I watched my feet dangle over the 150 foot drop. I was munching on the frosted animal crackers that I bought at the convenient store on the way to school.
Kenny was watching the kids enter the school doors from under our feet. They didn't notice us sitting in top of the building. Well, some of them did, but we didn't really care.
"The sunrise looks nice from up here..." I said.
"Sure does." He said, kicking his feet.
"So. Just to be sure. The bombs are done. I'm meeting up with the girls tomorrow I guess after I talk to them again. I'll tell them about the bombs and we'll set up a few teams. A team will keep watch in the south of town, B will stay in the middle of town, and C team will stay by my place. We'll have a signal for each team, if Man-bear-pig attacks in the north we'll set off the signal, and the other teams will-"
"We'll all gather up and set off the bombs, got it." He said.
"Alright but here's my main concern..." I told him, "What if this isn't enough? We really needed the boy's plan on our side too. That extra power with the government weapons was what made our work complete and beautiful!" I said.
"Well... Then we'll figure out a way to get them to listen. I'll talk to them." He said, holding out his hand. I smiled and took it. I almost couldn't risist.
"You know... that shower works great by the way." I smirked.
"Oh... really?" He said.
"Yeah. I mean, it's cold as hell... and it's a long walk to turn it on and off... But it works swell." I shrugged.
"Uh... You know you can still shower at my house." Kenny insisted.
"Yeah. I guess that's true." I said.
"Well... thanks for the appreciation, anyway." He said.
"Hehe, yeah..." I smiled down at the walking kids again. Then I saw Stan, Kyle, Clyde, and Token staring up at us.
"Oh." I said, looking at Kenny "Hey, maybe they're just looking at a bird?"
"KENNY! KENNY!!" Stan started yelling from the ground, waving his arms at him. We both looked down at them.
"Guess it was my coat that gave us away." Kenny shrugged.
"KENNY!! GET YOUR BROKE ASS DOWN HERE, WE NEED TO TALK TO YOU!!" Kyle yelled at him. I sighed.
"Well, Ken. Your call." I gestured to the teen in the green hat. He just looked at me for a moment.
"KENNY!!"
"HEY KENNY!!" All of the began to shout. Kenny just lifted his hand and waved at them, as if they were telling him good morning. I was genuinely shocked. Stan was irritated, and pushed Kyle as a response to Kenny brushing them off.
"Wow... your really just gonna... stick around?" I smiled at him.
"Yeah." He said.
"My my... what would my boyfriend Butters say?" I questioned.
"He can go jack himself off in the ladies bathroom." Kenny said, making me snort and crack up. Finally Kyle and the gang stormed into the school.
Kyle's POV
I caught them on the stairway to the second floor.
"There you are!" I yelled at him as he tried to oh-so sneakily pass by. She stopped at his side to see what I had to tell him.
"What are you doing, dude!?! I thought you were on our side!!" I exclaimed.
"Sorry dude, I know we're tight and all, but I think I'm sticking with the lady this time around." Kenny gestured to her. She gave me a nod, eating a handful of animal crackers.
"Kenny... come on dude. It's us! Your best friends. You can't say we mean less to you than- her!!" I gestured to her. He looked back at her and her stuffed cheeks that had little sprinkles stuck to them. She gave him a small wave, and he had a dazed look cross over him as he giggled.
"Kenny!!" I exclaimed.
"Kyle..." Kenny sighed as he looked at me, "Fuck you." He turned away and started to walk with her again. I couldn't believe my eyes.
"Well... It was worth a shot." Stan said. I started storming off to our lockers.
I couldn't believe our best friend was falling for that no-good, trouble making, out-of-town, traitor! It wasn't fair. It was almost like brain-wash!
"Brain-wash!! It's like brain-wash, right??" I said, turning to my friends again.
"Kyle what the hell are you talking about?" Stan questioned.
"She's like a succubus! A siren? You know, those girls that trick boys into being with them just because they're pretty or something!!" I said.
"Dude, I don't know." Stan said.
"Come on! We have to think of a way to get Kenny back, it's the only way we're going to stop man-bear-pig in time!" I said.
"Calm down, man. This is hard enough as it is." Token told me.
"Yeah, and isn't the proficy only talking about the Pringles, not some demon girl?" Stan asked.
"I beg to differ." Cartman butted in from the shadows.
"What the-" I turned to glare at him.
"Just hear me out, Kahl... I figured it out. Y/n is Man-bear-pig. She was sent here in this form to seek her prey, Kenny, and I was meant to find her Pringles and destroy her." He said.
"What??" I questioned.
"Think about it, Kahl... all of the manipulation. All of the lies, and tricks, and hiding around! She's Man-bear-pig, Kahl, and she's going to show her true form on Valentine's Day!!" He said.
"Wait but... how is that possible...?" I stared down at my hands in shock.
"Wait... is that... true?" Clyde asked.
"Yes. For some reason she wants me to find the summoner. Maybe it's so I can kill them, or maybe it's to keep me distracted from the real threat. But little does she know, I'm not afraid of her. And I'm certainly not afraid to get rid of her now." He preached.
"Holy fucking shit balls, dude!" I said, "Cartman, this can't be, serious!"
"Oh, I'm seriousleh... I tried to shoot her once... But her keen senses must've lead her to dodge my attack, and then she decided to stay inside for cover. But from what I speculated... she has indeed brain-washed Kenny into helping her build bombs to destroy the town." Cartman said.
"Cartman. What proof do you have??" Stan asked him.
"Well. She probably hasn't told you this, but she does have the Pringles." He said.
"Wait, wait, no she doesn't." Token said.
"Yeah, Kenny said that was all a trick to get you and Token and Craig to listen to her." I pointed at him.
"Of course. That a what I thought too, Kahl. How could I not think that? But you have you forgotten? Kenny is brain-washed. I've been working with Timmy, who has been spying on all of you for days. He has all the reason to believe that she and Kenny have made a pact to hide the Pringles together." He said, causing all of us to gasp.
"Timmy's getting closer and closer to finding the hiding place. But he knows it has to be somewhere near the train tracks." Cartman finished. I looked at Stan.
"So... does that really settle it? Is our friend Kenny really trying to score with a blood-thirsty demon?" Token asked.
"No... no, we have to talk to him!" I said.
"It's no use. She has him under a powerful curse. To break it, we'd have to give him a reason not to be attracted to her. And... You know Kenny. What is he not attracted to?" Cartman said.
"Well- maybe the fact that she's Man-bear-pig!!" I said.
"Sure, maybe. But she already has Butters following her around too, which only means he'll stop following her when he's dead. You know how desperate he can get." Cartman said.
"Jesus... who else do you think she's capable of cursing?" I looked around at everyone.
"I'm not sure. But she almost got me too... and all of you. Which is why we need to start an alliance to kill her." Cartman proclaimed.
"Kill her...?" I asked.
"Yes, Kahl. We have to destroy her if we don't want her to show her true form." Cartman said.
"Yeah. But wait... what if as we're trying to kill her, she shows her true form then?" Token said.
"No, she's only showing it on Valentine's day!" Cartman said.
"Okay, but what if while we're trying to kill her, she senses us trying to kill her, and kills us before we can kill her?" Clyde asked, squinting his eyes all thoughtful and stuff..
"I'll answer questions later. Right now, we need to get ready to assassinate her." Cartman said in a low voice.
"Oh jeez, Dude... Kenny's gonna be pissed." Stan said.
First Person
"Wendy!! Wendyy!!" I called from the halls as she turned to go into class.
"Oh... it's you..." She said when she saw me.
"Hey. Sorry about the little quarrel at the pond. I was just curious if you still wanted to meet up at your place. Without the boys." I said.
"Oh... really?" She blinked at me.
"Yeah. They can be difficult to work with... But they could still be valuable to our plan. Kenny and I will tell you guys all about it." I said.
"Wait. You said there'd be no boys." She narrowed her eyes.
"Oh. Well... no boys except for Kenny. Kenny doesn't really count as a boy, right? I mean, I was already planning on making Butters stay home." I smiled nervously.
"No way. If you're still working with those fudge-packers, then no deal!" Wendy was about to turn around.
"Wait!! Okay, fine... I'll talk to him..." I said, making her look at me again.
"He'll be pissed, but he'll understand. See we're kinda like partners..." I said.
"Partners?" She asked.
"Yeah, like business partners. He was... kind of the only one who wanted to stay by my side after Kyle told me to basically fuck off. So we work together. And I guess I'm supposed to be dating Butters or something." I shrugged.
"Partners... I see how it is." She started to smile at me again.
"Yeah. So I'll tell him that I can work it out on my own and fill him in on everything." I said.
"Sure. And I'll talk to the girls again." She said. We shook hands as the bell rang, and we quickly walked into class together. I took my spot, and after maybe two or three minutes, Kenny finally showed up and sat behind me again. Thank god. I didn't know if I could handle another second of Stan and Kyle's death glares.
"What took you so long?" I turned around to ask him.
"Well usually I fuck around in the halls or go jerk off for a while in the bathroom, but today my locker was just stuck." He shrugged, making me giggle.
"Okay so Wendy agreed to work with us. But she only wants me to go to her house, since you and Butters are dudes." I whispered as the teacher started talking.
"Aw, what?" He looked pissed, as I predicted.
"Yeah, I know right?" I said, "But she knows we're partners, so it shouldn't be that big of a deal. Maybe I'll talk her into letting you be more apart of things in the future."
"MISS Y/N L/N!" The teacher yelled, probably for about the third or fourth time, if my calculations were right.
"Bro! You can see me! I'm here! Just mark me present and get on with your life." I told her.
"Hmf!" She said, marking me down on the attendance.
"Yeah. That works." Kenny finally shrugged.
"By the way... think maybe you can help me out? I'm trying not to be bothered, but they just look so pissed off at me..." I said, eyeing Stan, Kyle, and Cartman who all looked like they were plotting to destroy me at lunch... Which probably wasn't very far fetched. Kenny squinted at them.
"Cartman was talking to them just before class." He said.
If Cartman really managed to make them believe that I'm Man-bear-pig... the two of us had a lot of trouble on our hands.
"Uh... what should we do about this?" I looked at him.
"If only we had a spy." Kenny told me. I sighed, slumping my head onto my hand as I supported myself on the back of my chair. We just looked at each other in thought before I noticed Wendy was whispering over Bebe's shoulder, gazing at the two of us. They both smiled as Wendy did the finger quotes, and then they both laughed.
I raised a brow at them with a small smile, as if playfully asking what they were talking about. Bebe mouthed the words Wendy's house today. Four o'clock.
I gave her a thumbs up. The boys obviously noticed this strange behavior, especially when Kenny leaned back and let me communicate with them in our own language, as if he had nothing to do with it.
I also noticed Butters waving at me from the front of class, and I waved back. So far the day was pretty good, for what it was worth... Even the lunchroom was pretty chill. Kenny and I of course sat away from everyone, but at least he actually wanted to be around me. And even then, Wendy and a few of her friends came to sit with us too, which was great for pre-evaluating our plans, and telling her about the bombs.
Plus, Wendy was nice. She's definatley the type of girl I'd like to talk to outside of business hours. She was mature, but totally cool, so she came off a funny and respectable. A trait I so wish I had. Respectability.
Bebe was funny too, but in a trashy way. She was actually a nice girl despite being sort of a drama queen. She loved talking about boys, and is probably one of the only girls in the school who's had any serious relationships since the Great Break-Up, as they call it. But she had a stingy, bitchy side to her that, although I found it charmimg, could easily become super annoying one of these days.
Heidi was also one to make an occasional snooty remark, but other than that she acted pretty well-reformed from when she was dating Cartman. I could only imagine what she was like around that fat ass, but at least she wasn't too obnoxious, the way she acted now.
There were other girls there, Nelly, Annie, and Red. They weren't too dull from what I've seen of them, but they could use a little more character. I told red that she had nice hair, which made her like me I think.
Now when it was around four o'clock, Kenny seemed more upset than before.
"Kenny, come on. It's just going to be a few hours, I'll probably be out of there by six!" I giggled as he continued to whine.
"What if it takes you longer?" He asked me.
"Then it'll take me longer. That doesn't mean I'll never see you again." I said.
"Yeah, well- I still don't think it's fair. Can't you talk to them one more time? They talked to me at lunch, isn't it enough proof that I'm at least decent?" He said.
"Don't worry Kenny. This is purely about trust right now. Once they know they can hang around me without getting double crossed, I'm sure they'll be fine with you coming around and flirting with them all day." I said.
"Flirting with them all day...?" He asked, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk.
"Sure. That's why you want to come with me so bad, isn't it?" I gave him a playful smile.
"No, not really. I mean if anything, I'll be flirting with you all day, but-" He paused slightly when he heard me start to giggle. I gave him a look, and happily continued on. He laughed back, putting a hand on my shoulder. It wasn't too long before Butters came around to separate us again. Kenny looked just as annoyed with him as ever.
"So Y/n. Will I be able to come with you to the girls meeting?" Butters asked.
"No, Butters. I just went through this with Kenny." I said.
"Awe hamburgers." He said, kicking some random rock, "Well what if I go as Marjorine again?"
"Yeah. And I can be Princess Kenny." Kenny suggested.
"Uhh, that sounds very interesting." I said.
"Shut up, Kenny, you ain't goin!!" Butters yelled at him.
"Hey, fuck you." Kenny said.
"Alright, boys. This is my stop. I don't know what you traps are talking about, but I'm out of here." I turned around and knocked on the door.
"Alright. Hey, by the way, Karen wants to know if she can stay over again." Kenny mentioned.
"Sure. You can join her again, if you want." I smirked.
"Wait... what?" Butter's looked between the two of us. Wendy answered the door.
"Oh, great, you're here!" She smiled at me.
"Yeah, sorry I'm late. These boys have been dragging me behind schedule. It's super annoying." I smiled playfully at her.
"Oh... right. And why are they here?" She questioned me with annoyance.
"They followed me. Don't worry, they were just leaving. See ya, boys." I waved at them. Kenny sighed.
"Bye Y/n." He said.
"Bye Y/n!! I love you!!" Butters waved me down as I shuttered. I quicjly closed the door before i could respond. She had a pretty nice house. She lead me upstairs and we stopped in her room, where a bunch of other girls from school huddled around, chattering up.
"Y/n's here!" Wendy said, making everyone look at me. The nerves were kicking in. I waved at them all with a small smile.
"Wow, you're even more tacky up close." Some girl said.
"Uh... thanks. You look just as entitled as I anticipated." I smiled at her, making her glare at me.
"Alright girls, that's enough." Wendy said.
"So, you're not working with the boys anymore, huh? Then why are you still working with us?" Nelly asked me.
"Because Man-bear-pig is still a huge problem! Well actually, he's not my problem because I'm not from this stink town, but it matters to Kenny, so I guess I'm doing it for him?" I shrugged.
"So you're teaming up with all of the girls to help one boy?" Bebe seemed shocked.
"Yeah, basically. I mean, if I bail and the town gets destroyed, Kenny's gonna go down with it, you know?" I said. They all stared at each other with wonder.
"It's been a long time since any of us have made sacrifices like that for boys..." Wendy said.
"Well... Maybe you should change that. The boys really miss you guys. You should've seen how excited they were when I told them we'd get you guys to celebrate Valentine's Day." I smiled.
"Wow..." Red said.
"Wendy, maybe she's right..." Nichole began, "You should've seen Token's face after I called him those names... I almost wanted to cry I felt so bad. We've done nothing but hurt them for so long. They just want us to love them for who they are."
"Yeah. Seriously. Besides, you kind of broke up with them for an unfair reason. I know the boys are hurting." I said.
"Oh god... how can we possibly fix this?" Wendy asked.
"We'll get to that. I promise. But for now, there's something important I need to get out of the way." I said, catching their full attention.
"I made a small mistake... See Cartman's been trying to find the Pringles. So have we. We've also been trying to stop Man-bear-pig, just as he recently has. But now... He thinks I'm man-bear-pig, because of how I treated him, and how I tricked him into searching for the summoner." I said.
"Uh oh..." Heidi said.
"Now he has Stan and Kyle on his side, and I'm pretty sure they're trying to kill me." I said.
"Really?" Wendy asked.
"Really." I told her.
"Oh god! What are you going to do?" Bebe asked me.
"Well. Kenny mentioned we should get a spy. But I couldn't think of anyone who'd want to be one. Then I thought of you guys. And I realized how desperate the guys actually were, and I thought maybe one of you could somehow weasel into the group by dating one of them again!" I smiled.
"That's... actually a good plan." Wendy said.
"But wouldn't the boys get suspicious if they already know you've been hanging out with us?" Bebe said.
"Right. Which is why I elaborated my plan. And I think I know who could be the perfect candidate." I said, "first of all, it can't be Wendy, Nichole or Bebe. You'd be too obvious. You other girls have never really talked to those boys... except for Heidi." I said.
"What? Me??" Heidi stared at me in shock.
"Yeah. You were with Cartman, right?" I asked.
"Oh HELL NO!! I am not getting back together with that fat asshole!" She screamed.
"No Heidi, you're not. You're going to get with... Kyle." I said.
"Kyle??" They all questioned.
"Yeah. Cartman is way too focused on me to get together with anyone. But Kyle... Kyle has been desperate for love for forever, and trust me I can tell. He's so sensitive." I giggled.
"Well... actually..." Heidi started to blush, making me smile, "I don't think that's such a bad idea."
"I know, right? We'll have to make up a scene, so they think you don't have any part with me." I said.
"Oh, okay." She smiled.
"We could pretend to bully her in the lunch room!" Bebe said.
"Yeah, we could have Y/n push you down and yell and stuff." Wendy said.
"Yeah." Everyone said. We went on planning. Actually, I was starting to have a really good time. The girls actually grew quite fond of my boyish toilet humor. Before I knew it, hours had passed, but our plan was really really coming together. We made sure not a single detail was left out, and we had fun doing it. The best part was, it wasn't all just business work like I expected. The girls actually had a lot of fun joking around, even though it was super serious.
"So... lemme get this straight." Bebe began, "You're not actually.... dating Butters?"
"Uhh.. Yeah, apparently. I guess I am." I shrugged, eating from some random bag of chips on the ground
"Eeeewww!!" All of them said, which honestly made me laugh.
"Why??" Red questioned me.
"Well the plan was to get him away from Cartman... I don't know. He's just a nice kid." I said.
"But like... Do you really like him?" Annie asked me. This question made me kind of confused.
"Uhm... I mean yeah...? He's annoying, sure, but it's not like I hate him." I shrugged
"No. Do you like like him?" Annie asked.
"Like like him?" I asked. That was one of those unfamiliar terms I heard kids talking about at my old school or I movies. But I could never really wrap my head around the concept of... like liking someone. Like a crush? I guess I knew that having a crush meant you wanted to ask a person out. But I've never really had a real crush before.
"You've never like liked anyone?" Wendy said, making everyone practically gasp.
"Uh..." I began, bringing my knees to my chest.
"Why would you date Butters if you don't even like like him?" Nelly asked.
"Did he make you feel pretty? Did you send him... nudes??" Bebe asked, suddenly making everyone whisper.
"What? No, no... I don't even have a phone, man." I said, scratching my head.
"I guess I don't like like him. I'm mostly just with him to make sure he stays out of the way, you know? Keep him in check." I explained. They all nodded in clarification and spoke in agreement.
"So if you don't like Butters... then who do you like?" Wendy asked.
"Oh come on, girls..." I started to laugh in embarrassment, causing them to giggle along with me.
"OH! I'LL GO FIRST!!" Nelly volunteered, "I like Paul Jacobson... He's so cute."
"You guys know I'm still all for Token." Nichole sighed.
"And I'm going to try to get Stan and I on good terms." Wendy said.
"I think I like... Robbie. No... Tommy! Maybe Donnie?" Bebe couldn't seem to decide, "Wait.... I think I like Clyde."
"EEWWWW!!" Everyone exclaimed before we all started to chortle again. For once I was starting to feel like a normal teenage girl.
"I think... I think maybe I'm starting to like Kyle.." Heidi said. Everyone gasped and looked at her.
"Well... that's perfect!" I smiled.
"No... it's not perfect... if I like Kyle and I end up dating him to be a spy, I'm going to feel guilty whenever I have to betray him." She explained.
"Aw, Heidi... it's okay." I smiled.
"Yeah, even if you like him for real, it's not that hard to betray him. I do it all the time." Bebe shrugged.
"No, that's not what I mean," I said, "It's okay if you like him, Heidi. All I ask us that you find out what Cartman's doing to try and kill me by getting close to Kyle, and tell me about it before he can actually go through with it." I said.
"Yeah. Betraying Kyle would be like... deliberately trying to wreck all of his personal plans. We're just trying to get rid of Eric Cartman's stupid plan, because she'll literally die if we don't." Nelly said.
"Huh... yeah, okay then I guess I don't feel bad." She said with a smile.
"So then what about you, Y/n?" Bebe suddenly asked again.
"What about me?" I asked.
"You like Kenny, don't you?" She said, immediately making me red. Thank God he wasn't here... I'd be humiliated.
"Wh- come on- whaaat??" I laughed nervously.
"Oh come on. It's so obvious!" Red said.
"Yeah you totally have the hots for him." Bebe laughed. They all started to chatter again while I wallowed in a bloody-red embarrassment.
"Is it really that obvious?" I brushed my hair behind my ear.
"Yeah!!" Nelly exclaimed.
"Dude, you always talk about him like he's a God or something. He's the only person who stuck with you after the rest of us left. He's the reason you're still trying to stop Man-bear-pig, heck he's even the reason you decided to stay in town!" Wendy said.
"Yeah. And you smile at him a lot when he talks about you... Which he also does A LOT." Annie mentioned.
"And he's always playing with your hair in our classes. I honestly thought you guys were already dating when I first saw you two together." Heidi shrugged.
"And it's kind of funny how you guys constantly flirt with each other and act like it's totally normal." Bebe grinned.
"Huh... I guess it is pretty obvious." I sighed.
"So why don't you just ask him out?" Wendy tilted her head.
"Well, come on. I can't do that to Butters, I'm not an asshole." I said.
"This isn't about how Butters feels. It's about how you feel, Y/n." She told me. I had to stop and really think about that for a moment.
"Yeah, if you really like Kenny way more than Butters, which you do, you can't just pretend that your feelings aren't there! Itlle eat at you, girl!" Wendy insisted. I sighed, and decided to think about it. I really needed Butter's on my side...
But Kenny...
"Ugh... I'm tired of planning. Can we go take a break and watch The End of The Fucking World?" Bebe asked.
"YEAH!!" Everyone cheered.
"Come on Y/n, you'll love this show! It's about this boy who like, wants to be a serial killer, and this girl who has sucky parents, and they meet, and he wants to kill her, but they run away together and the killer boy falls in love with her instead!!" Wendy gave me a brief explanation, all while practically jumping off the walls.
"I can dig that." I smiled as they lead me to the T.V.
When I finally left her house after three, or maybe five amazing episodes, the moon was out, and the stars were in the sky. When I passed Kenny's house, I could hear his parents screaming at each other inside. And When I opened the door to my shed, which was lit up inside, a camera flashed in my face. I blinked as the little mechanism in Kenny's hand buzzed. He pulled out a picture and started to shake it.
"That's a keeper." He stared down with loving eyes at the picture of my blank expression.
"...beautiful..." I heard him mumble, which got me thinking about me and the girl's conversations. I blushed again, and stared at my feet. I looked up and saw Karen up on the loft again.
"It's about time you got here!" She said.
"Yeah. You said you'd be back by six!" Kenny said.
"Hey man... Netflix is one hell of a drug." I shrugged, making him laugh.
"Well, you're here now! Let's play war with Dad's cards, Kenny." Karen pulled out the deck from her back pocket.
"Y/n can't play cards. She doesn't know how." Kenny said.
"Well that's why you teach her, dummy head!" She said.
"....Oh yeah." He said. We all got on the loft to start playing.