I sat waiting and watching for my mom's taxi to pull up outside, her plane touched down in L.A not more then 15 minutes ago and Ronnie's house wasn't far from the local L.A airport she would be here anytime soon now , as much as i persisted against her flying over to L.A in the first place i was actually now dying to hug her i truly missed my Mom it was just a shame my Dad couldn't come too, the only thing i didn't look forward to was her questions and disappointed looks, i frowned just thinking about it.
"I cant believe you're mom is here", Kasey spoke behind me from the sofa as she rummaged through Ronnie's CD collections.
"I know me either, but after she heard about Lil'Radke, well she insisted", Lil'Radke made there presence known again by the turn of my stomach, i hated the sickness but it was just a reminded that they where there, i smiled reaching my hand down to my tummy.
"The baby still giving you a tough time?", Kasey shuffled away from Ronnie CD collection to peer out the window beside me.
I nodded smiling faintly "Yes as always".
"Hey listen Lil'Radke ease up on you're momma", Kasey scolded jokingly.
I burst out laughing at her "I don't think Lil'Radke even understands Kasey, not yet anyway", i smiled at my best friend, who grinned broadly back at me.
Just then something caught the corner of my eye from outside both me and Kasey turned our heads in un-sen as a Taxi pulled up outside of the house, Holding my breath i watched as my mother in all her glory got out of the car, her brown long hair flowed around her shoulders like a halo just adding to her beauty, everyone says i get my looks from my mom but i could never see the similarity's because to me my mom would always be the prettiest woman alive, she didn't even look her age i seriously hoped at 45 that i would look just like her at that age, even my dad who wasn't there was extremely good looking, to which Kasey had a crush on him to my disgust, My mom and dad were a match made in heaven both beautiful both smart i had always hoped that one day i would find that kind of love and i did here in L.A with a hot rock-star who was my husband and pending father of my child.
I sighed at the sadness that took over me making my way over to the door opening it for my mom, "Mom", my voice came out more higher then i expected.
"Lis", My mom dropped her bags on the steps and took me into a huge bear hug to which i took full advantage of, "Oh honey, I'm so glad to see you", my moms voice cracked.
"Hey Mrs. Danvers", Kasey voice drifted close from behind me.
"Kasey love, nice to see you too", My mom eased her arms around me holding back back to stare into my face, her expression becoming stern, "How are you keeping honey?".
I smiled as my mom petting the back of my hair "So, so mom", i wasn't going to lie my mom new everything about Ronnie and about Lil'Radke, "Come in first", i reached around her to pick up her bags when she stopped me.
"No, no, Liisa no heavy lifting", My mom looked at me with a you should know this expression.
"Oh", I gave her a weak shrug stepping back as she haled her luggage into the sitting room closing the door behind her, i continued to watch as she glanced all around the house before meeting my eyes again.
My moms lips set into a firm line "Liisa Christine Danvers, you are going to tell me everything right now", she done that hands on the hips gesture moms always do.
My eyes meet Kasey's from across the room, i sighed looking back at my mom, "Liisa Radke", i whispered.
My mom frowned "Liisa i want to know everything".
With a sigh i told my mom everything, i told her about why i flew over to L.A to meet Ronnie Radke and how it all started i left out our relationship details and jumped into how and when we got married my mom frowned deepened at every word, i even told her how my medication knocked out my pill making me fall pregnant with Lil'Radke, i had even mentioned how Ronnie reacted.
My mom frown turned into wide eyes "He wanted you to get rid of the baby?", she whispered.
I Nodded pulling my feet underneath me on the sofa "He said we werent ready".
"It takes too to tango", My mom said indicating i didn't just make the baby by myself, its Ronnie's fault just as much.
I bit down on my lip as the night Lil'Radke was conceived ran through my mind, and suddenly i longed for Ronnie's lips and hands all over me, i sighed slouching back into the seat, "He knows that", i breathed.
"Lis, you always have to rush everything in you're life, it worries me i want the best for you, you do know raising a baby is hard, it takes alot of work", My mom face sombered lightly as she reached forward taking my hand in hers.
"I know but mom, i want him/her, I love them", the words just flowed out of my mouth, i really did the second i seen Lil'Radke i fell head over heels for my baby.
Mom smiled as her eyes and mind drifted off to a distant memory before looking at me, "I can understand", she lifted her hand up brushing my hair back off my face, "When they told me it was either me or you, i chose you", Mom breathed, even though she could have died my mom wanted me from the start.
"That's how i feel for Lil'Radke", her touch made me well up inside and feel so much love, ever since i was little my mom had protected me as much as possible and still even at 21 she was just as protective.
Mom frowned at me before shaking her head, just thinking about if the same thing happened to me like it did her terrified her, "Liisa", my mom began but i cut her off.
"Mom i am healthy my doctor says the baby is fine, we are both fine", I had told him about my mothers situation when she was pregnant with me but Doc. Fisher said everything was normal and i wasn't the same person as my mom.
My mom closed her eyes taking a deep breath, "I wish you weren't living in another state, me and your father miss you Liisa and not just that we have a grandchild on the way".
The look from her eyes made me reach towards her "Mom i hate it too but this is my home now, its Lil'Radkes home", I realised that Kasey had been quite this whole time i looked in her direction she rewarded me with a soft smile letting me know she was quiet but still in the here and now with me.
"Ireland is you're home honey, you can come back with me, me and your father can help you raise our grandchild and you can go to college", My moms words came out determined and hopeful.
I turned looking at her shocked for a second realising what she was asking of me, to leave L.A and go back home?, "Mom i cant leave my child's father lives here, remember my husband", i lifted my hand up showing her my wedding ring, i sighed at its beauty.
"He isn't even here with you honey, your father agrees that maybe you should come back home", Mom frowned at my wedding ring before looking away towards Kasey, Kasey said nothing but the shock in her eyes was clear.
I couldn't just do that as much as i missed home the thought of being in different states away from Ronnie pulled painfully at my heartstrings, our relationship had alot of interference from unwanted bitches but i sill loved him, i would always love Ronnie, "Because i asked him to leave, not because he wanted to leave".
Mom sighed out loud shaking her head, "If he loved you he would be here honey, you deserve better treatment then that".
Kasey spoke for the first time since my chat with my mother, "Ronnie loves Liisa, Mrs. Danvers ye he maybe abit of a ass but he does defiantly love Liisa alot".
Mom looked at Kasey for along time i wasn't sure what she was thinking but she seemed like she was in a deep thought, mom looked back at me squeezing my hand, "As we have always said over the years, if you ever ever need us are door is always open, if you ever want to come back home with the baby".
I smiled grateful of the feeling of my mothers words knowing that there was always a place to fall back on that i wouldn't be homeless or alone, i leaned forward wrapping my arms around my moms neck hugging her tightly, "I know mom and if i ever do need to come home, Ireland will be the first place i will go". She patted my back gently and kissed the side of my head i leaned back looking at my mom with teary eyes.
"So let me see the scan of my grandchild then", As much as my mom thought i was ruining my life she looked abit excited.
Getting up off the couch i walked over to my bag and pulled out the scan of Lil'Radke handing the envelope to my mother, i watched as she pulled the scan out and her eyes light up with love, love for her Grandchild.
"Oh Lis", Mom breathed.
I smiled sitting back down beside my mom, Kasey scooted over on the seat joining in on the awing of Lil'Radke i felt joy and happiness about my baby and the support i had behind me, no matter how shitty i was for not telling them sooner the people who loved me where always there right behind me, it made me feel less alone in the world, maybe it would be OK to raise Lil'Radke by myself it would be hard but i was strong enough to deal with it, without My Hot rock-star husband Ronnie Radke...
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"Fuck", Ronnie drove back from Lexus's he made that long drive for nothing, apparently Lexus and her husband Nicolas had gone off to another city to record a demo they have been working on with there new band 'Blacklisted me', i should have fucking rang first Ronnie thought frowning to himself, he hadn't thought about it at the time he just assumed Lexus would help him now, but she promised that she would as soon as she got home and when that was Ronnie didn't fucking know, the wait was killing Ronnie sleeping in Ryan's guest bed wasn't the same as waking up with his wife every morning warm and happy but that was his fault, Ronnie pulled back onto the familiar street that lead back to Ryan's, while wondering what Liisa was doing right now and who was with her, his fingers gripped tightly around the steering wheel as he imagined another guy leering after his wife while he wasn't there.
"Maybe i should go see if she is alone", Ronnie said softly to himself in his empty jeep, without thinking Ronnie turned of Ryan's road and headed in the direction of the home he shared with Liisa, if Lexus wasn't here to help him Ronnie was going to have to do it himself, "I have to prove myself", he nodded to himself, but if she listens or not Ronnie didn't know, but he had to try...