Morning.
Rosé Pov.
We gave Lisa a medicine, for her to get back to her senses. And it did work for the meantime. But Ms. Joohyun said, that her mind wasn't stable specially now that she is suffering from depression because of what happened to Jennie.
Now that Lisa woke up, and finally seeing us. I felt relieve, but I wished she'll stay at her sane for good. My poor friend doesn't deserve to suffer like this. This is just too much.
"Rosé, please let me see Jennie? Please tell me where is she.", Lisa mumbled pleading at me, squeezing my arms unconsciously. I could feel the tense in her voice, while her hands was so cold, she's anxious.
Her eyes was already glistening in tears. And it breaks my heart, witnessing again the same state she's been into when her father left them.
I wanted to tell her where Jennie is, but I don't know if it's ok? cause I don't want to cause her another break down. So I turned my head on Ms. Joohyun's direction trying to ask if it's ok, Ms. Joohyun saw me looking at her and she probably sensed the questions I had in my eyes as she nods, indicating that it's ok.
"I'll bring you to her. I know Lisa, I know you need to see her.", I said and held Lisa's wrist tugging it and pulling her to follow me.
"Auntie, is it ok?", I stopped in front of Mrs. Bruschweiler asking her permission first, since I know how worried she is for her daughter.
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"Of course Rosé sweetie, go on. Go see her Lisa. Jennie sure is waiting for you.", Mrs. Bruschweiler mumbled softly and caressed Lisa's cheek with her thumb, and looking at her daughter's eyes lovingly. Lisa was taken aback, as her heart beats frantically when the thoughts of Jennie's situation flashed back on her.
"Mom..I'm so sorry for worrying you.", Lisa mumbled softly and suddenly pulled her mom into a tight hug, which surprised the latter, not expecting her daughter to show affection to her after all these years of being distant to her. It was a shock as well to Rosé because she knows Lisa didn't have a good relation to her mother ever since her father's incident, it was like Lisa was so different after she wakes up.
Mrs. Bruschweiler was stunned for seconds unable to catch on what's happening to her daughter, but before Lisa pulled away from the hug.
"It's ok sweetie, please be alright. For her.", Mrs. Bruschweiler whispered on Lisa's ear as she tapped Lisa's back in comfort.
Lisa parted from the hug, and gave her mother a nod. Smiling bittersweetly, while smudging her face and wiping her tears dry. Before stepping back and tugging Rosé's hand, pulling her bestfriend towards the door.
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After Lisa and Rosé left.
"You're daughter seems like a good person. And so inlove.", Ms. Joohyun said pursing her lip as she fixed her eye glasses. And slightly smile at the mother.
"Lisa is a sweet and a very loving daughter, she always is, but I took it for granted. How I wish I could turn back time and been the mother that she deserves.", Mrs. Bruschweiler said, as she took a deep sigh. Brushing her arms as she remembered how she mistreated her daughter when her husband started to behave like a crazy person. Resulting them always arguing every single day. And it affected her relationship with her only daughter. Which she always been regretting then until now, but it was too late because Lisa has became aloof after her husband died.
"Hmm, I get that we're all gonna came to that point that we feel regretful and wishing we could turn back time. But if we can control time then mistakes would never exist, or it will but we are too cool with it and ignore it until we get ourselves satisfied. We might just abuse time and probably be repeating the same mistakes over and over, so maybe that's why no one can control it there's no rewind, there's no pass forward we can only play it continuously, and I bet that is for our own good." Ms. Joohyun paused. And sigh as she started to walk towards Mrs. Brushweiler.
"And I also think that, every person should learn how to value their time because it has it's limit, it's like our life are those tiny pieaces of sands inside an hourglass. Once the sands all came down it's our end, but on the other side it's waiting to be filled again for another lifetime. So as long as your hourglass still has the sands on top?, Then you can always make up for the times you've thought that you should've done better. And do it exactly as you wished it would be.", Ms. Joohyun said and handed to Mrs. Burschweiler an envelope. Which contains the necessary documents needed to be sign, before they could proceed to the treatment. And left the room following Rosé and Lisa outside.
Mrs. Bruschweiler heave a deep sigh, knowing that everything the doctor had said was true. And it will all came down to this point. They need to decide soon, before Lisa get even more worst than she is now. This time she will not leave her daughter's side and let the girl deal with herself alone. She will not do the same mistake again, those times that she felt disappointed seeing Lisa talking to herself reminds her of her husband.
She hated her husband and the thing he did to their daughter pointing that gun is something she will never forgive, she knew her husband was crazy but never did she thought of that he could do something like that. And what worst is she was seeing younger Lisa slowly becoming like her father made her feel resentful towards her own daughter, and that's what make her feel ashamed and regretful today.
"I'm so sorry my baby. I shouldn't have felt that way, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have mistreated you that time.", Mrs. Bruschweiler mumbled as she burst out crying, her hands shaking while holding on the envelope.
But a sudden phonecall caught her attention. Mrs. Bruschweiler, took her phone out of her and answered it quickly seeing her husband's name on it.
"Hello. Marco?", She mumbled, while wiping on her tears, and suppressing her small sobs.
"Glad you picked up. How is your daughter? How is Lisa? Is she alright now? I'm on my way to the hospital.", Marco said on the other line, he just got a voice email from her wife telling him everything that happened during the night, and only heard it this morning. And he took a flight from Thailand to Korea with a private jet as soon as he heard the voice mail.
"Lisa had an episode last night, they gave them a medicine to prevent her from hallucinating for a while. So we could talk to her about the treatment. And she only wake up just a while ago, but she was back to her senses. Honey, my daughter. She is so hurt, my poor daughter. She's suffering too much, and I can't do anything about it." Mrs. Bruscweiler said, as she bit her lip tight and covering her mouth in haste trying to stop herself from weeping again.
"Shhss, everything will be alright. I know Lisa doesn't deserve to suffer from that illness too. But we knew there was a possibility that she'll have it, since she shows some signs back then, but now that our fear finally is happening. What we need to do is, let's not make your daughter have the same path like him. Lisa is a strong girl, she'll be alright honey. You'll be surprised what she's capable of.", Marco said, his voice was firm, he sounds so confident with Lisa that made his wife feel a little at ease, and hoping that her husband was right that Lisa will be just alright Mrs. Bruschweiler finally smile a bit.
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Lisa Pov.
The moment I stepped out of my room, I felt like I was walking a bit slow. Or my feet have become so heavy? And my ears feels like there was a clog on it, that makes it so difficult for me to hear my friend talking to me. I could only see her mouth open, and her eyes looking at me anxiously.
My footsteps and my loud beating heart is all that I could hear. I felt so nervous, I think I'm gonna passed out. I could feel my sweats running down at the back of my ears. Running along my neck, I clenched my hands as I stopped on my track.
Scrunching my eyes close, and swallowed hard. Oh God, how can I face Jennie? I did something wrong to her. She's hurt because of me.
Stop doubting yourself!
Those words, suddenly echoed in my head. Everything myself told me, I remembered it all clearly, like it was so real. I'm crazy I know, I was fucking talking to myself. Damn I have to stop this!
"Lisa!?", I heard Rosé loud voice, calling my name snapped me out of my senses. I quickly opened my eyes while panting so hard, but now I could finally hear my friend.
"Lisa? are you ok? You are sweating so hard? I think we should go back, and let you rest for while.", Rosé said as she held my arm, and planning on pulling me back to my room. But I grab her wrist and look at her straight on the eyes.
"No, we're not going back. If I go back there I might get insane again. I-I just felt a li-ttle dizzy-", I said while I stuttered and furrowed my brow averting my eyes of my friend.
"You're lying Lisa. I know when you are lying. Tell me what do you really feel?", Rosé asked, she know me so well of course. I let go of her hand, and sighed.
"I'm afraid, and ashamed, look how can I have the audacity to show my face in front of her? In front of her family? and her friends? We all know if she didn't pushed me that would be me instead of her. And why am I in there by the way? because I've gone crazy and run in the middle of the road.", I said gritting my teeth hard as I remembered everything.
"But you said you need to see her now. Why?", Rosé asked back. That made me tilt my head and looked at my friend's eyes. Oh right I just said I need to see her that's why I dragged Rosé out of my room.
"Because I miss her. And I wanted to see her so bad.", I said straightforwardly not breaking our eye contact.
"That's all Lice, that's all you need to think of now. And nothing more, stop being afraid. Just do what your heart was telling you.", Rosé said, that took me off guard. And a sudden urge to see her immediately consumed me. Rosé is right I should stop faltering, I miss Jennie so much. Whatever awaits me in that room, I should be strong.
So Rosé continue to walk and turned her head looking at me waiting for me to follow her. And so I did, and started walking again.
We walked further steps along the corridors, and there I saw everyone. Jennie's friends Mina, Jimin, Jungkook and Mr. Taehyung. They were talking to Seulgi. But they all stopped when their eyes caught a glimpse of me. Now they all turn their attention on me. I gulped hard when my eyes met theirs, they looked at me with concern. But then I noticed these kids behind them sitting at the bench outside this particular room. My heart begun to pound so fast, when I finally met Nayeon, Jihyo and Dahyun's eyes. Little Dahyun's stared at me for a second probably surprised as she saw me.
I saw her mouth mumble my name softly. And in that moment her eyes begun to pour tears, and that just broke my heart. The three kids stood up and walked going to the side. As their eyes averted going somewhere, looking at the this transparent glass wall behind them. My eyes followed where they're looking.
"Jennie?", I gasped and covered my mouth. As my eyes widen in shock. And right then my heart sink in despair. This is just to much.
Everything became blurry, I was catching my breath as I felt my knees that made me lost my balance.
Rosé Pov.
"Oh my God, Lice." I exclaimed, as I held Lisa's arm tightly before she stumble down. She looked pale, and I could understand why, she saw Jennie at her worst state, with all these tube attached to her to support her from breathing. Her head was covered in bandage, her face and arms still had these fresh bruises. It's so pityful to look at her. And even someone who doesn't know her will feel sorry for her.
I saw Lisa's jaw clenched and he started to cry.
"Oppa~", The youngest girl that probably is Jennie's youngest sister immediately run to Lisa's side. And hugged her wrapping it's arm around Lisa's waist.
Lisa bend down on her knees, and face the Little girl upclose.
"Dahyunsshi..I'm so sorry baby. Sorry, sorry for everything..", Lisa mumbled as she hugged the girl tightly.
"Oppa~ please be strong, unnie will be alright, she'll wake up. Please go back to her, please don't leave her~", The girl said between her sobs. This kid seems to know how her unnie loves Lisa so much. Now I felt guilty for even trying to get in between them.
"I won't baby. I would never going to leave her again. I promise you that. I'm so sorry.", Lisa said as she patted the girl's head gently. Before pulling away from the hug.
"Can I see your unnie?", Lisa asked asking permission to the little one.
"You don't have to ask. Unnie was waiting for you. And what took you so long?", The eldest sister of Jennie, I guessed? answered in behalf of the little girl. That caught Lisa's attention.
"This is the first time you were late, but don't worry you're forgiven.", The other girl beside the eldest added. Lisa slowly stood up and walked to where these girls are standing.
But these two girls run towards Lisa and met her halfway and gave my bestfriend a hug as well. Jennie's sisters were so sweet, they've treated Lisa like a family.
Lisa is so lucky to have found another family, she should keep this, they are so wonderful.
"You're smiling. But you still look so sad. I wished I could make you a little bit happy, but I don't know how.", A familiar voice came at my side, and nudges my arm lightly.
"Unnie~", I mumbled as I saw Jisoo unnie, with a can of hot coffee in both her hands. Then she stretches one of it and offered it to me. Which I gladly took.
"You haven't gotten any sleep, and I guess you still need to be awake for a few more hours.", Jisoo unnie said as she let go of the can. Without looking at me.
"You always does unnie.", I mumbled softly, that made stare back at me. Looking confused.
"You always made me happy, just by you being with me. I appreciate it a lot. Thank you." I said and gave unnie a smile. I maybe be sad for my friend, by it made me realize how important it is to have someone looking out for you, it made me appreciate the smallest things this person does for me.
Jisoo smiled in return, and held my hand tight. As we watch Lisa, going inside the ICU alone.
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Lisa Pov.
My eyes never left her as soon as I got inside. Her breathings on that mask is all that echoed in this room. I watched her chest slowly going up and down as she breathes, my Jennie is just sleeping right? She'll wake, I know she will.
I walked closer to her side, and settle myself beside her bed.
"Jennie..", I mumbled her name, while gasping for air. As I couldn't help my tears from falling.
"I miss you so much baby. I'm here now.", I said as I held her small hands with mine gently. Finally feeling her warmth, this is real this time. This is the real Jennie, this warmth that I've been longing for even in my dreams.
"I'm sorry, I know no matter even how many time I said sorry, it would change the fact that I've hurt you. And I'm really frustrated of myself because I always doubt us, I doubt you, and doubt myself, the truth is I never did trust anyone fully, even my own self. I always ended up thinking what if you've lost interest in me and leave me?, what if our relationship was just for a short period of time? what if I can't make you happy for the rest of your life? I get all those doubts running in my head ever since that day when I confessed to you. And I couldn't tell it to you because I don't want to dissapoint you. I don't want you lose your trust in me." I said as I scrunched my eyes close and gritting my teeth in frustration.
"I was unfair right? I want you to trust me but I couldn't trust you. I'm so sorry.", I groaned opening my eyes and broke down in tears.
"Please wake up..please look at me again..please let me hear you calling my name again..I promise, I will be ok, I will help myself and get better for you."
"We still have a wedding to finish. I'm going marry you. We'll have kids if you want to. Then we will build your dreamhouse, wait? I never had asked you about it yet, I still have so many things to ask you Jennie, you need to wake up baby..please.."
"I love you so much."
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Afternoon.
At Lisa's room.
Lisa was back at her room. She went back at her own accord. Which Rosé, Seulgi, and Mrs. Bruschweiler didn't expected. But joined Lisa inside the room listening to her doctor.
"I'll do it.", Lisa said firmly. After her doctor, Ms. Joohyun explained to her about the ECT. Including the cons, that she might experience during the treatment.
"No Lisa!? Mon amie that's kind of risky. Jennie needed you. We don't know if you can still remember her after doing it or not.", Seulgi said as she also heard everything the doctor have explained.
"I won't Seulgi. I could forget my fucking name but not her.", Lisa said confidently, clenching her hands close.
"And if ever I do. I would still remember her.", Lisa added looking straight to her friend's eyes.
"We can stop the treatment anytime you want. It's always up to the patient.", Ms. Joohyun said.
"Of course you will stop, because if anything bad happen to my friend I'm going back at you miss.", Seulgi said as she turn her eyes looking at the doctor. And furrowing her brow, while pursing her lip tight, she don't agree with it specially when she heard the possible consequence of it. Lisa might have a memory loss, although it was just a possibility, she couldn't help but feel more pity at the girl in coma. And it makes her blame herself even more.
Lisa stood up and went towards Seulgi.
And Seulgi's surprised.
Lisa hugged her.
"And besides, you are here mon amie. When I am not able to remember her if ever I loss my memory of her. I want you to take care of her for me. Please?", Lisa whispered to her ear. Before pulling away and squeezing her shoulder, asking for her response.
Seulgi was left dumbfounded, gawking in shocked when she heard what Lisa have told her.
"Don't you dare think of that. Don't you dare forget about her.", Seulgi answered, and squeezes Lisa's hand on her shoulder in response.
"I told you. I won't, trust me.", Lisa said firmly. And finally gave her friend a smile. A bittersweet smile, because behind it both of them knew it was a risk that none of them can predict what would happen.
"Where are the papers?", Lisa asked.
Then her mother approached her holding this envelope that she needed to sign, that gives consent to the doctors to proceed to her treatment.
"Sweetie..", Mrs. Bruschweiler handed her the envelope, her eyes shows so much uneasiness but, as she looked at her daughter's determined eyes. That made her finally smile, knowing how stubborn her daughter is, nothing she would say now will affect her daughter's decision.
"Don't worry about me. Mom.", Lisa said as she took the envelope and smiled back to her mother. Mrs. Brushcweiler then nod and brushed her arm in response.
Lisa took the papers out of the envelope, while everyone in the room watched her read everything written on it silently.
Then after a few minutes..
"Can I borrow this?", Lisa said as she took the ballpen on the doctor's chest pocket. That took Ms. Joohyun by surprised.
"La.li.sa Ma.no.ban, there you go. But please don't erase my memory of her. Because, that's everything to me.", Lisa said, after she signed the waver. Looking at Ms. Joohyun with pleading eyes, while she handed back the doctor's ballpen.
"Let see. Ms. Manoban.", The doctor said. As she took the ballpen from Lisa's hand and put it back to her pocket.
Everyone knew, that behind Lisa's smiles was a broken person hoping for that person to wake up and be with her, which no one knew when. But Lisa wanted to make herself be better first like what she promised Jennie before the incident. So she needed to take that risk no matter what, so when that time comes that the girl woke up, she'll be someone that Jennie deserves to have.
And not someone living in a dream.
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Honestly, I need Jenlisa to breathe again. Gosh, it's hard to write stories without inspiration.