After Keeper left, Dean stayed in the forest for a while, walking around thinking of what they had talked about. As much as he despised the asshole, he had to admit that Keeper had made some good points. How could he trust anything that came out of that bastard's mouth though? They could have been Vassago's words, luring him into a trap! But what if he was telling the truth? Could he really take that risk? Could he not?
He stopped walking and ran his hands over his face sighing frustrated, if it was just him involved then he wouldn't have hesitated to take him up on his offer. It wasn't just him though, he has a family now to look out for and their safety was his main concern. Thinking about them suddenly made his choice very clear, Keeper could shove his offer up his ass; he was going down with Vassago and the others! He decided to go home and finish what he started with Josiah; he was going to take his kind down and he was going to do it his way, dammit! He ran home and was about to go back inside when someone called his name stopping him, he closed his eyes and hung his head, his back to them, as he spoke.
"It's late, you should be sleeping." Dean said sighing, as he turned to face them.
"Couldn't sleep knowing you believe we think you're going dark."
"I don't have time for this, Seth!" Dean said frustrated.
"Make time, Ambrose!" Seth stated firmly, as he crossed his arms.
"We're in the middle of a damn war and all you guys want to do is talk about our feelings; feelings don't win wars, Seth! I'm a warrior, dammit, I don't do feelings or emotional crap, so if you'll excuse me I have important shit I need to do!" Dean replied angrily, as he began walking towards the monastery.
"Nope!" Seth said, as he grabbed Dean's arm stopping him again. "You're going to talk to me, no more running away!"
"I think you've said enough already!" Dean said bitterly, as he pulled his arm free and turned to face him. "I heard everything, remember?"
"Dammit, Dean, stop acting like a damn child and let me explain!" Seth said frustrated. "Look, we love you alright, we're a family and families are the ones you can count on to have your back no matter what! Families are also the ones you can count on to kick your ass and call your bullshit when you're acting like a complete asshole!" He added sighing.
"Wow, okay...so, not only do you all think I'm going dark, but you think I'm an asshole too! Wow, dude, great freaking pep talk!" Dean said sarcastically, as he turned to walk away again.
"That...that, right there is what I'm talking about!" Seth said upset, stopping Dean; he kept his back to Seth. "You've changed, Dean, we all know it and so do you!" He added, waiting for some kind of reaction from Dean, but never got one. "I remember the first time I met you, do you remember that? You came in through my apartment window, looking for Roman and you had been seriously injured by a Hunter."
"I remember." Dean said quietly, his back still to Seth.
"Do...do you remember how different you were then? How the love you shared with Roman was what kept you fighting...kept you grounded? Then our family grew; first, you and I became close, then Paige joined us, not long after Rose and Violet joined and finally, Zander joined completing our little, dysfunctional family. No matter what happened though, the love we all share was enough to keep you grounded, it kept you...you." Seth said sadly.
"It still does." Dean replied quietly, as he turned to face him, Seth shook his head.
"Maybe it's not enough anymore?"
"What?" Dean asked confused.
"Maybe our love just isn't enough anymore to keep you from going dark?"
"You're just giving up on me? You're going to toss me away like garbage, because I'm a lost damn cause? Is that what you're saying, brother?" Dean demanded hurt.
"Never!" Seth replied firmly, without hesitation. "All I'm saying, is maybe you need to remember why you started this war in the first place. You've lost your way, Dean and you need to find your way back to us before you lose yourself completely." He added, before he walked away and went back inside.
Dean said nothing, as he watched him walk away, he closed his eyes tight, fighting the tears that threatened to fall. Was what Seth said true? Had he really lost his way? He couldn't deny it to himself any longer, couldn't lie to himself, he knew the truth now! He had stopped fighting for love and freedom a long time ago and it had become about revenge and absolute power...he had slowly, without even realizing it...began going dark! Seth was right, he needed to find his way back again or he'd lose something worse than the war...he'd lose Roman and his family!
Meanwhile, Roman stood looking out the window, watching Dean standing alone outside, lost in his thoughts. He wiped away another silent tear, as he sighed shakily and forced himself to stay where he was. He wanted to go to Dean, take him in his arms and never let go! He wanted to beg him to give up on the fight and run away some place no Vamp would ever find their family. He didn't though, he couldn't be selfish, innocent lives were at stake and he'd never be able to live with himself if he let something happen.
He sighed again, as he went to the couch, sat down and ran his hands over his face as he leaned back. If he didn't figure out some way to end this war soon, there was a very real chance he could lose Dean. He's never loved anyone like this; of course, he loved his family, but this was a different kind of love. They've been through so damn much that was meant to tear them apart, instead, they managed to make it through together, their love only growing stronger! He knew Dean felt like this whole thing was his fault and Roman wished he could make him see that the real person to blame was that bastard Vassago! Having that much guilt was a burden for anyone to bear; especially The Chosen One. Dean felt that the only way to keep them safe was to sacrifice himself, but what he couldn't see though, was that losing him was worse than anything Vassago could ever do to them.
"Roman?" A soft voice spoke from behind him.
"Rose?" Roman said, as he quickly got himself together, not wanting to scare or worry her. "Why are you up, sweetie?"
"I had a bad dream." She said, as she went to him and he sat her on his lap.
"You wanna talk about it?" Roman asked, as she cuddled into him.
"Um...it was about Dean." She answered quietly, playing with his hair.
"What about him?" He asked gently.
"He...he turned into a...monster and hurt all of us."
"That does sound scary, but it won't happen in real life." Roman said trying to reassure her.
"It could!" She insisted, as she sat up and looked at him scared.
"Why would you think that?"
"I...I heard you guys fighting with Dean earlier." She admitted sadly. "He's different, Roman and I'm scared." She added with tears in her eyes.
"Rose, honey, Dean's..."
"Sorry I scared you." Dean's sad voice spoke, cutting Roman off, they both looked at him.
"Dean!" Rose said, as she quickly got off Roman's lap and rushed to him. "Do...do you still love us?" She asked, as her tears fell, he picked her up and hugged her close; needing the hug as much as she did.
"I will always love you, kid, nothing will ever make me stop." Dean answered, as he locked eyes with Roman.
"You were fighting with Roman, Seth, Paige and Zander!" She reminded him sadly, her face buried in his neck.
"Families fight, kid, but that doesn't mean they stop loving each other." Dean explained, as he sat on the couch beside Roman, putting her on his lap.
"Why are you so angry at us, Dean?" She asked quietly, as she began playing with his hands.
"I'm not angry at you guys." Dean answered sighing.
"You aren't?" Roman and Rose asked together shocked.
"Nope." Dean replied sighing again. "I'm angry at myself."
"Why?" Rose asked, as she yawned.
"Alright, kid, time for bed." Dean said smiling, before he kissed her head.
"But I'm not tired; I wanna know why you're mad." She stated, before she yawned again.
"You will...tomorrow. You need to go back to bed now, kid." Dean replied, before he stood up holding her and smiling he began walking to the stairs.
"Night, Ro." She called out sleepily.
"Night, baby girl."
Once they were gone, Roman sighed, it hurt him to hear Dean talk bad about himself. At least having him admit that was a sign that he was ready to talk to them finally. He decided to make them coffee while he waited for Dean to come back down. Time passed and Dean still hadn't come back down, so he decided to go check on him. He went upstairs to the girl's room and looked inside, he smiled at the scene before him. Dean was laying on the bed on his back, a girl on either side of him, cuddled close to him. He had both arms wrapped around them protectively, as all three slept peacefully. He went to the bed and carefully covered them up, he kissed all three of their heads gently, before he left the room quietly.
**The Next Day**:
Dean walked through the forest alone, he was heading to the place he had met Keeper at yesterday; he hoped the bastard was there. He had spent all morning talking to his family and he apologized for what happened. Of course, he didn't tell them about Keeper, they'd just overreact and besides, he was turning him down, so it didn't matter. He felt a little better now that he had talked and apologized to them and they had all forgiven him. He wouldn't feel completely better though, until he finally stopped Vassago!
"You came back, I was afraid you decided not to let me help." Keeper's voice spoke from behind him.
"That's exactly why I'm here." Dean said smiling, as he turned to face him.
"What?" Keeper asked shocked.
"You heard me, asshole! I'm turning your offer down, so shove it up your ass!"
"You're...different, today. You don't seem as angry, let me guess...you and your little family had a nice, long talk?" Keeper said mocking him.
"What I do and who I do it with are none of your damn business!" Dean said angrily, as he pointed at him. "I said what I needed to say and now I'm leaving. The next time I see you will be when I kill you!" He added, as he turned to leave, but Keeper spoke stopping him.
"Your powers are growing, aren't they, Dean? You haven't told anyone though, but I can sense a great power inside of you, brother. Without proper guidance though they'll be useless and Vassago will kill you and your precious, little family."
"I have Zander to help me, dammit, he has before!" Dean said angrily, as he turned back to face him.
"Ah, yes, Zander!" Keeper said smiling. "And by helping, you must mean getting you through the bloodlust?" He questioned, Dean didn't answer, he just stood staring at Keeper, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. "I'll take your silence as a yes. Brother, I'm afraid anyone with the right information could have helped you through the bloodlust...even your pathetic mortals. Helping you harness your powers is something entirely different and more complex, I'm afraid our brother just doesn't have what it takes."
"You're lying!" Dean replied, refusing to believe he needed any damn thing from Keeper!
"Maybe I' am, the only way to find out, Chosen One, is to read my inner thoughts."
Dean stood silently staring at Keeper, he wanted to leave, wanted to tell him to go back to Hell, but couldn't. What if there was a chance that he was right and he was the only one who could help him? He couldn't risk his family, he had to know for sure either way, then he'd figure out what he was going to do. So, he closed his eyes and concentrated on Keeper, it only took a few seconds for Dean to find out the truth. He opened his eyes again and looked at Keeper; who never moved or spoke.
"Well, Chosen One, am I lying?" Keeper asked smiling smugly.
"I want you to remember one thing, you son-of-a-bitch!" Dean said, as he walked towards him and standing toe to toe with Keeper he grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pulled him close. "You will die alongside Vassago and it'll be by my hand!"
"Until then?"
"We have a deal, but I promise you, Keeper, if you try to betray me in any damn way or you hurt my family I will rip you apart slowly with my bare hands!"
"Understood, unnecessary, but understood. I told you of my intentions and as you saw for yourself, I'm not lying or planning on betraying you in any way. We share a common enemy and goal, brother." Keeper assured him smiling. "When do we begin?"
"Meet me here tomorrow at dusk, can you get away undetected from the nest?"
"Of course." Keeper replied smiling. "Until tomorrow, Chosen One." He added, as he bowed.
Dean said nothing, he just turned around and began walking back to the monastery, he still wasn't sure about letting Keeper help him, but right now he needed whatever edge he could get over Vassago! And if that little weasel tried anything, all Dean had to do was kill him and no one else would get hurt. Besides, by letting Keeper help he'd get access to all the information the asshole had discovered about him and his powers. He just needed an excuse to get away from his family without them getting suspicious; now that was going to be the hard part!
TBC...