"Guess who just called me to tell me that you are only using me for sex?"
When I look up at Miller, the blinding sunlight hits my eyes and I look down immediately. I know who called though. "Ella?"
Miller nods with an amused smile, "Apparently, you told your best friend Ella that the reason you're dating me is just so that you can lose your virginity to someone as pretty as I am. She also said that she thinks that we should get back together again, so that I'm safe from 'the beast that is Caitlin Mays'."
"What did you tell her?" I roll my eyes a bit painfully.
"To fuck off, obviously," he tells me as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, which it probably is to people who aren't Caitlin Mays.
I laugh lightly, "Obviously."
The look he gives me next confuses me greatly. It's a mix of confusion, admiration, and curiosity? He keeps his gaze on me and I find that I am keeping mines on him.
He's just so pretty. I'm actually understanding those die-hard love finding girls at school who practically jump on Miller every time their eyes land on him. Every time he moves his head, his brown hair swishes around. When he looks at you, his gray eyes are so intense and focused. His lips are so full and–
Snap out of it!
I really need Miller to hit me with his football again. Maybe that'll knock the sense back into me.
I hate football players. They are stupid, shallow jerks who think of girls as condoms; they use them, then throw them away.
"Warn me if you two are going to kiss," Carter snaps my attention to somewhere other than Miller's face.
Before I can deny it, Miller grabs my shoulders, twists my body to face his, and places a kiss smack dab on my lips.
So much for a fantasy first kiss.
It would be an over statement to say that the kiss was chaste. It was more of the kind of kiss two six year olds would do just because they see their parents doing it. Even if if wasn't much of a kiss, I still felt the millisecond of heat that traveled through my body followed by one of Carter's groans.
"Aw man Miller! I don't need to see you making out with my sister! Jesus Christ! Oh and the next time she kisses me on the cheek, all I'll be able to think about is your lips against– Forget it!" he throws his arms into the air to emphasize his disgust and storms away.
I'm literally scared to look at him right now.
A few minutes ago, we were having a stare off, now I can't even blink in his direction. Life is funny... not really.
"Sorry," I hear him say a bit sheepishly.
"It's fine," I say not making eye contact with him. Ugh, I probably sound unconvincing,but maybe that's because I am still trying to convince myself.
We sit in silence for another couple of minutes. I can basically hear Miller thinking. His breathing has become deeper and faster and he's rocking back and forth.
Once again, he grabs my shoulders and twists me so that we are looking each other straight in the eye. Is he going to kiss ms again? Do I want him to kiss me again?
No, he doesn't kiss me, but he begins to ramble a bit nervously? "Look, I'm sorry. Your brother is just so cocky and I just got kind of caught up in the moment trying to make him mad. I won't do it again if you don't want me to. I promise, we can just be that cake couple who doesn't ever kiss. Do you even still want to do this? You looked so uncomfortable, I'm feeling guilty I dragged you in on this plan. It's so stupid. We could find another way to crack Ella. I'm so fucking sorry Caitlin. I shouldn't have–"
To shut him up, I use my palm to cover his mouth and laugh when he looks at me with bewilderment.
It turns out jerky jocks can get nervous too. Who knew?
"Geez Milly, calm down. It's okay. I'm not mad. You didn't drag me into this plan, I chose it along with the many things that I would have to do in order to succeed with this," I take my hand off of his now red face.
The smile that brightens up his whole face re-appears and I can see his ego emerging from the dead. Oh boy.
"Did you just call me Milly?" he tries to hide the smile with a glare, "For the second time?"
Instead of formulating a smart comeback, I do something that not only surprises Miller, but myself too. I lean in and place my lips onto his. What is this boy doing to me?
Unlike our last kiss, which seemed rushed and unprofessional, this one brings me to all sorts of different highs. It starts of chaste and sweet, but passion builds up quickly. It even gets to the point where I feel Miller's tongue push past my lightly closed lips. I've never felt this feeling before; it's not exactly like fireworks exploding like people say, it's better. The million butterflies that have formed in my stomach fly away when Miller presses his tongue against mines. He smells like strawberries and mint. What a cliche moment.
The reason we pull away is purely because of our lack of oxygen. Or more like, my lack of oxygen. I swear, I was panting in his mouth.
"What was that for?" he asks, clearly as out of breath as I am.
My brain is running with a million thoughts a second, I could barely hear what Miller said. Unfortunately, I did and now I have to think of a snaky response.
Fumbling with my fingers, I tell him stupidly, "It was to prove it. To prove that we can kiss anytime you want to and I don't mind. I really don't." I slowly look at him and add, "Probably not one of the best kisses you've gotten, huh?"
No kidding Miller has kissed girls prettier than I am. Heck, he's probably kissed a Victoria's Secret supermodel. Oh and there's Ella, who has these huge eyes and pretty pink lips. She could be a supermodel if her personality didn't repel so much.
Miller places two fingers under my chin and raises it so that I can see his soft smile, "If you want me to be honest, that was the best kiss I have ever had, but you probably killed, like, half of my ego by making the first move."
"The other half is probably good enough to last you ten lifetimes," I tease him, while blushing profusely.
Lunch was lunch. I hung by Miller's side the whole time, feeling closer to him after the kiss and we acted like a Taylor Swift love song. Everytime we would peck each other's lips, Carter would pretend to barf and mom would scold him, telling him that I don't do this when he and Tasha are ripping each other's clothes off. I found out a lot about the Woods family. Did you know that Ms. Woods(as well as Mr. Woods before he passed) owns a condom company? Woods Condoms, Protection is the first word in sex! That was a good laugh for me.
The Woods end up having pizza with us for dinner too. Mom and Ms. Woods really hit it off thanks to their common interest in classical music and good parenting.
The adults end up having a bit of alcohol. I can see Miller pratically wanting to telepathically bring the beer to him. In the end, the 'bit' of beer turns in to 'a whole lot' of beer and all the supposedly adults are getting a little tipsy.
"I'm calling a cab," I announce when the Woods are planning to leave. What is Miller's mom drives into a pole with her alcohol filled self?
"No, Caitie, no. Let them stay over tonight. It'll be great!" Mom suggests with a sing songy voice that scare the living daylights out of me.
I've never seen my parents drunk before.
Ms. Woods claps her handds together like a little child, "Oh yes! We can't just have the party end here, now can we? It'll be so much fun being able to continue when we wake up! Who agrees?"
I'm surprised when Carter says yes along with mom and dad. He must've drank too when they weren't watching, it's so like Carter to do that. Responsible, good looking man by day, exreme party boy by night.
I give Miller a nervous glance. He seems surprisingly calm under this situation of managing four drunk people, "Okay, we'll stay, we'll stay. You guys are hurting my ears with all of this yelling. Just go to your rooms and sleep, god! Mom, I'll take the couch. Caitlin, mind showing my mom and my sisters to a guest room?"
Wow, I'm surprised by how Miller handled the dilemma.
I show whoosey Ms. Woods to a guest room on the top floor and take the quick decision that the two girls wouldn't want to sleep with a mother who is acting more childish than they are. They are too young to be exposed to this.
Huh, and mom reads stacks of 'Best Parent' magazine.
Tucking the twins in, I kiss their foreheads and tell them not to worry. I don't know how they are going to sleep tonight after seeing their mother like that.
"They so owe us," I slump down on the couch next to Miller after doing my round with his family. Apparently, he checked on my parents and brother to make sure they were in their rooms and they were, thankfully.
"I can't wait to use this against my mom the next time I get drunk," he laughs a little evilly.
Rolling my eyes, I sigh at my social life, "Well, I can't use this the way you can, but it'll sure make a good conversation started tomorrow morning."
"You haven't been drunk before?" this make him sit up and stare at me wide-eyed, his voice lingering with shock.
I don't know if you noticed, I'm not that kind of girl. I don't drink so much that I have to be taken to the hospital or go jam out at parties during my Friday night. Ella's tried to get me to go and I have, but drinking was never even a possibility. It's illegal, people.
"It's not that unheard of," I brush off lightly, wanting to move away from the subject.
Miller doesn't take my hint though and continues to mumble about me, "It's unheard of if you go to our school. I thought that you would've gone to parties with Ella and gave in to peer pressure to drink and then loose yourself a bit. Wow, I thought you were tense, but not this tense."
I did go to parties with Ella, but I would've been out within half an hour. I would go wait in the car so that I could drive a usually very drunk Ella home.
Now that I look back, I realize that I was such a pushover.
I look down at my hands with hurt plastered all over my face. Calling me tense isn't the worst way you could go, but that doesn't mean it won't hurt. The part that kills me is how true it is. I hate change, so I don't do anything I wouldn't normally do.
"Hey," Miller pushes the strand of my hair that has fallen across my face away and speaks in a sympathetic tone, "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I mean a good kind of tense. Like one where you'll be a fucking billionaire in the future."
Even though I don't want to, I smile.
Miller pushes my shoulder against his, allowing me to rest my head on his chest. I feel my eyes get droopy as I follow his steady breathing pattern. Inandout, inandout, inandout.
"Miller?" I question his consciousness.
"What?"
Looking up at him, I say sleepily, "Why are you doing this? There's no one watching. Ella doesn't know."
I can feel his squirm from beneath me, but he doesn't answer. My whole body grows warmer as I am leaning on him. He's like a giant warm blanket.
If he doesn't answer soon, I will be asleep. Maybe that's what he wants. He wants MW to sleep so that I don't hear what he has to say about me. Probably something bad that would make me want to throw a chair his face. In fact, the whole reason behind this whole mess of a situation is that has lonely. I'm probably one of those girls they use for sex then dump them.
This idea shakes me so much that I push myself off of him. Stupidme, howcouldIfallforsuchadumbthing?
"Are you using me?" I stand up furiously.
Miller seems more shocked by my anger than when I revealed I've never been wasted. He trues to grab my wrist, but I step another foot away from him and repeat my question with an even louder tone.
"Caitlin, you're gonna wake everyone up," he hisses.
"Does it look like I care?!" I can feel everything rise up inside of me. Whatishappening? WhyamIsomad?
I want to yell at this innocent boy. I want to cry for being such a bitch. Mainly, I want to leave that horrible thought.
I look into his eyes. They are so very now, almost black. I know that tears are filling my eyes because my vision becomes so blurry and when I blink, droplets of water rain down. What is wrong with me?
"I'm going upstairs to sleep," I tell Miller quietly.
This way, if Miller is trying to use me, he can't.
I hear Miller's voice when I reach the frame of the door. It's so soft and promising that I stop to listen, "To answer your earlier question about why I was doing it I-I-I, um, I…"
Twisting around to look at his puzzled face, I sigh, preparing to listen. If he's just using me like a rag, then he might as well admit it now so that he won't spoil my feelings later on. But of course, no one really cares about what I think.
I can tell that he wants to say something badly, but something else is stopping him. He keeps opening his mouth then closing it.
Eventually, I give up and leave. The second after I close the door, I hear him mumble the answer go my question, but I can't make out what he said. I briefly considering asking him to repeat, but I no longer can because of my drowsiness.
Or maybe it's because I no longer care.
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Hai:) Iamlovingthisbooksofar, soyay! That'llprobablymeanthatIwillfinishthisbook, no worries. Iamworriedaboutmyotherstory, OppositelyFallingthoughbecauseIjustcan'tcomeupwithideas, help:(
Caitlinisgettingprettystressedasyoucantellbyhowmoodysheis. ShecanhardlybelievethataboyashandsomeasMillerisisspendingtimethathedoesn'tneedtospendwithher. Shedoesn'tbelievethatsheboy-worthmateriallikeEllaissoshe'sconvincedherselfthatMillerisusingher.
Question: WhatdoyouthinkMillersaid in response to Caitlin's question when she closedthedoor?
Kay, byemyawesomereaders! PleasevoteandfollowandIloveyou guys:*