Requested by TatyanaLoveBucky
Warnings: Vines, Cursing, you've been warned.
I like how when I was writing this I couldn't think of any Vines, yet at 2 am I can think of 30 different vine references.
Dad!Tony
———
Peter and You exchange a smirk and crack your knuckles. Peter backflips and lands on the ceiling. He walks towards the hall and into the main area.
You see your father instantly on the couch and you run over to him.
"Morning Dad!" You say and hug your father tightly. Tony smiled and hugs you back as he kissed the top of your head.
"Morning darling," He replies and you sit next to him. He smiled wider and just sighs.
"By the way, where's Pet— OH MY FUCKING GOD!" He yelled and fell off the couch. You laugh as Peter bursts out in laughter.
"Wow, didn't mean to scare you Mr. Stark!" Peter said and smirked. Tony rolled his eyes jokingly. Suddenly a large bang was heard from the ceiling, causing Peter to make a noise and fall onto the ground.
Clint pokes his head out of his vents and tsked at him.
"Uh huh. Didn't mean to scare you Parker," He said smirking. Tony high-fives him as you just laugh harder.
"YOU COULDA DROP MY CROISSANT!" Peter yelled back causing the two males to become confused. You couldn't stop your laughter from getting louder.
"DID I JUST HEAR A VINE REFERENCE?!" Wade yells as he drops from the heavens.
"Where the fuck did you come from?" Tony and Clint asked, as the merc fell through the ceiling.
"God sent him," Peter commented causing you to scoff.
"Bold of you to assume he isn't god," You replied and smirked. Wade rolled his eyes and cracked his knuckles.
Clint just sighs and leaves. He had enough of bullshit for one day.
Tony just sat there in shock. He really didn't want to deal with three children. This is where he gets punished for adopting to many children. He knew this was coming, the time where he would have to hear those god awful references.
"Look, Kids lets talk," Tony said and sat all of you down. He tried to think of a way for this to end.
"When I was little-," Tony was cut off by you snorting.
"*scoff* was?" You asked causing Peter to burst out in laughter. Wade does a left boob grab on Peter as he laughs.
Tony's eyes widen as he realizes the truth. It's already spread and infected the children's minds. He must leave and warn the others.
"Jarvis, activate code This Bitch Empty," Tony said and turned back at the children.
"YEET!" You all replied and started to scatter around the room. Tony took this as a chance to run into the nearest room. He saw Steve and Bucky under the bed. Tony locked the door and shushed the two soldiers.
"Oh god. They're coming," Bucky mumbled from under the bed. Tony gulped as he heard footsteps approaching. He mumbled a curse and awaited a knock.
"Dad? Where are you?" You snicker. Tony licks his lips nervously. Loud bangs are heard against the door. Tony lets it swing open as Wade jumps in.
"DON'T FUCK WITH ME! I HAVE THE POWER OF GOD AND ANIME ON MY SIDE," He said before releasing a loud screech.
Peter and you look at each other and smirk.
"That was legitness!" Peter says annoyingly. Tony, Steve, and Bucky all try to escape from you guys. Bucky slips and is captured instantly. Steve wants to go back but Tony holds the other male's arm.
"It's too late for him Steve!" He yells and Steve looks back. He sighs and leaves Bucky, guilt filling up inside him. Steve and Tony see Clint and join him in the vents.
"You guys good?" Clint asked. Tony and Steve nod. Clint leads them to another part of the vents where more people sat. "We got more survivors," Clint says to the group.
Sam, Bruce, Thor, Nat, and Wanda sat in the vent.
"Where's Bucky?" Nat asks. Steve looks away, hurt. Bruce shakes his head and sighs. Sam puts on a sad face, but smirks.
"Another one gone," Thor says. This makes Tony and Steve look up.
"Who else was captured?" Steve questioned. Before Thor could answer footsteps are heard from below. Everyone freezes and glances at each other. Their breathing gets softer as they see Loki beneath them.
"He was the first to be captured," Thor whispered.
"THOR! THIS IS WHY MOM DOESN'T FUCKING LOVE YOU! Did I say that right?" Loki asks you after saying the vine. You nod and give him a smirk.
"Dad, I didn't want to have to do this," You said and took out your phone. You dialed a number and put it to your ear. Tony's eyes widen in realization.
"She's gonna call my phone," He whispers worriedly. Everyone starts to whisper violently and scared. Tony shuts his phone off and gulps. You narrow your eyes at the phone.
"Shut off your phone? Clever Father," You insist and look up into the vents. Clint's foot was sticking out. Everyone noticed and got away from him.
Natasha seemed to not make a noise and disappeared somewhere. Tony and Steve panicked and crawl towards another side. Sam fucking jumped out and ran. Loki ran after him.
You smirked and pulled onto Clint's foot. He screeched and fell to the ground. "Going somewhere birdbrain?" You asked, as you tied him up. Peter put him next to Bucky and chuckled. You and him exchanged a psychotic grin.
"Two down, seven more to go,"
(in the end you get everyone except Natasha, because you couldn't find her. The only people who joined you guys were Loki and Sam.)
———
Bonus
———
[In the Soul Stone]
Bucky poofs in and looks around. He sighs and sits down on the floor? He hears a voice behind him and turns around. Bucky rolls his eyes and lets out a curse.
"OH FOR FUCKS SAKE!" He yells as Sam runs in with You and Peter.
"BITCH WE BACCCK!" You said and chuckled. Loki joined as well, looking at his watch, wondering when he should come back to Earth to surprise Thor.
"Too bad Wade isn't here. Who's gonna be our next bitch?" You asked sadly. Peter smirked and cupped his mouth.
"ROAD WORK AHEAD?!" He yelled. Silence was heard for a good couple seconds. Then loudly a girl's voice replied, along with other Teens.
"UH YEAH, I SURE HOPE IT DOES!" And that's when your next member, Shuri came into view.
Bucky's eyes widen. There was more of them. And they were coming, to destroy everyone.
The screen goes back, then Wade walks in eating popcorn through his mask because why not. He waved at the readers,
"Hey!" He says excitedly.
"I'm just gonna assume you guys said hi back, anyway that was great wasn't it! All those Vines in the Soul Stone!" Wade exclaimed. enthusiastically
"You know what's even more funny?" He asks the readers. He waits for a response, then adds,
"That most likely since Peter and Y/N are in the soul stone means Tony has to watch two kids get dusted. One kid he mentored and his actual kid. Damn he must be depressed up in space alone, with no food or water, or any oxygen for that matter!" Wade chuckles and smirks at the readers.
"Seriously, having to watch ONE kid die is bad enough! But TWO, well he's probably like....., actually I'll show you!" Wade says and scribbles some lines.
———
Bonus 2.0
Brought to you by Wade!
———
Tony stares at his hands in grief. A lump formed in his throat as he stared at the abyss in front of him. He was holding Peter in his arms when he dusted away. He had to watch you dust away next.
'This is my fault,' He thought to himself. He blamed himself for everything. (Even though IT WASN'T)
His heart pounded against his chest. He shook his head as his brown eyes glazed over. His body trembled with fear and anxiety. He stood up shakily.
You and Peter were gone now, why does living matter at this point? He thought to himself. He wiped the grime off of his forehead as he followed Nebula towards the Guardian's ship.
She flew the ship into space, he sat behind her. His eyes still staring at his hands, realization finally hit him.
What if Pepper and Rhodey were gone too? You and Peter were dead, and he wasn't sure he'd even see you both again. So Tony finally let out the pain he had been holding in. He let the tears rush down his cheeks quietly. He put his head into his hands and cried softly.
He had no one now.
(Except James Rhodes, [if Pepper's dead] who's gonna beat Thanos' purple ass himself if he has too)
I just fucking realized Tony doesn't know if Rhodey's even alive either. Or Pepper, Or even Happy. He's just alone in space, probably thinking everyone he loves is dead. Like FUCK
— Author, and Wade Wilson