If it was for you
I could pretend to be strong
When it hurt so bad
Yoongi barely remembers getting home and collapsing on his bed, but he woke up that morning with puffy eyes and a sore throat (probably from screaming his pain out). His knuckles were raw, which meant that he must have punched the wall. His pillow was damp from where he had cried, and he fell asleep clutching one of Jimin's shirts to his nose, the scent of cinnamon and apples lulling him to sleep.
His lip quivered at the remembrance of the fight they had had the previous night, and the guilt weighed on his shoulders. He should have apologised immediately and refused to leave, but he knew that Jimin deserved to cool down at least a little bit. He sat up in his bed, hearing the pitter-patter of raindrops against his window. He drew the curtains back and saw that there was, indeed, a storm brewing outside.
He pulls his poetry book closer, allowing the familiar sensation of inspiration to soothe his soul at least a little bit. He reached for his pen and started writing.
Yoongi has written various poems where he compares Jimin to a drug, to his new drug, and most of them were sweet. Or, well, some were sexual as well. He has spent hours thinking about Jimin's perfect body, writing down exactly how his body made him feel. He loved the way his firm body felt beneath his hands and his lips and how the flesh turned red whenever he touches it. At that moment, Yoongi was trying to console himself by writing a love poem, but it instead came out sexual.
Your body
Let me look at your feet
That has walked a lonely road
Let me kiss those blisters
That was caused by bearing that load
Let me kiss up your legs
Then stop at your thighs
So muscled and perfect
Let me hear those sighs
Trace my tongue to the inner
"I'm so ugly" - Lies
Run my hands up behind
So soft, but firm and round
Baby, take your hands from your face
I want to hear those sinful sounds
Up over your hips
Hold my thumbs in that hollow
I look up - You look flustered
Your adam's apple bob as you swallow
Yoongi ended up throwing the book across the room, the pages rustling as the book fell open on a random spot. He threw his pillow as well, groaning loudly as he did. How the fuck did they even end up where they were at that moment? Yoongi wasn't sure if he and Jimin were mad at each other or not, if they were frustrated with each other, or if they really just needed time to think everything through.
Yoongi knew he was the one in the wrong, and perhaps that's what's frustrating him so much. He's not used to accepting that he's wrong, and he has no idea where to even start with the whole making up business. Well, for one, he needs to find out the truth about his mom. As soon as he knew where he was standing, he could figure out how to make up to Jimin. As much as he hated it, he knew he had to meet up with Jihoon at least one more time.
His wallpaper of Jimin made his heart ache beautifully, and he finally realised what he was actually doing: he was actively busy fixing a mistake. As much as he just wanted to grab a drink and drown his sorrows in the alcohol, as much as he just wanted to float off to another plain of existence, he would much rather bare the curse of his lover's eyes and get rid of the skeletons in his closet, as much as the prospect scares him. He was going to dust out the cobwebs from his soul, venture into the deepest, darkest parts of his heart, and try and render the curse that has been put on him. He was ready to save his prince, to claim what is his, to give his prince the life he deserves.
He was ready to be the Min Yoongi who Jimin needed. Yoongi needed to be strong, even if it meant not being strong alone. He needed to be strong with Jimin, because that's what a relationship means. And one day, if they do have to part ways, Yoongi will not regret the time he has spend with Jimin, and he will not regret the amount of pain and love and strive he put into making their relationship work, because it was Jimin who saved Yoongi. Even if it's too fast, even if it's a bit naïve, even if it all ends up falling down to the earth like the great fall of Babel, Yoongi will allow the pieces to fall upon him with open arms and a wide smile. He will allow himself to be buried underneath the rubble of their love, and then slowly start rebuilding his being from the ground up, because that is what Jimin would have wanted.
Because, after all, Jimin finally caused daybreaks to make sense to Yoongi.
Yoongi dialled Namjoon's number, and sighed in relief when he picked up. "Namjoon, I need your help. No questions asked. You owe me one."
There was a slight silence before Namjoon answered. "Got it. What do we need to do? Should I tell Jin?"
Yoongi held the phone to his ear using his shoulder while he tied up his combat boots, having fallen asleep the previous night in his jeans and socks. "No, tell him afterwards. Easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. We're gonna go beat Jihoon up. Then I'm gonna go get my man."
-
Yoongi sat silently as Namjoon drove, his shoulders tense, but his gaze was determined. He kept his eyes on the road while bobbing his head to the loud music on his earphones. Namjoon tugged an earphone out when they neared the building. "Can I get at least a bit of background?" Namjoon asked, his wise eyes kind.
Yoongi sighed and paused his music. "So, don't get mad at me, but I dealed a bit for Jihoon to get money. My mom is apparently sick. I didn't tell Jimin, and when I did, he was pissed. So, now I'm going to get some info on my mom after putting Jihoon on his place. I'm fucking sick of being under his spell, of being his little puppet. For once, I'm going to be the one to pull the strings. Then, I'm gonna get the biggest fucking chocolate chip cookie in South Korea to give my boyfriend."
Namjoon took the largest breath he has ever taken, then sighed dramatically before laughing unexpectedly. "It's about damn time. I've been wanting to punch that little shit's face since you first introduced him to me." Yoongi looked at Namjoon confusedly, and Namjoon just chuckled and shook his head. "Yoongi, I'm a passive person, you know this. But, I saw the way he looked at Jin. And no one looks at Jin like that except me. Then he broke your heart and nearly killed you, but I remained quiet. For your sake. And now he's here fucking up our lives again. I've had enough. I'm not going to allow him to fuck up the lives of my brother and my husband again."
"Husband?"
"Future husband!" Namjoon quickly corrected himself, but Yoongi laughed. Namjoon laughed with, not sure what they were laughing at, but they were soon bawling with tears in their eyes, the laughter a front for the nervousness they were hiding. Namjoon's grip on the steering wheel was deadly, the whites of his knuckles showing. Yoongi's laughter died down as he looked at the picture of Jimin on his wallpaper.
"Namjoon, I love this boy. I love him more than I think is humanly possible. He makes it all worth it, you know? The...the pain, the cravings, the tears, the struggle, everything. Every hardship I have faced as a human person finally makes sense: it all led me to him. Now, I don't have to face them alone. Now I have a source of happiness, someone to love me when I can't love myself. I'm not strong enough to be on my own, to be sane on my own. I need him, Namjoon. I need him the way a dancer needs music, I need him the way an artist needs a blank canvas, I need him the way the Earth needs the rising sun. Maybe I am stupid, and naïve, but Namjoon... I love him."
"Hyung, you're not naïve." Namjoon said easily, not even sparing a second to think about it. "People who have experienced as much pain as you have? They're the ones who see the true beauty of the world. They're the ones who experience emotions in their most raw and untamed form, they can truly appreciate the value of human virtues and emotions. You're experiencing love in it's finest and most pure form. Not a lot of people ever experience love like you're experiencing it, and don't ever let go of that. Fight for him, every day, fight for him. Find him. Make sure you find him again."
And the car was quiet again as Namjoon pulled up to Jihoon's apartment building. Namjoon took one more look at Yoongi before taking his necklace out from under his shirt and taking it off, putting it around Yoongi's neck. Yoongi looked at it, and saw two rings dangling from it.
"The promise rings Jin and I gave to each other in college. I recently took his, because I'm planning on giving him a better ring soon. I think... maybe you and Jimin should have them." Namjoon embraced Yoongi, and Yoongi had never been so thankful for his brother at that moment.
Yoongi hid the necklace under his shirt before getting out of the car, the afternoon sun hiding behind the grey clouds in the sky overhead. Yoongi breathed in the sour smell of the city before looking at Namjoon and smiling. "Is this a stupid decision? Wanting to go beat Jihoon up?"
Namjoon chuckled. "Yes, definitely... Will he even let me in?" Yoongi shook his head, looking through the window of the car to the ominous building looming above them. He sighed and shook his head, turning back to Namjoon.
"You stay, I'll just talk to him. I don't need him targeting you or Jin. I'll be fine. If I'm not back down in ten minutes, come to apartment 12A. Track my phone if you must." He opened the car door, but Namjoon grabbed his arm.
"Yoongi, are you sure? You won't be, like, kidnapped or something?" Namjoon's eyes were wide with worry, but Yoongi shrugged him off.
"This isn't some cliché fanfiction, Namjoon. I'll be fine. I know how to handle Jihoon, I promise." He smiled his gummy smile, and Namjoon huffed and sat back.
"Ten minutes, and counting."