How did I get myself in this mess?
Everything was going so well but now, suddenly I have myself cought up in a mystery drama.
What changed?
I first met Izuku when we were little. Our mothers knew each other, so we spent a lot of time together. Not by choice at first, but we started to grow fond of each other. I know I made fun of him all the time, and I don't know if he took it the wrong way or not but he always stayed by my side.
That was something I always would remember.
At some point, when I was still a small child, I finally got my quirk. Me, my family and friends all were proud of it, because it was so powerful and unique. But all everyone could see was that I could make my hands explode.
To Izuku it was so much more.
When we would hang out, he'd tell me a lot of things about my quirk, about how it was very powerful, much so I could even manage to get into the prestige U.A. hero high school when I got older, which I used to think was just smooth talk to get the better of me.
In time, Izuku started to get interested in heroes, their quirks to be precise. He even started to collect information on them, pictures of the heroes in action, write down important details about them.
His unusual hobby then seemed a little funny to me, so I made up a nickname for him, starting to call him Deku, instead of Izuku. This went on, and I still had no idea of why he was collecting those things, until we started middle school.
Me and Izuku got into the same school again. I made new friends, but he started to get isolated from the class, becoming the loner. He was still making those weird notes, though that wasn't the strangest thing to happen to him.
He still hadn't shown any signs of a quirk.
Every time someone would ask him about his quirk, he'd brush it off and continue with another subject. Some students even tried to ask about it to the teachers, but that was of no use, since the personal documents were stored with the principal, who had no right to show Izuku's data to regular students.
Most of the students started to grow suspicious of Izuku being quirkless and even though I didn't want to believe it, I started to think about it too. My mind was in constant war with itself for a while until I managed to get the answer out of Izuku.
He didn't want to at first but he admitted it to me, that he couldn't have a quirk.
That was where I made my first big mistake.
The next day when he came to school, he was greeted with a swarm of our classmates approaching him at the same time, asking him questions like "Is it true, Izuku? You're quirkless?" or "I knew it, he was just too embarrassed to tell anyone!" or "No wonder he's so weak, he wouldn't even hurt a fly!"
Instead of coming to me to scold me or being upset with me, Izuku just embraced it. I would even tease him for it, but he didn't do anything to stop me. He continued to be nice to me and seeked help from me when he needed it, like nothing had happened.
He liked me just as dearly as he liked me when we were children. And before the end of the first year I realized that I had the same kind of feelings for him.
I denied it at first, saying that I liked him like that because we were friends, but with time I realized that it wasn't even close to that.
I... loved him...
I was young and I didn't know what to do with my feelings. I had fallen in love with the guy I was supposed to hate and I decided to keep my feelings to myself, though after some time I realized it wasn't working.
I had to do something. Anything.
So I did. My foolish younger self decided that it was a good idea to follow my feelings and confess to him, without acknowledging how he felt about me. It was like I forced myself on him.
I decided to tell him in private one day after school when we would go home together.
I started to talk about how he made me feel and was about to reach the three words that could completely change how he viewed me, before he stopped me.
The little boy that I had grown to like so much told me that he liked me back. No, not just liked me back, he said that... he loved me.
A cluster of positive and negative emotions filled my mind and heart when I heard those four words - I love you too - leave his lips, that I completely lost control of what I was doing. My feelings came to life and my brain blacked out.
I reached down my hands and took his hands up, reached them around my head and bolted forward with my eyes completely shut. The next thing I felt was his soft lips press against mine, at the moment I realized what I had done and couldn't take it back.
I don't know what his reaction was, I didn't dare look, but when he didn't pull away or struggle to get himself out of my grip I thought that he was actually enjoying it.
"Bakugo? Izuku? What are you doing?" a voice came from behind the corner on the street.
"Eww! Are they kissing? That's so gross!" another persons voice came from the same place.
My eyes shot open as I pulled away from Izuku in an instant.
No... What did I do? Now everyone will know... What will they say about me? Think about me? I can't let this happen!
"What did you do, Deku?" I yelled out as I covered my mouth with my clenched fist.
He just stood there, looking at me like he still didn't know what was going on. So, in my own good, I decided to use him to get outside of this problem.
"We were just walking and he suddenly kissed me! I didn't know what was going on!" I said, making it seem like I was shocked, when I turned sideways to face my classmates.
"Oh my god! Izuku really just kissed you? That's disgusting!"
"Wait... so Izuku likes boys? Like, he's gay or something?"
I just stood there, staring at them, but then I finally looked at Izuku. He was looking at me with the most disturbing face I had ever seen. He looked like he was betrayed, like he had wanted for me to say or do something else. Like he thought I was better than I appeared to be.
I couldn't say anything to him, though his green eyes looked like they were asking me a million questions. I just stood there and looked at him like he was supposed to know that was going to happen.
He didn't say anything either. He looked down, his hair covered his eyes, so I couldn't see them at all. Tears started flooding down his cheeks and dripped down next to his feet on the hard ground.
Izuku barely wiped off his tears before running off in the opposite direction from me and two of our classmates.
"Yeah, you better run! Dumb Izuku!" the two of our classmates yelled at him from the back until he had disappeared from our sight.
I went home that day, thinking about much more than before. What was going to become of me? Izuku? Us?
He didn't talk to me after that. I had to pretend that I hated him, to bully him, to despise him completely. This strange hatred soon turned into something more than an act to cover up my mistake.
After we finished the school together, he managed to get into both of our dream school - The U.A. My act had gone so far, that hating him had become my reality. His reality. Our reality.
He had put his feelings behind a long time ago, though I kept returning to them from time to time.
His idol died in a fight against some villains, which broke him, but I failed to see. Everyone around me started to tell me how wrong was it for me to treat him that way, but I refused to listen. I kept saying that it was what he deserved, though I had forgotten why I had been acting that way toward him in the first place.
Everything completely changed that night when he ran away, the same night his mother died of a stroke, the same night I had seen him for the last time in the next few months.
I realized that I still loved him as dearly as before, that it wasn't something that I felt only because I was a child. That I had to change for him. For myself. For us.
Little did I know that when I finally decided to do so, I had already waited past the limit. He was about to break at some point, and that point had already struck his fragile soul.
The next thing, I found myself on the rooftop of his house, watching as his dark green hair waved into the wind.
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Hey look what I did. Ffs I was cringing so hard I just can't.
Anyway, this was a bit too emotionally draining for me so maybe the other promised main chap won't be out until next week (sorry?)
My head hurts. Hope you enjoyed it lmao
Art credit: hah. hahah. guess what. even on ig finding credits is fucking hard
Leave your opinions/thoughts/suggestions in the comments!
Cya!
~Craptchy