Kai-
In our secluded cottage that is on the water literally, I wake up to the sound of the waves, and not a baby crying.
I wrap my legs around Amber and pull her in closer to me. She smells like lavender and vanilla.
She flips around so she's facing me, and she puts her hands on my face and kisses me.
"Well good morning." I say.
"Good morning baby." She says calmly.
I scoot closer to her and kiss her. I then go down slowly. Jawline, then neck, then her chest. I move down all the way to her belly. She is so beautiful.
She quickly got out of bed and threw up. "Food poisoning?" I ask.
"Maybe, or all the flying. The flight was not the shortest." She replies.
"Sorry to ruin the moment." She laughs. I laugh.
Through the week, we went swimming with sharks, went to pig island, did a ton of boating, had a ton of amazing sex, and got even closer than we were before.
We were at the airport, waiting for our flight home. Amber had to throw up again. Walking out of the bathroom, she does not seem pleased.
"Babe, are you okay?" I ask.
"I need like thirty bucks." She says.
"Why do you need thirty bucks?" I ask.
"Just, please?" She says again. She's frustrated now.
I hand her my card, and she walks away to a gift shop. Then, without walking to me to show me what she got she went back into the bathroom.
Was it tampons? What could it possibly be that would make her so mad.
She walks out with something in her hand about 15 minutes later. She has tears in her eyes. She drops it in my lap and sits down angrily.
It was a stick.
A pregnancy test.
Positive.
"I can't have another baby right now. I don't want another baby!" She says, flustered. I'm still astonished.
"Maybe you're looking at it the wrong way." I say.
"How do you look at a pregnancy test differently?" She asks.
"No, I mean, what if a baby right now wasn't so bad. Don't make it so bad." I tell her.
She's more calmed down now. "Flight 13C? Flight 13C. Last calls." The over-com reads.
I take her hand and we walk on the plane.
The whole time. It was silent.
I put my hand on her knee. She looks over at me.
"You told me I didn't have to be pressured into having more kids." She says quietly.
"Yes, and I never did pressure you, but you're pregnant now, and we can't really take that back." I whisper back.
"I just- I just don't want to bring another unwanted baby into this world. Yes, I love Dawson and Zoe. But they were both accidents whether we can help it or not. So, please listen to me when I say that it would suck to be unwanted." She whispers harshly.
"You can make them unwanted, yes. But do we treat Zoe and Dawson unwanted? No! Because secretly they were blessings in our lives. I'm not expecting you to love this. But I know you'll love the baby." I say, ending the conversation.