Amber-
my due date.
I've been waiting for this day for a long time. I haven't gone to see Kai in two weeks. I don't know if I can trust him anymore. Watching him beat up Jeremiah almost to death, terrified me. I can barely sleep at night. I shake in bed. I don't know who I want the father of this baby to be anymore.
I feel blindsided. Kai loves me. I can tell. And I love him. But I'm scared when he touches me, I just picture it. The doctor never told me to stay off my feet, I just needed an excuse to not see my best friend anymore.
"Hey, Amber!" Molly says over the phone.
"Oh, hey!" I say back.
Molly is Kai's little sister. She has always called.
"Happy due date!" She exclaims.
"Yep!" I say awkwardly.
"I'm excited to meet my little niece or nephew!" She says excitedly.
Nephew. I think.
I hate awkward conversation. They are one of my biggest pet peeves. And for some odd reason, I'm always in them. Like, Molly I do not want to tell you how I'm going and what cravings I'm having! I shouldn't have to tell you! Kai should be here calling you and telling you!
Kai.
Kai.
Contraction. My whole body aches, and I let out a sigh. I start to breath heavily. When it passes, I call my doctor. She tells me to wait until my contractions are 3-5 minutes apart. But I was already at three minutes apart. I get in the car and start driving. They admit me, and I lay in my hospital bed, all alone.
"Okay, Amber, you're about ready to push." The doctor tells me after four hours of labor. I sigh of relief.
"1, 2, 3, 4,- 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10" the doctor counts down as I start to push. "You got this Amber!" She yells.
She was my only support system. My mom there, but she felt too bad for me to try anything new. They ask my to go again. Everything hurt so bad, I couldn't push. I just wanted someone there, holding my hand. I didn't want to have this baby alone. Kai still had two weeks in jail. And I don't even know if I trust him anymore.
"I can't, I can't!" I cry in relief. I relax my head.
"Amber, if you don't push, the chord might get wrapped around the neck." She says.
I just start crying. Everything ached. I wanted so badly to be done with labor. Then, after two more tries of pushing, I see a nerdy dirty blonde haired kid with glasses and a few bruises run into my room. He grabs my hand. He kisses my forehead.
"Hey, babe." He says.