[DISCLAIMER: There are no official lyrics anywhere that I could find for "Nahimmastay (Namaste)" by Justin Park. These lyrics are transcribed by me, so they may contain inaccuracies. This is just what I heard or tried my best to make out. I'm sorry for any inaccuracies.
Also, this song contains explicit language. If you are not allowed to listen to explicit music, I suggest you don't play this song. Otherwise, enjoy!]
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Every time we meet on the dash posh and empty
I see the bottom of the bottle of these prescriptions
Never don't leaving hell she's right next to me
Gripping on my arm yeah yeah she feeling take it home
Now my kindness took it for granted
Fuck with me with your tactics
Goddamn it looked like you planned it
"Unfortunately, Son Dongmyeong has been eliminated from the Unit." The MC announces.
The crowd lets out groans of "aw" and "no". Junyoung frowns, so badly he wants to wrap his arms around Dongmyeong and refuse to let him go. He'd fight the judges if he could.
Dongmyeong quietly nods, trying to hide his sadness for his fans. After the show, he goes to his team, and says his goodbyes. He'd have to return to the dorms and pack up to leave as soon as he could, before security starts to get suspicious. Unfortunately, his team can't join him back at the dorm, as they have to receive their assignments for next week's episode. So, Dongmyeong heads back to the dorm alone.
He starts picking up his clothes and folding them to put back into his suitcase. Unlike his teammates, who's clothes are strewn messily on the floor, Dongmyeong's very organized. He keeps all of his stuff near his bed in a neat stack.
He hears the door open and simply states, "I'm packing up now, no need to kick me out."
"You think I'm here to kick my boyfriend out?"
Dongmyeong quickly recognizes the voice and whips around, "Jun?"
"Hey," Junyoung walks behind Dogyeong and wraps his arms around his shoulders, "you good?"
Dongmyeong reaches up to hold Junyoung's arm, "Yeah, I guess. I saw it coming."
"What? You were so good, Myeongie, you should've won."
Dongmyeong chuckles, "Guess I can't now. You better win for me!"
Junyoung places a kiss on Dongmyeong's cheek, "I promise. What are you gonna do now?"
"Head back to the MAS dorm. They'll be happy to see me."
"That's nice, say 'hi' to them for me."
"I will." They stand in silence for a while, trying to avoid the inevitable: Dongmyeong will have to leave at some point.
Junyoung is the one to break the silence, "I'll call you every week, ok? And you better be watching."
Dongmyeong smiles to himself, "I will."
I thought that it was you who told me come right over
Can't make up your mind and now we start right over
From the top
Dongmyeong sits on the couch of the MAS dorm. At first, the members were confused why Dongmyeong was so adamant about watching the show he got kicked off of, but they let him have the TV when he told them about Junyoung.
"In first place for this week's rankings is... Jun from U-KISS!" The crowd cheers and so does Dongmyeong.
The camera pans to Junyoung who humbly waves at all of his fans. For a moment, he pauses, looks straight into the camera, and shoots a finger heart. It's no ordinary finger heart, though, as his pointer and middle finger are crossed. It's a special heart Junyoung made for Dongmyeong. Dongmyeong repeats the action back at the screen. Finally, the MC closes the show and all the contestants wave goodbye to the crowd. It was the last interaction for the fans that week... well for every fan but Dongmyeong. Just a few minutes later, his phone rings with a call from Junyoung.
"Hey, Myeongie, did you watch the show?"
"Yes, you were amazing! I really think you could win."
"We'll see. So how are things there? Have you settled back in?"
"It's like I never left. Giwook made a mess of our room, as usual, and Harin-hyung is still pissed that Yonghoon-hyung broke his drums. He's coping though, the company has already ordered him another set. What about you?"
"That's great. I'm doing well, we just got our new team assignments. I'm with Hansol again, which is fun."
"Oh, Hansol-hyung, he's good too. You both have a great shot at winning."
"Well I have something he doesn't."
"What?"
"You."
Dongmyeong blushes, "O-Oh..."
There's a few muffled voices in the back before Junyoung calls back an 'ok', "Hey, I've got to go now. I have to move dorms for the new teams. I'll call you next week, alright? Just wait until then."
"And I'll be rooting for you, too."
My mistakes (goddamn)
Made me who (I am)
Namaste, namaste, namaste right here
Same mistakes (again)
Proof of growth (oh man)
Namaste, namaste, namaste right here
Cause how can I stay mad at you?
All I wanted was to work this through
Let the fire in my heart burn for you, burn for you
"We're taking all phones away."
"What?!" The contestants retaliate. Junyoung may have said it a little too loudly, but his voice is covered by the others.
"We caught some contestants using their phones to sell private footage of other contestants to fans. They've since been removed from our show, but we're taking every precaution for our contestants' safety. So, we will need everyone to hand over their cell phones now. We will return them to you when you leave either through elimination or at the finale." A man walks through the room with a basket to collect all of the phones in.
Junyoung wants to, no, needs to tell Dongmyeong, but there's no way to. The man takes his phone before he can even think about texting Dongmyeong.
How will he call him now?
Yo I swear that there's another way to do this
No more fighting, nor more fussing with you daily
Cause I'm tired of the subliminal messages
So can you show me that you wait fresh out of loving
For us maybe, yeah, nah nah, ain't giving in
To the voices in my head tell me something 'bout you
Dancing in the night holding onto me now
"He hasn't called in the last two weeks." Dongmyeong sits with his phone in his hand. The phone app is opened with Junyoung's number ready to dial, but Dongmyeong hesitates to click it.
"Maybe he's busy?" Giwook responds.
Dongmyeong shakes his head, "He can't be. We always got Sundays off. Plus, he promised to call me each week."
"Well, try calling him, it's Sunday after all."
Dongmyeong presses the "call" button and holds his cell phone up to his ear. The phone rings for a moment, before Junyoung's voicemail plays. "He didn't pick up..." he says saddened.
"I'm sorry, Dongmyeong-ah."
Dongmyeong sniffles, "He didn't pick up, but he promised he'd call me. I don't understand..."
Giwook shifts closer to pull Dongmyeong's head to his shoulder. He gently massages Dongmyeong's scalp and whispers, "I'm sorry."
I thought that it was you who told me come right over
Can't make up your mind and now we start right over
From the top
"Congratulations to our winner, Jun! He has ranked number one and will be the final member to join UNB! Any words for your fans?"
The camera pans to Junyoung, "Thank you so much for supporting me throughout the whole show. I feel as though I'm stronger knowing you're cheering me on. I love you," he blows a kiss to his fans who swoon in response. He also shoots the special finger heart to the camera, but sadly, he doesn't know that Dongmyeong isn't watching.
Junyoung packs up as quickly as humanly possible so that he can go to security to retrieve his phone. It'd been a month since Junyoung had last called Dongmyeong and he's excited to finally hear his voice again. He talks to the lady at the desk, who congratulates him and hands his phone over. "Thank you, ma'am."
He dials Dongmyeong's number eagerly and awaits an answer. He's expecting a cheer, maybe even a few tears, as Dongmyeong congratulates him. What he doesn't expect is for the line to go dead. He tries again, but the same blank beep greets his call.
"Why won't you answer, Dongmyeong?" He mentally asks himself.
He notices a string of missed calls from Dongmyeong from a few weeks prior before they all just stop. Dongmyeong stopped trying to call him? But why?
My mistakes (goddamn)
Made me who (I am)
Namaste, namaste, namaste right here
Same mistakes (again)
Proof of growth (oh man)
Namaste, namaste, namaste right here
Cause how can I stay mad at you?
All I wanted was to work this through
Let the fire in my heart burn for you, burn for you
Junyoung takes the train to the RBW building the next day. He hopes that he's simply overcomplicating what happened. Dongmyeong probably just got a new phone, that happens a lot with idols when fans hack them. Yeah, he just got a new phone.
He walks into the office and pulls his face mask down, "I'm here to visit Son Dongmyeong."
The woman at the front desk recognizes Junyoung easily and nods. She fills out a visitor's pass for him, "He should be in the studio. It's called 'Studio We' now, just so you know."
Junyoung thanks her and quickly walks down the hall. He skims over the nameplates next to the doors before he reaches one labeled "Studio We". He knocks on the door and waits patiently.
Harin answers the door and his expression seems to fall when he sees who's there, "What are you doing here?"
"Why is he so mad at me?" He wonders. "I'm here to see Dongmyeong."
Harin leans against the door frame with his arms crossed, "Oh, now you want to contact him?"
"What do you mean?"
"Sure, play dumb. I'll tell you where he is just this once cause I'm nice, but you better not come back here thinking I'll tell you again. He's in Dance Room C, at the end of the hall."
"Thanks." Junyoung leaves, quite frankly very confused, but shakes off Harin's glare in favor of his bubbling excitement to see Dongmyeong again. He all but runs to the last room in the hall: Dance Room C. Without even thinking, he swings open the door, "Dong–"
The sight he sees next shocks him entirely. It's Dongmyeong pressed up against the wall with who Junyoung can only recognize as Giwook kissing his neck rather indecently.
"–Myeongie...?"
Only thing right now that I can do to change your mind
Coming up with proofs to show you we alright
Do you believe that you're the reason that I'm breathing?
Dongmyeong shoves Giwook off of him quickly and exclaims in shock, "Jun?!"
Giwook spins around and stands in front of Dongmyeong in a protective way and spits out, "What the fuck are you doing here?"
"I came to see Dongmyeong, but..." he turns towards Dongmyeong who adverts his eyes to Giwook's back, "What are you doing? Why was Giwook kissing you like that, huh?" Junyoung bites back the need to cry, or scream.
Giwook responds instead, "Well, his lousy so-called 'boyfriend' stopped calling him and he found someone who'd actually talk to him everyday."
"But I–"
"Can it, mister. You're lucky I haven't called security to throw you out."
"Giwook," Dongmyeong's shy voice filters out from behind Giwook's back, "let me talk to him, please?" Giwook growls but steps aside to let Dongmyeong stand before Junyoung. "Why didn't you call me?" Dongmyeong's voice starts to falter as if he's fighting the urge to cry.
"They took away our phones, some sort of privacy scandal occurred." Junyoung takes a step closer, "But that doesn't explain why you're with him." Junyoung accidentally raises his voice.
Dongmyeong winces and the tears finally overflow, "Because you didn't call me! I stayed up every night waiting for your number to appear on my screen but it never did! I cried every night thinking you had forgotten about me! That this was some sort of temporary fling!"
"But I told you, they took our phones away–"
"Then why didn't you tell me? You could've texted me before and told me! You could've even used a landline! So why didn't you say anything?"
"I wasn't thinking, I'm sorry. I should have told you." He takes a step closer, "Can you forgive me?" Another step.
Dongmyeong puts his hand out to stop Junyoung from getting any closer. "I don't think I can." He sniffles, "I thought we really had something, you know? But seeing how you didn't even try to contact me tells me this wasn't as important to you. You hurt me so much, and when I needed you the most when I was crying in the dark all alone, you weren't the voice telling me it'll be alright. It was Giwook. I think he's what's best for me."
Junyoung drops his head, "Oh..."
Giwook speaks up again, "Please leave, if you don't want to hurt Dongmyeong anymore."
"I– ok." Junyoung turns around and makes his way out the door. Before he closes it, he catches a glimpse of Dongmyeong crying into Giwook's shoulder and Giwook placing gentle kisses on the top of Dongmyeong's head.
Junyoung leaves without another word. He doesn't even bother saying "goodbye" or "thanks" to the receptionist. He knows that it was his fault, he knows that he should move on, but he just can't.
And long after ONEWE's debut, Junyoung's heart still aches every time he sees Dongmyeong on-screen.
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[A/N: It's finally over! My second oneshot in this book. This one's a lot more angsty than my other one, sorry. Personally, I don't think it fits Namaste that well, but it's what gave me inspiration. I actually complete forgot like we used to existed when I wrote this, so that probably would've been a better fit. I've already written this, though, so oh well. Maybe a sequel with like we used to? We'll see... ;)
Lee Junyoung is a member of U-KISS and a contestant (and winner) on the Unit. He's been shipped with Dongmyeong, who was also on the show, and is one of my fav ships cause they're so cute together.
How was it? Did you like the song?]