Episode 4: Attack of the Lady Manager
Hitomi had had a late start that morning. Her father woke her up with a loud, rock guitar strum that nearly knocked her out of bed. She had put on her school uniform and went to class and during her free period she went to put on her maid outfit and went to the Host Club’s room. She would have another hard day of being the hosts’ maid.
The Host Club was officially opened for business.
“Oh Tamaki,” a girl swooned, love in her eyes, “why are you so beautiful?” Tamaki was wearing a fake blonde ponytail tied by a purple ribbon that matched his eyes. He wore a slightly open kimono that was orange and dark colors.
“It’s to catch your eye, even for just one second.”
“Why is your voice so sweet and mellow?” The other girl asked.
“To set your nerves at ease, so that my true feelings might reach your heart.”
“Why are your eyes filled with tears every time you look at me?” The last one asked and he looked up with tears in his eyes.
“Because the sight of your beautiful smile, causes the fountain inside me to start overflowing.”
“Oh Tamaki!” They all swooned and Hitomi passed tea to the two girls with the twins.
“I think it’s adorable that you’re wearing matching kimonos.” The room was beautiful though, Hitomi had to admit that. They always went all out when they did these things for the girls. They had decided they wanted a more traditional look and they made it look like a beautiful Japan. Flowers were everywhere and red carpet covered the floor. The boys plus Haruhi were all wearing kimonos though Hitomi stayed in her regular maid outfit.
The twins were wearing blue kimonos with red flowers on it. They had their legs crossed and they were sitting in matching chairs, “Our mother designed everything the Hosts’ are wearing today.” Hikaru explained as Hitomi looked up and saw the word "Beauty" on a poster behind them, “If you see something you like, we can take an order for you.”
“Our grandmother even helped us put them on.” Kaoru explained and Hikaru took the surprised Kaoru into his arms.
“But you know the only one undressing you will be me.” Hikaru said in a soft whisper.
“Hikaru,” Kaoru began, tears in his eyes, “you’re embarrassing me in front of everyone.” When he said everyone, he was looking at Hitomi who was pouring tea for Haruhi and the two girls with her.
“Haruhi, you look so cute in your kimono, almost like a girl!” Haruhi had a white ribbon in her hair and was wearing a purple kimono with pink flowers. It was beautiful.
“Thanks.” She said. She was kneeling on a mat that was laid on the floor.
“Haruhi, it looks like you as well as your friend, have booked more appointments. You both have had a steady flow of new customers lately. Keep up the good work,” Kyoya said and then turned to face them, “I’m not going to charge you interest like I normally do, so if you both keep this up you should be able to pay us back. But the rental on that kimono is nothing to sneeze at.” He smiled and Hitomi gave him a glare.
“Hello Kyoya,” a girl jumped in front of Hitomi and Haruhi, “I can’t even explain how good you look in that kimono. So are you planning to sell any more pictures of the Host Club?”
“Unfortunately, I don’t have anything right now.” Kyoyan smiled and Hitomi raised an eyebrow.
“But don’t you make a lot of money from selling items like that…not that I’m okay with guys taking my pictures 24/7.” She sighed.
“It’s true but the items are poor quality.” He held out four pictures, one with Hitomi in it and they were all blurred, “They were just amateur hidden camera shots. However, if we want to make money…”
“You’d have to take it from the school?” Hitomi finished and counted in her head, but Honey interrupted her with his entrance.
“Hito-chan, Hito-chan, I don’t know how but I lost one of my sandals.” He started crying and she walked over to him and smiled.
“But you were just wearing them, right?” She asked and Mori came in.
“Mitsukuni,” was all he needed to say when he grabbed Honey’s foot and put on his sandal.
“Takashi?” Honey inquired.
“I noticed that you dropped your sandal.” Mori said in his deep monotone voice.
“Takashi!” Honey cried and hugged Mori who hugged him back. It would’ve been cute but knowing the circumstances…
“How sweet.” One girl said and Hitomi saw that everyone was crying. Tears must be popular with the ladies today. Hitomi backed up and accidentally bumped into Kaoru and something fell out of his sleeve. Eye drops. Hitomi gave a side glance to him and he smiled.
“What’s this?” She held it up, irritated and the twins ended up behind her.
“For your information, it’s common for a Host to use eyedrops.” Kaoru explained first.
“No woman alive can resist a man on the brink of tears.” Hikaru smiled.
“Oh no!” Hikaru put his arm around her and put a finger to her face though her expression didn’t change, “Don’t be such a party pooper.”
“Here, have this.” Kaoru then proceeded to give Hitomi a sweet.
“For me?” She asked, a curious look on her face, “I’m not a big fan of sweets, but I could give it to Haruhi so she can offer it to her mother.” Hitomi smiled and then Tamaki pushed everyone out of them way.
“Here, have them all.” He piled more into her hands with more tears in his eyes.
“Let me guess, the tears are fake.” Hitomi asked bluntly and Tamaki took this as an insult.
“Only a true Host cries real tears! My tears are all genuine.” He said, another tear falling, “So do I impress you? Have you fallen for me yet?”
She gave him a blank stare, “You wish.”
“It seems my romantic overtures are not reaching you. Maybe I should add more.” He looked at her but her eyes were on the door where a girl was standing. She was too scared to come in. She was wearing an Ouran uniform and had light brown hair in a maroon bow.
“Looks like the Host Club has a brand new guest.” The twins said and went to go greet her, “Come on, what are you waiting for? Watching from afar is no fun.” They both held out roses for her.
“Stop that, how many times do I have to tell you to be nice to our first-time guests?” Tamaki asked and turned to face her, a rose also in his hand, “Please, you don’t have to be afraid, my princess. I welcome you to the Ouran Host Club.” She put out her hand and slapped him away.
“No! Don’t touch me, you’re phony!” She screamed in a high pitched voice. This took the whole Host Club by surprise. The only one to deny Tamaki was Hitomi.
“What do you mean, 'I’m phony'?” Tamaki asked in horror, a hand covering his face.
“Just what I said, you’re phony!” She pointed an accusing finger at him, “I find it surprising that a character like you is the prince of this Host Club! You shouldn’t go, spreading your love around so easily, stupid!” Tamaki fell to one side, “You must be a narcissist! You’re a disgusting, incompetent commoner!” She screamed and Tamaki broke.
“He’s created a new technique!” Hikaru said in awe.
“One man slow motion.” Kaoru named it as Tamaki fell backwards slowly.
“I don’t suppose, you are…” Kyoya began and she shook her head, tears flying everywhere.
“It’s you, Kyoya!” She screamed and jumped on Tamaki to get to Kyoya, “You don’t know how much I’ve longed to meet you!” She screeched and jumped onto him to give him a hug, “My one and only prince charming.”
To talk to the girl, they had cleaned up everything and turned to music room back into it’s regular parlor self and Hitomi had changed into her regular Ouran uniform as well as the others.
“Your fiancé?” Hikaru questioned.
“Kyoya-senpai?” Kaoru finished off.
“Of course. My name is Renge and I’m transferring into Ouran’s first year Class A tomorrow.” She smiled. Tamaki was in the corner sulking while the rest talked to Renge.
“Why is he sulking?” Hikaru didn’t sound that interested.
“Because mommy was keeping a secret from daddy.” Kaoru giggled.
“Shut up,” Kyoya sighed, “Why does everyone insist on referring to us as husband and wife?”
“Ours is a story of love at first sight! I couldn’t resist you admiring the flowers in the backyard when you thought no one else was looking.” Renge swooned, “And how you reached out to that poor and injured kitten.”
“She’s serious?” The twins blankly asked.
“Could you have the wrong person?” Hitomi and Haruhi asked at the same moment and then giggled to each other while Kyoya looked just as confused as the others.
“No way, I could recognize my love anywhere!” She said, offended. The twins were running in circles screaming as if they didn’t know Kyoya and Haurhi and Hitomi watched as the Hosts did their little circus act, “He’s a gentle man who’s kind to everyone but doesn’t ask for anything in return. He likes solitude, but in fact, he sometimes gets lonely.
“He looks just like the popular sim from Uki-Doki Memorial! You’re my real life Ichijo Miyabi.” She said and everyone seemed to understand.
“Uki-Doki?” Hitomi inquired.
“OTAKU!” The twins plus Tamaki screamed, “I’VE NEVER SEEN ONE.”
“I get it now. You’re in love with that character and you’re projecting those feelings towards me and you’ve somehow deluded yourself to thinking we’re engaged.” Kyoya said and everyone glared at him.
“So you made it up, you’re not really her fiancé right?” Tamaki asked.
“Well, I don’t remember asking her hand in marriage. Besides, this is the first time I’ve ever met her.” Everyone gasped and glared even further. He should have said so earlier.
“According to my research, I understand that you’re in charge of managing the Club, is that true Kyoya?” Renge sat next to him, her cheeks full of blush.
“That’s right, Kyo-chan is our Club’s director!” Honey said, holding Usa-chan close to his body.
“You’re the Club’s director, that’s perfect!” Renge then went off into her own world again, “Oh wow! I’ve always wanted to wear a sandwich board and advertise a business.”
“We don’t have advertise, we’re just a Host Club.” The twins interrupted but she wasn’t listening.
“I’ve made my decision, “ she twirled, “that from now on, I will be the manager of this Host Club.”
“Uh, Kyoya,” Hitomi started but he shushed her by putting a finger to her lips. Renge flinched.
“Renge is the only daughter to a very important Ootori client. So please be polite and try not to offend her, alright?” He took his finger away and she nodded accordingly. He gave her a peculiar look.
“Well boys and girl, I can’t wait to work with you.” She smiled and Hitomi smiled back It would be nice to have another girl around since Haruhi always played a boy.
This would be…different.
Hitomi was actually there earlier than she had planned and she had changed earlier. She was starting to enjoy the Host Club, strangely enough. She loved the people there, even if they were annoying every now and then and it was nice talking to Haruhi everyday and always hanging out. She seemed to enjoy it too, though she’s just as reluctant to say it.
“I thought about it a lot last night and maybe having a lady manager might not be such a bad idea.” Tamaki said after the meeting had begun.
“Then why am I a hostess?!” Hitomi countered, the hem of her dress twirling a bit.
“Why do you say that?” The twins ignored her and she leaned again the chair Haruhi was sitting in. Everyone was sitting except for her.
“Well, Renge just transferred into the same class as Haruhi and so if they’re all in the same class, it could bring a more female side to both Hitomi and Haruhi.” Hitomi grit her teeth at this response, “Renge’s own tenderness could bring out their femininity.”
“Good grief.” Haruhi sighed.
“Now is our chance for Hitomi and Haruhi to get in touch with their feminine sides. This is a very important project.
“Hitomi doesn’t have any friends besides Haruhi and these two shady twins.” Tamaki pointed at them, “That’s no good for her.”
“You have room to talk.” They twitched their eyes as they cocked their heads.
“Hey, you’ll all be happy to know that your new manager Renge has baked you all a batch of cookies.” Renge opened the door and entered.
“Ah!” Tamaki said and waltzed over to her, “Isn’t she ladylike? I admire her generosity.”
“I didn’t bake them for you, you phony prince.” She bluntly said and Tamaki went into sulking mode.
“I’m sorry I burnt them a little bit.” She said lovingly to Kyoya, “But I did the best I could. I already know what you’re going to say.” Anything you make is going to be delicious, of course, “You’re always so sweet to me, Kyoya.”
Honey took a cookie and at it with a look of horror on his face, “No kidding, these cookies really are burnt.”
“Don’t eat that, Misukuni, those are bad for you.” Mori said and Renge glared.
“She’s scary!” Honey screamed as they ran away and it looked like Renge was a running Medusa. Hitomi picked up the cookies and took one and ate it.
“They’re not that bad actually. They’ve got a good flavor to them.” She said, chewing on the cookie. The twins looked at Tamaki and an idea popped in their heads. As Hitomi put another on it her mouth, Hikaru took her face in his fingers.
“May I try?” He asked then took a bite of the cookie in her mouth. She heard a grunt.
“Oh, Hitomi, you’ve got crumbs on your face.” Kaoru said and out his face closer to hers. He then proceeded to lick the crumbs off of her cheek. Three grunts and then someone was screaming as the twins laughed.
“Did you see what they just did?!” Tamaki screamed.
“The trio of classmates are closer than they’ve ever been before.” Kyoya only said.
“You could have just told me and I could have wiped it off and if you wanted to try on, there’s plenty here.” Hitomi held up the bag and Tamaki took her face in his hands.
“That’s not the way you’re supposed to react, Hitomi! You have to be strong and reject them and brush them to the side! Do you understand?!” Tamaki screamed in her face.
“This is sexual harassment, Tamaki.” Hitomi said with a blank stare.
“Sexual harassment?!” He screamed, “If this is sexual harassment then what they did was twice as worse! Someone call the police!”
“Cut it out, Boss, we’re sorry.” The twins said.
“Renge-chan, Renge-chan,” Honey called out, “want some? It’s milk.”
“Lukewarm.” She said and then faced him, “Every single one of you! All of your characters, except for Kyoya, is lukewarm!” She pointed, “Each of you needs to have a dark side, you understand? Girls are vulnerable to handsome young men who are troubled. If you keep acting like this, girls will get tired of you and stop coming altogether. Are you trying to ruin my precious Kyoya’s business?
“As manager, my job is to change all of your characters backgrounds. Let’s start with you!” Renge pointed at the screaming Honey, “If you’re nothing but cute inside and out, you’re nothing more than a baby. Therefore, from now on you’re the baby faced thug!
“And Mori-senpai, you’re his childhood friend, the flunky! And the twins will be basketball players enslaved in their own world! Haruhi, you’re an honor student who’s constantly being bullied!” Renge added and Hitomi clenched her fists, “For Tamaki, you’re the idol everyone adores but you actually have an inferiority complex you’re hiding from the world.
“The Lonely Prince!” Tamaki gasped, “And Kyoya you’re perfect just the way you are.”
“Thank you I’m honored, but what about Hitomi?” Kyoya asked and Hitomi turned around as if she couldn’t be seen.
“Why she’s the main one that you all love and you’ll all fight for her in the end.” Hitomi pointed at herself as if there could be another girl.
“The Lonely Prince?” He was still on that? “It’s perfect for me.”
“She couldn’t be farther from the truth.” Hitomi muttered.
The twins took Kyoya to the side, “C’mon Kyoya-senpai, you have to do something.” They said as Renge jumped up and down to hear.
“Why? It seems like the boss is up for it.” Kyoya pointed and they all looked over to him.
“How does this look?” He asked, his elbow against the wall, his head down and his eyes closed.
“Oh wow, you’re pretty good Tamaki, but you know what would be better? If it was raining.” She squealed.
Everyone groaned.
“Let’s just wait and see how things turn out. It could be interesting. It always is.” Kyoya smiled.
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This was a very...interesting chapter to write! xD I love Renge, weirdly enough. She brings out the comedy in the entire show and I love that, plus she's played by one of my favorite voice actors, Monica Rial. I always have strong connections to my favorite voice actors.
Sorry this is so short, I wanted it over 3.000 words, but I was cut short by 100. So, i'm sorry about that. Anyway, i hope you enjoy this weird commeny, romance, and just plain weird story and continue to support it. All the support I've been recieving is so overwhelming, you don't understand.
I freak out everytime I look at my votes, or followers or reads. It makes me happy and your comments all mean the world to me. Thank you all so much!
Love always,
Nicole-y (Fanfiction Version)