. I've always been like that... when I can't put my heart into words, there's always a song that can do it for me. That's why I wanted to become a singer... so people could understand me."
He looked at me, at my face, at my nose, at my mouth, never blinking, never faltering.
"Every time you have ever sang to me like this," he said slowly, roughly, "I have felt a strange stirring in my heart. It is unlike anything I've ever experienced before, in all my years being alive. It is like... the world becomes blinding, and all I see is you. Your face, your eyes, your hair, your voice, every minuscule detail of your being becomes almost electric to me."
"Is that normal?" I asked, surprised. "Did that happen with--"
"Never, not once," he instantly finished, and my eyes widened. "The feeling I get when you sing to me... it's like... the want I feel for you, but deeper... more profound."
"So, basically, love," I murmured, brows coming together. "That's what you mean?"
"Yes, but no at the same time," he grunted, wriggling his jaw; I saw his wheels turning. "It is like... love... but it is different. Uncontrolled. Stronger. I am very familiar with both the ups and downs of nearly every type of love there is. I have experienced true love, familial love, brotherly love, love between friends. Platonic and paternal and romantic, love of every size and shape... but this feeling I get when you sing to me... it is unlike... anything I've ever felt..."
He trailed off and I could see him struggling to emote, to communicate. I didn't understand what he meant, specifically, but I knew now that he liked it a lot when I sang to him.
I smiled.
"You bring it out of me," I said simply, and his eyes sharpened intensely. "It's just, certain moments it feels like singing works better than talking."
"Perhaps," he lowly acknowledged, pulling back and rising to his feet; he held out his hand and waited for me to take it. "Come, love... in an hour, we will run together."
I took his hand and let him pull me upright without protest.
My mind couldn't help but wander back to that odd feeling I'd had, though.
The feeling that something had been behind me, waiting to grab me.
I shivered and shook my head, deciding not think about it.
I trusted Sebastian.
If he said I was safe, then I was safe.
That's all there was to it.