Chapter Seventy Eight
Everything was dark. Infinite blackness that stretched on and on, an endless void of sheer nothingness that terrified and disoriented me. I couldn't think.
Couldn't breathe.
"Help me..."
The voice was soft, weak, broken. It echoed. Where was I? Who was calling for help? Why could I not see anything?
It terrified me that those questions had only just occurred to me. They should have been foremost in my mind.
"Help me..."
Who was calling me? Who needed help? Where were they? Where was I?
The questions kept chasing each other through my mind as the panic rose.
"Help me, someone... please..."
Just as suddenly as it had arrived, the darkness vanished, leaving me blinded. Confusion flooded me when I found myself standing in the middle of a dance club. The strobe lights were flashing, brilliant and beautiful and full of life, but the building was completely empty.
Dance clubs were never completely empty.
Something was wrong.
This was wrong.
I turned, heart racing, wanting to find the front door.
I shouldn't be here.
Something was very, very wrong.
I turned, but every movement was slow... and when I finished I saw a long hallway with a black door at the end. The club was gone, the flashing lights were gone, instead there was an old, stained brown carpet and peeling yellowed paisley wallpaper.
I stood still, staring at the dark door with horror in my heart, making me want to panic and run in the opposite direction, but the hallway... it stretched. My pulse pounded in sheer terror as the door loomed at me, closing the distance, and I could only stand there completely frozen.
Flashes.
I saw flashes, and then, there was... something... but what was it? What were those flashes?
What was happening?
The visions swum and blurred, metal... ripping metal, clinking metal, shredding metal... crying, I heard crying, and saw something white, but brilliant blue... the eyes. I knew those eyes. I felt my stomach twist until I thought I would vomit, wanting to cry out to those unblinking eyes.
I heard tinkling music... a familiar song, as I looked at those wide, dead eyes streaming tears.
Tears...?
Tears... the eyes were crying?
No... they were crying... they'd been crying... but now they couldn't.
I suddenly saw lips loom out of the dark, slowly taking form beneath the crying eyes, followed by a familiar nose. My pulse skipped, stuttered, and I wanted to stop... all of a sudden I didn't want to see that face, to know it, to remember it, even though I still didn't really know why.
I didn't want to remember those crying eyes, the eyes I used to know.
I would have screamed and backed up, but I couldn't.
I was frozen.
Those wide, dead eyes stared through my soul... asking me a question.
A question that ripped me in two.
The lips shook... parted.
"How could you?"
My heart immediately seized with agony unlike anything I'd ever felt as a glob of dark blood gushed from behind those lips, staining white skin red. I wanted to reach out, to stop the blood, to help the dead eyes, to save them... but the floor vanished and I fell into darkness.
My consciousness started spinning wildly, blurring and sweeping until I had no idea which way was up. There was an eerie sound like the crackle of static mixed with the ringing in my ears.
"Help me..."
There it was... that voice again. Who was it?
Who was calling for help?
"Help me... please..."
To my horror, I realized at the very last second that it was me calling for help, it was me begging for release. A fit of dread washed through me as a strange presence suddenly enfolded me. I was being watched... something was here in the dark with me, something that wanted to harm me.
Something... knew.
It knew me.
It knew my fears, knew how afraid of it I was, and it relished in that. It touched me like a soft brush of silk as I tumbled around and around with the rushing in my ears. I felt it sink into me, slipping in behind my eyes, filling my head, my nose, my mind, suffocating me like liquid dark.
"Oh... you naughty bitch... you naughty, filthy, nasty little bitch..."
"Please, stop..."
"You filthy whore, I'm going to--"
"Stop..."
"--and---"
"Stop."
"--you will never--"
"JUST STOP ALREADY!" I screamed, eyes shooting open wide; a strange jolt went through my gut as I fully woke up, hair flying up and over my face as I bolted upright. My breathing heaved in and out in short, rapid gasps and I rubbed my prickling face with hands that felt cold and shaky.
Sweat drenched my naked body, plastering my hair to my skin, but I was shivering madly.
I swallowed hard, wincing when the scratchiness of my thirst hit me hard. My entire body was sensitive again, a testament to the fact that I was going to need blood either by tomorrow night around the same or the evening after that, at the very latest.
The room was dark except for the pale glow of the full moon flooding through my open window. I blinked when I felt a cold breeze washing against my skin and stirring my hair, turning to see that the black-out curtains had been drawn back and the window in my bedroom had indeed been opened wide. It was only at the last second that I realized I was completely alone.
I looked around for Sebastian, momentarily confused until it hit me that he'd probably left to prepare for his transformation hours ago. I rubbed my face, trying to steady my breathing, then slid out of bed. I took a minute to throw on my favorite yellow hoodie and a pair of boxers.
After making sure the hemline of my sweatshirt was safely below my knees, I made my way out into the hall and looked around. Woody's bedroom door was wide open and so was his window, but he was nowhere to be seen which puzzled me.
I dazedly headed over to poke my head inside but saw nothing of interest so I inhaled, trying to catch a smell that might point to where he'd gone. Needless to say I was unsuccessful. I pulled back, shaking my head, and tentatively headed into the living room to peer around.
Every single window in the cabin had been opened.
The curtains were drawn back, and the entire place was oddly cold.
I shivered, rubbing my arms, since all the lights were off and I was alone in the cabin.
"They must have left to keep from wrecking stuff again," I murmured, recalling the damage that had been done to the plantation house. "I guess it's gonna be a long night. Why would they open the windows, though? I'll have to shut them if the sun comes up before they get back."
I let out a sigh and made my way over to the window behind the living room love seat. A gust of cold October wind brushed my long hair back as I leaned on the sill, making me shiver slightly, but I breathed in the refreshing mountain air with a feeling of clarity. The sound of the wind rustling in the trees filled my ears, and I watched as red and brown leaves fell like rain.
I raised my eyes to the brilliant round moon and set my head on my arms.
Wondering when Sebastian was going to come back.
It was hard for me to believe how much had happened to me recently. The man who'd originally wanted to murder me had become my boyfriend, and what was more, I had been the one to ask him out! It would have been absurd if there hadn't been deeper meaning behind it all.
We'd had such a terrible start to our relationship, had hated each other, had wanted each other dead, had hurt and attacked each other in different ways... yet, here I was, wondering like some sort of lovesick fool when he was going to come back. I was already missing his warmth.
I wondered, momentarily, how I'd fallen for him so quickly but dismissed the thought.
It doesn't matter why or how, I mentally chided myself, breathing in deeply. I've dedicated myself to loving him... understanding him, knowing him, and going through life together... he's been alone for hundreds of years. He deserves to be loved and so do I.
Another, sharper wind rushed into the window and I shivered as my hair was blasted back.
Things, for what felt like the first time in forever, were normal.
It made my stomach churn uneasily.
Not that I wanted another supernatural crisis to invade my life—god, no. I was still figuring out how to deal with the present one, thank you very much, but without Woody, Tiffany, or Bash... the cabin had become almost eerily quiet, like the calm before a storm.
The last thing I needed or wanted was another storm, especially when there was still so much rebuilding to be done after the last one. I'd fallen into love too quickly, and a part of me felt like it had been too easy—I just couldn't stop. A part of me didn't trust this. Deep in the back of my head, my subconscious kept telling me that there had to be a catch, somewhere.
These nightmares, for example... the voice I kept hearing...
I remembered little to nothing about them, but I did recall that I'd felt like I was being watched and that I'd heard someone speaking to me, but not like a memory from a dream. It made me uneasy, as if some underlying disaster were looming on the horizon, or some new bad guy was flying my way just below the radar, waiting for me to get comfortable in my new sense of safety before ambushing me and making the world crash down around me again.
Not to mention, I didn't like the silence of the empty cabin.
This was the silence of being alone. The silence I'd felt every single day of my life until he'd walked into it and changed everything. I thought of my mother's song, of the old music box, and the melody I'd heard at the end of Castle in the Sky. I thought of Sebastian, too, thought of all of it combined. It made my heart calm down, made me remember how to pass the time.
I looked up at the moon, thinking about my life and how complex it was, the nightmares creeping up on me and the overall feeling of something being wrong. It felt like I'd been drifting from lows to highs and now I was frozen, floating over a void called the unknown.
Unbidden, a song from a long long time ago came into my head and as I stood there, staring at the empty but beautiful sky, emotion welled up.
"I've been having dreams," I softly hummed, looking through the stars rather than at them, hiding deep in my own head as I vibed out. "Jumping on a trampoline... flipping in the air... I never land, I just float there. As I'm looking up... suddenly the sky erupts... flames alight the trees, and spread to falling leaves, now they're right upon me."
I drew in a deep breath, fingers digging into the sill before I leaned forward and thundered, "Wait if I'm on fire! How am I so deep in love? When I dream of dying... I NEVER FEEL SO LOVED!!!"
My voice echoed off into the mountains, high and sweet and full of the thing that was making me ache. I paused, staring off at nothing. Feeling lonely. Then I set my head on the sill.
The echoes of my voice died on the wind.
I stood there for a moment, wondering when Sebastian was coming back, until a strange and very loud beeping noise came from somewhere behind me. I whirled around, head snapping towards Woody's bedroom, but I narrowed my eyes as I listened to another beep.
Is than an alarm? I wondered, trotting across the living room and making my way over to Woody's room; I winced since the shrill beeps were almost deafening up close. I covered my ears as I stepped inside the threshold, peering around for the source.
To my confusion, it was coming from a computer sitting on Woody's desk.
A holographic window had escaped the screen and was slowly moving around, flashing red with a caution sign. I frowned in concern and moved closer, peering at the hologram to see the text. My gut clenched when I made out the words 'perimeter alarm' and I went stiff.
"What the heck?" I muttered, snagging the mouse and clearing the alarm notification. I was a bit confused and disturbed, especially since modern day security systems were extremely advanced. It wouldn't surprise me at all if Woody had installed one around his home to notify him if something human-sized or larger crossed any of the required sensory perimeters.
His status as an outcast and the unusual nature of his being had made him a target before, and he'd even said he'd had situations where normal humans had tried to rob him at gunpoint. A chill went through me and I froze, remembering that all of the windows were open.
All of the curtains had been drawn back.
"Wait a minute..." I whispered, hair standing up with a wave of fear. "What's going on...?"
I was afraid, for a moment, in some irrational part of my brain that I had been intentionally left alone so something bad would indeed happen to me, but I did the smart thing and tried to rationalize what could have set off the alarm. I swallowed hard.
It was probably Tiffany, Woody, or Sebastian himself, I mentally reasoned, turning around and hastily speeding out of Woody's room and over to the nearest window; I peered outside, leaning out slightly, but didn't see anything. I did it again in the window across the room, and then the next one, and the next, going over to each window so I could peek at the cabin's surroundings.
To my confusion, I didn't see anything at all... I was almost ready to call it a false alarm.
And then I looked out the last window.
My scalp prickled and my skin jerked, fright rushing through my body as I spotted the hulking silhouette of an amber-eyed wolf looking at me in plain sight. My breathing hitched and my knees turned to jelly, but I refused to fall and instead caught myself on the window sill.
The beast was close enough for me to see that it was looking directly at me, but far enough that I couldn't make out any colors or distinguishing features. My heart skipped and palpitated, ears ringing as I grew strangely lightheaded.
I fought for air, nails digging into the wood as I tried to stay upright, but with every pulse of my stuttering heart the strange ringing in my ears grew louder. My legs trembled, and I had to bite my lip so as not to cry out. Icy cold waves of horror continued to swamp me and shivers ran through my body, adding to my discomfort.
The shock of seeing it... the way it had startled me... my heart... had been it too much?
Or was I simply getting ready to faint because of the shock?
Strange spots swam before my eyes, spinning around me along with the rest of the world which had suddenly decided to start whirling and dipping. I knew I needed to sit down, but I couldn't even see the wolf anymore, the silhouette had long-since vanished.
I would never be able to make it to a chair.
Blackness clouded the corners of my vision, creeping steadily closer at an alarming rate. I heard a distant crash from somewhere far away, but could not make out what was happening. As if in a dream, I felt myself falling backwards towards the floor, but the painful impact never came.
Instead, I hit something soft that cushioned my body and caused me to slide to a sitting position rather than completely flat. I swayed dizzily, taking deep breaths as I fought to stay conscious. I kept my eyes closed, waiting carefully until the spots had receded to move my body.
My pulse slowly returned to normal, ruling out that it wasn't a heart attack or a heart failure.
I was certain I'd have been dead or unconscious in that moment if it were.
I took a deep breath and slowly let it out before carefully opening my eyes. My back was resting against something soft and slightly warm, which confused me. I slowly turned my head, cheek brushing against what felt like soft fur... and as my vision cleared up, I realized it was a familiar chocolate brown and relief flooded through me.
"Oh, my God," I breathed, lifting a hand and clutching the wolf's fur. "Bash... you scared the hell out of me... don't ever do that again, okay? I thought my heart was about to give out."
A chuffing noise and a puff of air that rushed across my cheek was the only response I got. I turned to look at the horse-sized wolf sitting on the floor of Woody's entryway, locking eyes with the creature's massive irises. They were looking down at me lazily, but attentively. When I shifted my body so I could curl up against him, his head cocked and his ears swiveled.
It hit me in a wave of delirium that this was real, that we were real, that we existed and I had a sudden existential crisis that made the world swirl with the reality that I was me.
I was a vampire.
This wolf was Sebastian. His other half. The animal that he was.
Unlike the last time, though, I felt absolutely no fear and I didn't hesitate in burying my face against his fur at all. My skin practically buzzed because of his presence, but I still pressed myself as close to him as I possibly could. He was massive in comparison to me while he was like this.
I could have ridden him like a steed if I'd ever gotten the guts to attempt it.
His paws alone were the size of my whole face, his legs the size of my mid-thigh. His head was literally more than twice the size of mine, too... if I had to guess, his body length was probably around nine or ten feet long--thirteen or fourteen if his tail was included. Width wise, he was about three feet to four feet, girthy, with lean, healthy muscles and glossy chocolate brown fur.
I baldly met his unblinking stare, cheek pillowed against his soft coat.
"You're beautiful like this," I absently murmured, and a slow blink met my gaze. "I never really thought about it much, but wolves are gorgeous creatures... you're beautiful, Sebastian."
That massive head craned and leaned close to my face; I closed my left eye when I received the slightest of licks against my skin. Moments later, that massive torso shifted and he rolled on his side, exposing his belly without taking that sharp gaze off my face.
I didn't know what the gesture meant, but the air was chilly, and he was warm so without thinking I pulled myself over to where he was lying and snuggled down against his furry body, pulling my legs up and pillowing my head against one of those massive forelegs.
He remained completely still save for his breathing, and I was lulled by his heat.
This was the first full moon since the incident with Richard tearing into my shoulder, and I was... surprisingly okay. I couldn't quite figure it out. I wasn't complaining, exactly, it just unnerved me a bit about how calm I was. Not that I wanted to not be okay, of course.
As I lay there, pressed against the warm stomach of the animal that was my boyfriend, I started spiraling around in circles deep within my own head as I wondered what life really was. I felt him shift and his huge foreleg suddenly bent until a massive plate-sized paw bumped my chest.
It stayed there, sharp nails digging into my yellow hoodie, pressing my sternum so my back would be forced closer to his belly. The action kept me grounded, kept me from sinking into a state of subtle panic... and as crazy as it was, his silent reassurance calmed me down, too.
He'd probably sensed the shift in my mood.
The universe worked in mysterious ways... to throw so much at me, to take so much away from me, to leave me barren and alone for so many years only to shove something as crazy as a new relationship with my would-be killer right into my face. Even stranger... we were slowly but very steadily starting to work as a couple. Our dynamic worked, our personalities worked.
It all just... meshed in a way I wasn't used to.
I knew that as time went on I was bound to get used to this lifestyle, at some point. Maybe I would get back into easy, fun, and far more human things-like perhaps going to college a second time so I could learn new things about life, and how technology had been upgraded, and how history had impacted the modern world. You know, normal things.
Sebastian had managed to build and help build some of the biggest business empires in the world all while keeping his identity as a werewolf safely hidden, which was probably easier than I'd initially believed. Government inspections aside, people didn't think vampires were real.
Same went for werewolves.
Perhaps with him being who he was, I wouldn't have to worry about being discovered and I could pursue my biggest passions in life. Maybe it was time to try getting back on my feet.
Sure, I was still unnerved by it all. I wasn't sure when my life had become so messed up that 'supernatural disasters' had become my new normal, but it had—and I found myself yearning for some sense of normality. So, I got my first dose of it by cuddling my wolf man very closely.
It was weird, and abnormal, and felt kind of wrong on so many different levels, and I knew it was because this big feral canine was actually the same man who'd made love to me, but the fact was that I loved him and was willing to accept all of him.
Even the wolf he became on the full moon and the frightening, bipedal, monstrous-looking Lycan he could turn into.
I noticed after a time that his eyes were flitting to and fro and darting around the room, scanning everything as if he were on hyper alert, ready to pounce and protect at even the slightest hint of danger, the smallest threat... and my heart warmed because I knew he was guarding me.
I didn't know why I knew, but I did.
I buried my face in his fur and inhaled deeply, surprised to discover that it smelled exactly like his underarms. Spicy, earthy, warm... it was the thought of him being here, and being real, and being alive that kept my spiraling mind at bay, that made my shoulders relax and my lungs breathe easy. I'd always needed an anchor—it was just a part of being what I was.
I wanted him to be my anchor.
I felt his body shift slightly as I sat there, hands balled into his fur, face pressed against his belly.
If he was bothered by my actions, he didn't indicate it.
I wanted to be his anchor, too. I wanted to be the one who could help him if he was feeling unhappy, or lost... I knew the possibility of him leaning on me like that was slim, but I couldn't help but want it—if there was anything in this world that I wanted more than love, it was for my partner to be okay... because that's what true lovers were supposed to want.
It was what they were supposed to do.
People in love would pick up each other's pieces when they fell apart and help to glue them back together. Sebastian had done it for me each and every time I'd broken down recently... he'd reached out to help me, comfort me, and anchor me.
I turned my head when a particularly strong breeze caressed my skin and gasped when I saw that Woody's front door had been busted clean off its hinges and broken in half, all thoughts of our present situation going right out the window.
"Oh, fuck," I whispered, face screwing up; Sebastian's head raised off the ground, ears facing me and eyes narrowing in an almost human-like manner. "You totally destroyed Woody's front door... oh, man, I hope he's not upset about it."
I heard a snort, and the wolf's head thumped back down.
Very little to no reaction.
"Bash?" I whispered hesitantly. "Tonight is... the one night that you can't control what happens to your body, right?"
His ear swiveled and I heard a singular thump from his tail.
He didn't even bother looking at me.
I took that as a yes.
"You didn't have to leave me here alone," I said seriously, and at that I did get a reaction; he lifted his head and swiveled it again to look right at me. "I don't know why you did... for all I know you wanted to make sure the others were doing all right down at your house before and after you all transformed, but... if it was because you were afraid I'd be afraid or something--"
He immediately rolled upright, knocking me away from him, and I landed haphazardly on the floor with my arms spread, blinking at the ceiling as he rose and towered over me. Two heavy paws came down on either side of my head and suddenly his body was hovering above mine.
His muzzle came down, inch by inch, glowing eyes flaring brightly.
I didn't so much as twitch when he bumped my nose with his.
His stare didn't change, didn't flicker, didn't waver... I may not have been able to read it, but I could tell that there was solid intensity in that look he gave me. He bumped and gently nuzzled my face with that wet nose, puffing air across my cheeks. Warm breath wafted across my face as his mouth opened, revealing a ferocious set of sharp teeth that could rip me to pieces.
I felt nothing.
No fear, no apprehension, no worry... I simply watched in awe as he yawned, an involuntary whine escaping his throat as he did so. His jaw snapped shut seconds later and he blinked down at me, cocking his head to one side. After a moment, he huffed before padding down the hall.
I flinched, face scrunching as his furry tail whacked me, and sat up to follow his path with my eyes. He paused right in front of my bedroom door and turned to give me a long look before he faced forward and squeezed his massive body through the doorway.
If that wasn't a message to say get the fuck over here, I don't know what is, I mentally sighed, shakily crawling to my feet and brushing my hoodie off. I wasted little time returning to my room, but I was admittedly a bit shocked to see that he'd managed to curl himself up on the bed Woody had given me considering the thing was much too small in comparison.
It was a wonder the damn thing hadn't broken to pieces under his weight.
Still, I thoughtlessly crawled into the bed and squeezed into the gap of his body, settling down and making myself comfortable. I leaned back, my head underneath his, and closed my eyes as the temperature all around me skyrocketed. I shivered in delight and relaxed involuntarily.
The warmth made me feel so sleepy that I almost nodded off.
I would have, to be honest, if I hadn't felt something shifting against my hair.
A satisfied rumble vibrated through Sebastian's chest, jarring me a little, but I soon settled back in and started sinking into sleep. I didn't think I'd ever met a more stunning creature than Sebastian D'Agostino. He was tough and brave and hot and strong. I'd known him for less than two months, but I couldn't deny what my instincts were telling me.
He would go to the ends of the world for me.
I didn't want that though... I wanted him to stay.
The ends of the world, after all, were much too far.
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Author's Note: This chapter was surprisingly hard to write. I was stumped for ideas on how to fluff and plot this chapter due to my health taking another unexpected dip, hooray for being sick, so I apologize if it feels a bit bare bones. This is simply a connector to the next major plot point, though. Hope you guys keep enjoying.