Nothing compares to what we share
I don't have a care in the world
And as long as you're around
I'll be safe and sound
"Hello. I'm Yoongi, an addict."
"Hi, Yoongi."
Fuck, that made him cringe every time.
Yoongi had prepared a whole speech the night before about what he wanted to say. Hoseok encouraged him to share exactly how he felt and what happened, because keeping quiet won't help worth shit. The words were even written in his journal. Well, it was mostly his lyric book, but sometimes he had to dot his thoughts down when they get to intense to bottle up.
Okay, so I got myself a boyfriend a while ago. It's been nearly a month now, or a bit longer than a month, shit I don't know. I barely remember my birthday? Yes, he's fucking adorable. He's not like...nothing like my past. I was scared at first to be with him, because I didn't want to fuck him up. Yet, one thing led to another, you know? I didn't want to make him feel worthless and like I was just using him, so I agreed to be his boyfriend. It's scary. This hope, and this happiness, it's foreign.
"I recently got a boyfriend. We're very happy. He's good for me."
I want to study music. Namjoon is going to study music part-time while he's working as a teacher, and I want to study with him. I wrote my GED today, and I'm getting the results in a week. It was easy, though. I studied hard. Jimin wants to study dancing at Korean Institute For Arts, and I know it's a long shot...but I like to imagine myself studying there as well. Music, that is. And one day, I'll put together a mix-tape and fuck me, I want to become a rapper and Jimin will be my back-up dancer.
"I wrote my GED today, and I hope I do well. If I passed, I'll start taking a few classes at the Community College."
My mother is very sick, but I don't have the guts to try and call her up. Instead, I've been saving up, but it's not coming on fast enough. I have other living expenses, and a boyfriend. I haven't even told Jimin yet, because I don't want to worry him. I'll tell him if I really can't handle it. But I've been considering dealing again. I'll stop once I have enough money. I'm strong, and I won't use, only sell. It's good money, and I'll avoid contact with Jihoon as much as possible.
"I have some problems with my past coming back to haunt me, but I'll be able to handle it."
My cravings, for a while, was subdued, but with all this extra stress I've been experiencing recently, they've started resurfacing again. At least I'm always busy. Jimin makes me forget about the cravings sometimes. He's such a good soul.
"The cravings are the same as always, I guess."
I dreamt about a future where everything was okay. In this future, I was married to Jimin. He was making breakfast while singing along to some Charlie Puth song on the radio, or was it Hey There Delilah? Anyways, and on his finger was a glistening silver band. I had a matching one. He turned to me and smiled, holding up a piece of bacon for me to eat. I woke up crying my eyes out.
"I'm starting to have hope for a better future."
But then, the next night, the dream started the same way, but the bacon turned into a syringe and Jimin turned into Jihoon. I woke up feeling numb.
I woke up feeling nothing.
"So yeah, I'm doing good."
Yoongi ended up not sharing how he really felt, but that's okay. He's good with dealing on his own.
The small crowd applauded as Yoongi sat back down, Hoseok immediately leaning in to give Yoongi a side hug (which Yoongi reacted to by pushing Hoseok's face away, but he still managed to get in a little bit of hug time). "You did well, hyung!" Hoseok said, ruffling Yoongi's hair. The elder rolled his eyes and crossed his legs, folding his hands over his knee.
"I just shared. Not a big deal." Yoongi shrugged his small shoulders. "You should share-"
"I think I should share!" Hoseok said, jumping up like it was his idea. Yoongi rolled his eyes, but smiled nontheless. "Okay so, back in high school I used to be an addict. Pills. I somehow managed to stay in school, and graduated, and life was kinda shit. BUT! I managed to come clean! My family helped me a lot. My father, mother, sister, they stood by me and supported me. In the end, I actually encouraged Yoongi-hyung to come clean! Ah! And I'm busy studying dance! I'm so happy." He smiled widely. "AND THIS ISN'T BRAGGING! I want to...I want to inspire other people. Give them hope. I want to be their hope! Things get better. If you work hard for it, you can be okay again. " Everyone applauded, and he smiled shyly. He sat down and his hyung patted his back. Hoseok looked at Yoongi and looked up again. "Oh! And I like my girlfriend a lot." He nodded his head, and everyone chuckled softly.
When the meeting ended, Yoongi was busy at the plate of cookies with Hoseok, when the sound of feet pattering caught his attention. Before he could even look up, Jimin was on Yoongi, with his arms wrapped tightly around his boyfriend's waist. Yoongi nearly swallowed a cookie whole and choked a bit before realising what was happening and hugging Jimin.
"J-Jimin? What are you doing here?" Yoongi patted his hair softly. His mochi looked up at him with those sparkly brown eyes and wide smile.
"My parents are busy, so I asked Jin-hyung to pick me up from a school function, and he brought me here cuz he knew you'd be here!" Jimin pecked Yoongi's cheek, his lips smushing against his sharp cheekbone. Jimin's hair was slightly damp. Jimin didn't care if anyone saw them at that moment, because Jimin had bought Yoongi a gift and couldn't wait to give it to him. Besides, Yoongi has said that their support group was small and everyone knew Yoongi was gay, so Jimin wasn't scared.
Yoongi glanced over at Jin, who stood at the entrance talking to Yoongi's sponser while leaning a bit on his umbrella. Jin smiled at Yoongi, who mouthed a silent thank you for having brought his boyfriend to him. Jin smiled even wider in response, and Jimin tugged on Yoongi's sleeve to get his attention. "Yes, baby boy?" Yoongi asked gently.
"Come with me to the car, pleeassee..." Jimin held Yoongi's large hands between his own two chubby hands, pulling him towards the door. Yoongi rolled his eyes and followed, waving good-bye to Hoseok.
The world outside was covered with a magical sheen as the rain was pouring down. There weren't a lot of people outside, the few who were were covering their faces with their umbrellas. Yoongi and Jimin, however, weren't so fortunate. Yoongi opened his jacket up over their heads as they rused across the parking lot to Jin's car and they dived. They both chuckled when they were inside, shaking their heads to get rid of the water droplets, trying to get the other one wet. Jimin giggled when Yoongi nuzzled his wet face in Jimin's neck, and Jimin squealed gently when Yoongi pressed his cold hands up the younger's shirt.
"My pretty baby..." Yoongi hummed, feeling Jimin's body beneath his hands. His strong chest, his small hips, the baby pudge on his tummy, even the scars felt beautiful beneath Yoongi's fingers. The scars were marks of how far Jimin has come, and how strong Jimin could be, because those are healed scars. "God, you're gorgeous..." Yoongi rasped when his hands started to become warm, and the tension in the car rose.
Jimin's giggles died down to a satisfied hum as Yoongi started kissing him. His pair of plump lips molded perfectly with Yoongi's thin, pouty lips. The older's hands never left Jimin's body, his praise never being said, but it could be felt in the way he was touching Jimin all over. The highschooler arched his back into Yoongi's touch, his curves and movements fitting perfectly into Yoongi's touch.
"Yoongi, we can't continue...J-Jin will be back any minute..." Jimin giggled softly, pushing Yoongi's face away until he was at arm's length.
"You're such a fucking little tease, but okay," he rasped, sitting back and taking a hand through his damp dark hair. "So, why did you pull me here?"
Jimin's eyes light up as he remembered his original intention in the car and he reached into his backpack. "So, Jin-hyung and I quickly went to the mall after he fetched me because he had to get something for the house or whatever, and I was browsing a store and then I found something I think will come in very handy for you."
"Oohh, is it a vibrator? It'll come in very handy for both of us," Yoongi wriggled his eyebrows, and Jimin blushed, almost crushing the box in his hands.
"S-screw off. It's not that! You're such a pervert," Jimin pulled the neatly wrapped box out of his backpack and held it out to Yoongi. "Here, for you." Jimin's smile rivalled the brightness of the sun at that moment. Yoongi's heart spasmed for a few seconds when he saw that bright smile. He took the gift and unwrapped it as neatly as he could. When he took the lid off, he smiled his sinature gummy smile.
"An e-cigarette?" Yoongi looked up at Jimin.
Jimin's face fell immediately, his eyebrows furrowed in worry. The crevices his frown created caused Yoongi to sit up straighter, his boyfriend-mode activated in full-swing upon the sight of his boyfriend's slight distress. "D-don't you li-"
Their lips found each other, and Jimin's body relaxed notably underneath his lover's lips. "I love it..." Yoongi's lips moved against Jimin's. "It's so thoughtful...Since I said I want to quit smoking..." His initial smile spread into a wide grin, and his cheek muscles strained against the alien force of his happiness.
Jimin smiled widely. "I'm so glad you like it, hyung...And I do hope to see a decrease in your smoking habit!" He pinched Yoongi's nose and sat back before Yoongi could return the favour. "But I wanna try it once."
"Absolutely fucking not," Yoongi replied, taking his new toy out of the box to examine it. He swiftly read the instructions before putting in a flavour cartridge.
"But hyung! It's not that bad! It's basically vapour! It's not addictive at all!" Jimin whined. "Jin even tried it! When I was in the shop, he came in and asked to try. He coughed a lot, but he said it tasted nice." Jimin jutted his bottom lip out and gave Yoongi his extra big puppy dog eyes, and Yoongi felt his self-control fade. How could he say no to Jimin? Besides, e-cigarettes aren't even a quarter as dangerous as cigarettes. And, above all, Yoongi knew that all teenagers would experiment with shit like that at some point in their lives. He'd rather be there to make sure Jimin doesn't do anything extra stupid than have him try anything on his own. He's heard Taehyung talk about smoking a bit of weed before with Jungkook, and when Jungkook had suggested they get Jimin in on it, Taehyung had said that Jimin wasn't really one for those kinds of things.
Yoongi's heart ached. If Jimin wasn't one for those kinds of things, why was he asking for a drag of the e-cigaratte? Yoongi shook those thoughts away, scared of what the answer might bring him. If Jin had tried it, then surely Jimin could. It was nothing.
Yoongi sighed heavily. "Fine. But only a drag. And when you cough, I'm going to laugh." Yoongi took the first drag, and his eyes widened at the delicious taste that tickled the back of his throat. He opened the car window and blew the smoke to the outside, not wanting Jimin to breathe any of it in. "Shit, tastes good. Like vanilla. Like you."
The other's mochi cheeks turned a peculiar shade of pink, but he still held his hand out for the device. Yoongi handed it to Jimin, who inspected it first before placing it between his lips. He held it wrong, and he was looking pretty stupid, and Yoongi had promised himself he wasn't going to laugh, but when Jimin dragged in and ended up coughing, Yoongi couldn't keep his chuckles in. "I-it tastes nice! But it burns my throat a bit..."
Yoongi grinned. "Poor baby." He took the device and dragged in again, as deep as he could, before pulling Jimin in for a deep kiss. Jimin understood what his boyfriend was trying, and Jimin opened his lips to let the sweet vapour into his mouth. With a quick swipe of their tongues, they withdrew just a bit to let the vapour out, but they breathed in each other's without meaning to. A thin string of saliva connected their lips, which were barely centimetres apart. "Was that better?"
"Again," Jimin asked breathlessly. They did it a few times, sharing the drags between them, until the interior of the car smelled like vanilla. A few times they included tongue, and Jimin really liked the intermingled taste of the vanilla and Yoongi's tongue and his own chapstick.
Their kissing, however, was interrupted by a flash shining in through the window and a "Jesus, can't you keep your tongues in your mouths for once!?". The boys broke apart and looked at the window to see Jin standing under his umbrella. Yoongi grinned and wriggled his fingers in a wave, while Jimin hid his face in the crook of his boyfriend's neck embarrassedly.
Jin climbed in the front, causing cold air to flow into the car. Yoongi wrapped his arms around Jimin. "Can I get a lift?" Yoongi asked, and Jin rolled his eyes.
"Yes, of course idiot. I doubt that any force on earth could tear the two of you apart right now. Wow, it smells like vanilla? Did you use your e-cig in here?"
"Sorry, hyung, I won't do it again. Jimin here said he liked the smell." Yoongi petted his boyfriend's head. Jimin huffed against the pale skin on the elder's neck, and Yoongi replied by slipping his hand up the back of Jimin's shirt to scratch gently at his back.
That night was simple and magical...
It was also the start of their bad days ahead.