☘️FROM
https://archiveofourown.org/users/skeletonflowers/pseuds/worriedpeach
what if dan and phil were GODS?
Prince(God of life)! Phil
God of death! Dan
Warnings:
69...
and
major character death ig?
(but phl became the god of life)
Words:11760
--------------------------------------------
Part 1
Dan has a guilty pleasure.
It's a weird one, that's for sure, something that most people like him don't have any desire for. But he can't seem to help it, honestly. He likes the way people move around him, how they laugh and dance and genuinely don't care about anything else in the world. He likes the way girls' dresses flow as they twirl and the way men wear little bow ties around their necks. Hell, sometimes girls wear bowties, and Dan likes that too.
And for a single moment, nobody thinks about death.
Masquerade dances are the perfect excuses for Dan to be himself. Well, kind of.
He's dead. He's been dead for thousands of years, in fact. He is a creature of the underworld, one made of bone and paper-thin flesh that he can mould to his liking. He have s changed his appearance sometimes, just because he could. Once, he had found himself moulding into Shrek and had laughed for a good three weeks before deciding to change it up.
His current appearance was one that he'd taken quite a liking to. He looked human. As human as someone without a soul could look, at least. He had dark brown eyes and curly brown hair to match. His skin was pale, because he was dead of course, and there were two dimples in his cheeks when he smiled. He towered over other humans, but he kind of liked it, and he wore black because he was dead, damn it.
To some, he was known as the devil. To others, he was known as death. But to Dan? He was Dan. Just a guy who accompanied those who passed on their journey to the Underworld. He made sure that they didn't get lost, like the fumbling babies they truly were upon dying, made sure that they didn't get stuck in Purgatory, and for God's sake, don't drink the water, Susan.
That's why Dan liked masquerade balls so much. He liked how nobody knew who he was, how nobody paid attention to death staring them right in the face. He liked the life that flitted around the room, and he definitely liked the punch that made his brain rattle in his skull.
He thought he looked particularly snazzy that night. His hair wasn't as frizzy as normal and actually had some defined curls, which was nice. A black mask covered his face, one decorated with rubies and had roses crawling up the sides. It perched upon his nose like a bird and he liked the protection it gave him. He was wearing an all-black tux as well, including a black undershirt and a black bow tie. He wore a black cloak just because he could, because he was Death, and he was extra, damn it.
He looked like Death himself. Pun intended.
He didn't have to worry about whether or not he was invited, because he could just say a name and have it pop up on the list. Being a person of the Underworld had it's perks, he supposed.
Today was one of the days where Dan popped up at a masquerade dance without expecting it. Normally, whenever somebody was close to death, he would just pop up somewhere and he'd have to wait for a little bit to know who was actually going to pass, and today was one of those times.
It just so happened to be at a masquerade ball, much to Dan's excitement.
He made his way through the crowd, watching as the humans all chattered away, dancing to weirdly fancy violin music. They ate little cakes on tiny porcelain plates and their drinks were in champagne glasses, regardless of whether or not it was actually alcohol or not. Just from this, Dan figured that he was at some sort of important event.
Maybe something to do with royalty?
He blended in for a while, tried to chat to some of the humans as if he were one of them, as if he wasn't rotting flesh stretched around dead bones. Meanwhile, he kept his eyes on the lookout for anything out of the ordinary, for someone who would randomly drop dead, sending their soul into the fourth dimension.
Nothing yet, so he engaged in a conversation about how the punch was absolutely divine with a woman wearing a white dress made mostly out of feathers. Dan didn't quite understand human fashion, but he appreciated the absolute absurdity of it anyway. Back when he had been alive, Dan had been wearing pretty much just a loin cloth, so the evolution of clothing was always so fascinating to him.
Suddenly, a hush fell over the crowd and Dan thought, this is it. The humans all turned, the music stopped, and a trumpet started to sing a tune that hurt Dan's ears. He didn't know why there was a trumpet playing when someone had died, but Dan didn't pay any mind to it and stepped forth, trying to shove himself between the masses to the center where he would be able to walk the poor soul to the Underworld.
Except, nobody was dead.
For some reason, everybody had turned to look at a man. He walked onto the floor wearing a navy blue blazer with a white undershirt and black bowtie. He was also wearing black dress pants and had various pins on his blazer that screamed royalty. His hair was as black as a raven's wing, his skin putting Snow White herself to shame, and his eyes sparkled against the blue of his dress clothes. There was a white mask perched against his face, pearls dancing around the edges. It made his skin seem ever more pale, but it also made him seem to shine.
For a moment, Dan lost his breath. And then he remembered that he didn't have to breathe in general, so he let out a useless breath anyway and gaped because that's what he felt like he should do. If he had a heart, it would have stuttered a beat, probably fallen out of his ass and shattered on the floor.
Dan didn't believe in love. He was a god of death, not a god of love. Adoré was in charge of love and all things gross, not him.
And yet, for a moment, Dan forgot he was the god of death. He looked around for any signs of Adoré hanging around. Maybe she'd hit him with her magic love potions or something. But alas, she was nowhere to be found, and Dan caught himself staring at this beautiful human once more, taking in the beauty mark on his cheek and the way his eyes sparkled three different colours in the light.
The trumpet stopped singing, and a voice rang out then. "Thank you all for coming to our Royal Ball to celebrate Prince Philip's coming of age! By the end of the night, we are hoping to find a bride for the Prince, who will carry on the Lester name." Dan glanced around to find the source of the voice, and he found the man a little ways in front of Philip, holding himself with his head held high and his fist to his chest. It was a bit strange, but Dan didn't question it.
He didn't quite understand human customs yet, apparently.
The ball commenced then, and Dan stood back as a mass of people flocked to the prince like bugs to a light. Dan crinkled his nose, figuring that it would be pretty horrible to have that many people stood around him, so he decided to leave the prince to himself (no matter how badly he also wanted to flock to him). Instead, he busied himself by looking around, taking in the exquisite details of the room.
There were giant pillars that cast shadows on the floors and paintings on the ceiling of various flowers and trees. The floors were black and white marble, and Dan could even see gold glinting on the floor under the bright lights. Lanterns hung on the walls, long mahogany tables lining them, obviously pushed out of the way so that people could use the dance floor. A few people were eating at the tables, and there were butlers carrying around plates of food.
One approached him, and Dan couldn't help but be surprised by that. Usually if he wanted to talk to a human, he was the one who typically approached them. Someone had mentioned to him before that it's because he has an uneasy aura, which he could understand. He is Death after all. "Would you like a strawberry fudge brownie bite?" the man asked, and Dan couldn't help but snort at how not fancy the foods were.
"Of course," Dan said nonchalantly, and then he took three off of the plate just because he could.
The man held up his finger. "Ah, only one per guest," he said timidly, and Dan frowned.
"I'm taking three," he told the man, cocking his head with a smirk. He narrowed his eyes, basking in the way the man seemed to shrink under his gaze. "Or did you have a problem with that?"
He knew he was scary, and he took full advantage of that fact. He knew that his eyes would glow red on command, something that the humans didn't fully understand - something the humans didn't want to understand. So they quaked in their shoes, terrified for their lives, and gossip spread around towns like wildfire about a man with eyes of blood and a cloak of black death. Most people didn't believe in Death, but the folktale was there nonetheless, a story to tell the kids at night to make them stay in bed, a story that made people fear the dark.
The man fled. Dan smiled at his three brownies and began to dig in.
Dan was halfway through his second brownie when he heard a chuckle behind him. He didn't pay any attention to it at first, because this brownie was truly delicious so he didn't really care about anything else, but then a voice followed the chuckle, and Dan furrowed his eyebrows as he realised that the person was talking to him.
"Excuse me?" the voice came again, and Dan turned, only to nearly choke on his brownie. He swallowed it down, cleared his throat, and tried to look presentable, because the prince was standing in front of him, his eyes shining against the blue of his blazer. He looked so alive that Dan wanted to press his head against his chest to listen to his still-beating heart.
He didn't understand why he was having these feelings all of a sudden. He's seen many humans, many that were alive, and even more that were dead. None of them gave him a fuzzy feeling in his chest that made him wonder if he had come back to life. None until the prince of wherever the hell they were, at least.
Dan set his brownie on the table. He'd seen enough humans to know that he was supposed to bow down when he was graced by a royal presence. He didn't usually care about human customs, but for some reason when it came to this ethereal specimen, he just couldn't help himself. "What can I do you this honour, your grace?" he asked, a bit confused as to why the prince was talking to him, of all people.
The prince smiled, a pink tongue sticking out between his white teeth. His eyes sparkled and Dan was once again in amazement of how alive he was. Dan didn't want to think about how one day, he was going to be the one to lead this beautiful human to the Underworld, never to be seen again. "That was impressive how you just ordered the servant around like that. I'm quite intrigued."
Dan was at a loss of words, rather taken aback, so he just fiddled a bit with his cloak. He bit the inside of his cheek. He was supposed to be Death, he scolded himself. Now was no time to be shy about it. So he smiled, his lips that weren't really his lips turning upwards. Under the scrutiny of the prince, he felt as though he could feel every twitch of his muscle, as though he were a machine being watched for any mistake. It was a strange feeling, one that he couldn't quite put his finger on. "Thank you?" he said, a bit confused at the statement.
This just made the prince laugh, who threw his head back heartily, showing the skin of his neck. Dan could see his adam's apple bounce and his tongue felt heavy in his mouth. "I like your cape," the prince said sincerely, and Dan frowned despite himself.
"It's a cloak," he corrected before he could stop himself. Immediately, he internally groaned and wanted to bash his head into the wall. Why would he say something like that to the most beautiful human in existence? He probably thought he was weird now or something.
But Prince Philip just laughed, and shook his head a little bit. "I like your cloak then," he corrected himself, and his smile was blinding now. Dan could feel the presence of the hundreds of other guests around them, watching them, but Philip didn't pay any attention to them. His eyes were all on Dan, and God, Dan must have died all over again. "I'm Phil. And you are...?" Phil. The nickname made Dan's cheeks warm, which is weird because he definitely didn't have any blood in his veins the last time he checked. "I'm Dan," Dan replied dumbly. There was a reason he was the god of death, damn it! He wasn't good with people, didn't understand them! The last time he was human, he didn't have any of the new age crap they had, so it all went over his head.
"Dan," Phil said, and the name rolled off of Phil's tongue like it was greeting an old friend. Dan shivered because it'd been awhile since anyone had said his name. Or maybe it was just because it was Phil who was saying it. "Would you like to dance with me?"
Dan's first instinct was to eye the brownies he'd set on the table. There was still one and a half left, and they were so good that he didn't really want to leave them. But then he cleared his head a little, yelled at himself a little bit, and had a moment of realisation that a prince wanted to dance with Death.
... What?
Dan gaped at him. "You want to dance with me?" he asked stupidly.
Phil smiled and didn't say anything, just extended an arm to him, and Dan could do nothing else but take it. He didn't quite know what was happening or why Phil wanted to dance with him, but he did know that Phil was supposed to be looking for a wife and Dan was supposed to be looking for a lost soul. However, when Phil's arm curled around his waist, and his hand settled on Dan's shoulder, Dan's mind went completely blank.
He couldn't see anyone else, couldn't think of anything else. All he could focus on was the prince, how he was so full of life, how his skin was illuminated under the lights. It was like he was emitting his own golden glow, like he was some otherworldly creature that had captured Dan under his spell. It was unsettling, but Dan didn't pay any attention to that.
He laughed a little when he tripped over the prince's feet. He'd never danced before in his life, but Phil was quick to steady him, his arms strong and supportive, and Dan could feel himself falling deeper into infatuation for this human. He was really going to have to get on Adoré's case later, because she was no doubt playing a trick on him.
They danced until Dan's feet were aching and Phil's breath was coming out in short gasps, but they were grinning nonetheless. They didn't pay any mind to the people around them, and Phil seemed to be ignoring the whole wife thing completely.
Dan was curious though. He's always been a curious guy; it was just in his nature. So he brought it up when they broke away to grab some punch from one of the servants, served in some crystal champagne glasses that were far too fancy for punch.
"Why are you wasting your time dancing with me when you could be looking for a beautiful bride?"
Phil paused before he could take a sip of his drink, and Dan's eyes were drawn to the glass. Something was niggling in the back of his mind, but he couldn't quite tell what, so he decided to ignore it instead, hanging onto every word that Phil said. "I wanted to dance with you," Phil told him, smiling as Dan met his eyes again. He swore he could get lost in those eyes. "Out of all of the people in the room, you were the only one who stood out to me. You and that cape, that is." He flicked Dan's cloak with a finger to accentuate his point and Dan gasped in mock offense.
"Excuse you, this is a cloak!" Dan exclaimed, watching as Phil lifted the glass to his lips once more.
All of a sudden, Dan could feel everything turn to slow motion. His fingers began to tingle and his eyes widened in horror. The glass rose to Phil's lips inch by inch, and Dan's chest began to ache. The god of death inside of him began to tremble with want, the way that it always did right before someone was about to die, and-
Holy shit, Dan was here because Phil was going to die.
He didn't know what to do. For the first time in his immortal life, Dan didn't want to see a human die and go to the Underworld. In fact, he didn't want to see this human die at all. Phil was too good, too full of life, and Dan didn't think he could fathom it if he had to watch those gorgeous blue eyes slowly lose their light.
Without thinking, Dan caught Phil's wrist in his hand. Phil squeaked and a little bit of punch spilled out of the chute and onto the pretty marble floors, staining it with the poison. Their eyes met, Phil's expression one of horror and confusion, and Dan didn't even have to see his own reflection to know that his eyes were glowing red, his cloak seeming to flutter without any breeze in the room.
Dan was well aware that people were staring, that a guard was yelling at him to unhand the prince, but all he could focus on was the fact that Phil was safe, that he wasn't going to die tonight.
"Don't drink the punch," Dan said, his voice coming out as more of a growl. He could feel his physical body start to dissipate and he let go of Phil's hand to throw the punch on the floor before lifting his hood up to cover his face.
"Dan, what-?!" Phil gasped out when he got over his initial shock. He reached out to grab Dan's arm, but his hand went right through him. Dan watched, his stomach sunk to the floor as Phil flinched away, staring at his own hands as if they'd offended him themselves.
Before Dan could completely disappear from sight, he smiled as best as he could. But it was a sad smile, knowing that he would most likely not see this man again for a very long time. He didn't know what would happen because he just defied Fate, but he knew it would not be good.
"Someone is trying to kill you," Dan told him in a soft voice. "Please don't make me come back here. I really don't want to have to help you travel to the Underworld."
Phil didn't get to reply before Dan vanished into thin air, leaving chaos in his wake. He only knew that he would no longer be able to show his face around Phil's city again without changing his features.
After all, the God of Death isn't welcomed to masquerade parties.
-
"Dan, what the hell?"
Dan opened his eyes to find that he was in the deity conference room, a huge colosseum in the sky where the gods held important meetings. He should have figured he'd end up here after the stunt he'd pulled.
It was Adoré who'd spoken, her rose coloured eyes filled with fury. Her ebony skin shined in the iridescent light of the colosseum and she wore intricate patterns of gold that sat against her skin like it was engraved into it.
Dan frowned and rubbed a hand through his face. He could feel the bones jutting out from his cheeks, the skin having dissolved from his bones. He focused on his soul and formed a body for himself once more, despite how it made his head ache and his bones crack. He just really didn't feel like walking around as a giant skeleton in front of the other gods at the moment. "What are you yelling at me for?" he mumbled, pulling his cloak back over his head.
This time his statement made a round of grumbles travel its way around the table. Dan sighed, bracing himself.
"You can't just fuck with fate, Dan!" Theos, the God of Fate shrilled. Dan knew that this would happen; Theos never liked him, even though Dan had never really screwed around with fate until now. Yet now that he did, Theos was taking full advantage of his hatred. Dan didn't really blame him. He didn't know what had come over him in that ballroom, but it was definitely not Death God-like. "Do you know what you've done?!"
Dan could guess, but he shook his head anyways because he liked hearing Theos freak out on him. It was a bit funny to see such a small man - only rearing on three feet tall - yelling at him in a strong voice, his face turning the same shade as a tomato. It was rather hilarious and Dan found himself stifling his laughter, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed over his chest.
"You- how can you be so relaxed right now?!" Theos snarled, shaking his head with a scoff. His beautiful golden locks of hair flicked around the air and Dan watched in rapt fascination. If he truly wanted to, he could also have hair that bodacious and beautiful, but he found himself more comfortable in his current form, and that saddened him greatly. He wanted cool hair too. "You just upset the sequence of time! That man - Philip Lester - was supposed to die tonight. What is going to happen to the time sequence now?! That man currently doesn't have a fate! He is literally a being with no meaning!"
Dan frowned. He didn't like the way they were talking about Phil. He was too good of a person to die. He should live a happy life, maybe have a wife and kids, and then Dan could watch from afar as he lived to his fullest potential. And only when Phil was ready, Dan would be there to take his hand and walk him to the Underworld. Now was not his time. "Well then just make up a timeline for him. It's not that hard, and you and I both know it."
The whole table gaped at him, and it was Leonidas who spoke next. He was the God of Time, and Dan was pretty sure he and Theos were sleeping together. "Dan, you unfathomable idiot." Leonidas flexed his muscles and Dan hummed, staring at his biceps. Physical bodies were so fascinating. Theos was a lucky man. "I'm afraid it doesn't quite work like that."
"Well, why not?" Dan asked, feeling like a child stomping his foot. The entire god race was pissed at him and Dan didn't understand why. So what? Death saved a life. Sure, it was ironic, but they were literally gods. They could do what they wanted.
"If a god saves another human, none of the other gods can touch him," Adoré murmured in her soft tone of voice. This time, she seemed sad, as if she could look right through Dan and see exactly why he'd decided to save Phil's life. "Philip literally doesn't have a fate anymore. He has no reason to live. The entire world will be against him now and he'll most likely be dead within a fortnight at this rate. It's nothing Theos or Leonidas or you can fix. He's a goner, Dan."
Dan's heart dropped. Well, if he had one. He felt like he had one, that's for sure. How many millennia has it been since he's felt like there was a physical muscle beating in his body? He didn't have emotions, he didn't have feelings. And yet, he still felt as though he was going to pass out. "You're lying."
"I'm not, Dan," Adoré murmured quietly, and the whole room went completely silent, waiting for Dan's reaction.
Dan couldn't breathe. He could never breathe, but now his entire chest was constricting and he could feel his skin beginning to melt away, revealing his true form. He didn't have enough energy to keep on the mask anymore, it seemed. Why had nobody told him of this? Why was he so blissfully unaware that if he saved a human life, he would have to end it shortly after? Phil had a life before Dan. He had a reason to live. He could have had a happy night before passing.
And then Dan had to get involved and ruin it all.
"Are... are you in love with him?" Adoré asked, and Dan's head snapped up.
"No!" he snarled, his cape beginning to rise and his eyes shining red. "I'm the God of Death, Adoré, I don't have human emotions like the rest of you!"
It seemed to cause a riot throughout the colosseum, because everyone started talking at once. Dan could make out snippets here and there, but nothing really stood out to him. They were all rambling, coming up with their own theories, trying to figure out why Dan had saved a human if he didn't feel anything for him. Dan didn't know why either, but his head was beginning to hurt. He hated being scrutinized by the rest of the gods like a piece of bad meat.
"Wait!" a voice shouted then, and all of the attention was turned to the end of the table. Gabrielle stood tall. She had climbed on the table and her white hair shone in the godly light of the room. Her purple skin sparkled silver and her eyes burned blue bullets into Dan's body. He froze, uncertain as to why the God of all gods was talking to him. She usually didn't give a care in the world about what the rest of them were doing. When they were fighting, she was usually cooing over the dogs that were birthed every day on Earth. Dan didn't know too much about her besides that fact, but he always thought she looked cooler than the rest of them. "Dan," she said, pointing at him. Dan raised his eyebrows, pointing to himself. He could tell that she was talking to him. There was no need to point. "You were a human before you became a god."
Dan rolled his eyes. He'd known that already, could remember being a human. So why did that have anything to do with the topic? "Okay, yeah, I know. I remember." He scowled, raising an eyebrow. "The fuck does that have to do with anything, Gabrielle?"
She walked towards him, still on the table, and her white gown flowed behind her as though it was performing a ballet. Dan always liked dresses, had even worn some on occasion, but they always felt too breezy for him to be fully comfortable. "You're the only one of us who was born a human. What if those human emotions remained after you became the God of Death? What if you're feeling something because that's what your human part wants you to feel?"
"If that's the case, then why did it take me tens of thousands of years to actually feel something?"
Gabrielle shrugged. "Obviously Philip triggered something in you that made you remember how to feel. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. However, I think it's wrong of you to act on those emotions and mess with the fate that Theos chose for him. That was a huge mistake on your part, Dan."
Theos muttered aloud, "You tell him, Gab," under his breath, and Dan resisted the urge to growl at him.
"But!" Gabrielle continued, holding up her finger to silence the other gods. Her eyes burned brighter and her cheekbones were sharp and slightly terrifying, but Dan has seen things, has seen Death itself, so he wasn't scared of her in the slightest. "I pity you, so I'm going to let it slide this time."
A round of groans sounded around the colosseum. Dan wasn't exactly the most loved of the gods, mostly because he simply didn't care about anything; he had to bet that most of them wanted to see him fall. But Dan knew Gabrielle, knew her more than any of the other gods knew her. She was there when Dan had become a god, had been there when death took him and abandoned him in Purgatory. She'd opened her arms wide, told Dan that he was special and that he could live an eternal life as long as he helped lost souls find their way home.
He hadn't understood what she'd meant at the time, but he was eternally grateful for her and the way she'd raised him into the being he was today. In a sense, she was the mother that Dan had been craving since he'd shown his own mother her way to the Underworld.
"You can't just let him get off with this," Leonidas cried out, followed by angry nods from the other gods. The only exception was Adoré, who seemed a bit intrigued, staring at Dan with something curious and soft in those magenta eyes. Dan hated it.
Gabrielle snorted, rolling her eyes. "I can do what I want. Don't talk to me, Leo. I'm talking to Dan." She turned those blue eyes back on Dan, looking thoughtful. She twirled white hair around her finger until it was in a tight coil, kind of like a snake. "I'm not going to punish you because I like you and I think you had good intentions, Dan. It's been a long time since I've seen you display any human emotions." Dan knew exactly the last time she was talking about. When he'd just walked his mum to the Underworld and he completely broke down in Gabrielle's arms. After that, he couldn't really feel anything at all, and that's when he guessed his humanity left his body. "The fact of the matter is that Phil does not have a fate anymore because you saved him, so he will not be able to live. But I made the same mistake as you before, and it was the best decision of my life."
Murmurs broke out around them, and Dan couldn't look away from those bright blue eyes. He had a feeling that he knew exactly what she was talking about, but he couldn't remember what it was. It was on the tip of his tongue, a memory on the edge of his mind that just couldn't come to life.
Gabrielle smiled and memories flooded his mind.
He had just celebrated his birthday and had been out with some of his friends. They spoke an ancient language, one that Dan could understand because it was his original language. They were all shooting their bows and arrows, having a good laugh, when all of a sudden a cry came from behind Dan.
Dan had turned, found his friend staring in horror at a woman with skin that held a million galaxies and white hair that sparkled in the sun. She had an arrow in her shoulder, one that was oozing blood the colour of ink. Dan couldn't tell much from the situation, but he could tell enough to know that this woman, this strange and alien woman, had just jumped in front of an arrow and saved his life.
He had sprung forward, speaking so quickly that his tongue tied up and he could barely understand what he was saying, but he found himself at her side, trying to pry out the arrow. His mum had been the healer in his village so he'd known a lot about medicines and how to patch people up, so he used that information to extract the arrow and stitch the wound with a needle and twine.
The woman disappeared after that, and Dan only saw her days later when he'd drowned in a river and she was there to greet him, kissing him on the forehead and offering him eternal life.
Now, Dan understood. She had made the same mistake as he had. For some reason, she had saved his life, and when Dan had later passed away, he was made into a God because he had no fate with life nor death.
Gabrielle smiled at him and she closed her eyes, ignoring the backlash from the other gods. She knew that Dan understood, knew that Dan could choose to follow in her footsteps for the person that Dan felt affection for. It was a rare circumstance, one that had only happened once before, but Dan was ready to take the risk.
Even if he didn't want to watch Philip die.
"Go to him," Gabrielle told him, and Dan nodded. He felt a bit brighter now, more hopeful than he had in his entire life.
He wrapped his cloak around his shoulders, put his hood over his head, and focused on the image of Phil in his mind. He didn't know what he was doing at the moment, but Dan knew that he would show up wherever Phil was.
The colosseum broke into loud chatter as Dan dissolved from the room, only to pop up in a room that he'd never seen before. It was dark, the only light emanating from the open window where the moon was leaving a kiss of silver upon the walls. There was a bed in the middle of the room, and Dan figured that it was Phil who was wrapped up in the elegant duvet, a lump among the covers.
Dan watched for a moment, not moving. Now that he was here, he didn't know what he was supposed to do. Wasn't it a bit creepy to watch someone sleep? Would it scare Phil off if he had just randomly appeared in his bedchamber? Dan hesitated, not moving, and just waited.
He waited until a cough erupted from the bed and Phil moved, turning around in bed. He turned so that Dan could see his face, that beautiful face that Dan had missed so dearly in the short time they'd been away. Although, time passed differently between the realms, so whereas only a few hours had passed in the colosseum, Dan knew that a few days had passed in the human world.
His nonexistent heart dropped when he saw Phil's face. His eyes were closed, he was sleeping, but he seemed horribly sick. His eyes were sunken into his head and his cheeks were caved in. He reminded Dan of what he looked like when he didn't mould himself some skin, and it made Dan's chest ache to see. His skin was so pale that there was a light blue tinge to it, and his lips were dry and cracked. As Dan watched, Phil coughed again, one that was congested and made blood spurt onto the sheets.
He was dying and Dan was here to take away his life.
Slowly, Phil began to open his eyes. Dan could tell that it took him a moment to focus on him, that he probably just saw a black shadow, but when he made out who it was, Phil smiled, albeit a bit bitterly. "Are you here to kill me?" he rasped out, letting out a sour laugh that made Dan frown sadly.
He didn't want to kill Phil. He didn't like seeing him like this. He missed when Phil was so full of life, that first moment that Dan had seen him and had been so enraptured by his beauty that it made him feel human once again. Seeing Phil like this, so close to death, made Dan hurt. He felt as though he could cry, as though he wanted to curl around Phil and shield him away from death.
Shield him away from himself.
And that was the worst feeling of all, knowing that he was the one who would have to bring Phil to his doom. Is this how Gabrielle felt when she had to see Dan to his own death?
"I'm here to offer you eternal life," Dan told him sincerely, taking a step towards Phil. He had expected Phil to shrink backwards, because everyone was afraid of Death. But alas, he didn't, just stared up at him, his mouth still in that half smile. Dan wanted him to smile for real, but Phil seemed so sickly that he wasn't sure he would even be able to do so.
"Eternal life?" Phil mimicked, before coughing some more. This time it seemed worse than the others, staining the white sheets with crimson. Dan took another step forward and brushed the hair out of Phil's face. Phil's eyelashes fluttered under his touch, and Dan was amazed by how calm Phil seemed around him. "How is that? Aren't you the God of Death?"
Dan smiled painfully at him. He was glad that Phil didn't seem angry at him, didn't seem scared of him, but he couldn't help the pool of guilt starting in his stomach that told him you did this, you're a monster, you ruined this man's life. "Basically I pissed off the God of Fate by saving your life, so now you don't have a place in life or death. So Gabrielle, the Goddess in charge of all of us told me that the only way to save you is if you become a god." Dan paused. The words sounded rather insane when he said them, but he didn't know a better way to explain it. "That's how I became the God of Death, because Gabrielle saved my life. So I'm offering you another chance at life."
Phil closed his eyes, and for a moment, Dan was scared that he was dead. But then he spoke, his voice a mere whisper. "Will I be a Death God too?" A pause. "And what happens if I say no?"
Dan didn't want to think about the second question just yet, so he only focused on the first. He knelt to the ground beside Phil's bed and found Phil's hand under the duvet, holding it tightly in his own. He spoke in a hushed voice, almost like he was telling Phil a bedtime story, one that would follow him to death. "You will take on the role of a God whose soul represents you. That could range from anything from the God of the Sea to the God of Plants. You're chosen based off of what your soul represents."
Phil nodded weakly, taking this in. Dan knew what he was thinking: how had Dan's soul reflected death? And what would Phil's soul take on? "And my second question."
"If you do not take on this duty, then your soul will be lost in Purgatory for eternity."
That fact hurt Dan more than Phil could ever know. He hated how he'd done this, how he'd made Phil give up a life of eternal happiness in the Underworld for his own selfish reasons. He hated how he's basically forcing Phil to become a god for his own selfish needs, because he hadn't wanted to let a man he'd just met die from poison. He was the worst Death God the world had ever seen, for sure.
Phil laid back in his bed, turning so that he was staring at the ceiling. He was still holding Dan's hand, which was a good sign, and his skin was so warm whilst Dan's was ice cold. It made him feel as though he were on fire, but it was a good feeling, one that lit up Dan's insides and made him feel something other than harsh emptiness.
"If I decide to do this whole thing," he gestured to Dan with his free hand, but didn't turn to look at him, "will I still get to see you?"
The words were so innocent, almost like a child who was fearing that they'd never see their mother again. They made Dan's face feel hot, just like when he'd first met Phil, and he had to take a deep breath to force himself back to earth. "Of course you'd still get to see me," Dan told him honestly, because at this point he didn't think he would be able to stay away even if Gabrielle ordered him to. "You can't get rid of me that easily. I destroyed your life, after all."
That made Phil laugh, but it was weak and made him cough some more. He ended his chuckle with an elongated sigh;he looked truly and utterly exhausted. Another flash of guilt went through Dan but he tried to push it away. It wouldn't be long now before Phil's soul would leave his body and would join Dan in the fourth dimension.
"Tell me a story," Phil murmured, and Dan could do nothing else but obey.
He told him a story of an immortal being, one who had no purpose into life other than to witness the death of others. He told him of how that being had grown bored of his undead life and found solace in masquerade balls because they let him hide away from who he was and just enjoy himself for once. However, one night, he saw a man so beautiful that he could have sworn his dead heart had come back to life and made him human again. They danced the night away and the immortal found himself falling for this human, only to find that he was supposed to be bringing death upon him. When the time came, the man found that he couldn't do it, and ended up saving the man's life instead, knowing that it would bring displeasure to the other immortals.
It was blindingly obvious that it was the story of how they'd met, of why Dan had saved Phil's life, but Phil didn't care. It brought a smile to his face, one that was weak, yet still so beautiful that Dan thanked the other gods for this very moment. Time was running out, and Dan could feel his cloak begin to quiver with the precipice of death.
Then Phil turned and looked at Dan and his eyes sparkled in the moonlight, despite the exhaustion on his face. He was still smiling and Dan didn't know how he did it when he was dying so soon. "Can you kiss me?" he asked suddenly, and Dan was taken aback.
In his entire life, nobody had ever asked Dan to kiss them. Especially not someone who was more beautiful than Gabrielle herself, with eyes the colour of the grass and seas and skin so pale that it reflected the moonlight. Dan didn't know what to do at first. He found it a bit ironic at the same time, those rumours coming to mind about how death would come to you if the God of Death gave you a kiss.
He pushed all of those thoughts out of his mind as he leaned forward and pressed their lips together. Phil's lips were cold and Dan could taste the blood on his tongue. But the kiss was soft nonetheless, something meaningful and full of life despite the fact that both beings were anything but. Kissing Phil made Dan feel as though he'd been brought back to life, like his heart was beating and his blood was rushing through his veins. He felt warm all over, everything that death wasn't supposed to be like.
When he pulled away, Dan kept his eyes closed because he wanted to bask in the feeling of kissing Phil. He didn't want to open his eyes and come back to reality. He didn't want to acknowledge the way Phil had gone limp in his arms or how Phil had slowly grown colder.
He didn't want to see a cold and motionless Phil laying right in front of him, eyes dark and soulless.
"Dan?"
A ray of sunshine poked through the clouds. Dan twirled around, ignoring the empty body in front of him, and instead focusing on the being that was now standing behind him, standing tall and smiling so widely that it seemed as though his face was going to split in half.
If Dan had thought Phil looked alive when he was alive, then he was exuberant in death.
His eyes, those beautiful ocean eyes, sparkled with the light of a thousand suns. If Dan looked close enough, he could see rolling hills of grass in those gorgeous irises. His cheeks were tinted pink, his skin shining like the moonlight. His hair was glossy and seemed to have a life of its own, and he was emanating a certain bright light all around him, one that was a light yellow colour that Dan had never seen before in a God.
Before he could stop himself, Dan was crossing the short distance between them and hugging him close. He littered kisses over his shoulders and his cheeks, and they were laughing, and Phil was crying, and it was nothing like when Dan had accepted his own eternal life. This time, Phil was greeting him with hope and happiness, shining so brightly that Dan nearly had to shield his eyes.
"Thank God, thank God," Dan whispered over and over, even though he knew that Phil was going to be here even after he'd passed, that he was going to stay with Dan for eternity and longer, until they were just specks of dust in a large, meaningless expanse of nothingness.
Phil was here, and he was never going to leave.
After they parted, Phil kissed Dan once more on the lips, and then took his hand. They were both ignoring the soulless body lying on the bed behind them, not wanting to look back at what Phil's life used to be, and instead focused on each other.
"So?" Phil asked, cocking his head. He was smiling so widely that his tongue was sticking between his teeth. "What God am I, then?"
Dan didn't have to even think to know the answer. He'd known it as soon as he'd first laid eyes on Phil, known it as soon as he saw that gorgeous smile and the way he carried himself. He knew it by the yellow glow surrounding him and the ethereal beauty that took Dan's breath away.
"You're the God of Life."
--
Part 2
Dan loved everything about Phil. He loved the way his black hair shimmers in the sunlight, the way his smile got so large that his tongue poked out from his teeth. He loved how Phil had a bright aura around him, shining so brightly as if he were the sun itself. He just loved Phil. A lot. And he wasn't ashamed to admit it.
But the one thing that Dan liked the most about Phil was his performance in bed.
Over the past few thousand years, Dan's learned that Phil is amazing in bed. He didn't know whether that was because he had a lot of practice on Dan, or if he'd had a lot of practice while he was still alive. He had been a prince after all; do princes screw around a lot?
Dan didn't know, but either way, he was grateful to have Phil all to himself now. He was grateful that he could have Phil fuck him into the mattress for the rest of eternity. Dan was truly a lucky man.
Like now, Dan was incredibly lucky to have Phil kissing down his neck, sucking and biting at his skin to leave red marks in his wake. Phil had this thing where he wanted everyone to know that Dan was owned, that Dan was his for now and forever. Plus, they really enjoyed when Theos would look at the marks and make that disgusted face, just because he hated the thought of Dan and Phil being happy together. It made a thrill go through them at the thought of that.
Phil was so soft, so loving and gentle when he dealt tried to make Dan feel good. His lips were warm against Dan's cool skin, leaving trails of fire behind that made Dan completely melt underneath him. He was already coming apart at the seams, but that was just what Phil could do to him, he supposed. Dan reckoned that Phil could just blow him a kiss and Dan would probably faint from sheer happiness.
Phil nuzzled his nose along Dan's chin, breathing against his neck. It made his lips brush against the skin and Dan whimpered, tilting his head to the side to allow Phil more access. Goosebumps rose along Dan's skin, and Phil chuckled, kissing his throat. "Feel good already?" he accentuated his words with a grind downwards, making Dan squeak as their cocks pressed together deliciously.
A swarm of heat took over Dan's body, and he couldn't tell if it was because he did feel good, or because he was just completely embarrassed. "Mm," Dan breathed, his eyes fluttering shut as Phil bit down on his collarbone, then ground down once more. It was sort of like a game. Bite, grind, bite, grind. It was driving Dan wild.
Dan was already a sweating mess underneath Phil, panting and moaning at the ministrations. Phil's tongue was talented, that's for sure, and he definitely knew what made Dan tick, knew the way Dan would squeal if he flicked his tongue over the nub of his nipple, or how Dan's eyes would roll if he tugged at his hair the right way. In Dan's opinion, Phil was the best person in the entire universe to have in bed. But maybe Dan was also biased because he'd never been with someone else in such a way before.
It's no wonder why Phil was the God of Life. Because he was certainly bringing life to Dan's dick right then.
Phil's fingers, so slim and steady despite the way Dan was quivering under his touch, unclasped Dan's cloak. He let it fall over Dan's shoulders, and Dan sat up so he could take off his undershirt as well, leaving him bare-chested and completely vulnerable. It'd been awhile since anyone aside from Phil had seen Dan unclothed, and he definitely didn't miss the days when he was a human and clothes weren't yet a thing.
Now whenever Dan had his clothes off, it seemed to only result in Phil touching him all over, palms hot and heavy on his skin, fingers dancing along the insides of his thighs, gently caressing every inch that Phil could reach.
He always started with those fingers. He would pull at Dan's hair and inch his way under Dan's cloak, scritching his nails down Dan's sides to make him squirm. His lips would soon join, hotly kissing Dan and letting his tongue slip into Dan's mouth while those sinful fingers fiddled with the button on Dan's trousers.
"You okay, love?" Phil asked, because Dan had spaced out, his eyes half closed and glossy. He was staring at Phil's ceiling, the way the galaxy moved in a spiral motion, but he wasn't actually seeing any of it. He was lost in Phil's touch, the way Phil was leaning over him, their chests firmly pressed together and one of Phil's legs between Dan's thigh. His knee was rubbing circular motions into Dan's crotch to stimulate him, and it was working.
Damn, Phil knew how to work Dan up.
"So good," Dan rasped out, leaning into Phil's touch as he caressed his face with gentle fingers.
Phil was looking at him with an expression of heated fondness, of love, and it was making Dan feel a bit dizzy. "Can I keep going?" Phil asked softly, and Dan didn't have to be asked twice before he was nodding violently.
And then Phil was kissing him again, nipping at his lips, his thumbs pulling down Dan's trousers. They had to part so Dan could kick them off, and Phil took full advantage to strip at that time as well, revealing the beautiful expanse of skin that Dan loved so much.
He was pale. So, so pale. He seemed to radiate some sort of light, and he had freckles that dotted along his shoulders that Dan liked to connect with a string of kisses. Dan reached for him again so he could do just that, nipping at his shoulders because he's always had a fascination with bite marks. Especially bite marks he'd left in Phil's skin.
One of Dan's favourite things in the entire universe was being naked with Phil. He liked how Phil's body was so soft and warm. Dan liked to grab onto his love handles, liked to give them a little squeeze as he ground their dicks together, creating a delicious friction that made them both moan. Phil was so warm against Dan, and Dan focused on the way their chests slid together and the way his own cock was already dripping precum, making a mess out of both he and Phil.
"You're so wet already," Phil purred into Dan's ear, and Dan could do nothing but moan as Phil's hand finally wrapped around his cock. His thumb swiped through the precum gathered at the tip, and he used that as lube to give his cock a couple of jerks. "You're so pliant already, too. So hard. Have you been thinking about this all day again?"
Dan moaned, bucked into Phil's hand, and nodded. "Want you," he begged, and Phil tsked at him, kissing him softly. The kiss was such a contrast to how he had been handling Dan originally, but Dan always liked a tad of gentleness thrown in there so he didn't mind. Of course he didn't.
Phil pushed Dan into the bed, put nearly all of his weight onto him to keep him pinned there. His legs were on either side of Dan's hips, and Dan kicked a bit out of frustration as Phil took his hand away from his dick. But his frustration didn't last long before Phil was wrapping his fist around both of their cocks and jerking them off in time together. "A little foreplay never hurt anybody," Phil reprimanded him. "Be patient. It's not gonna kill you, you know."
The joke fell flat in Dan's current state. The sensation of Phil's cock pressed up tight against his was almost too much for him. Phil's dick was such a wonderful thing, in Dan's opinion. It was thick and a tad longer than Dan's, which was perfect. That also meant that when Phil was jerking them both off, Dan could feel the head of his cock nudging right beneath the head of Phil's, creating an entirely different sensation. Phil was leaking precum too, and it made for a great lube. The thought of their cum mixing together, Phil's hand using it as lube to jerk them both off, made Dan's toes curl and his head throw back against the pillow.
"Ph- Phil, please," Dan gasped out. He felt as though he were suffocating. "Please just fuck me already. I need you so bad."
Phil hummed, thinking about it. His hand came to a slow, steady pace, which made Dan whine even more. He tried to squirm, but Phil kept him trapped firmly in place with his own body. "Suck me off first," Phil ordered. "I need your pretty little lips wrapped around my dick. Suck the life out of me, yeah?"
Through his haze, Dan picked up on the pun and he glared at his lover, shaking his head. "Now's not the time for stupid pun- oh!" Dan gasped out suddenly, stopping mid sentence as Phil's hand went a bit lower until he was pressing a dry finger against Dan's entrance.
He rubbed a little bit at the rippled skin, rubbing circles there to stimulate Dan as he ground their cocks together. "Don't talk back to me," Phil ordered, and Dan nodded. "But since you're so impatient today, I'll let you off a bit and finger your pretty hole while you suck my cock."
Dan could have shouted for joy at that very moment. He scrambled out from under Phil to grab the lube from his bedside table, tossing it at him. "You don't want me to morph into a girl today, right?" Dan teased, because they'd tried that once and it was one of the strangest experiences of Dan's life.
Phil dropped the dominating act for a moment and let out a giggle, shaking his head. "Shut the fuck up! I'm trying to be sexy," he whined. Dan didn't want to make him smug, so he didn't mention that it was definitely working. As usual. "I just want you as your pretty self today. You're perfect."
Dan didn't dare mention that his actual self was a skeleton, because then that'd probably ruin the mood. So instead, he stayed quiet and climbed on top of Phil, knees on either side of Phil's shoulders and his own face inches away from Phil's delicious cock.
"Ready, love?" Phil asked quietly, and Dan gave his consent by taking the tip of Phil's cock into his mouth.
He moaned at the taste. The wonderful saltiness exploding on his tongue. Phil was arguably one of the tastiest things in the universe, and Dan could probably suck him off for hours if his jaw didn't lock up from Phil's girth.
He sucked Phil down with vigour, his tongue laving at the skin, lapping at the precum that collected at the tip. Meanwhile, Phil lubed up his fingers and began to tease Dan's rim before pushing his index finger inside.
Dan pulled off of Phil's dick slightly to let out a breath, nuzzling into Phil's thigh. He always loved Phil's fingers, how they were so long and delicate and knew exactly where to press that would make Dan keen. Phil pressed kisses to Dan's inner thighs, occasionally biting, and Dan could feel his own cock absolutely dripping with anticipation.
"Keep sucking," Phil murmured against his skin, and Dan couldn't disobey. He shuddered as Phil crooked his fingers in just the right spot, pressing against his walls, before he inserted another finger to stretch Dan open.
Dan took Phil in his mouth again, taking in as much as he could. Phil's hips bucked slightly, forcing him just that little bit further into Dan's mouth until his dick was nudging the back of Dan's throat. Dan gagged, but he refused to cough even though his eyes were watering. He liked this. He liked choking on Phil's dick. It made him even wetter, if possible.
Phil finally inserted the third and final finger, beginning to scissor Dan open. It made him feel more prepared, like he was completely ready to take Phil's dick. He knew that this was going to make him see stars, and he couldn't deny how wonderfully excited he was. But then again, he was always a slut for Phil's dick.
"Think you're ready for me?" Phil asked again, patting Dan's thigh. He kissed Dan's asscheek too, a friendly and loving peck that made Dan feel warm all over. He was such a good partner to have in bed, one that truly cared about what his partner was feeling and wanting.
Dan's answer came in the form of scrambling off of Phil and turning himself around. He laid on top of Phil, his expression wanton and full of love. He probably looked like everything that Death wasn't. Rosy cheeked, eyes full of fondness, completely falling apart at the seams. A horny Death.
Phil cupped his cheeks with both of his hands and kissed him, their lips moulding together and making Dan feel whole. Phil was his other half, and being with him like this was the absolute best thing in the world. They kissed for another moment, Dan's eyes watering for no reason other than the fact that he was so full of adoration, until they became too antsy. Phil needed to be inside of Dan. Right now.
Dan didn't want to think about the last time when they'd waited to have sex and Theos had decided to kill someone off in that moment, forcing Dan to disappear out of the room with a suddenly-empty ass, and a Phil who had to finish himself off with a lonely hand.
Dan reached behind him and grabbed Phil's dick, lubing it up and guiding it to his hole. He felt the tip circling his rim, and he quivered in anticipation. Phil leaned up and kissed his cheek as he pressed in, stretching Dan wide to accommodate his size. Dan moaned and dropped his head, his eyelashes fluttering and his chest turning the same shade as cherry blossoms. Phil was whispering in his ear, telling him how good he felt, how well he was doing, how Dan took his cock so well.
Dan lowered himself until Phil had completely bottomed out, buried inside of him to the hilt. Dan could feel inch by inch pressing against his wall, so warm, making him so full. He always became the biggest baby whenever Phil's dick was inside of him, babbling and whimpering, actual tears sometimes falling down his cheeks. He just couldn't help it Dan had truly never known pleasure until he'd first had Phil inside of him.
"Can I move?" Phil murmured after a moment, and Dan could tell that he was struggling to stay still. His hips were quivering, and Dan could feel his dick pulsing inside of him, his hands squeezing tight to Dan's hips.
"Please," Dan choked out, and then Phil let himself go.
His hands, that were originally grabbing onto Dan's hips, were now wrapped around the small of Dan's back. Dan fell forward and Phil held him to him, keeping him in place as he pulled out slowly, oh so slowly, before slamming back inside. Dan could have sworn his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he made the squeakiest noise ever, something between a moan and a whimper. It was just that Phil was pressing into him so well, and it made him want to just let Phil pound into him for all of eternity.
If only the other gods could see Dan now. He probably looked like Adoré with his doey eyes and rosy cheeks. He was certainly as loud as Leonidas and Theos whenever they were fucking, and he had no doubt that they were going to get called out as soon as they left the room. Lucky for them, they didn't have to see all of the marks Phil had left in his wake, literally Dan's chest and thighs. He always made sure to wear his cloak hood extra high those days, because Phil apparently couldn't maintain a serious work demeanor and not leave marks on him. The other gods always liked to take bets on who would top in their relationship, most of them agreeing that Dan would definitely be the one topping considering how edgy he was. Little did they know, Dan actually liked having Phil's monster cock shoved inside of his ass.
Phil held Dan down, biting into his collarbone, as he slammed his hips up in just the right way that made Dan keen. He hit a spot inside of Dan that made him arch his back, giving his own neglected cock some friction. He was leaking all over their stomachs, so wet, but they didn't pay any mind to it as Phil continued to pound into him.
"Ph-Phil-!" Dan whined, burying his hot face into Phil's neck. The emotions, the sensations, were getting to be too much for him and he started to cry, the tears dripping down his cheeks and landing on Phil's naked shoulders. He wasn't crying because he was in pain, no, but because it just felt so good that he couldn't keep it in any longer.
Phil grunted and released his arms from around Dan's back. He flipped them over to give them a new angle, so he could hit Dan's prostate with each thrust, so that he was pounding so deep inside of Dan that Dan began to writhe. "You good?" Phil moaned, kissing Dan's forehead. He always did this when Dan started crying, although by now he was definitely aware that Dan wasn't crying because he wanted to stop.
"Mhm," Dan managed to get out, but his eyes were glossy and he couldn't seem to keep his hips still. He reached between his legs to give himself some much needed relief, the touch making him seeing stars. He was arching his back, his head thrown back, his eyes closed, and his mouth was gaping open with pleasure.
"Stay still," Phil whined, and he grabbed Dan's hips again to keep him in place. With that, he didn't take mercy on Dan. He began to slam into him so hard that the headboard rattled against the wall and the sounds of their thighs slapping together.
At this point, Dan was far gone. All he could focus on was the pleasure that had taken over his body, making him boneless, making him a creature of pleasure. He felt like a succubus, taking energy in the form of sex, taking energy from Phil's dick. He was close already and it bothered him because he wanted to keep going forever. But he couldn't, and that sucked.
Thankfully, Phil was close too, and Dan could tell by the way that his hips had started to stutter, his thrusts becoming sloppy. He had this beautiful red blush over his cheeks and his aura glowed so bright that Dan could barely keep his eyes open anymore. Well, he had already been having trouble keeping his eyes opened due to pleasure, but this was certainly adding to it.
With one more thrust into Dan's prostate, Dan inhaled a breath, and then let out a long whine as he started to cum. His vision went completely white and his head dropped onto the pillow. He was moaning, gasping, writhing on the bed, and not even Phil's hands on his hips could keep him still. He was completely at peace, the best feeling in the world had just hit him like a freight train.
He didn't even realise that his skin had melted away with his good vibes until Phil began to groan in frustration, even though there was a little bit of laughter coming out of his throat as well.
Dan cracked open his eyes and looked down, to see that his physical body had dissipated, leaving behind a skeleton, and Phil had literally came on his bones. Where his ass used to be was now just his pelvic bone. Thankfully, Phil had pulled away before any harm could come to him and that beautiful dick, but apparently he had been so close to orgasm that he couldn't hold it back.
Now, Dan was a skeleton. A skeleton with a smatter of white cum smeared all over his pelvic bone. And the only thing he could think was not again.
"I'm so sorry!" Dan squeaked, scrambling up. He tried to conjure up his physical form again, but he was still theoretically boneless and couldn't wrap his head around what had happened, so his body stubbornly stayed in his natural form.
Phil didn't seem to care. He was laughing so hard that his face had gone bright red and his eyes were shining like the aura surrounding him. He was still naked, his cock growing soft, still slick with cum and lube. "I can't believe-!" he started, shaking his head and bursting into another round of laughter.
Dan glared at him and sat up enough so that he could smack Phil with his boney hand. "Shut the fuck up! You know I can't help it sometimes!"
It didn't stop the laughter. Phil was laughing as he grabbed a towel. He was laughing as he wet it under the sink. And he was laughing as he came over to start to clean off Dan's bones so he was free of cum. And other sticky substances.
Dan just pouted as best as he could and sat back, allowing Phil to clean him up. When Dan had gotten enough time to relax his brain and gain his breath back, only then was he able to conjure up his physical form, glaring at Phil as the laughing continued.
"You are the worst person ever," Dan told him flatly. "I never should have saved your ass all those years ago if you were going to make fun of me for something like this."
Phil snorted and sat next to him on the bed. He opened his arms wide, and because Dan was weak, he cuddled into his arms with only a grumble and a sad whine. Phil was just really warm and he appreciated it so much because Dan, himself, was pretty cold in comparison. "You know I love you," Phil said. HIs voice was so tender that it made Dan melt. Not literally this time, thankfully.
Dan sighed but leaned up to kiss Phil on the lips. "I love you too. Especially because you don't blink an eye when I turn to a skeleton during sex."
"I definitely think it's weird, but I love you so I put up with it."